What if Tom Bombadil got his own recording deal?

[The Barrow-Wight]

Bombadil with a record deal? Sounds improbably, since the label would have to bring the studio to him. I doubt old Tom would step foot out of his own little comfort zone. Imagine a pack of technicians trudging down the East Road and across the Downs just to get a nutty eccentric like T.B. to lay down a few tracks of his terribly outdated ditties. Those folks from BTBEoM must have brought the mobile studio.

Assuming that some ambitious (or crazy) producer could put it together logistically, the next question seems apparent. Who would buy a Tom Bombadil CD? What genre would he fit into. Folk? Rap? Schoolhouse Rock? Sure, poetic talkers like Wolf Doggy Fang from the Marish are all the rage, but would anyone flock to the stores to drop 12 silver pennies for 60 minutes of derry dols and ring a dong dillos?

But the whole premise of this thread is that someone has decided Tom is worth the effort, and a contract has already been awarded. So all of my questions are irrelevant. The man is ready to rock the mic like a vandal, so we might as well consider the consequences of ‘what happens next’. Let’s consider the actual music first. Since I’m privy to a lot of secret Middle-earth information that most Downers never hear about, I will share with you some info about Tom’s CD.

The Bombadil Show
1. Hey Dol! Pt.1
2. Merry Dol!
3. River Daughter Dance
4. Hey Dol! Pt.2
5. What I’m Wearing
6. Get out, you old Wight!
7. Merry Dol! Reprise
8. Fatty Lumpkin Lullaby
9. Goldberry Blues
10. Hey Dol! Pt 3.

I ask again. Who’s going to buy this stuff!? I can’t go on. The next thing you know, Bombadil will be on tour in the Rockin’ Shire!