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Old 06-24-2004, 06:58 PM   #11
Theron Bugtussle
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Blowing the froth off a couple in this quaint little pub in Michel Delving.
Posts: 147
Theron Bugtussle has just left Hobbiton.
Tolkien Saving Private Ryan

When Sam keeps Frodo from turning himself in at Minas Morgul--

Sam: Frodo, if your mother saw you do that, she'd be upset!
Frodo: I thought you were my mother.


When Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli encounter Gandalf in Fangorn--

Aragorn: I have some news you should know about--bad news.
Gandalf: Yes?
Aragorn: The hobbits--there were four of them. Two of the hobbits were captured when we hit Normandy. They were taken behind enemy lines. We think--well, we're pretty sure orcs ate them.
Gandalf: Oh!
Aragorn: And a third hobbit--the fat, stupid one--was, well, drowned before he could hit the beach. I--I think it was all the cooking gear.
Gandalf, the renewed life draining from him: Oh, my!
Aragorn: There's more.
Gandalf: More? Oh--oh! I gotta sit down....
Aragorn: The fourth hobbit, the one with the ring--and the blue eyes. He parachuted into Mordor with the 101st, the night before the invasion.
Gandalf: Is he alive?
Aragorn: We don't know. The last contact we had, he was in the company of a wicked, slimy creature--gave me the willies!
Gandalf: Well, if he's alive, we're going to send someone to get him the hell out of there.
Aragorn: Yes, sir!

[Next scene - Aragorn meets with his aides]
Aragorn: There is a hobbit, a Frodo Baggins, that parachuted into Mordor with a ring. He is near a-[he looks at a map of the theater]-a Mount Doom.
Legolas: What has that got to do with us?
Aragorn: I want you to take a squad in there and get him.
Gimli: But--but, he's just a hobbit!
Aragorn: He's the last of four brothers. We have to send him back to his mother. Alive, if we can. This is straight from the Wizard in White.
Legolas: But sir--the numbers just don't add up!
Gimli: That's right! One puny, simpering hobbit--we could lose a whole squad of men! Not to mention a comic sidekick dwarf and a heartthrob Leggy!
Legolas: Damn right! A hobbit just isn't worth it!
Aragorn: This one is. YOU HAVE YOUR ORDERS.
Legolas and Gimli: Yes, sir!

[Aragorn turns sharply and strides away]
Legolas looks at Gimli, and Gimli at Legolas. Both say: FUBAR!
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For I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to; the long explanations needed by the young are wearying. -Gandalf, The Two Towers

Last edited by Theron Bugtussle; 06-24-2004 at 07:13 PM.
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