Lord of the Pants... - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Audreidi · 06-06-2004, 02:48 PM

All that are pants do not glitter,
Not all those who buy pants are lost;
The pants that are strong do not wrinkle,
Deep pants are bought with a cost.

From the ashes some pants shall be woken,
Trousers from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be hems that were broken:
The pantless again shall be king.

Heehee...this is great...I believe I visited the original site, though I've tried going on again and I think it's down now. Fun...

Hey, lookit that, a fellow Monty Python fan! (waves)

Saraphim · 06-06-2004, 08:59 PM

Monty Python is the king of humor.

Anyway, going with the naming motif:

Huan the pants
Glorfindel the Pants-slayer
Erestor, chief pants of Elrond
Elrond, Half-pants
Earendel, giver of pants to the people of Middle-Earth

This thread just goes to show that something simple can be so gosh darn funny. I mean, we wear pants every day, for crying out loud. Or at least, most of us do. *shifty eyes*

Nimrothiel · 06-10-2004, 09:34 PM

Audreidi, that was brilliant!

Switching to names of places:

The Lonely Pants or The Pants Mountain (Hmmm, that makes sense if you've read 'Durin's Pants;' you haven't? Well I simply must post it for your benefit; it's from the original thread and I don't remember who wrote it, but I love it.)

Without further ado and lengthy sentences, I give you...

Durin's Pants

The pants were young, their contents green,
no stain yet in the pants was seen,
no pants were laid on skin or bone,
when Durin woke and walked alone.

He ate the tasteless beasts and plants;
he tried on yet unsoiled pants;
he squatted down by Mirrormere,
and saw a growing stain appear,
as waste from inside him he passed,
it splashed down out from his @ss.

The pants were fair, their wearer tall,
in Elder Days before the fall
of mighty turds in (dududoz)*
and Calvin Klein, who now because
of reeking stench have passed away:
the pants were fair in Durin's day.

A king he was on dirty loo,
in halls which smelled of rancid poo,
with streaky brown and yellow floor,
and piles of pants around the doo.
The reek of crap and sh*t and dirt,
the nostrils of all the people hurt;
uncoverable by fine perfume,
it stank forever in that room.

There urine on the water plopped,
there bottoms bared as pants were dropped:
there forged were pants, and down flowed wee;
a raging torrent was set free.
There boxers, briefs, and underwear,
and pants were sewn with fabric fair,
piles of pants upon the floor,
this underwear was laid in store.
Unshrinking then were urine flows;
beneath the mountain odour rose:
the parpers parped the gases sang,
and all the toilet flushes rang.

The fabric's worn, the pants are old,
the toilet seat is ashen cold;
no fart is smelled no feeces fall;
the darkness dwells in Durin's hall;
the seat is down upon his loo,
in Moria, in Khazad-Poo.
But still the sunken pants appear,
in brown and windless Mirrormere.
There lie his pants in darkness deep,
till Durin wakes again from sleep.

*You try finding a brand name of pants that rhymes with "because!" Some of the "-eds" should be accented; unfortunately my computer is incapable of this function.

Quirkette · 06-12-2004, 04:53 AM

Words of wisdom from movie Sam: "That was for Frodo...and this is for the Shire! And this is for my old pants!"

"Not if I pants you first!"

"We'd better get you some clothes. You can't go on in naught but your pants."

"If ever I was to pants somebody, it would have been her. It would have been her."

06-06-2004, 02:48 PM	#1
Audreidi Pile O'Bones Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: I'm not sure anymore, on account of my being dead and all. Posts: 20	All that are pants do not glitter, Not all those who buy pants are lost; The pants that are strong do not wrinkle, Deep pants are bought with a cost. From the ashes some pants shall be woken, Trousers from the shadows shall spring; Renewed shall be hems that were broken: The pantless again shall be king. Heehee...this is great...I believe I visited the original site, though I've tried going on again and I think it's down now. Fun... Hey, lookit that, a fellow Monty Python fan! (waves) __________________ Hold on, my train of thought derailed. And it's some undertaking to get it back on track, I can tell you... --Audreidi & Jandalf, proud members and Twins of Optometry for the Society of Nearsighted Elves

06-06-2004, 08:59 PM	#2
Saraphim Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The other side of freezing. Posts: 404	Monty Python is the king of humor. Anyway, going with the naming motif: Huan the pants Glorfindel the Pants-slayer Erestor, chief pants of Elrond Elrond, Half-pants Earendel, giver of pants to the people of Middle-Earth This thread just goes to show that something simple can be so gosh darn funny. I mean, we wear pants every day, for crying out loud. Or at least, most of us do. shifty eyes __________________ I drink Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters! ~ Always remember: pillage BEFORE you burn.

06-10-2004, 09:34 PM	#3
Nimrothiel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Imladris Posts: 288	Audreidi, that was brilliant! Switching to names of places: The Lonely Pants or The Pants Mountain (Hmmm, that makes sense if you've read 'Durin's Pants;' you haven't? Well I simply must post it for your benefit; it's from the original thread and I don't remember who wrote it, but I love it.) Without further ado and lengthy sentences, I give you... Durin's Pants The pants were young, their contents green, no stain yet in the pants was seen, no pants were laid on skin or bone, when Durin woke and walked alone. He ate the tasteless beasts and plants; he tried on yet unsoiled pants; he squatted down by Mirrormere, and saw a growing stain appear, as waste from inside him he passed, it splashed down out from his @ss. The pants were fair, their wearer tall, in Elder Days before the fall of mighty turds in (dududoz)* and Calvin Klein, who now because of reeking stench have passed away: the pants were fair in Durin's day. A king he was on dirty loo, in halls which smelled of rancid poo, with streaky brown and yellow floor, and piles of pants around the doo. The reek of crap and sht and dirt, the nostrils of all the people hurt; uncoverable by fine perfume, it stank forever in that room. There urine on the water plopped, there bottoms bared as pants were dropped: there forged were pants, and down flowed wee; a raging torrent was set free. There boxers, briefs, and underwear, and pants were sewn with fabric fair, piles of pants upon the floor, this underwear was laid in store. Unshrinking then were urine flows; beneath the mountain odour rose: the parpers parped the gases sang, and all the toilet flushes rang. The fabric's worn, the pants are old, the toilet seat is ashen cold; no fart is smelled no feeces fall; the darkness dwells in Durin's hall; the seat is down upon his loo, in Moria, in Khazad-Poo. But still the sunken pants appear, in brown and windless Mirrormere. There lie his pants in darkness deep, till Durin wakes again from sleep. You try finding a brand name of pants that rhymes with "because!" Some of the "-eds" should be accented; unfortunately my computer is incapable of this function. __________________ "Walrus?! Will you quit makin' up imaginary animals?!!" ~ Sarge; Red vs. Blue

06-12-2004, 04:53 AM	#4
Quirkette Haunting Spirit Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: A shotgun shack Posts: 86	Words of wisdom from movie Sam: "That was for Frodo...and this is for the Shire! And this is for my old pants!" "Not if I pants you first!" "We'd better get you some clothes. You can't go on in naught but your pants." "If ever I was to pants somebody, it would have been her. It would have been her." __________________ "No food, no rest, nothing for Smeagol," said Gollum. "He's a sneak."