The Hills of Evendim Planning/Discussion Thread - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Nurumaiel · 05-28-2004, 08:43 PM

I think I'll go along with Imladris and Elora and say the first song, Eswen. I like both and considered it carefully, but I agree that the first sounds more Elvish.

By the way, Elora, it's good to 'see' you again! I hope you're doing well!

littlemanpoet · 05-28-2004, 09:18 PM

Eswen: The first Lament is the more lyrical and Elvish sounding. The second one reminds me of the Norse, so that would more likely come from someone from Rohan. Unless that's the Dark Queen. I like them both in their own ways.

One change or so I would make before you edit the 1st version into your Eswen lament post:

Her very essence was star and moonlight
And so she quited the earth when dawn rose.

Elves probably wouldn't talk about "very essence", so... how about.....

Her heart was star and moonlight;
She quitted earth when dawn rose.

Another suggestion; instead of

Birds sing enchanting melodies.

how about....

Birds sing songs of enchantment

....I don't know - mine's not much better, it's just that I'm looking for a more flowing feel to the line.

And I'm sorry but the next line always reminds me of a shampoo...

No more tears shall be shed from her crystal blue eyes
No longer will she weep from despair in these mortal lands,
No longer will she feel the pain of death around her

How about....

Never shall her crystal eyes be stained with tears
She shall weep no more from despair in mortal lands
No more shall she feel the pain of death

I'm not exactly sure why I prefer the latter to the former. You decide.

The parts that I haven't commented on for suggestions, are exquisite!

Elora (and others):

Time is indeed pressing on this rp. I plan on a final closing post to be uploaded on May 31, which will include the journey and report in Bree, and the denouement in terms of each character.

It seems that the preferred method of keeping various characters going is to go to the Inn of either the Shire, Gondor, or Rohan, and branch off from there. An alternative to that, is to request permission from an appropriate rp leader to dove-tail into that rp. Yet another alternative is to beg, borrow, and plead with Pio for the mercy to follow the progress of various characters to wherever they're going until they arrive at one of the three Inns, or another rp.

Elora · 05-30-2004, 01:09 AM

AH, then to the Inn shall Uien go, for she gave her word to return to those she left to commence this venture.

littlemanpoet · 05-30-2004, 06:03 PM

Eswen and Lumiel, it's in my head that Lira's body, and Eswen and Lumiel, will not be there in the morning, and that Uien will know that they have left, and when, and any other details, etc. Sound good? If you haven't gotten back to me by tomorrow, that's what will be written, although I'm sure I can change it from that if you want.

piosenniel · 06-03-2004, 02:56 AM

Esgallhugwen

The game thread is now closed.

Post your Elvish Lament here on the discussion thread and tell me which # post you want it put on.

Please do that before Friday.

I am moving the game to Elvenhome on Friday morning along with the Planning and Discussion threads. Once that is done, only the elvenhome moderator can place your post for you.

~*~ Pio

Esgallhugwen · 06-05-2004, 08:40 PM

Grrrr. Sometimes I ask myself why? Then I remember if anything can go wrong it will go wrong! I would have had this up earlier but a storm, light on rain heavy on lightning decided to strike causing a power outage. I think I'll just go into my room where nothing too bad could possibly happen to me, and leave the social world for awhile, but thats impossible so I'll just have to deal with it.

Can't wait till you guys start to tell the tale at the Green Dragon, too bad my character couldn't be there too, but she had more pressing matters, don't forget to mention her, please

Here's the Lament, I used Italian for the words that didn't exist in elvish and improvised a little as well to make things work:

Nairë an Lira (Lament for Lira)

Lira Nen yassen si lei nórë?
Là andavë sé Eryn Lasgalen var vanima Ithilien
Lei dolce óma nira là na hlarë sé questi nórë ata

Mi ormë rauma mandë denominato lei
Ai! Quello lei hroa era rácina sé quello úro nómë
Quello lei Fëa era incarcerato mi ungo
Sé i mórnië i carnë rauco é venuto mal lei sfidato a lui

A! Elbereth Gilthiniel!
silvren penna miriel
o menel aglar elenath,
Gilthoniel, A! Elbereth!

Lei órë era silmë ar isilmë
Lei rinunciato ambar quando àra ortanë

Ràsa chiamate, ninquë falassë a laica campi
Tinda a laurë fiori ondeggiamento mi ëar hwesta
Lindo lindë di lúcë

Mai fare lei mírë hen na vaxë lacrimenen
Lei fare nyényë lá lillor nyérë sé firima nórë
Lá lil fare lei sentire i nwalya di anqualë

Sérë sé sacro Aman, melda Lira
Sérë si oallo i móta di Endor
Mi nórë di oira lómë

(Its a fairly rough translation, but I did my best, its probably botched to pieces though)

piosenniel · 06-06-2004, 02:02 AM

~*~ To Elvenhome ~*~

Esgallhugwen · 05-30-2004, 06:09 PM

Thanks for your input guys, it helps me continue with my work to know that other people like it! LMP your critiques are appreciated, I'll change those lines it sounds better with them, way more Elf like, more flowing.

Ha, I guess those lines do sort of sound like a shampoo commercial.

New Herbal Elves formula doesn't burn sensitive Elven eyes and keeps hair silky and clean when fighting orcs.

Anyway, sounds good to me LMP, Eswen and Lumiel will more than likely be gone before the rest wake up. Now I have to start on the translation.

littlemanpoet · 05-30-2004, 06:42 PM

Hmmm... I thought Finëwen was going to go with Eodwine! If she goes with Eswen and Lumiel instead, Eodwine is going to have something on his mind.....

Esgallhugwen · 05-30-2004, 06:46 PM

whoops sorry I just edited it and got rid of Finewen, but if she does go it might make things interesting as to what Eodwine would want to do. We'll have to see what she thinks about it.

piosenniel · 06-01-2004, 01:59 AM

As littlemanpoet has put up the epilogue, I have closed the game to posting. I will leave the game in the Shire for a few days, should someone need to tweak a post. You can just leave a note for me here on this thread.

Nice game everyone!

~*~ Pio

05-28-2004, 08:43 PM	#1
Nurumaiel Vice of Twilight Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: on a mountain Posts: 1,121	I think I'll go along with Imladris and Elora and say the first song, Eswen. I like both and considered it carefully, but I agree that the first sounds more Elvish. By the way, Elora, it's good to 'see' you again! I hope you're doing well! __________________ In the fury of the moment I can see the Master's hand in every leaf that trembles, in every grain of sand.

05-28-2004, 09:18 PM	#2
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	Laments Eswen: The first Lament is the more lyrical and Elvish sounding. The second one reminds me of the Norse, so that would more likely come from someone from Rohan. Unless that's the Dark Queen. I like them both in their own ways. One change or so I would make before you edit the 1st version into your Eswen lament post: Her very essence was star and moonlight And so she quited the earth when dawn rose. Elves probably wouldn't talk about "very essence", so... how about..... Her heart was star and moonlight; She quitted earth when dawn rose. Another suggestion; instead of Birds sing enchanting melodies. how about.... Birds sing songs of enchantment ....I don't know - mine's not much better, it's just that I'm looking for a more flowing feel to the line. And I'm sorry but the next line always reminds me of a shampoo... No more tears shall be shed from her crystal blue eyes No longer will she weep from despair in these mortal lands, No longer will she feel the pain of death around her How about.... Never shall her crystal eyes be stained with tears She shall weep no more from despair in mortal lands No more shall she feel the pain of death I'm not exactly sure why I prefer the latter to the former. You decide. The parts that I haven't commented on for suggestions, are exquisite! Elora (and others): Time is indeed pressing on this rp. I plan on a final closing post to be uploaded on May 31, which will include the journey and report in Bree, and the denouement in terms of each character. It seems that the preferred method of keeping various characters going is to go to the Inn of either the Shire, Gondor, or Rohan, and branch off from there. An alternative to that, is to request permission from an appropriate rp leader to dove-tail into that rp. Yet another alternative is to beg, borrow, and plead with Pio for the mercy to follow the progress of various characters to wherever they're going until they arrive at one of the three Inns, or another rp.

05-30-2004, 01:09 AM	#3
Elora Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Kalrienmar Posts: 402	AH, then to the Inn shall Uien go, for she gave her word to return to those she left to commence this venture. __________________ Characters: Rosmarin: Lady of Cardolan; Lochared: Vagabond of Dunland; Simra: Daughter of Khand; Naiore: Lady of the Sweet Swan; Menecin: Bard of the Singing Seas; Vanwe: Lost Maiden; Ronnan: Lord of Thieves; and, Uien of the Twilight

06-03-2004, 02:56 AM	#5
piosenniel Desultory Dwimmerlaik Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Pickin' flowers with Bill the Cat..... Posts: 7,779	Esgallhugwen The game thread is now closed. Post your Elvish Lament here on the discussion thread and tell me which # post you want it put on. Please do that before Friday. I am moving the game to Elvenhome on Friday morning along with the Planning and Discussion threads. Once that is done, only the elvenhome moderator can place your post for you. ~*~ Pio __________________ Eldest, that’s what I am . . . I knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside.

06-05-2004, 08:40 PM	#6
Esgallhugwen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow Posts: 526	Grrrr. Sometimes I ask myself why? Then I remember if anything can go wrong it will go wrong! I would have had this up earlier but a storm, light on rain heavy on lightning decided to strike causing a power outage. I think I'll just go into my room where nothing too bad could possibly happen to me, and leave the social world for awhile, but thats impossible so I'll just have to deal with it. Can't wait till you guys start to tell the tale at the Green Dragon, too bad my character couldn't be there too, but she had more pressing matters, don't forget to mention her, please Here's the Lament, I used Italian for the words that didn't exist in elvish and improvised a little as well to make things work: Nairë an Lira (Lament for Lira) Lira Nen yassen si lei nórë? Là andavë sé Eryn Lasgalen var vanima Ithilien Lei dolce óma nira là na hlarë sé questi nórë ata Mi ormë rauma mandë denominato lei Ai! Quello lei hroa era rácina sé quello úro nómë Quello lei Fëa era incarcerato mi ungo Sé i mórnië i carnë rauco é venuto mal lei sfidato a lui A! Elbereth Gilthiniel! silvren penna miriel o menel aglar elenath, Gilthoniel, A! Elbereth! Lei órë era silmë ar isilmë Lei rinunciato ambar quando àra ortanë Ràsa chiamate, ninquë falassë a laica campi Tinda a laurë fiori ondeggiamento mi ëar hwesta Lindo lindë di lúcë Mai fare lei mírë hen na vaxë lacrimenen Lei fare nyényë lá lillor nyérë sé firima nórë Lá lil fare lei sentire i nwalya di anqualë Sérë sé sacro Aman, melda Lira Sérë si oallo i móta di Endor Mi nórë di oira lómë (Its a fairly rough translation, but I did my best, its probably botched to pieces though) __________________ "...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane"

05-30-2004, 06:03 PM	#4
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	Eswen and Lumiel, it's in my head that Lira's body, and Eswen and Lumiel, will not be there in the morning, and that Uien will know that they have left, and when, and any other details, etc. Sound good? If you haven't gotten back to me by tomorrow, that's what will be written, although I'm sure I can change it from that if you want.

06-06-2004, 02:02 AM	#7
piosenniel Desultory Dwimmerlaik Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Pickin' flowers with Bill the Cat..... Posts: 7,779	~~ To Elvenhome ~~

05-30-2004, 06:09 PM	#8
Esgallhugwen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow Posts: 526	Thanks for your input guys, it helps me continue with my work to know that other people like it! LMP your critiques are appreciated, I'll change those lines it sounds better with them, way more Elf like, more flowing. Ha, I guess those lines do sort of sound like a shampoo commercial. New Herbal Elves formula doesn't burn sensitive Elven eyes and keeps hair silky and clean when fighting orcs. Anyway, sounds good to me LMP, Eswen and Lumiel will more than likely be gone before the rest wake up. Now I have to start on the translation. __________________ "...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane"

05-30-2004, 06:42 PM	#9
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,066	Hmmm... I thought Finëwen was going to go with Eodwine! If she goes with Eswen and Lumiel instead, Eodwine is going to have something on his mind.....

05-30-2004, 06:46 PM	#10
Esgallhugwen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Where the Moon cries against the snow Posts: 526	whoops sorry I just edited it and got rid of Finewen, but if she does go it might make things interesting as to what Eodwine would want to do. We'll have to see what she thinks about it. __________________ "...for the sin of the idolater is not that he worships stone, but that he worships one stone over others. -8:9:4 The Witness of Fane"

06-01-2004, 01:59 AM	#11
piosenniel Desultory Dwimmerlaik Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Pickin' flowers with Bill the Cat..... Posts: 7,779	As littlemanpoet has put up the epilogue, I have closed the game to posting. I will leave the game in the Shire for a few days, should someone need to tweak a post. You can just leave a note for me here on this thread. Nice game everyone! ~*~ Pio __________________ Eldest, that’s what I am . . . I knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless - before the Dark Lord came from Outside.