Everything I need to know I learned from LOTR

[Etharius]

- A foil wrapped T-shirt proves to be very strong armour.
- Don't trust Theoden, he'll chop off the end of your spear.
- You will not recognise dwarves with their helmets off.
- Elves walk slower than snails when travelling West.
- Always keep a close eye on a Took.
- If you fare badly in battle, kill yourself. You will go to heaven.
- An Uruk Berserkers weakspot is...Its bollocks.
- Gunpowder weapons is the future.
- If you fancy a Elf in the kingdom over yonder, forget it.