Everything I need to know I learned from LOTR

[Miriel Undomiel]

1. Reading is FUN!
2. you have to be fast if you want to get your screen time. Arwen might take it.
3. If someone throws your ring into the lava pit in your 'garden', your 'house' will collapse.
4. When chopping wood, make sure the trees don't have any friends. They will attack you...

~*~Míriel~*~

[mark12_30]

-All you need is one climbing hobbit to mobilize two entire kingdoms.
-You can forgive a lot of plot-rearranging for first-rate cinematography.
-A dying Nazgul is fun to watch.
-Legolas can count too.
-Look, behind that banner! Elrond CAN smile.

[Maeggaladiel]

Heh heh! Good ones, guys!

- Hiding under a tree root will protect you from the all-seeing eye of Sauron and his Nasgul.

- If it's pale and greasy, it's probably evil. Unless it's Aragorn.

- Don't mind the voices in your head. It's just Galadriel having some fun.

- One arrow in the hands of Legolas can kill sixty orcs; one arrow in the hand of an orc is useless. (Ask Boromir.)

- Evil minions have three settings on their bows: "Stun," "Kill," and "Miss." They usually use the last setting to avoid lawsuits.

Keep 'em coming!

[Sirithheruwen]

Originally Posted by Maeggaladiel

- Evil minions have three settings on their bows: "Stun," "Kill," and "Miss." They usually use the last setting to avoid lawsuits.

On that breainwave...
They usually save the besst ("kill") for last. (Ask Boromir. Again.)

[Morai]

4. When chopping wood, make sure the trees don't have any friends. They will attack you...

I find that one very true. Why do you think there are so many treehuggers in Oregon? The trees have minds of their own. Anyways, here's some of my lessons learned:

1) If you have blonde hair, color changing eyes, good archery skills, can speak pretty elvish phrases, are graceful, and wear tight pants, you will always have a mob of teenyboppers chasing you.

2) Most short people with curly hair are hobbits that got drunk on ent-draught. Then they were so drunk that they managed to wax the hair of eachothers feet.

3) Never let your cousin drink in a bar if you want your identity to remain a secret.

4) Some jewelry just isn't worth the risk.

5) Always carry lembas when on a LONG hike.

[Saraphim]

~If you meet a girl who is willing to give up her immortality for you, she's a keeper.
~Never trust transparent guys in black cloaks riding black horses who can speak the black speech.
~If your uncle offers you a ring, say no.
~If a mysterious elf named Annatar offers you a ring, say no.

That's all I've got for now.

[purplefluffychainsaw]

1) If you have blonde hair, color changing eyes, good archery skills, can speak pretty elvish phrases, are graceful, and wear tight pants, you will always have a mob of teenyboppers chasing you.

Really? I'm settled then. Well, I'm not really all that graceful, but the rest I've got sorted. But that screws what I was going to say:

1) Grow your hair long, dye it blonde, get some false pointy ears and a bow. You'll ne'er need goo lookee for a girl e'er again.

But I still have:

2) When in the middle of the wilderness, and or a battle don't worry about your hair. 'Specially if it's long and blonde. ((Really? I wish.))


3) If you are under **Checks height scale** about 5" and don't posses pretty jewellry then you are automatically comedy relief.

4) don't worry about that great big army. Gandalf/Aragorn/the elves will come and help you.

5) (related to above) BUT they won't come until most of YOUR army is dead.

6) million to one chances *always* come through

7) Never walk into a flood. (Pay attention all you Nazgul at the back there!)

8) the elves can cure *anything*, even death **cougharagorncough**

9) Don't trust a slimy miget more then your best friend. Even if he has been through what you're going through.

10) Just becuase the elves say it doesn't mean it is true elvish.

Hmmm... That be all I can think of for now. But I'll be back! Oh!

11) Listen to the elves. Usually they know what they're doing. Yes, Isildur, that means you too.