New Movie Script - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Oddwen · 03-09-2004, 10:06 PM

Quite welcome, Elennar!

Glad you could use it.
Speaking of avatars, here is one that Nilp will enjoy especially...

(Hey, I'm watching FotR on tv! It's not supposed to be out until WB airs it later in the year??)

Scene: Henneth Annun

(Faramir is sitting and gazing dreamily off...some guy sneaks up behind him...)

Guy: M'lord...

Faramir: AHHHH!!

Guy: Jeez, sorry...just wanted to say that we found the creepy guy the short guys alluded to.

F: Oh...okay.

Frodo & Sam: Snxxxx....

Faramir: Yo, little dude...yeah, with the ring.

Sam: Me? You're not hoeing po-ta-toes this late at night, are you? They don't like moonlight. Why, I remember that one time me old Gaffer hoed them under a full moon, and they grew eyes! Just like you or me! They were very angry eyes, and right about then old Widow Willowbotton disappeared under suspicious circumstances, so the townsfolk all got their pitchforks and torches and were going to run us out of Hobbiton! But then the potatoes rose up on their stalks...

Faramir:

Frodo: Sam, he's not interested in that. Tell him about those gardenias that grew right into Petunia Barrelstaver's well!

Sam: Well, it all happened when...

Faramir: Um...much as I'd so love *gag* to hear about the gardenias, there is a pressing matter that needs your input.

Sam: Oh, really? Well, just let me slip my cloak on...

Faramir: No, dimwit, I need your much smarter master, not you.

Sam fans: Humph!

Frodo: *puffing out his little chest* OK!

(The two climb up many winding passages, until they are finally by the waterfall.)

Faramir: *pointing* Down there...

Frodo: Sorry, your nose was just framed there in the moonlight, and it looked so spectacular that I...

Faramir: JUST LOOK!

(Frodo does so...and he sees...LEGOLAS WASHING HIS HAIR! BWAW-HAW-HAW-er, I mean, Gollum eating a fish.)

(Faramir now gestures to archers in camoflage suits who were previously hidden.)

Faramir: Shall I shoot?

Frodo: No! These men should not be allowed to handle firearms! Haven't they heard of not shooting where the shot might bounce back at them? They aren't even wearing Hunter's Orange! This is in complete violation of the Hunter's Safety Code! *he waves a book around* I should report you...

Faramir: ALRIGHT, GUYS, CHANGE OF TARGET, IT IS NOW THE HOBBIT ON MY LEFT! READY...AIM...

Frodo: No! Let me go and read him his rights! Pleeeeeeeeeeze! I've wanted to do that ever since I saw COPS! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze! Pleeeeeeeeeze!

Faramir: AGH! Just go!

(Frodo climbs down the rock, muttering all the while about "rope".)

Gollum: Can't stop, addicted to the shindig...

Fro: Smeagol?

Gollum: Chop top, he says I'm gonna win big...

Fro: Smeagol!

Gollum: Choose not a life of imitation...oh hi Master! Care for some nice...fisssssh? . ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' .

Fro: Whoa, those really are some nice fish! Mmm, they look tasty, one might even say...crunchable!

Agitated Voice From Above: Get on with it!

Fro: *in a suddenly deep voice* You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.

Faramir: AGH! *he leaps from the bushes and lassoos Gollum*

Gollum: Hey, watch the fish! . ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' .

Faramir: Hey, wow, nice fish! So raw, and...wrr-rr-rr-rr-rriggling!

Sam: Would you guys like to be alone? C'mon, get this slinker up into the cave before I take my pan to yer heads!

F&F&G& >)))o> & >)))o>: Oh, okay...

(The reel rattles...Howard Shore can be heard cackling in the background...record-scraping sounds are heard and we re-appear in the Cave.)

Faramir: Hokey dokey, where were you leading them?

Gollum: Mordor.

Faramir: Oh, okay, well GREAT GAMBOLING GAMLING! Did you say...Mordor??

Gollum: No.

Smeagol: Yes.

Gollum:No.

Smeagol: Uh, we mean no.

Gollum: Last time we checked, Precious, we was heading this, not poor poor Smeagol.

Smeagol: But I sent you away, and away you went!

Gollum: *leaning into the camera and a cheesy Ah-nold voice* But we're back!

Faramir: Gleeps! He's snapped!

SmeaGollum: Hey, where's my fish??

*all gathered turn swiftly to Madril, who is sucking the last bone as we speak!*

Madril: Um...needs catsup?

Smeagollum: My...fish! AHHHHHHHGHHHHH!!!!

03-09-2004, 10:06 PM	#13
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,145	Quite welcome, Elennar! Glad you could use it. Speaking of avatars, here is one that Nilp will enjoy especially... (Hey, I'm watching FotR on tv! It's not supposed to be out until WB airs it later in the year??) Scene: Henneth Annun (Faramir is sitting and gazing dreamily off...some guy sneaks up behind him...) Guy: M'lord... Faramir: AHHHH!! Guy: Jeez, sorry...just wanted to say that we found the creepy guy the short guys alluded to. F: Oh...okay. Frodo & Sam: Snxxxx.... Faramir: Yo, little dude...yeah, with the ring. Sam: Me? You're not hoeing po-ta-toes this late at night, are you? They don't like moonlight. Why, I remember that one time me old Gaffer hoed them under a full moon, and they grew eyes! Just like you or me! They were very angry eyes, and right about then old Widow Willowbotton disappeared under suspicious circumstances, so the townsfolk all got their pitchforks and torches and were going to run us out of Hobbiton! But then the potatoes rose up on their stalks... Faramir: Frodo: Sam, he's not interested in that. Tell him about those gardenias that grew right into Petunia Barrelstaver's well! Sam: Well, it all happened when... Faramir: Um...much as I'd so love gag to hear about the gardenias, there is a pressing matter that needs your input. Sam: Oh, really? Well, just let me slip my cloak on... Faramir: No, dimwit, I need your much smarter master, not you. Sam fans: Humph! Frodo: puffing out his little chest OK! (The two climb up many winding passages, until they are finally by the waterfall.) Faramir: pointing Down there... Frodo: Sorry, your nose was just framed there in the moonlight, and it looked so spectacular that I... Faramir: JUST LOOK! (Frodo does so...and he sees...LEGOLAS WASHING HIS HAIR! BWAW-HAW-HAW-er, I mean, Gollum eating a fish.) (Faramir now gestures to archers in camoflage suits who were previously hidden.) Faramir: Shall I shoot? Frodo: No! These men should not be allowed to handle firearms! Haven't they heard of not shooting where the shot might bounce back at them? They aren't even wearing Hunter's Orange! This is in complete violation of the Hunter's Safety Code! he waves a book around I should report you... Faramir: ALRIGHT, GUYS, CHANGE OF TARGET, IT IS NOW THE HOBBIT ON MY LEFT! READY...AIM... Frodo: No! Let me go and read him his rights! Pleeeeeeeeeeze! I've wanted to do that ever since I saw COPS! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze! Pleeeeeeeeeze! Faramir: AGH! Just go! (Frodo climbs down the rock, muttering all the while about "rope".) Gollum: Can't stop, addicted to the shindig... Fro: Smeagol? Gollum: Chop top, he says I'm gonna win big... Fro: Smeagol! Gollum: Choose not a life of imitation...oh hi Master! Care for some nice...fisssssh? . ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' . Fro: Whoa, those really are some nice fish! Mmm, they look tasty, one might even say...crunchable! Agitated Voice From Above: Get on with it! Fro: in a suddenly deep voice You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Faramir: AGH! he leaps from the bushes and lassoos Gollum Gollum: Hey, watch the fish! . ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' .>)))o>. ' ` ' . Faramir: Hey, wow, nice fish! So raw, and...wrr-rr-rr-rr-rriggling! Sam: Would you guys like to be alone? C'mon, get this slinker up into the cave before I take my pan to yer heads! F&F&G& >)))o> & >)))o>: Oh, okay... (The reel rattles...Howard Shore can be heard cackling in the background...record-scraping sounds are heard and we re-appear in the Cave.) Faramir: Hokey dokey, where were you leading them? Gollum: Mordor. Faramir: Oh, okay, well GREAT GAMBOLING GAMLING! Did you say...Mordor?? Gollum: No. Smeagol: Yes. Gollum:No. Smeagol: Uh, we mean no. Gollum: Last time we checked, Precious, we was heading this, not poor poor Smeagol. Smeagol: But I sent you away, and away you went! Gollum: leaning into the camera and a cheesy Ah-nold voice But we're back! Faramir: Gleeps! He's snapped! SmeaGollum: Hey, where's my fish?? all gathered turn swiftly to Madril, who is sucking the last bone as we speak! Madril: Um...needs catsup? Smeagollum: My...fish! AHHHHHHHGHHHHH!!!! __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door Last edited by Oddwen; 03-09-2004 at 10:11 PM.