SPice for the Balrog-Wings Soup...(not seen this anywhere before)

[Hot, crispy nice hobbit]

Er, I SO know that I am gonna be burnt at the stake for this.

Why couldn't the so called Balrog wings be FINS?

"Long I fell, and he fell with me. His fire was about me. I was burned. Then we plunged into the deep water and all was dark.... His fire was quenched, but now he was a thing of slime, stronger than a strangling snake."

Okay, a Balrog, a spirit of Fire no less, fell into the water and was quenched. He definitely could swim, otherwise he would not have died at the top of the Mountain. Now, if Balrogs have huge wings like birds or bats, I don't suppose it would be easy for him to swim in the water. But flappers like those of a penguin or huge fins like those of a devil-fish definitely resemble wings, and they help those creatures swim underwater.

Counter: some sea birds can swim underwater with their wings.
My Answer (for the fun of it): Wings can help to swim for some birds, but fins and flappers are much better for swimming. Besides, isn't it Pippin's itchy fingers with the stone thrown at the well that made the Balrog notice? He may have been knocked on the head while swimming underneath, and was SO peeved that he rushed all the way up to address the wrong. Note that he did not FLY up.

One other point for Balrogs to have FINS is that they are the servant of the Sadistic Biology Professor, Morgoth. Morgoth, throwing contempt at everything that looks cool, decided to further debase the Order of Maia by making embarressing FINs for the majestic spirits of Fire that have followed him. This may be the second vilest deed of Melkor, after the creation of the Orcs...

Balrog to orcs: You guys keep a look out while I go for a dip.
One orc to another: Da boss's feeling fishy today...