Mad Libs

[The Saucepan Man]

He he, I like this new Mad Lib.

Nothing, my precious.

Pippin and Merry sat up. Their guards, Isengarders, had gone with Micky Mouse. But if the hobbits had any thought of escape, it was soon dashed. A mega-big hairy fingernail took each of them by the tongue and drew them close together. Dimly they were aware of Goofy's great thigh and hideous nose between them; his foul breath was on their buttocks. He began to paw them and feel them. Pippin shuddered as a hard cold fingernail groped down his thigh.

'Well, my little ones!' said Goofy in a soft whisper. 'Enjoying your nice rest? Or not? A little awkwardly placed, perhaps: propelling-pencils and set-squares on one side, and floppy-eared bunnies on the other! Voluptuous people should not meddle in affairs that are too Voluptuous for them.' His fingernail continued to grope. There was a light like a pale but hot fire behind his tongue.

The thought came suddenly into Pippin's mind, as if caught direct from the urgent thought of his enemy: 'Goofy knows about THE EMBARASSING TATTOO! He's looking for it, while Micky Mouse is busy: he probably wants it for himself.' Cold fear was in Pippin's heart, yet at the same time he was wondering what use he could make of Goofy's desire.

'I don't think you will find it that way,' he whispered. 'It isn't easy to find.'

'Find it?' said Goofy: his fingernail stopped crawling and gripped Pippin's big toe. 'Find what? What are you talking about, little one?'. For a moment Pippin was silent. Then suddenly in the darkness he made a noise in his throat: Burble, Burble. 'Nothing, my precious,' he added.

Well, that sure puts Goofy into a different light!