Funniest Lines

[Calenamarthiel]

This is quite an enjoyable thread to read through. Thought I'd add some other funny lines. <P>---------------------------<P>Gandalf: Confound it all, Samwise Gangee, have you been eavesdropping again?<P>Sam: I wasn't dropping no eaves sir, honest. I was only cutting the grass under the window there, if you get my meaning.<P>Gandalf: A little late for trimming the verge, don't you think?<P>Sam: I heard raised voices.<P>Gandalf: What did you hear? Speak!<P>Sam: Well, nothing important. That is I heard a great deal about a ring, a dark lord, and something about the end of the world. Please Mr. Gandalf sir, don't hurt me. Don't turn me into anything. . . unnatural.<P>The expressions on Sam's face during this whole exchange were hilarious.<P>-------------------------------<P>Gimli: Well, here's one dwarf she won't ensnare so easily. I have the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox!<P>Haldir: The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark.<P>-------------------------------<P>I also found this exchange rather funny:<P>Pippin: It's talking, Merry. The tree is talking.<P>Treebeard: Tree? I am no tree. I am an Ent.<P>Merry: A tree-herder. A shepherd of the forest.<P>Pippin: Don't talk to it, Merry. Don't encourage it.<P>Treebeard: Treebeard some call me.<P>Pippin: And. . . whose side are you on?<P>----------------------------<P>Gimli: What's happening out there?<P>Legolas: Shall I describe it to you, or would you like me to find you a box?<P>It's a good thing they were already friends by then, else Legolas wouldn't have gotten away with that one.<P>-----------------------------------<P>Gimli: (trying on a coat of chain mail) They should try and get this adjusted. It's a little tight across the chest.<P>Aragorn's and Legolas' expressions were actually as funny as Gimli's disgruntled one.<P>-----------------------------------<P>Gollum/Slinker: Master's our friend.<P>Gollum/Stinker: You don't have any friends. Nobody likes you.<P>This one had most of the people in the theatre cracking up.<P>------------------------------<P>Faramir: Your bodyguard?<P>Sam: His gardener.<P>------------------------------<P>Gimli: Come on, we can take them!<P>Aragorn: It's a long way.<P>Gimli: (considering) Toss me.<P>Aragorn: What?<P>Gimli: I cannot jump the distance. You have to toss me.<P>(Aragorn makes to toss him)<P>Gimli: Don't tell the elf.<P>Aragorn: Not a word.<P>Nice acting by Viggo right there. He looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh in the middle of a battle they were about to lose.<P>--------------------------------<P>Gimli: Legolas! Two already!<P>Legolas: I'm on seventeen!<P>Gimli: Argh! I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me!<P>Legolas: Nineteen!<P>I'd have to agree with Rochelle, however, that in the book Gimli does beat Legolas by one orc, 42-41. Close fight! <P>--------------------------------<P>Legolas: (To Aragorn) You're late. You look terrible.<P>Something about his stating the obvious makes it so funny.<P>--------------------------------<P>Gimli: (to Eowyn, concerning dwarf women) In fact, we look so much alike, that they're often mistaken for dwarf men.<P>Aragorn: (to Eowyn) It's the beard.<P>Gimli: This in turn has given rise to the belief that there <B>are</B> no dwarf women, and that dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground. Which is of course ridiculous.<P>Well, there are still a lot of other lines I can think of, but I'd better end this before I take up any more space. Thanks again for starting such an enjoyable thread, GaladrieloftheOlden. <p>[ March 19, 2003: Message edited by: Calenamarthiel ]