The White Horse Inn, Act II

[Thenamir]

"You just missed our dear Miss Bethberry," Laevin replied, "she was at our table just a moment before you walked in. Which reminds me, she'd asked me to join in the tale telling, and it seems like an opportune moment."

The crowd had just finished applauding a fine short tale told by another of the many visitors to the inn that night, but as yet no one had stepped up to continue the festivity. Laevin saw his chance and took it. He picked up a stringed instrument from one of the band members and smiled to the rest, "You all know Dwarf and Orc don't you?" They nodded their assent, and Laevin announced to the crowd, "We've not yet had a good sing-along, so let's hear some good clappin' and stompin'! Dwarf and Orc everyone!!" And with that there went up a cheer as Laevin pounded the rhythm into the floor and the band followed his lead.

Orc was crouched on the cavern floor
And kept an eye on the oaken door
For many a night he'd watched it close
To see who might appear.
Oh dear! See him leer?
He's clutching a mighty spear!

Orc was guarding a mighty stash
And any who'd come he'd have to slash
For stacked on high in the cavern behind
Were kegs of goblin beer
Oh dear! To his rear
The Goblin King kept all his beer!

Dwarf was thirsty as he crawled
To the oaken door on the cliff face wall
His nose had caught the scent of ale
Oh what a sweet sensation.
Elation! Fixation!
He's found the Goblin's libation.

Chorus:
Dwarf and Orc
A battle not worth telling
Spear or cork
With which should ye be assailing
Just pop a dwarf on the head with a cork
And see if his axe don't sing!
Just take that axe upon yer skull
And see if yer head don't ring!

With his axe he smote the place
But no surprise on the Goblin's face
Whilst guarding he'd just helped himself
And drank all the Goblin King's brew
Oh boo! What to do?
He's got himself into a stew!

The door came crashing in on Orc
Who'd traded his spear for a beer to uncork
His drunken smile was soon replaced
As Dwarven axe did cleave that face
What a case - of disgrace
The dwarf was king of the place

So in the dark he felt around
But nothing intact was to be found
The bottles smashed, the kegs all dry
The orc had drunk the lot
Found it not! Such a sot!
And deserving of what he had got!

Chorus:
Dwarf and Orc
A battle not worth telling
Spear or cork
With which should ye be assailing
Just pop a dwarf on the head with a cork
And see if his axe don't sing!
Just take that axe upon yer skull
And see if yer head don't ring!

(Click here to download and hear the song!!)

The crowd livened up considerably during the song, and by the end even the children were rooting for the dwarf. Long and loud was the applause as Laevin finished the tune with a flourish and handed the lute back to the surprised owner. He only took a brief bow before heading back to his table. Hands from the crowd slapped him on the back as he passed, and he smiled. It was nice to be able to play once in awhile.

"Well, now I've satisfied the innkeeper, I hope. I could use another jog of ale after that. Singin's hard on the throat," he said, winking at his two table-mates.

[ July 09, 2003: Message edited by: Thenamir ]