Special News: The land of Modor

[good idea at the time]

Thank you all for your concern over Saruman's treachery. It's wonderful to know that I have such a vigilant staff. I have spoken via Palantir with my "dear friend", who was once known as the White Wizard. He claimed that he fully intended (of course) to send all revenue to our way and was only looking out for the best interests of this park. Pitiful fool forgot that I taught him how to lie.

Because of the quick action of the Teleri the Ents have already devastated most of his park, and Mithrandir, who is usually a pain in the...eye... has dealt with Saruman himself. It seems that Saruman also double-crossed the Istari and broke a contract with them.

Not only that, but it seems he wasn't having much luck with hobbits -- our prime marketing targes -- even while he was in business. He had to send Uruk-Hai to kidnap to of them just to get them to come and they got away! At least one of them is still in the area however. I've sent Stewart to apprend him and er...show him around our superior park.

Many thanks to all of you for reporting this to me! Keep this up and you'll all get raises!


-The Misunderstood Lord Sauron


P.S. Our new restaraunt will also be offering vegetarian alternatives to Mumakil bugers so as not to offend some of my most loyal employees.