LotR Merchandice you WANT to see...but probably won't...

[One Axe to Rule them All]

What about a "Idiots guide to learning elvish"

or "The dummy's guide to sindarin"

or "How to control the one ring for dummies"

something like that

and i'd like a suit of sauron's armor

and the mace that sauron used in TFOTR, that does the shockwave thingie that really works

and some of that entwash, like mouthwash, but it makes you taller!