LOTR merchandise we never want to see - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Kalimac · 11-03-2002, 01:48 AM

Legolas Shampoo & Hairspray Bathroom Beauty Set (Look perfect in EVERY situation, even when your workplace is just murder).

Elessar Electric Razor - When You Want The Look of the Rugged Outdoors, Think Stubble.

Drogo Boats! The inflatable, hobbit-sized canoes - the kiddies will love it!

Sam Gamgee-endorsed pans - When Sam Returns To Mordor, This Time He'll Bring Allclad.

Hands of A Healer scented candles - "Now have the reviving scent of kingsfoil in your own home. Guaranteed to provide new energy that even your aromatherapist couldn't give you!"

Gollum's Diet Cookbook - a fascinating collection of eclectic recipes, involving no chemicals, preservatives, or genetically enhanced components. Lose weight and feel great with simple yet satisfying recipes for sushi and tastefully undercooked rabbits, and discover the best-kept secret in weight loss - goblin meat! Get a full refund if you're not calling this book "Precioussss" within 30 days.

And, of course ...

The Palantir 8-Ball.

Enough. I don't know...maybe I should switch back to decaffeinated tea.

11-03-2002, 01:48 AM	#2
Kalimac Candle of the Marshes Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Flyover Country Posts: 780	Legolas Shampoo & Hairspray Bathroom Beauty Set (Look perfect in EVERY situation, even when your workplace is just murder). Elessar Electric Razor - When You Want The Look of the Rugged Outdoors, Think Stubble. Drogo Boats! The inflatable, hobbit-sized canoes - the kiddies will love it! Sam Gamgee-endorsed pans - When Sam Returns To Mordor, This Time He'll Bring Allclad. Hands of A Healer scented candles - "Now have the reviving scent of kingsfoil in your own home. Guaranteed to provide new energy that even your aromatherapist couldn't give you!" Gollum's Diet Cookbook - a fascinating collection of eclectic recipes, involving no chemicals, preservatives, or genetically enhanced components. Lose weight and feel great with simple yet satisfying recipes for sushi and tastefully undercooked rabbits, and discover the best-kept secret in weight loss - goblin meat! Get a full refund if you're not calling this book "Precioussss" within 30 days. And, of course ... The Palantir 8-Ball. Enough. I don't know...maybe I should switch back to decaffeinated tea. __________________ Father, dear Father, if you see fit, We'll send my love to college for one year yet Tie blue ribbons all about his head, To let the ladies know that he's married.