101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say

[the guy who be short]

Aragorn: i will tell you the lay of jil-jalad
Frodo: who was jil-jalad?
Aragorn:
Jil-jalad was an elven guy
from him the bakers made a pie
a pie that had a nice thick crust
to see it was to for it lust

its crust was thick, its base was deep
it was enough to make one weep
the thousand starts in heavens sky
were nothing compared to this succulent pie

but long ago it passed away
what happened to it? none can say
some say twas eaten by some guy
thus came the end of this succulent pie

frodo: It's so moving...