101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Aosama, the Wandering Star · 05-02-2002, 09:49 PM

Inspired by the "Pillow Fight" sorry, forgot posters name, me bad [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] hope this post makes up for it!
(Setting: Battle of Pelennor Fields, Eowyn's just done her whole "But no living man am I!" speech, but she hasn't killed any winged steeds of evil. yet.)
Merry(taps Witch-King on the back): Um, excuse me, dude, but your flying horse.. skinny bird.. thing.. is really scaring my friends, so, um, y'know, if you could just...
Witch-King: Just what? Just move? Just get out of your way? That's all anyone ever says to me! Not even Sauron or the other Nazgul appreciate me! *bursts into tears* Nazgul have feelings to y'know! I feel... so alone, so unwanted! I'm just doin' my job, y'know? And all these people trying to kill me and all? *turns to Merry* y'know what I mean?
Merry(sympathetically): I'm so sorry, man, I just had no idea... (puts arm around Witch-King) But it'll be okay, right? You'll make some friends, right?
Witch-King: *sniff* do you know of any singles bar that allows me through the door without screamin' or tryin' to kill me?
Merry: Well, I'm always here for you!
Audience: Aww!
Witch-King (wipes eyes): Thanks hobbit dude!
Eowyn (throws down sword in disgust): Ugh! How am I supposed to kill anybody with these two sentimental schmucks in the way? *turns around, starts walking* I'm gonna go play with my Barbies! This is no fun anymore!
Merry: Uh, Eowyn, Rohan is that way (points in opposite direction)
Eowyn: ARGH! (turns around, goes in other direction). I'm telling my Uncle!

[ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: Aosama, the Wandering Star ]

05-02-2002, 09:49 PM	#11
Aosama, the Wandering Star Wight Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle-Earth Posts: 210	Inspired by the "Pillow Fight" sorry, forgot posters name, me bad [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] hope this post makes up for it! (Setting: Battle of Pelennor Fields, Eowyn's just done her whole "But no living man am I!" speech, but she hasn't killed any winged steeds of evil. yet.) Merry(taps Witch-King on the back): Um, excuse me, dude, but your flying horse.. skinny bird.. thing.. is really scaring my friends, so, um, y'know, if you could just... Witch-King: Just what? Just move? Just get out of your way? That's all anyone ever says to me! Not even Sauron or the other Nazgul appreciate me! bursts into tears Nazgul have feelings to y'know! I feel... so alone, so unwanted! I'm just doin' my job, y'know? And all these people trying to kill me and all? turns to Merry y'know what I mean? Merry(sympathetically): I'm so sorry, man, I just had no idea... (puts arm around Witch-King) But it'll be okay, right? You'll make some friends, right? Witch-King: sniff do you know of any singles bar that allows me through the door without screamin' or tryin' to kill me? Merry: Well, I'm always here for you! Audience: Aww! Witch-King (wipes eyes): Thanks hobbit dude! Eowyn (throws down sword in disgust): Ugh! How am I supposed to kill anybody with these two sentimental schmucks in the way? turns around, starts walking I'm gonna go play with my Barbies! This is no fun anymore! Merry: Uh, Eowyn, Rohan is that way (points in opposite direction) Eowyn: ARGH! (turns around, goes in other direction). I'm telling my Uncle! [ May 02, 2002: Message edited by: Aosama, the Wandering Star ]