Middle Earth Answering Machine Messages

[Diamond18]

I liked this one too:

(BILL): "Neigh! You've reached Bill the Pony's Transportation services. Let's cut to the chase. I don't do mountains, swamps, rivers, blasted landscapes, orc-invested lands, mines ... and most especially entrances TO mines. Phobias include abandonment in treacherous places and really big octopus-like creatures that live in murky lakes. I'm loyal, reliable, and incredibly good-natured considering some traumatic moments in my life ... but if you're looking for lightening speed and pretty-boy looks, you've neighed up the wrong Equus caballus. Contact Shadowfax at TooSwiftTooBeBelieved Inc.. If you have dwarf in tow, ask for Arod. Otherwise, leave a message, and I might consider giving you a whinney back."

Hmm, now as to one of mine own...*cracks knuckles*

(Pippin): "Hello, you have reached the Took residence. I am unable to come to the phone right now because I am either traipsing through a marish, stuck in a willow tree, lying in a barrow-down dressed in a white slip, ignoring maps at Rivendell, throwing stones down a well, being dragged across the plains of Rohan by Uruk-hai, sitting out an Entmoot, waiting on a psychotic pyromaniac, or being squished by a troll. If this is an emergency and you must contact me immediatly, call 1-666-Palantír, and I may get to you before the Eye does."

Oh whatever. At least I tried.

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]