Imagine this.......

[Celebmornie]

The quest had been over for 10 years and they throw a fellowship party! What do you think it would be like?

[VanimaEdhel]

Only ten years? Okay...I'll give a little dialogue...

Scene: Only Gandalf is there. Sam walks in with 3 of his children...
Sam: Well! I've arri-
One of his children: Daddy! Daddy! Is this your frie-
Another one of his children: Daddy! I want some food!
Another: And gimme candy!
Sam: Where are your manne-
Child #1: These are your friends right? Where's Master Gim-
Child #2: Where's the food?
Child #3: Caaaaaandy! Me want caaaaandy!
Gandalf: *leans over* My, my, what have we here?
Child #3: Do you have candy?
Gandalf: *ruffles the child's hair* There'll be food enough soon!
Legolas and Gimli walk in.
Legolas: No! "Yrch" is Elvish for "Orcs"!
Gimli: Then just say "Orcs"!
Legolas: Why should I? I speak a far fairer tongue!
Gimli: I'll give you a faire-
Child #1: Gimliiiiiiiiiiiiii! Is that Gimliiiiiiiiiiii?
Gimli: *spins around* Samwise!
Sam: Gimli!
Legolas: Samwise!
Sam: Legolas!
They all run and embrace
Legolas: Samwise! It's so good to see-
Child #1: *runs in and breaks up the embrace* Giiiiiimli! It's Giiiiiiiimli! You're my favoritest, Gimli!
Gimli: Bah! Who are you?
Child #3: *Pulls on Legolas's sleeve* Mister Elf? Do you have candy?
Legolas: I am sorry, no...
Aragorn and Arwen enter
Legolas: King Elessar!
Aragorn: Legolas!
Child #2: Do you have food?
Aragorn: Huh?
Merry and Pippin enter.
Merry: Well! We made it! The kings both gave us some time off!
Child #3: Master Merriadoc! Master Perigrin! You must have caaaaaandyyyyyy!
Pippin: Yes, I do, actually, here! *gives Child #3 some candy*
Child #3: Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandy!
Child #2: Hey! Gimme some! *the 2 begin to fight*
Merry: So, how has everyone bee-
Child #1: I can't believe it's Giiiiiiimliiiiii! *hugs Gimli*
Gimli: Bah! Hey! Watch the beard.
Legolas begins to laugh.
Gimli: *pries the child off* Here! You take it then! *the child clings to Legolas*
Legolas: Aiya! Elbereth Gilthoniel! Let go! You're wrinkling my tunic!
Child #2: Gimme the candy!
Child #3: But it's miiiiiiiine! *Child #2 wrenches the candy from #3's hands*
Child #3: Daaaaaaaaaaddyyyyyyyyyy!
Sam: Give it back!
Child #2: But Daddy...
Sam: You heard me!
Child #2: Oh...okay...*pouts and gives the candy back*
Pippin: Do not fear, little one! I have more! *hands some candy to Child #2*
Child #2: Thank yoooouuuuu! *eats the candy and latches onto Pippin...both Legolas and Pippin wrench the childrens' arms off from around their waists and the children run and begin to wrestle with Child #3*
Sam: Where is Frodo?
Frodo: *walks in wearily* Here I am, Sam.
Sam: Master Frodo! *embraces him gently* Are you all right?
Frodo: *smiles weakly* I am afraid I will never be again, Sam...
Sam: *tears coming to his eyes* I-I'm so s-sorry Mister Frodo...I really am...
Frodo: Fret not Sam! Look at your beatiful children!
All 3 Children: Froooodoooooo! *all run and embrace him, then let go*
Child #2: What's wrong, Daddy?
Sam: N-nothing children, run off and play!
All 3: OKAY!!! *run off and play*
Frodo: Where's Rosie, Sam?
Sam: She had another gathering of her old friends she went to...
Frodo: Oh...okay...
A ghostly shade floats in...it's Boromir!
All of the others, except Gandalf: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!
Gandalf: Boromir! My old friend! You made it!
Boromir: Let's cut to the chase, is the ring really gone?
Gandalf: Yes, it is...
Boromir: GAH! No! Oh...oh well...I'll stay...there'll be food right?
Child #2: Did you say fooooooooooooood?
Legolas: Yes, there should be...

This carries on for a while, then they say their "namarie"'s and take their leave of each other...

[Elven Mistress]

That was HILARIOUS, VanimaEdhel!!!!!!!

Here's my attempt....

(Empty room, only Merry, Pippin, and Sam are there)

Merry: So where is everyone?
Pippin: Aye! This is my third pint and there still is no one to join us!
Sam: Well, Mr. Frodo did go over the sea, and Gandalf with him.
Merry: And Boromir past away, and I haven't seen Aragorn for the longest time.
Pippin: I'm getting another pint! *jumps off chair, goes to bar*
Sam: Gimli and Legolas are obviously off somewhere frolocking through the woods...
Pippin *yelling from across the room*: Anyone want anything?!
*Merry and Sam ignore him*
Pippin *muttering to self*: Fine, party-poopers, I'll just drink it all myself! *sniffling, walks over to table, calmly sits down, places mug on table* So...where is everyone?

--I know, i know! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] --

[Celebmornie]

Hehehehe! Those are good! Anyone else?

[NazgulNumberTen]

they all get high on leaf and aragorn ends up hitting on his sister...

[Diamond18]

Aragorn didn't have a sister. Silly you.
Well, here's my go at it....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A bit o' setting for you: The WR ended in S.R. 1419, so I'll say it's 1429. Sam has five children, Pippin has married Diamond of Long Cleeve and she's pregnant with Faramir. Merry is married to Estella Bolger. Frodo and Gandalf have gone over to Valinor already.

(Yes, I looked in the Appendices for this info).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam and Rose enter with their passel of kids. Enter Pippin and Diamond. Enter Merry and Estella. The kids go off and play.

Merry: "So, what are you going to name the little one?"

Pippin: "If it’s a boy, we’re going to name him Faramir, if it’s a girl, Éowyn."

Merry: "You can’t do that...I get to name my daughter Éowyn."

Pippin: "Says who?"

Merry: "I saved her life, I name my daughter after her. What did you ever do?"

Pippin: "I saved Faramir’s life!"

Merry: "So name your kid Faramir!"

Pippin: "I can’t name it Faramir if it’s a girl!"

Merry: "Why not Faramira or Faramirette?"

By this time, of course, Rose, Diamond and Estella’s eyes have all glazed over because, like typical hobbits, they never bothered to listen to anything about the War of the Ring. Sam comes to the rescue by changing the subject.

Sam: "Well, that's it for us hobbits...let's see, Aragorn will be coming from Gondor, Legolas from Ithilien, and Gimli from the Glittering Caves in Rohan."

Merry: "I'll bet you a bag of pipeweed that Legolas gets here first, followed by Gimli, and then Aragorn."

Sam: "I'll take you up on that."

Pippin: "Where is here anyway?"

Sam: "Some room in Rivendell. Don't trouble yourself with details."

Aragorn and Arwen enter

Aragorn: "Greetings!"

Merry: "Drat."

Arwen: "Well that's a nice reception!"

Gimli and Legolas enter together

Merry: "Double drat."

Gimli: "Whoa, where did all the kids come from? I haven't seen this many kids...all my life come to think of it." His tone implies that's he's not thrilled about all the kids present

Merry (still upset about the bet): "That, my friend, is because Dwarves are losers and can’t get wives."

Gimli brandishes sword: "Say it again and I’ll cut off your wooly head!"

Rose: "Not in front of the children!"

Legolas: "Orcs!"

Gimli: "What? Where?"

Legolas: "Just kidding."

Diamond: "Am I the only who finds this party painfully dull?"

Pippin goes over to the bar: "Look, everyone, it comes in pints!"

Aragorn: "Of course it does. That was one of the decrees I made...that every bar should serve ale in pints."

Arwen: "Before now, Rivendell didn’t even have a bar, you know.

Sam: "Well, that’s a real eye opener, and no mistake!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, I could continue, but I won't, because I'm sure my alter ego isn't the only one who finds this party painfully dull. Oh, well, it seemed funnier when I was looking at the appendix and got the idea. Thanks for reading the whole thing, anyway. [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

[ October 12, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Celebmornie]

I am gonna die of laughter!!! I thought that was extreamly funny!

[Kalimac]

Faramirette? Urgh, that would be one disturbed little girl [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img] . Good thing it was a boy after all.

[The scene is set in one of those nice scenic half outdoors/half indoors rooms in Rivendell. Sam, and Rose are there - sorry, it looks like they wisely left their offspring at home with the Gaffer and Widow Rumble - they are sitting with Merry. They're sitting on furniture which is rather big for them and looking slightly awkward].

Sam (walking over to a balcony and looking at the sundial in the courtyard below]: Mr. Merry, you wouldn't have any idea when Mr. Pippin and the rest are going to arrive, do you? It's getting on towards dinner and we couldn't start without them.

Merry: Good grief, Sam, please stop calling me Mr. Merry. It doesn't feel right coming from the Mayor. I feel like I should be calling you Mr. Samwise in return, and that really sounds wrong.

Sam: All right, then, Merry - do you know where Pippin is?

[Enter Pippin, accompanied by Diamond, who is just beginning to show]

Pippin: We're here, we're here! Haven't missed any meals, have we? Is there anything to drink? Diamond's a bit tired, she could use a little freshener.

Merry: Hello, Pip! Here, I've got some miruvor which Elladan gave me this morning, it'll be just the thing for her.

Pippin: Miruvor?

Sam: You remember, the stuff old Mr. Gandalf gave us back when we were all trying to get over Caradhras.

Pippin: Oh, that! Yes, that would be wonderful. Can't think how I ever forgot it. Here love, try some of Merry's miruvor, you'll be fit as a fiddle in a moment.

Diamond: *What* is in this? I never heard of it.

Merry: Uh, uh, something...Elvish.

Sam: Elves are wonderful folk, Mistress Diamond. Any of their food'll put the heart back into you in a moment.

Diamond: Goodness knows why I should believe that, you all looked queer and thin enough when you came back all that time ago. Did Elvish food do that to you?

Rose: Are you saying my Sam's being deceitful? I'd drink that there miruvor before I'd drink any of those brews you make up, gentlehobbit or no gentlehobbit.

Diamond: Really? Peregrin, how can you let her talk to me like that, and in my condition?

Rose: I know more about being in your condition that you ever will!

Diamond: [gasp]

Pippin: Please ladies, please. [grabs Diamond lovingly by the elbows, while Sam puts his arm around Rose, who glowers]. Say, Merry, why don't you just give me some of that miruvor if nobody else wants it. [Takes several long drinks - as he's wiping his mouth a light rustling sound is heard and then a heavy thump. They look up and Legolas and Gimli are standing in the doorway].

Legolas: Well met again, my friends! But why so glum? My fearless brother Gimli and I [Gimli snorts] had thought to find warmth, cheer and refreshment, but here you all sit in a sulk. Is not the Shadow departed from Middle-Earth these ten years? Let us be merry!

Merry: I think you'd rather not be me right now, actually, I made a bit of a bloomer with Elladan's miruvor. Diamond here - Mrs. Took - didn't want any and there have - been - a few words.

Gimli: Ar, well, Elvish work does have that effect on the unaccustomed. [Slings pack off of his shoulder] How about some good Dwarvish beer?

[All hobbits react enthusastically. Legolas sighs and reaches for his own private bottle of Dorwinion Wine. After a few minutes of beer, Rose and Diamond are chatting companionably, and Sam and Pippin are getting the roast onto the spit for supper].

Merry: So, what's with you two lately?

Gimli: Not too much. Lord of the Glittering Caves is a great job but after a while it all gets to be too much paper-pushing and not enough hewing and smiting.

Legolas: They're one of the biggest tourist attractions in the region these days.

Gimli: Yeah, all those Rohirrim and Easterlings and Southrons all want to see them now. Did they care before? Of course not. But now that it's the site of a historic battle, they all want to come traipsing around. "See the Glittering Caves! See where Good King Theoden of Blessed Memory escaped during the historic battle." Not that most of them weren't good and sick of Theoden when he was alive - meaning no disrespect - but now that he's part of history they can't get enough. And they all want a share in the profits.

Legolas: Impossible to believe, but we actually saw a few Uruk-Hai the other day. Eru himself knows where they'd been hiding, but they came up to us, foul reeking creatures that they are, and demanded a share of the total profits accumulated by charging admission! They were at Helm's Deep - they said - and they claimed that without the Orcs, there would have been no battle and therefore no tourist attaction. Of course, Gimli and I got rid of them quickly enough.

Gimli: Ah, that we did [Eyes gleam as he pats his axe sentimentally].

Merry: So, not much going, really.

Gimli: Frankly, no. If those Uruk-Hai hadn't come in I probably would have broken my pen in half out of sheer frustration.

Merry: I know the feeling. I'm Master of Buckland these days - the old hobbit passed on a few years ago - and it's a good life, nice and quiet and comfortable, enough to do and all that, but I still can't help wondering if there's something else I could be doing.

Legolas: Have you a wife? Much comfort can be derived from companionship.

Merry: No, though Pip and Sam do, and they seem happy enough. I don't know, though. There's a hobbit-lass I'm rather fond of - Estella's her name - but I can't help thinking that if I marry her she'll turn into another Diamond. "Wipe your feet on the mat, Merry!" "Goodness, Merry, are you drinking that awful miruvor again?" "Meriadoc Brandybuck, don't you roll your eyes when I'm talking to you!" Come on, I didn't hide under Eowyn's cloak and confront the Witch-King so I could come home and put up with that kind of thing.

Legolas: Well, I would not give up so easily. What of fair Arwen Evenstar? Surely she did not become a common scold upon being wed. Why should this Estella change if she is not so now?

[a sudden blast of trumpets. A herald enters and announces "King Elessar and Queen Arwen of Gondor!" They enter, richly arrayed, then motion to the herald to leave].

ALL: Strider! Good heavens, I wouldn't have known you without the beard!

Arwen: See, Elfstone? I *told* you you looked much better without it.

[Elessar smiles and shakes his head, giving a "what do you do" look to everyone else].

Merry: A little more beer, Gimli? Legolas, you were saying?

[CURTAIN].

OK, best I could do at the spur of the moment. Thanks for reading [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img].

[Arwen1858]

nice job, Kalimac! I enjoyed that!
Arwen

[Diamond18]

Legolas: ...Let us be merry!

Merry: I think you'd rather not be me right now, actually.

Can you tell I liked your post, Kalimac? You had me laughing out loud from beginning to end. (The above line was my favorite part.)

Think Faramirette is bad? How does Faramirine, Faramiriel, Faramirien, or Faramirwen strike you? [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[ October 27, 2002: Message edited by: Diamond18 ]

[Kalimac]

Thanks, Diamond and Arwen [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] . BTW Faramiriel sounds very nice, so if Pippin and Diamond of Long Cleeve ever have a daughter (one not listed in the genealogies) he can prove his devotion to Faramir twice over [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img].

I'm not sure why Diamond (the wife, not you, Diamond18) turned out to be so cranky, though it's true that being in a delicate condition will do that to you. And it's too bad Frodo and Gandalf couldn't make a cameo, but couldn't really figure out a way to bring them in long-distance, unless Galadriel conveniently dropped her mirror off at Rivendell before departing (though it would be awkward not knowing if you were seeing the actual Frodo or just your fears/hopes for him).

[charly]

Lol.I loved those.
I don´t really have a whole plot, only a mad impression of Legolas showing everyone how to dance "The Ketchup Song". You know that wierd Spanish/English thing?Most Europeans should. And just imagine the Fellowship dancing it. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

That Would be funny!

[Dûrlossiel]

"The Ketchup Song"? [img]smilies/confused.gif[/img] (Sorry, I'm not European, though I'd like to visit sometime.)

Those are very good [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] I really enjoyed reading them.

[Daewen]

Ok...here's my go at it...

Sam: *busteling about the kitchen* I've got the ale, the whiskey, the beer, the mead, the wine, the champaign, and the vodka...but I think I'm forgetting something. But what? I've got all the alchahol in the shire. It seem's I have all that I need...

Rosie: *walking in* Food darling. You forgot food.

Sam: Oh! Right! Food! That stuff that you eat...when you're not traveling halfway accross the planet to the home of the dark lord with a master who obviously doesn't share the affection you feel toward him and a whiny two faced bug eyed green blob! *scowls*

Roise: You had feelings for dear old Master Frodo?!

Sam: *back to his normal good natured self* No of course not, dearest, where on Earth would you get a silly notion like that?

Rosie: You just said...

Pippin: *coming in suddenly and cutting her off* Sam!! I'm here! Guess what?! Diamond's pregnant! I never understood it before, but now I know why you had all those kids...

Sam: *looking rather abashed* Rosie and decided to have kids because we wanted them and we love them and...

Merry: *bursting in* Hello everyone! I've arrived!!

Merry Gamgee (sam's second son) *in a really rushed breathless voice*: Master Merry! Hi! guess what, I'm named after you and I think you're really cool and I want to be just like to and pull pranks and steal vegetables and drink alot because my dad said you did all of that when you were my age! Did you do that Merry, did ya, huh, did ya? *gives him a big hug and doesn't let go*

Merry (trying to pry him off): Um...hello...

Legolas and Gimli *coming in together*: Hello everyone!

Merry *still trying to pull the kid off*: Hello Legolas, Gimli.

Gimli: Who's the runt?

Merry: Sam's son...I think he likes me...

Merry G *babbling really fast again*: Like you?! Of course I like you! You're my hero ya know, because you do cool stuff like take mushrooms from farmer maggot and swim in the Brandywine river even though my dad says that a hobbit swimming is "right crazy" and you're the master of Buckland and you're not married or have any kids, because I don't want any kids because they're really annoying, don't ya think Merry?!

Merry: Yes...I do...

[Rynoah, the Overly-Happy]

The remainder of the Fellowship stands around chattering idly. Suddenly, the torches snuff out and a cold wind engulfs them all. All stand frozen in fear as a ghostly shape takes form above their heads.

Ghost of Boromir: Did I miss anything special?

All run screaming from the room.

GoB: ... well, then, I'll just come back at a later time... is that okay? Guys?

[Tinuviel the Nightingale]

Rynoah, that ghost thing gives me an idea...

*Ghost of Haldir floats in, hovering above everyone's heads*:
"You know I wasn't sipposed to die like this. Come to think of it... I wasn't supposed to die AT ALL!!!!"

[Arafangwen]

That's hillarious!!! Did anyone else notice that everyone had Legolas and Gimli enter together?!? I would like to post one that says different but it probably wouldn't sound right, after all they are pretty funny together and they were going to go on that adventure and I'm just babbling again and I'm gonna stop now......