The Barrow Downs Newspaper

[Morthoron]

Letter to the Editor

Dear Tom or Queen:

It has come to our attention at the N-A-A-C-P (National Association for the Advancement of Cat Prerogatives) that The Downer has published an incendiary article regarding our feline brethren. Such blatant attacks on the Tabby community has given us paws to consider the fair-mindedness and objectivity of your paper (which when shredded, by the way, makes excellent litter).

Biased and negative reporting could prove catastrophic to the fundraising campaigns of our organization, which yearly gathers over a ton of spare yarn for economically disadvantaged felines in emerging Third World nations, as well as the eco-friendly recycling of sisal mats and rugs for scratch posts, and the tedious task of fitting little silver jingle-bells into plastic golf balls. Our catechism is simple: We are cute, we are cuddly, and you must love us, or we shall shred the arms of your sofa.

In future, we ask that you refrain from the concatenated catalogue of misconceptions and stereotypical connotations that have doggedly followed felinedom. To us, it is a matter of pride.

Sincerely,
Puss-in-Boots
Chaircat, NAACP

Morris
Chaircat Emeritus, NAACP

Felix
Secretary, NAACP

Garfield
Provisioner, NAACP

Tigger, Sylvester, Scratchy, Cat in the Hat, Hello Kitty, Hobbes, Elsa, Pink Panther
National Board of Categorical Imperatives, NAACP