If I found 200,000 orcs on my front door, I would....

[Gurthang]

I'd pull out my trusty light-saber and have a whole lot of fun.

I'd pull out my six-shooter and shoot six of 'em before I died.

I'd pull out my Gandalf-the-Grey-Uncloaked cardboard cut-out and scare them all away.

[Glirdan]

Probably run around yelling at the top of my voice. Then stop, think about it, and continue running around the house, but this time happily because I would be in a movie!!!!! Or just send them to Alaska. Ya, let's go with the Alaska one.

[THE Ka]

Like Russia can do with diamonds, I would flood the global market with orc sweat cosmetics and orc skin cell wintercoats. Maybe, even some fitness drinks make from their saliva... It would go something like this:

.~:Orcish Saliva Fitness Drinks! :~.

On the go, or wherever you need them! Blended, steamed, hot or cold, great taste should be sacrificed for great looks!


~Aesthete

[Elrowen Tinúviel]

If I was my alter-ego, I'd don my mithril armor, grab my bow, and sword, bar the door and call for help. At the barred door I would wait, for either the Orcs to make a move, or my assistance to arrive (in the form of Elladan, Elrohir, and a detachment of Rangers and Rohirrim).

If I were myself... I would pray really hard - and call some friends of mine. I'd don my Mongol armor (which would be completed by then), and get all the heavy weapons fighters in Trimaris (SCA kingdom) to come help me fight... the marshall who's training me would bring his collection of weapons... give me a sword and shield, and he'd kick some serious orc butt with his glaive.
Oh, and get the SWAT team to come out.... I'm sure that between the medieval-style heavy weapons, and the SWAT guys, we could take out the orcs... or, just throw a bomb in the middle of them, and while they're standing around wondering what it is, the explosive blows up, and all the orcs can wave bye bye.

-Elrowen

[Glirdan]

1) Play hide and seek with them and while one of them is "it", don on an orc costume and then escape.

2) Get Grima, Bilbo, Gandalf, Eomer, Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn so they can play hide and seek with the orcs while I go on E-bay and buy a sword, shield and mithril armour which, when it arrives, is 3 sizes to small.

3) Go back to my original plan and send them to Alaska.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Get them drunk and steal their wallets.

Or if that didn't work and they actually wanted to devour me, I would sail away down the river into the Sea. Let them have my castle; I only stole it from some guy anyway.

[Bergil]

...quickly sketch the queen, write

five bucks

beside the picture, grab a banner, thank them for their quick delivery, hand them the paper saying

here's your tip

then leave thru the back door as they fight over it. hopefully, I'll be long gone before they remember they aren't deliverymen!

[Laurinquë]

Originally Posted by Glirdan

Probably run around yelling at the top of my voice. Then stop, think about it, and continue running around the house, but this time happily because I would be in a movie!!!!! Or just send them to Alaska. Ya, let's go with the Alaska one.

Yeah, so they'll be on MY front door! Great...

Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Yeah, so they'll be on MY front door! Great...

Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements.

If you don't want them in Alaska send them here to the tropics, that way I might put them on a town feria and make money along the way.

[Rikae]

Tell my oldest daughter that, while her new group of friends is an improvement on the old one, they still aren't quite the sort I want her to associate with.

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Originally Posted by Lindale

If you don't want them in Alaska send them here to the tropics, that way I might put them on a town feria and make money along the way.

Well, having orcs in Alaska might not be a bad thing, just send them to Barrow.

Originally Posted by Laurinquë

Yeah, so they'll be on MY front door! Great...

Hmm..I think I would whip out my foil and challenge them all to a round-robin fencing tournament , and the ensuing bouts would take several thousand years to complete by which time I assume somebody would have noticed that Anchorage was covered on Orcs and would have summoned reinforcements.

Why not epee? Anyway, who would come to our aid? Certainly not the police!

If I found them on MY front door, I'd call the newspaper... and ask them what the 'ell they were doing at my door.

[Lindale]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

If I found them on MY front door, I'd call the newspaper... and ask them what the 'ell they were doing at my door.

I'd call the newspaper and have those orcs printed on the front page.