Tolkien Action figures you won't find in stores.

[Oddwen]

Let's not forget the frowned upon...

Mahal™, Inc. created their ripoff of the Barbie™, called the Gimlie™. These short, hairy figures did not please the head of Mattel™. He threatened a lawsuit, but the Gimlies™ exploded in popularity almost overnight and have become a good companion seller for the Legolas™ Barbie™, which incidentally also received a raise in popularity. The head of Mattel™ eventually bought out Mahal™, Inc. and mass-produced the Gimlie™.
One of the original seven prototypes, DurKen™, sold on eBay™ for a whopping $45,000™.


I'd buy an Oddwen™ Barrow-downer. Pull a string, and she'll say something disparaging about Orlando Bloom, herself, her job, or Mike! Then she'll say something wildly mildly amusing! And she'll start mumbling about who knows what, and won't stop until you run over her with your car!

[Gil-Galad]

well Barrowdowners Action Figure is a great idea, i won't characterize myself, i'll leave that to you oh wacky downers you...

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Lalwende, you really must start that thread.

How about the most depressing action figure you could get? The Mandos doll. Accurately predicts everything bad that will soon happen to you, but tells the stories in riddles so you can do nothing to change it.

Alternatively, Vaire actually does sound like a doll that little girls would like. Unfortunately, the anthropomorphism would cause furious debates in the household, thus leaving the parents with no option but to dispose of the doll to restore peace. It would be a Balrog-esque scenario. I still remember my drunken grandfather ruining another Christmas by arguing against wings...

[Boromir88]

If you are thinking about buying the Movie Eomer action figure don't. You'll either get nothing at all or any other person from Rohan except Eomer.

Oh and the Gothmog doll, you don't have to do anything to him, he's just down right ugly to begin with.

Lal, yes you should start that thread .

[Ainaserkewen]

You know what I would buy if they sold them would be a "Fell Beast" made of rubber on a bouncy string. Like a giant spider, you can hang them and make high pitched noises when you toss them at people. Can you imagine?

Oh, and if there were a Legolas Barbie, he would need his prince counterpart...wait, he's already a prince...so he needs a...princess/big sister counterpart? But she would wear the colourful board shorts and come with way too much product in her short, styled hair? Gah, this is confusing.

[The Elf-warrior]

Available now at Tack-key novelties the three stone troll dolls set! And a Witch-King action-figure that stabs people who wear gold rings; also with authentic nazgul shriek! Or how about a Denethor cigarette lighter? Just press the button and Denethor goes up in flames! As a bonus for the purists he is clutching a palantir. Also for those grouchy purists (A pox on them. Gibbets and crows! We could have had Arwen at Helms Deep or Minas Tirith. Just imagine the sales of the action figures! They could have been mine! They should have been mine!!) a PJ the pirate with an arrow in his chest!

[The Only Real Estel]

Supposedly there's a new Denethor figure out. You can feed him food and he'll spit it back out all over himself.