All-Downs Summarise Tolkien Competition

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

It had to happen sooner or later: a chat room, a Friday night, a silly conversation and behold! The greatest challenge since Monty Python used almost the exact same joke thirty years ago. The rules are simple: summarise anything written by J.R.R. Tolkien in ten words or less.

Bear in mind that while this isn't going to be the most serious of threads I do expect a certain degree of intelligence to the silliness. Simply putting down the first random phrase that comes into your head is not acceptable. Try to think of it as summarising Proust, but in English and with more Silmarils. Also I've been asked to point out that this is an officially sponsored thread. By whom is a mystery even to those of us who know that I mean the Barrow-Wight.

To start us off, here's my own rendition of the entirety of The History of Middle-earth.

Long time, no Sil

Thank you and good night.

[ 8:31 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: The Squatter of Amon Rûdh ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

Ten words or less? Yikes! Sounds very challenging but also fun - if done with a bit of thought.

And now for my attempt at alliterative summarizing The Lord of the Rings in ten words or less.

"Runts roll Ring 'round riders, ruining ruling rogue's rotten ruse"

Extra points for tongue-twisting?

[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

I see no reason why not. Also for writing in one of Tolkien's languages or alphabets. If you can combine all of these factors, you get a free gasp of amazement.

Unfortunately the only points we've been able to find are pre-war Ruritanian Economy Points, which are just like ordinary points, except that they evaporate as soon as they're awarded.

[Arvedui III]

Heheh, that's great.

Ten words...Gulp. Herm, well since no one's done the Silmarillion, I'll try.

Gods make and brake stuff. Elves kill for/destroy jewels

[ 9:35 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Arvedui III ]

[The Barrow-Wight]

Time for a little tough love....

Any chance we could spellcheck our entries first? Honestly, Squatter did ask for an intelligent effort. How difficult could it be to put it in a word processor and hit F7?

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Hmmm...Interesting...Skillfully crafting a collage of less than eleven words to say what Tolkien has taken most of his life to perfect...I like it!

The entirety of LotR...

No Vala wants his/her hands dirty.

[ 9:48 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Cuthalion]

"The Lay of Beren and Luthien"

...a good Lay.

*Don't ban me...it was completely out of my hands* [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

[Lhunardawen]

This one is for the whole of LotR:

Here is how one measly Ring can shape Middle-Earth.

[ 10:17 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Lhunardawen ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

LotR:

Hobbits save the world, nothing changes for them.

Lindril (oh, I love that sketch) Arvilya

[Elentári_O_Most_Mighty_1]

Erm...LOTR:

'Tale of the corruptive powers of a bit of jewellery'

Ooh, that was ten words exactly!

[Liriodendron]

Did someone say alliterative? (drool)

Lord of the Rings.....Pipsqueak people persevere, pity preserves preternatural, pedigreed planet.

[ 10:18 AM November 29, 2003: Message edited by: Liriodendron ]

[Cuthalion]

LotR...

Formed Fellowship failed, Frodo fled, fiendish "friend" flung finery fire-ward.

[Lindril Arvilya]

Meela, you're hilarious.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

One for Roverandom: Dog annoys wizard, travels far. (Not alliterative, I know. It sounds like a newspaper headline.)

[The Barrow-Wight]

Alliteration is not a requirement.

[Luthien_ Tinuviel]

Alliteration is not a requirement.

I know, but I really wanted a pre-war Ruritanian Economy Point to put on my mantelpiece.

How about one for Farmer Giles of Ham? Scare a dragon, become a king, life is good.

Or perhaps one for all of the "canon" works: Jewelry is dangerous and to be avoided at all costs.

[ 8:32 PM November 29, 2003: Message edited by: Luthien_ Tinuviel ]

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

The Silm:

Make world, make trees, make jewels, make war.


LotR:

Long trip, meet people, friends die, almost fail, help arrives.


The Hobbit:

Long trip, meet people, friends die, almost fail, help arrives. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]


Fea

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Quenta Silmarillion...

Elves flee, made stones,
Morgoth stole.
Elves return, Elves return

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Something for the Book of Lost Tales I

Et Endorello Valinorenna utúlien. Sanan maruvalmë sinomë.

I think prewar Ruritanian Economy Points would be quite nice for awarding, but last I heard, it crashed below sea-level like a Nazgûl.

Or was it NASDAQ?

EDIT: Almaren was non-existent during BoLT I's creation...sorry...
[ 2:41 AM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Feared Half-Elf]

Hobbits save the world, nothing changes for them

That was going to be my one! Oh well, I'll have to put my version too.

Lotr: Nine people, give or take a few, save the world.

Meela, your hilarious

Just my thinking too.

[Mithadan]

Nine plus Seven, Three and One equals zero.

[Ainaserkewen]

How about these?

This one's a random thought concerned with the movies...not part of the contest...

Super movie, someone should write a book about it.

Serious one...well not really serious, but, oh never mind!

One ring + crazy quest= minus one finger

[willkill4food]

The Hobbit:

"12 Dwarves on Smaug's chest, yohoho and a thieving hobbit"

a little bit of cheating, but not much...

-willkill

[The Saucepan Man]

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Some great ones here. Excellent idea, Squatter. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Personally, I like Bilbo's entry for The Hobbit:

There and back again.

[img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Did someone say alliteration? Now you're talkin' - here are my (unplagiarised) efforts (for LotR):

Representative races rally round Ringbearer, repudiating ruinous ravager’s Ring racket.

and

Hardy Hobbits help heterogeneous humanoids halt heartless horror’s hellish havoc.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Dang Saucepan... how do you do it? I think I'm simply lacking the vocabulary to do as much... Give me a few more years of schooling and I *might* match you... maybe. Here's an alliteration (attempted, at least) for the Silm:

Malefic Melkor makes madrigal, marring mighty Music.

Fea

[vanwalossien]

I'm not very creative, that's common knowledge, but it turns out my friends are. This one is my dear friend Bjørn's summary of the Silm [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Bad Elves, bad Gods, bad Dwarves, bad Men, happy ending.

[Meela]

Lotr:

All Orcs and no Elves makes Arda a dark place.

[The Saucepan Man]

Dang Saucepan... how do you do it?

Thesaurus.com. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Smith of Wooton Major:

Boy eats star, goes far.

[ 11:10 AM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Thesaurus.com... now I don't feel so guilty about having done my own alliterations using my handy dandy Webster's College Dictionary! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

I think... the Hobbit.

Interfering Istari stirs (and stops) many multispecied mishaps.

And...

Main characters' quest almost fails, side characters save them all.

Fea

Evil ring, little hobbit, big war, free-people conquer evil !
~or~
for the FOTR
Fellowship forms, Gandalf in shadow,Lothlorien, Boromir's death, Fellowship breaks.
~or~
for TTT
Smeagul, Ent draught, Gandalf the white, Helm's Deep, Shelob's Lair
~or~
for ROTK
....i wont tell just yet....in case anyone hasn't read the books...

[Lindril Arvilya]

The Two Towers Movie:

This is why you should read what Tolkien really wrote.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

An Alliterative Silmarillion:

Sprite styles Silmarilli. Spider seconds saboteur, starts stealing, spans Sea.

[ 11:34 PM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

[Finwe]

Silmarillion:

Dark lord steals jewels, wars, gets his butt kicked.

LotR:

Ring + Suicidal Quest = Dark Lord's Death + (-Finger)

[mark12_30]

LotR:

Ring ruins Frodo's fellowship.

[ 2:28 PM December 03, 2003: Message edited by: mark12_30 ]

[Mariska Greenleaf]

LOTR:

Get a ring and get rid of it.

[HerenIstarion]

For he that attempteth this shall prove but mine instrument

runs true for all of JRRT's works. Who may have said better then himself?

as for mine entries, with a bit of JRRT plagiarism again:

Silmarillion - Then the Ainur were afraid

LoTR - Last meeting of the White Council

The Hobbit - why did I do it, oh my, why did I?

Giles of Ham - certainly, I will do it tomorrow

Smith of Wotton Major - hm, cooks may both be good or bad fellaz

Leaf by Niggle - museums tend to be burned down

Adventures of Tom Bombadil - someone shouting in a boat is definitely a good chap

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

Personally, I like Bilbo's entry for The Hobbit:

quote:
------------------------------------------------------------------------
There and back again.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

How about a modification of it for LotR...

There and back again...and there again...

[Meela]

Lotr~

A little thing goes a long way.

Here you go, Lindril:

Lotr~

Fight the fire, sling the ring, save the day.

The Hobbit~

Bag 'em, Baggins.

[ 6:03 AM December 05, 2003: Message edited by: Meela ]

[Ainaserkewen]

"Two hobbits, one ring,
the dark eye always watching,
Boom."

I think you all know what story that's from...now one for the Silm.

"Finwe and Miriel should have considered birth control."

[ 1:36 PM December 05, 2003: Message edited by: Ainaserkewen ]

[Lindril Arvilya]

Thanks Meela.

Food, flee, fight, faith, friends, fire, fun.

Lindril (the 7 F's) Arvilya