All-Downs Summarise Tolkien Competition
 

It had to happen sooner or later: a chat room, a Friday night, a silly conversation and behold! The greatest challenge since Monty Python used almost the exact same joke thirty years ago. The rules are simple: summarise anything written by J.R.R. Tolkien in ten words or less.

Bear in mind that while this isn't going to be the most serious of threads I do expect a certain degree of intelligence to the silliness. Simply putting down the first random phrase that comes into your head is not acceptable. Try to think of it as summarising Proust, but in English and with more Silmarils. Also I've been asked to point out that this is an officially sponsored thread. By whom is a mystery even to those of us who know that I mean the Barrow-Wight.

To start us off, here's my own rendition of the entirety of The History of Middle-earth.

Long time, no Sil

Thank you and good night.

[ 8:31 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: The Squatter of Amon Rûdh ]

Ten words or less? Yikes! Sounds very challenging but also fun - if done with a bit of thought.

And now for my attempt at alliterative summarizing The Lord of the Rings in ten words or less.
Extra points for tongue-twisting?

I see no reason why not. Also for writing in one of Tolkien's languages or alphabets. If you can combine all of these factors, you get a free gasp of amazement.

Unfortunately the only points we've been able to find are pre-war Ruritanian Economy Points, which are just like ordinary points, except that they evaporate as soon as they're awarded.

Heheh, that's great.

Ten words...Gulp. Herm, well since no one's done the Silmarillion, I'll try.

Gods make and brake stuff. Elves kill for/destroy jewels

[ 9:35 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Arvedui III ]

Time for a little tough love....

Any chance we could spellcheck our entries first? Honestly, Squatter did ask for an intelligent effort. How difficult could it be to put it in a word processor and hit F7?

Hmmm...Interesting...Skillfully crafting a collage of less than eleven words to say what Tolkien has taken most of his life to perfect...I like it!

The entirety of LotR...

[ 9:48 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

"The Lay of Beren and Luthien"

...a good Lay.

*Don't ban me...it was completely out of my hands* [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]

This one is for the whole of LotR:

Here is how one measly Ring can shape Middle-Earth.

[ 10:17 PM November 28, 2003: Message edited by: Lhunardawen ]

LotR:

Hobbits save the world, nothing changes for them.

Lindril (oh, I love that sketch) Arvilya

Erm...LOTR:

'Tale of the corruptive powers of a bit of jewellery'

Ooh, that was ten words exactly!

Did someone say alliterative? (drool)

Lord of the Rings.....Pipsqueak people persevere, pity preserves preternatural, pedigreed planet.

[ 10:18 AM November 29, 2003: Message edited by: Liriodendron ]

LotR...

Formed Fellowship failed, Frodo fled, fiendish "friend" flung finery fire-ward.

Meela, you're hilarious.

One for Roverandom: Dog annoys wizard, travels far. (Not alliterative, I know. It sounds like a newspaper headline.)

Alliteration is not a requirement.

I know, but I really wanted a pre-war Ruritanian Economy Point to put on my mantelpiece.

How about one for Farmer Giles of Ham? Scare a dragon, become a king, life is good.

Or perhaps one for all of the "canon" works: Jewelry is dangerous and to be avoided at all costs.

[ 8:32 PM November 29, 2003: Message edited by: Luthien_ Tinuviel ]

The Silm:

Make world, make trees, make jewels, make war.


LotR:

Long trip, meet people, friends die, almost fail, help arrives.


The Hobbit:

Long trip, meet people, friends die, almost fail, help arrives. [img]smilies/evil.gif[/img]


Fea

Quenta Silmarillion...

Something for the Book of Lost Tales I

I think prewar Ruritanian Economy Points would be quite nice for awarding, but last I heard, it crashed below sea-level like a Nazgûl.

Or was it NASDAQ?

EDIT: Almaren was non-existent during BoLT I's creation...sorry... :(
[ 2:41 AM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

That was going to be my one! Oh well, I'll have to put my version too.

Lotr: Nine people, give or take a few, save the world.

Just my thinking too.

How about these?

This one's a random thought concerned with the movies...not part of the contest... Serious one...well not really serious, but, oh never mind!

The Hobbit:

"12 Dwarves on Smaug's chest, yohoho and a thieving hobbit"

a little bit of cheating, but not much...

-willkill

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Some great ones here. Excellent idea, Squatter. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Personally, I like Bilbo's entry for The Hobbit:

[img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

Did someone say alliteration? Now you're talkin' - here are my (unplagiarised) efforts (for LotR):

and

Dang Saucepan... how do you do it? I think I'm simply lacking the vocabulary to do as much... Give me a few more years of schooling and I *might* match you... maybe. Here's an alliteration (attempted, at least) for the Silm:

Malefic Melkor makes madrigal, marring mighty Music.

Fea

I'm not very creative, that's common knowledge, but it turns out my friends are. This one is my dear friend Bjørn's summary of the Silm [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

Lotr:

All Orcs and no Elves makes Arda a dark place.

Thesaurus.com. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Smith of Wooton Major:

[ 11:10 AM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: The Saucepan Man ]

Thesaurus.com... now I don't feel so guilty about having done my own alliterations using my handy dandy Webster's College Dictionary! [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

I think... the Hobbit.

Interfering Istari stirs (and stops) many multispecied mishaps.

And...

Main characters' quest almost fails, side characters save them all.

Fea

Evil ring, little hobbit, big war, free-people conquer evil !
~or~
for the FOTR
Fellowship forms, Gandalf in shadow,Lothlorien, Boromir's death, Fellowship breaks.
~or~
for TTT
Smeagul, Ent draught, Gandalf the white, Helm's Deep, Shelob's Lair
~or~
for ROTK
....i wont tell just yet....in case anyone hasn't read the books...

The Two Towers Movie:

This is why you should read what Tolkien really wrote.

An Alliterative Silmarillion:

[ 11:34 PM December 02, 2003: Message edited by: Nilpaurion Felagund ]

Silmarillion:

Dark lord steals jewels, wars, gets his butt kicked.

LotR:

Ring + Suicidal Quest = Dark Lord's Death + (-Finger)

LotR:
[ 2:28 PM December 03, 2003: Message edited by: mark12_30 ]

LOTR:

runs true for all of JRRT's works. Who may have said better then himself?

as for mine entries, with a bit of JRRT plagiarism again:

Silmarillion - Then the Ainur were afraid

LoTR - Last meeting of the White Council

The Hobbit - why did I do it, oh my, why did I?

Giles of Ham - certainly, I will do it tomorrow

Smith of Wotton Major - hm, cooks may both be good or bad fellaz

Leaf by Niggle - museums tend to be burned down

Adventures of Tom Bombadil - someone shouting in a boat is definitely a good chap

How about a modification of it for LotR...

:rolleyes:

Lotr~

A little thing goes a long way.

Here you go, Lindril:

Lotr~

Fight the fire, sling the ring, save the day.

The Hobbit~

Bag 'em, Baggins.

[ 6:03 AM December 05, 2003: Message edited by: Meela ]

"Two hobbits, one ring,
the dark eye always watching,
Boom."

I think you all know what story that's from...now one for the Silm.

"Finwe and Miriel should have considered birth control."

[ 1:36 PM December 05, 2003: Message edited by: Ainaserkewen ]

Thanks Meela.

Food, flee, fight, faith, friends, fire, fun.

Lindril (the 7 F's) Arvilya