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04-15-2011, 09:59 AM | #1 |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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The Lord of the Rings in Limericks
Here's the challenge: rewrite any scene you want to from LotR as a Limerick.
Definition: a kind of humorous verse of five lines, in which the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines, which are shorter, form a rhymed couplet. Example: When Gandalf to Hobbiton came with fireworks ready to flame the hobbit kids shouted, and old farmers pouted, 'be careful, that wizard's not tame.' I'm sure you can do better. By the way, it's fine to comment on others' limericks - keep it courteous ... as long as you generate a limerick yourself. Last edited by littlemanpoet; 04-15-2011 at 08:06 PM. |
04-15-2011, 10:38 AM | #2 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,507
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Gimli had a crush on an Elf,
An odd thing for Dwarf as himself. He and Galadriel got wild, And thus begat a child, Which lo and behold was a Dwelf.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
04-15-2011, 10:52 AM | #3 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,507
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Sauron, it is said, had One Eye,
Which one day developed a stye. Although the pain was quite dire, Wreathed as it was in fire, His tears dried right up as he cried.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
04-15-2011, 11:53 AM | #4 |
Gruesome Spectre
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Heaven's doorstep
Posts: 8,036
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Tom lived in the Forest of Old
And said "Here, all do as they're told", Then a maiden he met, And she said "I'll bet "the laundry you'll now start to fold."
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Music alone proves the existence of God. |
04-15-2011, 05:22 PM | #5 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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Sadly not remotely humorous (I'm working on that), but I just love making up rhymes, so as soon as I saw the thread, I already had these formed.
One for my new favourite characters: About time the Ents had a meeting, Just a shame it wasn’t more fleeting. Too long did it last; War was a thing of the past By the time they’d finished their greetings. And a random extra couple, inspired by my being mid-way into the battle of Pelennor: Eomer, fed up with bearing the brunt, Tried showing off with a battle stunt, But found he was blind And landed on his behind. “Damn, I’ve got my helmet on back-to-front”. Eowyn was a maiden of Rohan, Whose merits were matched by no man, But the fame and the cred Went straight to her head, These days she’s wilder than Lindsay Lohan. Also (while I'm on a roll...), two different ones for my favorite person: Denethor was mad as a brush, His mind had long since turned to mush. The fire burned for miles, As he went out in style Going up in the flames with a rush. I’ll tell you a tale of great sadness Of a Steward who succumbed to madness. In the darkness it came, War and grief fanned the flame - A flame he leapt into with gladness.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
04-15-2011, 05:48 PM | #6 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,363
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Not as good as the ones above, but som'ing:
Luthien, of Elf-maids the fairest,
Cost the object for Elves most dearest. From the over-priced shelf Where her Pa put the Elf She ran away to the man who was nearest. Welcome back, Meela! I was reading your posts on some of the old threads. You weren't around when I joined...
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
04-15-2011, 06:10 PM | #7 |
Denethor's True Love
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... *swoon*
Posts: 2,049
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I can't stop! It's addictive
Thanks for the welcome! I've just made a return today after years of silent lurking. I like to pop into Mirth occasionally and make a small contribution
Yet another: Into Moria they went with circumspection A bad idea, upon reflection. For days they travelled Then one hitch unravelled – They were going in the wrong direction.
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'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard. |
04-16-2011, 09:51 AM | #8 |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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Samwise thought Shelob was wicked;
Had his Sting, knew where to stick it. She sat on the pin, it poked deep within; he mused, 'Elvish blades are just the ticket.' I wondered how long it would be before someone took license with the story. Just 1 post, Morth. Last edited by littlemanpoet; 04-16-2011 at 09:56 AM. |
04-16-2011, 10:00 AM | #9 |
Gruesome Spectre
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Heaven's doorstep
Posts: 8,036
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On the Downs in his barrow lived a wight,
who was well used to giving all fright. But one day he learned, It was his eyes which burned, When Hobbits ran nude in the light!
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Music alone proves the existence of God. |
04-16-2011, 12:07 PM | #10 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,507
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While dueling with riddles in a cave,
Baggins made a faux-pas so grave, That Gollum was heard to howl At the rule-breaking foul From this pick-pocketing Hobbitish knave. Fatty Bolger, a Hobbit of the Shire, Had a case of obesity most dire. He heard of a "Lockholes Diet", And so, decided to try it, And that's how he lost his spare tire.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. Last edited by Morthoron; 04-16-2011 at 04:54 PM. |
04-20-2011, 12:21 AM | #11 |
Pile O'Bones
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 11
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There once was a Hobbit from Shire,
Who took on a quest oh-so dire, He walked a long way, for many a-day, and threw some ring into the fire. That's all I got. |
04-21-2011, 04:19 PM | #12 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,507
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Gollum's table manners were crude,
In matters of etiquette, quite rude. He used neither knife or fork When dining on Orc, Nor when he snacked on finger food.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
04-21-2011, 05:38 PM | #13 |
Itinerant Songster
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The Edge of Faerie
Posts: 7,066
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Legolas and Gimli had a slaying competition
their counts were thought to be above suspicion Gimli declared his sum and beat Legolas by one claiming eighty-three orcs sent to perdition. |
04-22-2011, 06:29 AM | #14 |
Curmudgeonly Wordwraith
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ensconced in curmudgeonly pursuits
Posts: 2,507
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A bloody epic was told of a Ring --
A bauble, a decorative thing. To stir so much passion Over a small piece of fashion Must make Sauron The Lord of the Bling.
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And your little sister's immaculate virginity wings away on the bony shoulders of a young horse named George who stole surreptitiously into her geography revision. |
05-25-2011, 08:40 PM | #15 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,363
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Faramir for women had no eye
Until Rohan arose as Gondor's ally, When to Lady Eowyn Of Theoden's kin He could for days on end say good-bye. This one is for "The King's Players" RPers and those who pay attention to the "Itaril" thread. The world had peace. Nothing scary Interrupted the life that was merry, Until one Itaril Elf Came, her most evil self, And another weird Elf that's called "Mary".
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
05-25-2011, 08:46 PM | #16 |
Blossom of Dwimordene
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: The realm of forgotten words
Posts: 10,363
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One more
Crossing the Helcaraxe wasn't fun
Yet Figolfin found that his journey has just began: After days and nights cold - Well, you know, this story is old - He discovered he's back in Aman. (Sorry, Meela, I kind of stole your "wrong direction" idea... )
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You passed from under darkened dome, you enter now the secret land. - Take me to Finrod's fabled home!... ~ Finrod: The Rock Opera |
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