The Lord of the Rings in Limericks
 

Here's the challenge: rewrite any scene you want to from LotR as a Limerick.

Definition: a kind of humorous verse of five lines, in which the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines, which are shorter, form a rhymed couplet.

Example:

When Gandalf to Hobbiton came
with fireworks ready to flame
the hobbit kids shouted,
and old farmers pouted,
'be careful, that wizard's not tame.'

I'm sure you can do better.

By the way, it's fine to comment on others' limericks - keep it courteous ;) ... as long as you generate a limerick yourself.

Gimli had a crush on an Elf,
An odd thing for Dwarf as himself.
He and Galadriel got wild,
And thus begat a child,
Which lo and behold was a Dwelf.

Sauron, it is said, had One Eye,
Which one day developed a stye.
Although the pain was quite dire,
Wreathed as it was in fire,
His tears dried right up as he cried.

Sadly not remotely humorous (I'm working on that), but I just love making up rhymes, so as soon as I saw the thread, I already had these formed.

One for my new favourite characters:

About time the Ents had a meeting,
Just a shame it wasn’t more fleeting.
Too long did it last;
War was a thing of the past
By the time they’d finished their greetings.

And a random extra couple, inspired by my being mid-way into the battle of Pelennor:

Eomer, fed up with bearing the brunt,
Tried showing off with a battle stunt,
But found he was blind
And landed on his behind.
“Damn, I’ve got my helmet on back-to-front”.

Eowyn was a maiden of Rohan,
Whose merits were matched by no man,
But the fame and the cred
Went straight to her head,
These days she’s wilder than Lindsay Lohan.

Also (while I'm on a roll...), two different ones for my favorite person:

Denethor was mad as a brush,
His mind had long since turned to mush.
The fire burned for miles,
As he went out in style
Going up in the flames with a rush.

I’ll tell you a tale of great sadness
Of a Steward who succumbed to madness.
In the darkness it came,
War and grief fanned the flame -
A flame he leapt into with gladness.

Not as good as the ones above, but som'ing:
 

Luthien, of Elf-maids the fairest,
Cost the object for Elves most dearest.
From the over-priced shelf
Where her Pa put the Elf
She ran away to the man who was nearest.


Welcome back, Meela! I was reading your posts on some of the old threads. You weren't around when I joined...

I can't stop! It's addictive
 

Thanks for the welcome! I've just made a return today after years of silent lurking. I like to pop into Mirth occasionally and make a small contribution

Yet another:

Into Moria they went with circumspection
A bad idea, upon reflection.
For days they travelled
Then one hitch unravelled –
They were going in the wrong direction.

Samwise thought Shelob was wicked;
Had his Sting, knew where to stick it.
She sat on the pin,
it poked deep within;
he mused, 'Elvish blades are just the ticket.'

I wondered how long it would be before someone took license with the story. Just 1 post, Morth. :)

On the Downs in his barrow lived a wight,
who was well used to giving all fright.
But one day he learned,
It was his eyes which burned,
When Hobbits ran nude in the light!

While dueling with riddles in a cave,
Baggins made a faux-pas so grave,
That Gollum was heard to howl
At the rule-breaking foul
From this pick-pocketing Hobbitish knave.

Fatty Bolger, a Hobbit of the Shire,
Had a case of obesity most dire.
He heard of a "Lockholes Diet",
And so, decided to try it,
And that's how he lost his spare tire.

There once was a Hobbit from Shire,
Who took on a quest oh-so dire,
He walked a long way,
for many a-day,
and threw some ring into the fire.

That's all I got. :D

Gollum's table manners were crude,
In matters of etiquette, quite rude.
He used neither knife or fork
When dining on Orc,
Nor when he snacked on finger food.

Legolas and Gimli had a slaying competition
their counts were thought to be above suspicion
Gimli declared his sum
and beat Legolas by one
claiming eighty-three orcs sent to perdition.

A bloody epic was told of a Ring --
A bauble, a decorative thing.
To stir so much passion
Over a small piece of fashion
Must make Sauron The Lord of the Bling.

Faramir for women had no eye
Until Rohan arose as Gondor's ally,
When to Lady Eowyn
Of Theoden's kin
He could for days on end say good-bye.


This one is for "The King's Players" RPers and those who pay attention to the "Itaril" thread. ;)

The world had peace. Nothing scary
Interrupted the life that was merry,
Until one Itaril Elf
Came, her most evil self,
And another weird Elf that's called "Mary".

One more
 

Crossing the Helcaraxe wasn't fun
Yet Figolfin found that his journey has just began:
After days and nights cold -
Well, you know, this story is old -
He discovered he's back in Aman.

(Sorry, Meela, I kind of stole your "wrong direction" idea... :o)