[Morthoron]

For a Mustang -- The FORD of Bruinen

For a flowered VW Microbus at a Grateful Dead concert -- Keep on Tolkien

For a rusted-out 20 year-old Chevy -- All that glitters is not gold

For the bumper of a logging truck -- Oh, we've got your ent-wives!

For a patriotic environmentalist -- Boycott foreign Eol

For the bumper of any loyal Downer -- Barrow to the Marrow!

For law-enforcement boosters -- Support your local Shiriff

In support of urban mass transit -- Fight Smaug - Take the Bus

For the rugged Harley enthusiast -- Beorn To Be Wild

For a river crossing -- Bridge ahead - Pay at the Troll Booth