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This Day in History
On May 1, 2003, the questions of canonicity were thrown out the window, and residents of The Barrow-Downs, at large, for a brief time had the nerve to do whatever they wished with Tolkien’s creations. The “Entish Bow Nonsense Act” apparently paved the way for such blatant disregard of J.R.R. Tolkien’s dream, his vision, his creation.
Supporters of the “EBNA” claimed that enforcing the observance of Tolkien’s “rules” creates a metaphorical prison for their natural and naturally abundant creativity. Apparently as part of exercising their freedom of creative expression, a number of Wights partook in the cooking, BBQing, and consumption of what they called “Balrog Wings.”
This display of questionable existence seemed to be the occasion for the debacle at Minas Arnor, at which attendees were seen using devices of questionable and likely dark-magic-as-in-necromancer-ring-a-bell?, went so far as to address questions unanswered with as-they-pleased assumptions, and were accompanied peacefully by creatures who Tolkien specifically stated in Letter 1337, “tear…[the] living…life out…[of] anything…[and] anyone.”
Among the excess of negative reactions was chair-high-grand-puba of the Canonites of the New Nexus of Neo-Tolkienites’ words, which were quoted in the 134th issue of Ye Olde Downer: “I…[am] flabbergasted. There is nothing funny…[about] Tolkien.”
This statement did much to spark a loud dialogue between Canonites and FIFites*, but the questions of whether or not Balrogs have wings, whether Balrogs are funnier with or without their wings, whether Balrog wings are actually funnier on a Balrog or as a separate entity, and whether right or wrong is in the eye of the book-holder or the book-owner were never sufficiently answered.
*FIF is the traditional acronym for the Free Interpretation Front
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