Ooh! This sounds like fun... I think I'll give it a shot. Here goes nothing:
Sir, I'm afriad there's been a... situation.
What is it this time? More straggling orcs?
I'm afraid not, sir. It is... much worse than that. <clears throat> It appears that a very large gathering a wombats has assembled on our southern border.
<gasp> It can't be!! Not the WOMBATS!!!!
I'm afraid so, sire. I recommend immediate evacuation of all cities along the souther border.
Hmm... that does seem wise, but it seem like such a shame to leave everything, now that we've almost completed our Ben&Jerry's... No. No, I've decided it can't be done. We cannot leave when we are so close to everything we have ever dreamed of!!
But sir! Think of all the lollipops that could be needlessly wasted if we do not act!
Are you questioning my judgement, Mortimer? Because, if you are...
No, no! Of course not, sire. It's just that I
do have some hesitation about leaving ourselves prone to those theiving wombats... <shudders>
I understand your concerns, Mortimer, and believe me, I've thought this through. But the time has to sacrifice all for the sake of icecream!!!!! MUAHAHA... um, 'scuse me... tickle in the throat...
<screams> IT'S TOO LATE!!!!! THEY HAVE COME FOR US... RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!!!
<glares> I TOLD you this would happen...
Don't be a fool, Mortimer. You must have guessed by now that I HAVE JOINED THE DARK SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE!!!!!!!!!!
<sleep deprived> Okay... who knows where THAT came from...?!