The Battle of Helms Deep: part one. (Why, because I'm to lazy to write the rest.)
(All the elves and all that stand along the top of the wall. Aragorn is muttering something about "Stupid late she-elves." Gimli is muttering something about "Where's the box when you need it." Legolas is muttering something about "Where's Enya when you need her." Haldir is muttering something about "Everyone here is breathing too loudly." And Howard Shore is muttering about the lack of worthwhile theme music for this scene.)
Gimli: I can't see!
Legolas: There's nothing to see. I grew up here, you know.
Gimli: ? You're going to die here, you know. Convenient.
Legolas: Not if I can help it. I've taken care of everything.
Aragorn: You didn't grow up here.
Legolas: Shhhhhh.
PJ: Will you guys PLEASE stop with the Star Wars quoting thing?!
Agent Smith: Join with me...
PJ: Just shut up.
Legolas: I'm trying to act here.
PJ: I'll send in Enya.
Theoden: I think we can handle one little girl.
PJ: If only you knew...
Random Urak-hai: HIIIIIIIIIII, EVERYONE!
Eowyn: (Kills random Urak-hai) MWHA-HA!
Theoden: I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN THE KEEP!!!!
Eowyn: So?
Theoden: *glares*
Aragorn: Can we get on with this?
Arwen: Honey, I brought you your sword!!!!!
Everyone: CAN I SEE IT?!
Boromir: Yah!
Aragorn: You, know, you're dead.
Boromir: I'm not left-handed either.
Aragorn: Must we do this again?
Boromir: Yep.
Aragorn: You are a limp sword-fighter.
Boromir: Get used to disapointments.
PJ: THIS ISN'T IN THE SCRIPT!!!!!!!!!!!
Gimli: I'M ON TWENTY-EIGHT!!!!!
Legolas: You can't see, and there's no orcs yet.
Gimli: I know that... but I'm still on twenty-eight.
Legolas: What are you killing: elves?
Gimli: No, flies.
Legolas: *sigh*
Aragorn: Do not despair, your friends are here with you.
Agent Smith: Despair, for I am leading the orcs upon you.
J.R.R. Tolkien: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, THERE'S NO AGENTS IN MIDDLE-EARTH!!!!!!
Agent Smith: Somehow, I thought I killed you.
Tolkien: I won't stay dead, for I already am!!!!!!!
Aragorn: Um, we're filming?
(Suddenly J.R.R. Tolkien disappears in a flash of orange light.)
Jandalf the Orange: Minions of Xendor.
The author of this piece: How come you seem to appear in all my writing?
Jandalf: I don't know. Maybe because you like writing me in?
Author: No, that's Darth Warious.
Darth Warious: You called?
PJ: WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?! WHO WROTE THIS??????
Author: Me.
Agent Smith: I won't stand for this. (Kills author)
Author: I WILLLLLLL BEEEEEE BACKKKKKKKKK...
Jandalf: Drat...
Agent Smith: Hey, I know you....
Jandalf: Double drat.
Darth Warious: Hey, there's HALDIR!!!!!
PJ: CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!
Agent Smith: (Somehow kavvams the two random characters out of this story)
PJ: Okay, let's just erase that last last bit...
(Erases that last bit)
Aragorn: We will all DIE!!!!!!
PJ: Okay, we'll delete that one too............
(Deletes it)
Legolas: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM.
PJ: Sigh.
(Deletes it again)
Agent Smith: Oh, give it a rest. You'll all die anyhow.
Darth Vader: I am your father!!!!!!!!!
Aragorn:
Haldir: Didja know that he breathes too loudly?
PJ: Sigh. Okay, people, let's take it from here again.
Enya: Aren't there suppose to be orcs?
Random Orc: I'm HERE!!!!!!
PJ: Sigh.
And that was that. Now someone else can finish this battle.
-Eowyn Skywalker