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Old 04-08-2007, 02:31 PM   #561
littlemanpoet
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littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Three cheers for Scyld! Three cheers for Firefoot! Quite the moving narrative.

I don't know what the rest of you think, but the thing feels finished to me. Sure, we could have Linduial rescued and have some kind of wrap-up scene, but do we really need it?

And when's Scyld coming to EMH?
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Old 04-08-2007, 06:54 PM   #562
Taralphiel
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Is my last post still required?

I have it here, though I'm worried it might make everything feel a little 'jerky' after Fire's post.

Please let me know.

- Tara
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Old 04-08-2007, 09:06 PM   #563
Firefoot
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Firefoot has been trapped in the Barrow!
It's about Sorn's death, right? Sorn's dead in my last post, so just have it inserted before mine... if you post it here, I could even put it before my post.

I think that it should definitely be put in, though - right now the flow is a little off, they were fighting and all of a sudden they're dead without any death scene.
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:42 PM   #564
Taralphiel
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Allright the Fire, here's my post. Like I've mentioned before, it's not perfect. If you can tell me what's missing, or if there's something I need to take out, you'll be rewarded with cuddles. :P

The second sentence also irritates me. I don't know how to re-word it.

Can you tell there's a writer's block gaining strength here? :P

~*~

The dagger sank in and tore. The sickening smell and warmth of Helmís fluid on his hands was all lost on Sorn. It was just the act, and the simple instinct. Helm bellowed, and the sound rose and rent the hillside as Sorn withdrew and plunged the blade again and again.

Scyld and the girl disappeared, as all the things that had once mattered were sifted in with the dirt under his feet. Helmís blood mixed with his. He could feel the pain growing on his senses; the great weight of the blow to his skull. Sorn faltered, his arms going slack at his sides. He fell, a great weight to the dirt.

He mingled with the dust. He mingled with everything that did not matter. Sorn wished to laugh, at the great ruin he had made of himself, but his throat was too tight. His body lost all composure, and he could not lift his head from the dirt.

He heard shouting, and panicked cries all around him. He heard running, and the steady ringing thump of hooves growing louder. He saw Helm stagger, and begin to fall.

That was the last thing Sorn of Rohan saw. All was lost to him. All that was left of him is was crime, and the smear of shame that ended his house and line.

~*~*~

Have at it! I do agree i'd suit being before your post, which leads to an apology for not conquering it sooner.

- Tara
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Old 04-09-2007, 08:59 AM   #565
littlemanpoet
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littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Yeah, I agree that Tara's post should be inserted in and before Firefoot's. And on second thought, it would be in the spirit of Tolkien to wrap things up and have a "well I'm back" moment.
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Old 04-18-2007, 09:18 PM   #566
Firefoot
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Firefoot has been trapped in the Barrow!
So is that it, then?
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Old 04-19-2007, 09:49 AM   #567
littlemanpoet
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littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Can you think of anything else it needs?
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Old 05-06-2007, 03:33 PM   #568
piosenniel
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So....if this is all done, I'll move it to Elvenhome. Yes?
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Old 05-06-2007, 05:15 PM   #569
Celuien
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I've nothing more to add... Garstan's story is completed in the MH thread.
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Old 05-06-2007, 05:44 PM   #570
littlemanpoet
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littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
I'd say this is wrapped up.
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Old 05-08-2007, 12:11 PM   #571
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~*~ To Elvenhome ~*~
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