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Old 04-25-2007, 01:03 PM   #1
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up Titles rejected by Frodo, Bilbo and others.

Well, the game is simple and a little silly.
We know that Bilbo went though several titles for his story, so I thought it would be fun to suggest alternate titles for The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit and any other Tolkien work.
Sound good? Then let's go...

The Lord of the Rings could have been called...

- Quest Good.
- The Hobbit 2: The revenge of the killer Hobbit
- Honey, I lost the Ring.
- Sauron's Strange Silliness.
- Rings an' stuff.

The Silmarillion could have been called...

- The Book of shiny things that get stole.
- Book
- Honey, I stole the Silmarils

The Children of Hurin could have been called...

- Honey, I lost the kids.
- Bad stuff in 3D
- Honey, I killed the kids
- Melkor's Malevolent Movements
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 04-25-2007 at 01:12 PM.
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Old 04-25-2007, 01:57 PM   #2
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Thumbs up Great thread, Hookbill!

The Lord of the Rings could have been in separate books as it is:

Book One - How I Met the Riders
Book Two - Two Deaths...
Book Three - ...and One Funeral
Book Four - The Two Hobbits' Tale
Book Five - It Was on Fire When I Lay Down On It
Book Six - same as above.

The Silmarillion could have been called:

- All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

The Akallabth could have been called:

- The Old Man and the Sea

The Children of Hurin could have been called one of these:

- The Old Man and the See
- Beleriand 90210
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"But it is not your own Shire," said Gildor. "Others dwelt here before hobbits were; and others will dwell here again when hobbits are no more. The wide world is all about you: you can fence yourselves in, but you cannot for ever fence it out."

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Old 04-25-2007, 02:07 PM   #3
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
LOTR -"We didn't mean to go to Mordor"

Hobbit "Bilbo Baggins and the Wizard's Quest"
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Old 04-25-2007, 05:01 PM   #4
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Boots Random Title #218

Lord of the Rings:
~Frodo and Sam's Excellent (and Dangerous) Adventure
~A Bunch of People Go Places, and Some of Them Return!
~101 Ways to Injure a Ringbearer
~Why Sauron Sold his Practice

The Hobbit:
~My Story
~Why Dragons Aren't that Scary
~How Many Dwarves Does it Take to Get Rid of a Dragon? (Answer on Page 335)
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Old 04-26-2007, 12:28 AM   #5
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
The Silmarillion:

- The Valla from Hell
- Harry Potter And The Magical Demon
- I Can't believe it's not Lord of the Rings
- Police, Camera, Elves
- Carry On Melkor
- I love the First Age
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Old 04-26-2007, 07:04 AM   #6
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The "Fog on the Barrow-Downs" chapter was almost re-named "Frodo Baggins and the Deathly Hallows"

Or a nice idea for the Silmarillion:
Elves are from Venus, Men are from Mars

Maybe in a Narnia-style for LotR:
The eagle, the Witch-king and the Ring
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Old 04-26-2007, 07:19 AM   #7
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For LotR:
92 Days Later
Around Middle-earth in 92 Days
Bridge of the Khazadum
The Doom Busters
Orodruin Ho!
Boldfinger

For The Tale of Aragorn and Arwen:
Aragorn, Gondor Ranger


For TH:
Blister
Fly, Dragon!
East of Arda
Surprised by Smaug
The Gold and the Dutiful

for CoH:
Turn, Turn, Turn
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Old 04-26-2007, 11:13 AM   #8
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LotR:

Mr. Baggins or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Ring.
Smeagol's Amazing Fishing Adventures.
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Old 04-26-2007, 11:50 AM   #9
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
The Lord of the Rings:

- What we did on holiday
- Rings and Things
- Kings and Rings
- The Rings that sings
- Big Book of Stuff what happened...

Children of Hurin

- Christopher Tolkien Likes your money
- One o' them stories
- Bad luck old chap...
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Old 04-26-2007, 03:15 PM   #10
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Other ideas...

As when everything is going to be renamed except for the Hobbit, we'd read the titles as follows (in order of the Hobbit, LotR, New Shadow, Silmarillion, CoH)

The Hobbit
The Hobbits (with the subtitle "This Time, It's War!")
The Hobbit 3
The Hobbit -1
The Hobbit without the Hobbits
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:27 AM   #11
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We should have caught the Bus to Rivendell.

The first few chapters of LotRs could be called:

Stains, Pains and Autumnhobbles.






.
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Old 04-27-2007, 12:19 PM   #12
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Lord of the Rings:

"To Hell and Back"
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Old 04-28-2007, 01:09 PM   #13
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
White Tree

Before settling on 'The New Shadow' Tolkien tried...

- Not Lord of the Rings
- Let's make up and be Friendly
- The Old bad
- The New Car
- The New House
- The New Hobbit?
- The News.
- The News at ten
- The New Barrow
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Old 04-29-2007, 10:57 AM   #14
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Discards from the deck

More pencilled out titles:

Ringworm

Ringworld (adopted ages later to great acclaim by Larry Niven)

The Eagle Has Landed (optioned ages later by Jack Higgens)

The Four Little Hobbits and How They Grew (amended in a later age by Margaret Sidney)

Wiz Kids (still up for grabs)

A Ring for the Old Gollem (revisited in late Renaissance England)

Blowed Up Good (tagline taken by SCTV in late Seventh Age)

Magic: The Gathering (assumed by a Seventh Age tournament and convention company)
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Old 05-07-2007, 04:01 AM   #15
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

The Lord of the Rings:

- The Ring and it's friends

- Hobbits on the run

- Sauron's happy time goods

- The Return of the bads

- Gandalf's hat goes on an adventure. Also there is a ring involved.

- Mystical adventure about Rings and Lords and wars and all the stuff that was good in The Hobbit but bigger and better and this is a long title.

-

- A Hobbit, A Ring and a Whole world of trouble!

- Not the Three o'clock News.
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Old 06-27-2007, 01:07 AM   #16
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Rejected titles....

For The Lord of the Rings:

"The Ring and I"

"Frodo Vs. the Volcano"



For The Hobbit:

"Bilbo's Thirteen"

"Dragon Tale"



For The Silmarillion:

"Dude, Where's my Jewel?"
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Old 06-27-2007, 12:32 PM   #17
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Ok, here goes...

For The Hobbit:
Bard The Bowman, or how i came to stop worrying and shoot a dragon.

How Smaug was horribly murdered.

Gollums' tale (with what happened before and after)

For The Lord Of The Rings:

Gollums tale 2: On the trail of the Bagginses.

Dungeons and Balrogs. (oh no i di'nt)

Tom Clancy's Ranger Force
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Old 06-27-2007, 01:02 PM   #18
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Bthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
For LotR:

Live Free or Die Hard

No Lunch Today


For The Silmarillion:

Terraforming Middle-earth


For TH:

Roll out the Barrels
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Old 06-27-2007, 01:48 PM   #19
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Hmmm...let's see now.

Sam's suggestion Ring Around the Rosie was immediately rejected.

The Gaffer's All's Well as Ends Better was thought to be a bit too anti-climactic.

Aragorn's A Tree Grows on Mindolluin was considered too sentimental.

Treebeard's Forest Stump was cut down rather quickly.

Saruman's offering Get Shorty was denied as rude.

Elrond's Mr. Smith goes to Rivendell was considered too anachronistic.

And an apologetic Lobelia Sackville-Baggins offered Taming of the Shrew, but it was too topical.
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Old 06-27-2007, 01:52 PM   #20
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morthoron
Treebeard's Forest Stump was cut down rather quickly.
That wasn't a suggested title, that's just something that happened.

Here we have:

The Lord of the Rings...

Gandalf's Freakish eyebrows 2

Saruman's technicolour dream coat

How a Hobbit upstaged the Kings
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Old 06-27-2007, 02:10 PM   #21
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How about for Lord of the Rings-

We Love to Walk (No, the Eagles COULD NOT Have Just Flown Us To Mordor).
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Old 08-19-2007, 08:29 PM   #22
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Treebeard wanted for LotR
"Bilbo dissapears, Frodo gets the ring, four hobbits get stuck in the woods, they go to Bree then Strider takes them to Weathertop by the Witchking, they get to Rivendell, get another man, an elf, and a dwarf, then Gandalf battled the Balrog in Moria, and fell, the rest of the fellowship went to Lothlorien, Boromir got killed, Frodo and Sam left, Merry and Pippin got taken by orks, then Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli went to follow them, Frodo and Sam got Gollum, Gollum leads them to the dead marshes, Merry and Pippins orc gang got Attacked by orks, they escaped into Fangorn and met Treebeard, Frodo and Sam got to the Black Gate then left, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli got to Edoras, Merry and Pippin got to the Ent-Moot, The Battle at helms deep, The ents and Merry and Pippin destroyed Isengaurd, Frodo and Sam went up the Stairs of Cirith Ungol, Pippin gets the Palantir then looks at it, Frodo and Sam get to Shelob's cave, Pippin goes to Minis Tirith with Gandalf, Merry goes to the battle of Pellenor fields and stabs witch king while Eowen did the rest, Pippin saves Merry, Frodo gets poisoned and gets taken by orcs and thus he and Sam get into Mordor, Merry gets to the Houses of Healing, and gets healed, Sam saves Frodo they put on orc garb an walk to Mt. Doom, Pippin goes to a battle in front of the Black Gate and gets smashed by a troll, Frodo and Sam went and destroyed the ring with Gollums help, They get rescued and come back to Minus Tirith, and go home, and Beat the ruffians and Saurman in the Scouring, Sam gets married, They get to the gray havens and Frodo sails off, "Well I'm back" he said.

But Merry and Pippin said that this was Ent fashion and it was too long, Bilbo and Frodo agreed.

Merry and Pippin also wanted "The Adventures of Merry and Pippin"
That was declined because it was not just about Merry and Pippin.

Also some other suggestions-
  • Some Hobbits and a Ring
  • Gollums Quest: The Search for "My Presssioussssss"
  • Hey Lets go and get Killed
  • Smeagol is nice: He lead Frodo and Sam into Mordor didn't he?
  • Were all going to starve!
  • How Pippin is "A Fool of A Took"

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Old 08-19-2007, 09:21 PM   #23
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The Hobbit
- My army can beat up your amry
-

Lord of the Rings
- My Pony Bill
- The Eagles save my life again
- Hobbits and a Horcrux
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Old 09-01-2007, 12:34 PM   #24
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
White Tree

The Hobbit:
- Out of the Silent Shire (C S Lewis objected)
- The War of the Wolds (H G Wells sent Tolkien an angry letter for this one)

The Lord of the Rings:
- The Golden Ke- I mean Ring (Andrew Lang was suspicious)
- The Hobbit's Guide to the Galaxy (The ghost of Douglas Adams traveled through time to say 'no')
- Pirates of the corsairs: The Curse of the Gold Ring (Now it's just getting silly)

But the Silmarillion could very possibly have been called:
- Space monsters and Sumo wrestlers. No, SERIOUSLY!
- Snow White And The Seven Sons of Feanor

A little known tale about the later life of Aragorn and Arwen was titled:
- Honey, I Forgot Our Anniversary OR How Aragorn died by being impaled on the tower of Ecthelion.
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Old 09-02-2007, 03:49 PM   #25
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Boots Random Title #731

For The Sil:
~"Men are from Middle Earth, Elves are from Valinor"

For LOTR
~"A tale of 2 Men, 4 Hobbits, An Elf, A Dwarf, and a Wizard"

After deciding the last was too wordy, Tolkien tried this one,

~ "A tale of 2 Towers"

But then decided it resembled other classics a little too closely.
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Old 10-09-2007, 11:45 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Morai View Post
For The Sil:
After deciding the last was too wordy, Tolkien tried this one,

~ "A tale of 2 Towers"

But then decided it resembled other classics a little too closely.
Hehehe, that's funny. Yup, another classic indeed!
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Old 02-28-2008, 02:38 PM   #27
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The Eye

For TH:
-Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers

For LOTR:
-Can't we just sweep it under a rug?
-How to get to Mordor without really trying.



For ROTK(the movie)

-Gee, that Big Gulp was a baaaad idea!
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Old 02-28-2008, 03:34 PM   #28
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Enw is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Enw is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Enw is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
For lotr:
-the aventures of hucklemerry (pip)pin
-Saurons tale, or: how I lost the ring and found it again, and thn it got destroyed
-Pesky hobbits strike again
-The diary of a young hobbit
-How to die and come back again, only whiter and more powerful: a guide to incarnation, By Gandalf
-Ring busters
or

for fotr:
-the Gandalf

for tt:
-the Gandalf retuns

(I still haven't found the next one, maybe "The gondor king")
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Old 03-11-2008, 07:01 AM   #29
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-Too much Pipe-weed (Hey, they chose the long way, didn't they? I rest my case.)
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Old 07-12-2008, 02:17 PM   #30
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Enw is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Enw is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Enw is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
Or possibly:
When movies are possible, make one about this and get rich.

alternatively:
How to find a ring lost by your fellow Maia- A guide by Gandalf.
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Old 07-12-2008, 02:28 PM   #31
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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The ideas for Roverandom ranged from odd to insane...

- Caterandom (crossed out with the note 'not good')
- Motharandom (scribbled out with 'stupid' written beside it)
- Three blokes walk into a pub (considered for a while, then stabbed with a spoon)
- Mr Sandman, give me your shoes! (A late night effort by Tolkien)
- The Man in the Moon's least favorite Tuesday (scrapped when Tolkein realised it was a Thursday)
- Wizards and Trousers: a study (back when it was a more academic piece)

But a few of the ideas for 'The Letters of Father Christmas' were too bizarre...

- April Fools in December (Almost gave Christopher Tolkien a heart attack... at age 5)
- Father Christmas: Abominable slave owner of the Frozen wastes (this version included some... unnerving illustrations...)
- Where Noldor go when they die... (scrapped as a title after Tolkien realised that Feanor would burn down Father Christmas' beard in about a second).
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 12-12-2010, 09:30 PM   #32
Galadriel55
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hookbill the Goomba View Post
The Lord of the Rings:
- Rings and Things
- Kings and Rings
- The Rings that sings
How about "Winnging Kings with Ringing Rings and Sining Things who eat chicken Wings"
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Last edited by Galadriel55; 12-12-2010 at 09:38 PM.
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Old 12-13-2010, 04:47 AM   #33
Pitchwife
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Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlrien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlrien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlrien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlrien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlrien.
For REM fans

The Hobbit:
How the Ring was won...

LotR:
...and where it got us

LotR Book VI specifically:
This is the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine)
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