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Old 07-13-2004, 03:14 PM   #1
ninlaith
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What if's, franchises, and humor

Ever ponder those "What If's" that you wish you could see the outcome to? Ever have any ideas about the kind of merchandise that could be created? Any humorous thoughts? I'd like to know them.

Example: Cars

If Frodo had to drive the ring to Mordor he would ride in this. With a V-6 engine and 6 cylinders the Ford 4x4 Ringbearer....He's not the only one who carries it.

Last edited by ninlaith; 07-13-2004 at 03:26 PM.
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Old 07-13-2004, 03:59 PM   #2
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Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
This thread topic, as a humorous one, is most appropriate on the Middle-Earth Mirth forum - I'm moving it there, where those interested may read and post on it.
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Old 07-13-2004, 04:54 PM   #3
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Ok, I have a couple.

~ Tanks
Both sides would definately use these at Pellenor Fields. It might even make things a little more even. Although there would probably be more orcs than tanks, the Gondarian soldiers would have no trouble running them all over.

~Teflon Pans
The Hobbits would definately see this as a much needed improvement to their muchly overused kitchens. No sticking, no scrubbing, so they can spend more time eating then cleaning up.
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Old 07-13-2004, 05:12 PM   #4
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One of the Nine I like the Teflon pans...very clever . and thanks for the move. I'm new at this so I need all the help I can get.
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Old 07-13-2004, 08:33 PM   #5
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I got something better than a car. A helicopter! Frodo can hover over Mt. Doom, drop the ring in, and fly back. Also, for the Nazgul, fireproof vests!
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Old 07-13-2004, 09:36 PM   #6
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very good. I never thought of that one. Wait...mental picture...done..that was easy we'll be home in time for luncheon.
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Old 07-13-2004, 10:23 PM   #7
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Elven cloaks are nice...but I'm sure Harry Potter's invisibility cloak would've fared much better for all...
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:14 AM   #8
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helicopters, shmelicotpers...

Helicopter is a good idea, but we need greater scope! Why bother yourself flying, when you can use Rivendell Nuclear Plant facilities? One Ring in, a lot of cheap power to light elven lanterns out...
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Old 07-14-2004, 10:21 AM   #9
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What about giving the ring to a really large bird to fly to Mount Doom and drop into the Cracks of Doom?
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Old 07-14-2004, 11:12 AM   #10
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Thumbs up

yeah just have one of the eagles do it. It'll be fine.
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Old 07-14-2004, 11:23 AM   #11
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I have an idea, what about computers, or a mail system. Just send the Ring to: Mount Doom PO box 18526 Mount Doom, Mordor, then be done with it.
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Old 07-14-2004, 02:37 PM   #12
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good one. I have a joke I've been thinking about for awhile.

setting: Karadhras

Legolas walking on top of snow and falls through

Frodo looks up and says "Yeah, you're real magical!"
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Old 07-14-2004, 04:49 PM   #13
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Boots

How about constructing a mount doom replica! Way up north past the shire. Make it within walking distance for Frodo.
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Old 07-15-2004, 08:51 AM   #14
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good one. He'll be home before dark.
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Old 07-15-2004, 09:18 AM   #15
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Can you only imagine the marketing opportunities for Stetson in Rohan?
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Old 07-15-2004, 11:40 AM   #16
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Silmaril

They could really sell OFF Bug Repellent,
With all of those bugs in the Marshes they needed it!
And the last thing they needed was Frodo killing over because of West Nile.
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Old 07-15-2004, 12:15 PM   #17
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Thumbs up

thanks for the Stetson one! I think I busted a gut! and for the OFF one...I just have one thing to say to you...

What do they eat when they can't get Hobbit?!

Thanks guys you've really been making this thread worth while
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Old 07-15-2004, 05:29 PM   #18
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Silmaril

what about cell phones? all Frodo would've needed to do in Bree (wondering, "Where the heck is Ganalf??") was call Gandalf's cell. No more worries. Then Faramir could've just called Aragorn to find out if it really was Boromir that he saw floating down Anduin.

In two words: endless possiblities.
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Old 07-15-2004, 07:12 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elronds_daughter
In two words: endless possiblities.
I quite agree. If the Frodo and the gang lived here and now, man would they have an easy time. They could take the earliest flight to Mordor, take a little tour in Ithilien, then go with a police squad and drop it in. Then, maybe a little sight seeing at the grand Gondor, there's been a recent fire there, but the small police force is doing fine with it all. Then you take the earliest flight home sitting comfortably in a boeing 747.
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Old 07-16-2004, 07:42 AM   #20
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very very funny .
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Old 07-16-2004, 12:05 PM   #21
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Silmaril

you know, ninlaith, you could chime in with more of your own suggestions, instead of letting us take over. anywho, here's my ligit reason for posting...

Bilbo's birthday party would have been a lot easier to put on if there'd been a Party City somewhere. streamers, party favors, etc. wonderful convenience, really.
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Old 07-16-2004, 01:36 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elronds_daughter
Bilbo's birthday party would have been a lot easier to put on if there'd been a Party City somewhere. streamers, party favors, etc. wonderful convenience, really.
I quite agree. Very much easier with Party City.

Although, think of it. If the book happened in this world setting, would there be a book? They'd have so many conveinences(sp?) that the whole reason for the books making would be nothing. Modern technology could probably just take care of the ring where Frodo lived. That would be wierd.
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Old 07-16-2004, 01:53 PM   #23
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Of course The Council of Elrond would have been held as a webchat..........

And Gandalf could have checked out the ring on Google without all that tiresome rummaging in the archives of Minas Tirith.......
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Old 07-16-2004, 02:03 PM   #24
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Thumbs up All very funny

I wonder how much bleach Saruman had to use to keep his cloak looking clean?
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Old 07-16-2004, 02:06 PM   #25
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Silmaril

I can just see the modern day equivilant of the Destruction of the Ring: no doubt Frodo would have to toss it into a nuclear reactor somewhere. The resultant explosion would destroy Sauron, his minions, his lands... Mordor The Parking Lot.
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Old 07-16-2004, 02:18 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil
I can just see the modern day equivilant of the Destruction of the Ring: no doubt Frodo would have to toss it into a nuclear reactor somewhere. The resultant explosion would destroy Sauron, his minions, his lands... Mordor The Parking Lot.
Very funny. All of you, very funny. Although, the Nuclear Plant of Sauron would be a good start to taking over the world.... *gets lost in own thoughts*
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Old 07-16-2004, 06:11 PM   #27
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Thumbs up

you know that scene in Moria where they're surrounded by orcs before the balrog comes out? I'm always waiting for one of the orcs to say

"What's in your wallet?"
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Old 07-16-2004, 08:19 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ninlaith
"What's in your wallet?"
Ah, very funny. Very funny all.
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Old 07-17-2004, 04:45 PM   #29
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Silmaril

That reminds me...
Sam could have saved time and food if he used light weight, easy to store Ziplock bags and Gladwear bowls!!!!! He didn't even think about foam plates, cups, and bowls. He could have saved time and it wouldn't have been so heavy.
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Old 07-17-2004, 10:57 PM   #30
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Old 07-18-2004, 09:42 AM   #31
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Thumbs up funny, funny, funny

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if Frodo just said;

"Ehh, I don't feel like going on a journey today."
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Old 07-18-2004, 04:42 PM   #32
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It would be so much better if Gandalf had a really big fire extenguisher during the confrontation w/ the balrog.....the only thing that would be left of him is rock or ash. It would be better if the whole fellowship had their own.
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Old 07-19-2004, 11:56 AM   #33
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Yeah giant ghostbuster type fire extinguishers. That would take care of the Balrog and save them time.
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Old 07-20-2004, 12:41 PM   #34
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What if they came out with Green Dragon Brew sold by the flagon? Personally I think they would make a killing.
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Old 07-20-2004, 01:03 PM   #35
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Oh ya I could wait three more years for that even though I don't like brews. It would be worth it!!!!!! Except I would like a pint!
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Old 07-20-2004, 01:11 PM   #36
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I was just thinking so watch out!
What would of happened or been said if the table that Merry and Pippin where dancing on broke???? Just something to ponder?
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Old 07-20-2004, 06:36 PM   #37
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Now that's funny! But what about Pip and Merry? they could be hurt? But it's still funny.
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Old 07-21-2004, 04:58 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ninlaith
What if they came out with Green Dragon Brew sold by the flagon? Personally I think they would make a killing.
heh, heh... definitly. count me in.
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Old 07-21-2004, 05:50 PM   #39
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I was just thinking about this the other day. You know how Frodo wakes up in Rivendell and Elrond says "Welcome to Rivendell.....Frodo Baggins." Well what if instead he said "Welcome to Rivendell.....Mr. Anderson."
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Old 07-21-2004, 06:14 PM   #40
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Sick of losing electrolytes through tiring battles? Looking for a great substitution for water? Gaterade... the official drink of the War of the Ring.
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