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Old 07-21-2004, 06:28 PM   #41
Morsul the Dark
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Pipe

ok here's one

Sam in scientist outfit walks out "hi I'm Samwise Gamgee and as yiou know Mister Frodo and I walked from the shire all the way to Mount Doom. and it would have been hell even with our leathery feet if it hadn't been for Dr. Scholl's."

or Saron walks past Frodo as he's about to throw the ring in the fire witch king says "Lord Sauron aren't you worried?" "no I'm gellin'" Dr. Scholl's gels
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Old 07-21-2004, 08:05 PM   #42
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Thumbs up

heh heh heh. Very funny. Very very good. Bravo
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Old 07-21-2004, 08:24 PM   #43
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1420!

Bud Light now less carbs all the taste! (Pippin enters) I'm getting One
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Old 07-23-2004, 09:12 PM   #44
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Gamgee Gardening Tools now available at your local retail stores worldwide!
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Old 07-25-2004, 12:20 AM   #45
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1420! Blooper!

Actually, a great blooper would've been if Elijah Wood had just like HURDLED the ring in2 the water at that part in the 1st movie-or if he had dropped it while saving Sam, and then he just didn't care. LOL srry that idea amuses me
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Old 07-25-2004, 08:46 AM   #46
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Pipe

Just so you know "chatspeech" is not allowed "in2" should be written "into" and such just be careful about that

here's one if gimli and legalos tripped and dropped there weaopns and accidently pick up each other's and low and behold Gim li is a better archer than legalos
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Old 07-25-2004, 10:13 AM   #47
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Thumbs up

That would be sort of a smack in the face for Legolas but it would be funny to see a dwarf weilding a bow...heheh....
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Old 07-25-2004, 11:40 AM   #48
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The Use of Cell Phones: Gandalf calling Theoden: Hey Theoden! Long time no see! Right, well, we need some re-inforcemence here! So, if you could, you know, muster your Rohirrmir, that'd be great. Ciao.
Theoden after hearing call: Hello, Westfold, Snowbord, rondevous at Dunland.


The Use of Holograms: Orcs are surrounding Minas Tirith. Gandalf summons a hologram of a Balrog. Orcs go back to Mordor.


The use of energy bars: Sam: Frodo! We're so close, but we'll never make it to Mt. Doom.
Frodo: Not so fast Sam! I've got a power bar!
They eat the power bar and destory the ring.
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fanor, and there he slew Finw King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finw alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 07-25-2004, 02:59 PM   #49
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That was absolutely wonderful. I commend you. Keep posting ones like that!
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Old 07-25-2004, 06:24 PM   #50
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You talkin to me? Sorry, had to make a reference to deNiro there! Anyways, glad to do it! Here's another:


The use of GPS: In Emyn Muil, Frodo and Sam are wandering for days. Then, thanks to GPS, they track the signal on their cell phone and make it out safely
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fanor, and there he slew Finw King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finw alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 07-25-2004, 06:31 PM   #51
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Yes you Perky Ent! Those are so funny. I laugh for so long after reading your posts I even find myself chuckling later throughout the day. Absolutely funny! This thread is turning out better than I expected! I just wish more people would post. It's all really funny!
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Old 07-25-2004, 06:36 PM   #52
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Use of Google.com

Gandalf quickly finds all the information he needs in a matter of minutes along with lots of annoying pop-ups
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Old 07-25-2004, 06:41 PM   #53
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White Tree

If you like them so much, why don't you rate them lol Google! That's awesome! Here's another:


The Use of eBay: Elrond is about to give Aragorn The Ring of Barahir, but Aragorn stops him
Elrond: Take it, it's yours!
Aragorn: That's ok! i already have one!
Elrond: Already have one?
Aragorn: Yeah! I bought off of some snowman in Forchel. It was a great bargan.
Elrond: So, can I keep it?
Aragorn: Actually, I was thinking of selling it. I'm just $20 away from buying the The White Tree.
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fanor, and there he slew Finw King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finw alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.'
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Old 07-25-2004, 06:48 PM   #54
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Pipe

ebay thats gereat!

let's see...

a grappling hook Gandalf saves himself while balrog continues to fall
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Old 07-25-2004, 07:52 PM   #55
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oh dear...that's pretty funny
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Old 07-29-2004, 01:21 PM   #56
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I was thinking

It would be insanely hard to be a Middle-Earth real-estate agent. Imagine trying to sell a place like Moria.

Wheww we're finally here. Nice brisk little three day journey isn't it? As you can see it's very spacious and palace like. Plenty of room for everyone. There is a little Orc-infestation. You might want to call the Orc-in man for that. Now lets talk about insurance here. I think you want Balrog insurance, Orc-damage, and Invasion insurance. Oh and i must warn you about the Watcher. He's pretty docile unless you start throwing rocks in the water. Oh and if you ever find The doors of Durin again the password is Mellon. Now that's Mel-lon. Like the Elvish word not the mellon that you eat. So should we start the paperwork?
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Old 07-30-2004, 09:16 PM   #57
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Pipe

Trying to Sell the paths of the dead

besides the gohosts this is very lovely you will need an excersist though
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Old 07-31-2004, 03:51 PM   #58
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very funny Morsul!

Lothlorien I think would be easy in some aspects.

It's a beautiful walk isn't it. Sorry you all had to be blind folded all the way through it, but if you're nice to your neighbors maybe they'll let go without them next time. I hear you like the waterfront and the whole boating scene so I think you'll enjoy it here. It's very quiet, peaceful, and safe which will save you on insurance. You've got Galadriel's mirror which can be helpful in preventing accidents. There's just one problem. You're going to be spending a fortune on candles. So for my gift at the gift giving ceremony I will not charge you for staying here. Stay as long as you like. But I warn you it might be longer than you think.
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Old 08-05-2004, 10:48 AM   #59
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Nooooooooooo I fear my thread might be going down in flames!!!
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Old 08-06-2004, 12:23 PM   #60
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Oh yes the Dead Marshes!!!!! What a lovely spot!
It would be a vacation hot spot but just don't look into the light!
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Old 08-06-2004, 12:28 PM   #61
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Hey Ninlaith
Would the Fellow Ship have drank Pepsi or Coke...
What do you think?
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Old 08-06-2004, 01:56 PM   #62
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The fellowship drinks coke Mordor drinks, makes, and ships Pepsi!
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Old 08-06-2004, 05:51 PM   #63
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I think they would drink Vanilla Coke. It goes down smoother and it has sort of a Middle-Earth essence to it....
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Old 08-06-2004, 07:16 PM   #64
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i like thinking that raspberry schweppes is like miruvor sometimes too.
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Old 08-06-2004, 08:39 PM   #65
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Tom Bombadil having watched a 24hour Bll cosby marathon decides his tune too

Hey hey hey dadillio
hey hey hey dadillio
etc...

(fat abbot voice)
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Old 08-07-2004, 08:43 AM   #66
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If only Frodo drank a solution of sugar + spice + everything nice + chemical X

then he would be able to fly to Mordor and destroy the ring easily.

Although he would have to live with large eyes and stop crime before bedtime.
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Old 08-07-2004, 10:30 AM   #67
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heheheh those are good
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Old 08-07-2004, 10:43 AM   #68
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one day at Hogwartz

Dumbldore:settle down we have a special guest today Gandalf the White Mr. White if you please say a few words...

Gandalf: But of course the secret to being a good wizard is in the wand now I hear you all bought yours at ALevanders but there is only one wand for me, Wands of Valinor... "Wands of Valinor theyre just better"
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Old 08-07-2004, 11:56 AM   #69
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What a market hole there would have been for a radar during the War of the Ring! Very handy when spotting flying Nazguls (or Nazguli...).

Hey, a random mental picture: what if LotR was a Disney animation. At the Pelennor fields orcs are gathering and Gondorians are marching out of the city. All draw out their swords and - - burst into a song! "Heeyy, we are scary orcs and we want to conquer yor little cityyyy...tralalalalaaaah."
Or better yet, a slum musical. There are East Side (Mordor) vs. West Side (the rest). And there is a big gang fight about the one BlingBling that rules them all...
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Old 08-07-2004, 12:12 PM   #70
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Pipe

Imagine if one of the Nazgul had a wife

Wife-I told you we would get lost
Nazgul-We're not lost we're going to the shire this is a shorcut
W-thats what you said three hours ago why dont you stop and ask for directions?
N-Because I don't need directions why is it whenever we run late you blame my Riding skills?
W-Well a woman would already have found this Baggins person and gotten the ring by now!
N-Fine!! #@#@$@@$....there's someone...Shire! Baggins!

(and thats why the nazgul was grumpy)
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Old 08-07-2004, 07:06 PM   #71
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Silmaril

Quote:
The fellowship drinks coke. Mordor drinks, makes, and ships Pepsi!
i'm with you there!!! but i picture Boromir as sort of a Pepsi guy....


Quote:
I think they would drink Vanilla Coke. It goes down smoother and it has sort of a Middle-Earth essence to it.
except Boromir.

*ducks from the pummeling she recieves from Boromir and Pepsi fans* I'M KIDDING!!!! the forum's called Middle Earth Mirth for a reason, people!
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Old 08-08-2004, 08:43 AM   #72
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Those are all very good. I especially like the Nazgul and his wife one. You know come to think of it that's probably why the Nazgul killed the watchman a Hobbiton. They have to take out their frustration somehow.
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Old 08-28-2004, 11:03 AM   #73
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Thumbs up

Ok, hears a kind of extremely corny one.

Elrond, a formal suet.
"Mr Aragorn, welcome back! Do you like what I've done with the place?"

Sorry, could not resist.
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Old 09-22-2004, 04:25 PM   #74
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You know i was thinking..they should make Middle-Earth traveling cookware for college students...walkin' from class to class you work up a powerful hunger. I'll warrant they'd make a bundle...no pun intended.
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Old 09-23-2004, 03:02 PM   #75
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HaHaHA and to go with the Ninlaith's Cookware they could come up with a "Hall Horn". Sounds stupid but just think about it... Your walking down the hall in high school or across campus at college and you can't find you friend in all of the crowds so you sound your horn and your friend sounds their's and you find each other. It would save on yelling!
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Old 09-23-2004, 04:24 PM   #76
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I personaly wonder how it would have turned out if the Rohirim had lassos and six-shooters. Orcs should have muskets to make it fair.

Also I would like to see one Gondorian shoot down a Nazgul with a Stinger Missle!

Or what would happen if the Lord of the Nazgul and Eowyn were Kung Fu fighting?
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Old 09-23-2004, 04:48 PM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zebedee
Or what would happen if the Lord of the Nazgul and Eowyn were Kung Fu fighting?
ok, i just about laughed my head off at the picture that brought to my mind.


what if....

TV dinners had been "invented" (if you can call it that): Eowyn asks if we want any stew, and we have an excuse! Hurrah!

TV itself had been invented. No need to use a palantir to find out the news. just flip on one of the many divisions of M-ENN (Middle-Earth Network News)
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Old 09-24-2004, 08:55 PM   #78
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Yeah Himhenwen, I wish i had one of those horns for myself...And Zebedee I have just one thing to say to you.......Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting!
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Old 09-28-2004, 03:21 PM   #79
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Instead of a pipe, I think Gandalf should smoke cigars.

Also, what if Elrond hosted a talk radio show, and Pippen always called but never got through.
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Old 10-11-2004, 11:53 AM   #80
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Silmaril

Look what I found.
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