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Old 11-03-2006, 05:04 PM   #1
Legolasfan1
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Tolkien How to Annoy Sauron(a.k.a How to get yourself killed)

My apolagies if anyone else has started this thread, I thought I searched enough, but you never know.

1. Skip around singing for he's a jolly good fellow
2.Put daisy chains around Sauron's room
3.Keep gushing about Legolas' clothes and how you want to get some just like them
4.Dye his armour hot pink
5.At meeting's, blow kisses to others
6.Sing your questions


You guys think of some because my ideas have run out
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Old 11-04-2006, 12:40 AM   #2
Estelyn Telcontar
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Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!Estelyn Telcontar has reached the Cracks of Doom and destroyed the Ring!
This sounds like a fun thread for the Mirth forum. I'm moving it there - enjoy reading and posting!
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Old 11-04-2006, 01:06 AM   #3
mormegil
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mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
How about taking his ring?
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Old 11-04-2006, 02:06 AM   #4
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Sounds like lots-o-fun...

When having a talk with Sauron...

- Ask, "What is your policy on play-fighting?"
- Shout "Will you marry me?" really loudly at him so all his servants can hear him.
- Tell him "You should see my bedroom - it’s full of Star Trek posters!"
- Seriously anger him by saying, "I’m going to count to ten, and when I open my eyes I want you to be naked."
- Say, "May the Force be with you." After every sentence.
- Constantly ask, "Is that a wig?"
- Tell him "You should see my bedroom - it’s full of Geese!"
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Old 11-04-2006, 08:38 AM   #5
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mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
While inspecting Barad-dur ask him "is constructed of legos?"
I absolutely love your new orc captian...what that's your mother?
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Old 11-04-2006, 09:53 AM   #6
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Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Bęthberry is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
The Eye

Don't you think you could use a good, new monacle?

My, what a quaint shape you have assumed!
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Old 11-04-2006, 10:41 AM   #7
Mithalwen
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Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Mithalwen is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Try to sell him double glazing.

Suggest Listerine might help with the black breath...
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Old 11-04-2006, 10:58 AM   #8
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Random Titles get annoying

"Have you considered a contact lense? I think you would look much better in blue."

Or

"My your eye seems a little bloodshot, do you want some eyedrops?"
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Old 11-04-2006, 12:53 PM   #9
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

Saying, "Sauron is so stupid! Look at his face - he loves me poking him with this broom!" is probably not wise.
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Old 11-04-2006, 01:23 PM   #10
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For (movie) Sauron: Let a few dozen white doves fly... straight into the big search-light eye.

For (book) Sauron: Take the One ring to him, but along make a few hundred copies.... and play "Deal or No Deal" with him, tossing the ones not chosen to Orodurin.
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Old 11-04-2006, 01:32 PM   #11
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Leaf

Sing your questions

Shout wow after every sentence of his lecture

Watch people through binoculars
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Old 11-04-2006, 01:35 PM   #12
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Insert witticisms like "It's better than a sharp stick in the eye!" or "eye'll be seeing you!" or "My, what a big eye you have!" into every sentence, and then double over with laughter.
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Old 11-04-2006, 01:53 PM   #13
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Thumbs up

During one of Saurons speeches or lectures, shout "I love it!" really, really, really, REALLY loudly every seven minutes.

Get the plastic thing from the middle of a Kinder Egg, and put it in your mouth and spit it out at him really hard!

Ask him if he wants a palantir fight.

Hand him a shopping list full of really funny items, such as 'Eye cream', 'monocles', 'contact lenses', and 'EYES' and say, "If you could get those to me by three o'clock, that'd be great!"

Then poke him with a stick.

Turn up to a 'join the Mordor Army' interview session, wearing one of those novelty inflatable sumo wrestler suits. Only with a tie.

Fire all of his clothes and armour out of a catapult into Mount Doom... For a joke!

Bring a flamingo to Barad-Dur and try to ride it around the battlements.
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Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 11-04-2006 at 01:56 PM.
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Old 11-04-2006, 05:06 PM   #14
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mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
Call him 'Pookey' frequently.

Have him wear a bonnet.

Tell him "Voldermort could kick your butt"
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Old 11-04-2006, 06:31 PM   #15
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White Tree

Quite seriously state that pink is the new black in defense of why you painted his chambers a blushing pink pastel colour.
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Old 11-04-2006, 06:47 PM   #16
Legolasfan1
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Tolkien

Bring him a seeing eye rooster as a B-day present

Adress him as your excellency then say may your eye never dry out
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Old 11-04-2006, 08:31 PM   #17
mormegil
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mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.mormegil is a guest at the Prancing Pony.
WEDGIE!!!
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Old 11-05-2006, 05:29 PM   #18
Morai
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Boots Random Title #643

Send him a bag of brass rings from the 25 cent machines.
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Old 11-06-2006, 02:58 PM   #19
Farael
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For his birth-day, prepare him a big white cake and sing "For he's a jolly GOOD fellow, for he's a jolly GOOD fellow..."
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Old 11-07-2006, 02:26 AM   #20
Erue
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Flash photography!
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Old 11-08-2006, 01:11 PM   #21
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Tell him, "If you don’t fulfil your dream of establishing Europe’s premier freak show soon it’ll be too late!"

Put Jelly in his contact lenses.

Pretend to die but in an obviously fake way saying, "Woe is me! If only Sauron wasn't so dreadfully ugly, I could stand to live! But alas no! Woe! Woe! Woe!"

Circulate posters of Sauron in a dress.

Then give one to him.

When he is talking to you, release a balloon so that it "razzes" around the room.

Turn up to a private meeting with a dwarf, and refuse to explain, or to introduce him to Sauron or any one else. When they ask, just say: “You don’t mind, do you?”

Poke him.

Do all of the above in the space of half an hour.
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Old 11-08-2006, 02:20 PM   #22
Farael
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Warning: Farael does not condone the use of cigarettes

Use his eye to light up.
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Old 11-10-2006, 05:52 PM   #23
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Leaf

Ask him were his eyelashes are

Ask him how expensive single fireproof contact lenses are

Say " Who's the lucky girl?" and point to his ring

Give him and the ringwraiths pet names

Get him drunk

Start singing elvish ballads and recite their poems when he's around

Tell him he'll make a great villian someday

Have a staring contest with him and win

( Some are lame but that's ok)
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Old 11-10-2006, 06:00 PM   #24
Laleena
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Leaf

Ask him how he can hear with no ears
Play peek-a-boo with him
When his evil plans fail pat him on the head..er eyelid and tell him he'll do better
next time
Pop up everywhere and yell I see YOU
Ask his opionin on elves
Make friendship bracelets for you and him
Have a sleepover
Poke him in the eye
Play M.A.S.H with him and give him the choices of Galadriel,Legolas, or Elrond



I'm on a roll, but they are calling me for dishes *sigh*
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Last edited by Laleena; 11-10-2006 at 06:04 PM.
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Old 11-10-2006, 07:41 PM   #25
Morai
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Boots

Ask him: "Have you ever tried wearing a monacle?"
"Are you reeaaaaaaaaallly the Dark Lord? Or are you just an impersanator?"
"Do you visit your eye doctor often?"
"Does the Mouth of Sauron talk your ears off?"
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Old 11-10-2006, 08:19 PM   #26
Farael
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If you are the dark lord, howcome you are represented with a big eye on fire? Fire makes light, and that's not too dark!
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Old 11-11-2006, 11:03 AM   #27
Rikae
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Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.Rikae is wading through snowdrifts on Redhorn.
Suggest he replace the Nazgul's horses with migratory coconuts.
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Old 11-24-2006, 07:20 PM   #28
Merrivere
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Two words:


Pepper. Spray.
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Old 11-25-2006, 02:04 AM   #29
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Fill Barad dur full of rice

... and then pump water in.

Or

Fill Barad Dur full of Jelly.
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Old 11-25-2006, 10:41 AM   #30
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Boots

Turn Mt. Doom into one giant icebox.

Sell his ring, his Nazgul, and his orks on E-bay.
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Old 11-25-2006, 01:47 PM   #31
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The Eye

Quote:
Poke him in the eye
Ah dang, Laleena already got it.
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Old 11-26-2006, 01:19 PM   #32
Laleena
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Leaf

Note to all Downers

You can just call me Leena
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Old 11-27-2006, 12:55 AM   #33
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Answer "yo mama" to everything he says.
Tell him after he loses the War of the Ring "you suck, Darth Vader could do better than you"
Say "you look better in the movie"
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Old 12-13-2006, 04:18 AM   #34
mhagain
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Compare everything he says or does to Melkor.

"Melkor wouldn't have done it that way". "Melkor knew how to treat his minions properly". "Melkor wouldn't have been dumb enough to lose a piddly ring". "If Melkor was here now I bet this wouldn't be happening". "Melkor would have overthrown Minas Tirith easily enough".
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Old 12-13-2006, 07:55 PM   #35
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tell him the ring makes him look fat
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Old 12-15-2006, 01:33 AM   #36
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Ask him: What's the similarity between a Dark Lord of Mordor and a Kit-Kat, then tell him that a Kit-Kat has four fingers also.


or


Tell him that when he is feeling lonely and needs someone to talk to, he could always give you a Ring.
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Old 12-16-2006, 04:07 PM   #37
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Pipe

Go trick-or-treating to Barad-Dur in a Huon costume.
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Old 12-18-2006, 08:21 AM   #38
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The Eye

Whenver he tells you to do somthing... say "Aye! Get it... you're an eye."
That's not funny... but i'll think of one that is.
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Old 01-08-2007, 11:33 PM   #39
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The Eye

Tell him the MERS (Middle Earth Revenue Service) sent him a notice that he owes 3,000 years of back payroll taxes.

He has to find the Form 9731 used in each calendar year (by the Elves' reckoning) and fill one out for each minion of Mordor for each year he/she/it was on the payroll, sign them, make copies of all of the signed originals for Mordor's files and mail them, along with payment, to PO Box VALAR-01. By next Monday.

Additionally, he has to fill out the necessary forms for all private contractors (i.e. Shelob, Saruman, the Corsairs of Umbar) for every year they rendered service to the Dark Lord of a worth greater than 100 silver pennies, in triplicate. Page one must be sent to the MERS. By next Monday. Page two must be sent to the contractors themselves and the third page is, of course, for the files of Mordor.

Then he has to compute the estimated local unemployment insurance for Mordor for the upcoming calendar year, make his initial deposit to cover them, and make sure he has enough Form M9731s for all his minions to fill out for the upcoming calendar year (Elves' reckoning).

And he's being audited. Next Monday.
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Old 01-09-2007, 04:03 AM   #40
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Get an overweight Orc to wear Sauron's armour and parade around in it doing poor impressions of The Dark Lord.

OR

Show up to a meeting in one of those inflatable sumo-wrestler suits.
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