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Old 05-01-2006, 06:58 PM   #44
The Kinslayer
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Here are some changes that I would like to introduce:
He it was that in his youth, bettering the work of Rumil, made those letters which bear his name, and which ever since the Eldar have used; yet this was the least of his works. For he it was that first of the Noldor discovered how gems greater and brighter than those of the Earth might be made with skill. And the first gems that Fëanor devised were white and colourless, but being set under starlight they would blaze with blue and white fires brighter than Helluin. And other crystals he made, wherein things far away could be seen small but clear, as with the eyes of the Eagles of Manwë. <VT39 He is said also, {being then in his youth before the days of his discontent,} to have learned mostly from Aulë “more than any other of the Eldar in Arda” of the language of the Valar. {This he got mostly from Aule}> Seldom were the hand and mind of Fëanor at rest.
I wonder if we should replace the Mahtan name with Sarmo as with note 61 of the Shibboleth. I think that because the name Sarmo comes with an ?, we should not change it.

Her father, Mahtan, <SF [who] was most widely known as Urundil 'copper-lover' >, was a great smith, and among those of the Noldor most dear to the heart of Aulë, <SF for he was an Aulendur and entered into {Aulë’s} [the Vala’s] service>. <SF He usually wore a band of copper about his head. His hair was not as dark or black as was that of most of the Ñoldor, but brown, and had glints of coppery-red in it. > Of Mahtan Nerdanel learned much of crafts that women of the Noldor seldom used: the making of things of metal and stone.
Seven sons she bore to Fëanor, and it is not recorded in the histories of old that any others of the Eldar had so many children. <SF Of {Nerdanel's}[their] seven children the oldest, and the twins (a very rare thing among the Eldar) had [brown] hair [with coppery-red in it] {of this kind}. The eldest also wore a copper circlet.> With her wisdom at first she restrained Fëanor when the fire of his heart burned too hot; but his later deeds grieved her and they became estranged.
Most fair of all was Melkor's countenance to the Eldar, and he aided them in many works, if they would let him. The Vanyar indeed held him in suspicion, for they dwelt in the light of the Trees and were content; and to the Teleri he gave little heed, deeming them of little worth, tools too weak for his designs. But the Noldor took delight in the hidden knowledge that he could reveal to them{;}<OK {In Valinor} [for] Melkor used the Quenya with such mastery that all the Eldar were amazed, for his use could not be bettered, scarce equalled even, by the poets and the loremasters"{.}[,]> and some hearkened to words that it would have been better for them never to have heard.
This is from Osanwe-kenta.

One thing only marred the hope of Manwë. Fëanor came indeed, for he read the message of Manwë as a command; but Finwë would not come and remained in Formenos, and with him were the sons of Fëanor. For said Finwë: 'While the ban lasts upon Fëanor, my son, that he may not go to Túna, I hold myself unkinged, and I will not meet my people <AA , nor those that rule in my stead> .' And Fëanor did not come in raiment of festival, and he wore no ornament, neither silver nor gold nor any gem; and he denied the sight of the Silmarils to the Valar and the Eldar, and left them in Formenos, locked in a chamber of iron.
§28 The wedding of the father {was not pleasing to} <SF filled > Fëanor <SF with anger and resentment>; and though it did not lessen the love between them, Fëanor <SF felt that Míriel was condemned to remain for ever discarnate, so that he could never again visit her or speak with her, unless he himself should die. This grieved him, and he grudged the happiness of Finwë and Indis, and was unfriendly to their children, even before they were born.>{had no great love for Indis or her children.} As soon as he might he lived apart from them, exploring the land of Aman, or busying himself with the lore and the crafts in which he delighted.
I will reply to your changes Findegil, when I have the whole text.
"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy."

Last edited by Maédhros; 05-02-2006 at 11:15 PM.
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