Crazy Captions - Page 277 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-28-2006, 08:40 AM

W-K: That tower has to be around here somewhere.

OR

Sauron: Be back by 11! I won't heat up your tea again if you're late!

Estelyn Telcontar · 06-28-2006, 10:41 AM

Witch-King: We've been flying around in circles long enough - I hate MapQuest! If we don't find our way to the Shire soon we'll have to do something desperate - like stopping and asking for directions!

Lalwendë · 06-28-2006, 11:30 AM

Secrets of Middle-earth Revealed No.1.

Pigeon racing was a keenly contested pastime amongst the Ainur and Sauron believed that his new coop at Barad-Dur would beat Manwe and his Eagles hands down.

Gil-Galad · 06-28-2006, 12:38 PM

Sauron: after that new picture!

Sauron: now i want you to grab the hobbit and bring him back to me alive!

Nazgul: surely you don't mean it!

Sauron: of course i mean it and stop calling me Shirley!

Estelyn Telcontar · 06-28-2006, 12:41 PM

Fell Beast: Did you Ring, little master?

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-28-2006, 12:56 PM

Nazgul: Sure you can feed it, it won't bite.

Farael · 06-28-2006, 01:37 PM

Nazghul: "I told you my daddy was bigger than yours!"

Gurthang · 06-28-2006, 02:34 PM

Frodo has almost completed his masterpiece. This painting is so lifelike, it almost scares it's maker.

Glirdan · 06-28-2006, 03:01 PM

Unknown to both Hobbit and Nazgul, they were about to be transported into a whole new dimension. The dimension of... ANIMATION!!

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-28-2006, 03:06 PM

Frodo was quite shocked when he saw what had followed him home and had no desire to keep it.

Lalwendë · 06-28-2006, 03:28 PM

Frodo reflects: "Feeding the pigeons in Trafalgar Square is a picnic compared to feeding the ones in Gondor."

davem · 06-28-2006, 03:29 PM

Frodo has second thoughts about ordering from the Osgiliath branch of KFC.

Delivery guy: Ok, I've plucked it & stuffed it - all you have to do is kill it & stick it in the oven...'

The Only Real Estel · 06-28-2006, 05:20 PM

Many Flying Nazgul Pic
----------------------------

The lesser-known eleventh plague of Egypt.

Parmastahir · 06-28-2006, 07:29 PM

Frodo: "What has the head of an eel, the wings of a bat, and the legs of Tyrannosaurus rex?"

Nazgul: "I give up. What?

Frodo: "Don't know. But you're sitting on it!"

Nazgul: "YIKES!"

Glirdan · 06-28-2006, 08:13 PM

Nazgul: I found you!!

or

Nazgul: So THAT'S what happened to my life sized cut out of Frodo!!

Valesse · 06-28-2006, 11:59 PM

Though it was quite touching, the twenty minute long musical love scene between Frodo and the Fell Beast suffered from both the beast's inablity to form words, and Frodo's inablity to do anything but squawk and bulge his eyes a little more.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-29-2006, 02:49 AM

Fell Beast: I caught a Fish that was THIS Big!

OR

Nazgûl: I will rain down mighty Doom and terror upon this land and all shall fall into- Are you listening to me?

Frodo: *Eats popcorn*

Rune Son of Bjarne · 06-29-2006, 04:19 AM

Nobody gets away with stealing a Nazgul's scarf !

or

Nazgul: Look! I have tought it to walk on it's toes. . .

narfforc · 06-29-2006, 04:52 AM

Nazgul: What the hell are you doing here, haven't you read the book?

HerenIstarion · 06-29-2006, 05:45 AM

Before taking the trip to the Continent, Frodo was told that Piazza San Marko in Venice would be full of pigeons, and it was a tradition to feed them, but he never expected to see one this big at all

Bêthberry · 06-29-2006, 08:39 AM

How hobbit kids view mum on a bad day.

Meela · 06-29-2006, 09:20 AM

Once again, Frodo had forgotten his contact lenses...

"Here, kitty kitty!"

Kitanna · 06-29-2006, 11:22 AM

In tribute to Calvin and Hobbes
Whenever Frodo opened a can of tuna it always brought around the most unwelcome guests.

Gurthang · 06-29-2006, 05:18 PM

Frodo: "Pew! And I thought dogs had bad breath!"

OR

Frodo: "Please move aside! I want a photo of those beautiful clouds."

Oddwen · 06-29-2006, 07:15 PM

Sam Vimes starts to sweat as the dragon soars closer.

The Only Real Estel · 06-29-2006, 08:23 PM

The Fellowship soon got the hang of the "Cardboard Standee Trick" - standing up cardboard cutouts of Frodo throught Middle Earth to trick the Nazgul.

The Sixth Wizard · 06-29-2006, 10:27 PM

For the previous pic once again...

Nazgul: The clouds are low today, and you know what that means?
Sauron: What?
Nazgul: It's got a nose redder than the Eye of our mighty Lord, providing more guidance in foggy times than a bucketful of Gandalfs, and faster on the wind than even Thorondor of the Eagles, its...
(all start singing)
Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, who had a very shin-ey nooose! And if you ever saw it... you would even say it glows!!!!!

And for this pic...

Nazgul: I mean, who needs black powers controlling a ring of great power, all we need to put Frodo out of business is a giant bat doing a striptease...
Fell Beast: (slowly opening wings) Duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh...
Frodo: AAARRGGHH!!!! NOOOOO! MY EYES ARE BURNING!!

Farael · 06-30-2006, 01:14 AM

Who would have guessed that taking down the fell beasts would have been so easy... leave them alone with a hungry hobbit for two minutes and voila! Two big bite-marks on their wings. Quite a delicacy, but really hard to find, the halflings say.

Lalwendë · 06-30-2006, 03:23 AM

Bill Oddie hadn't realised birdspotting could be so perilous in Middle-earth.

The Only Real Estel · 06-30-2006, 06:36 AM

The Frodo vs. Fell Beast Belching Contest was just a little one-sided.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-30-2006, 06:40 AM

Fell beast: Boo!

The Only Real Estel · 06-30-2006, 06:49 AM

Auditions for the role of Frodo weren't easy, as the apperance of a real live Fell Beast was just one of the many surprises that PJ tried on the actors to keep them off-balance.

Now you know why Elijah Wood's eyes are so big.

mormegil · 06-30-2006, 07:24 AM

Frodo: Oh I cannot bear to see anybody in so much pain. It must be killing you to have those holes in your wings. Sam, come quick and fix Mr. Fell beast's wings.

or

Sauron's new weapons...the fell beast....uncloaked

The Elf-warrior · 06-30-2006, 09:16 PM

Frodo: "If you want it, come and claim it!"

Gurthang · 06-30-2006, 09:51 PM

Fell Beast: "Come 'ere and give me a Great Big Hug!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-01-2006, 01:11 AM

Fell Beast: This is a NEW picture of doom!

Wormtong: I feel I could eat a horse.

Saruman: Looks like you already did!

Glirdan · 07-01-2006, 07:12 AM

PJ: Christopher, do you have to take this so seriously? If you keep going about like this, you'll kill Ian.

Chris: That's the point.

PJ:

mormegil · 07-01-2006, 07:53 AM

PJ: Wow! She's a looker isn't she?

Saruman: I've lived for many many years and I've never beheld such a beauty in all my days, not in any of the races.

PJ: I just can't understand why everybody bad mouths Lobelia when she is so radiantly beautiful!

Kath · 07-01-2006, 08:43 AM

PJ: So Saruman, we look left, then right, and then we cross the road - got it?

Kitanna · 07-01-2006, 08:53 AM

Christopher and PJ were unimpressed by the Fellowship actors Palantir soccer game.
PJ: Billy, that is not toy!

or

The Uruk-hai conga line took Saruman and PJ's breath away.

06-28-2006, 08:40 AM	#11041
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	W-K: That tower has to be around here somewhere. OR Sauron: Be back by 11! I won't heat up your tea again if you're late! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-28-2006, 10:41 AM	#11042
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,645	Witch-King: We've been flying around in circles long enough - I hate MapQuest! If we don't find our way to the Shire soon we'll have to do something desperate - like stopping and asking for directions! __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

06-28-2006, 11:30 AM	#11043
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Secrets of Middle-earth Revealed No.1. Pigeon racing was a keenly contested pastime amongst the Ainur and Sauron believed that his new coop at Barad-Dur would beat Manwe and his Eagles hands down. __________________ Gordon's alive!

06-28-2006, 12:38 PM	#11044
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 5,054	WARING: another Leslie Nielson joke Sauron: after that new picture! Sauron: now i want you to grab the hobbit and bring him back to me alive! Nazgul: surely you don't mean it! Sauron: of course i mean it and stop calling me Shirley! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

06-28-2006, 12:41 PM	#11045
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,645	Fell Beast: Did you Ring, little master? __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

06-28-2006, 01:37 PM	#11047
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,549	Nazghul: "I told you my daddy was bigger than yours!" __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

06-28-2006, 02:34 PM	#11048
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Frodo has almost completed his masterpiece. This painting is so lifelike, it almost scares it's maker. __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

06-28-2006, 03:01 PM	#11049
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,449	Unknown to both Hobbit and Nazgul, they were about to be transported into a whole new dimension. The dimension of... ANIMATION!! __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

06-28-2006, 03:28 PM	#11051
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Frodo reflects: "Feeding the pigeons in Trafalgar Square is a picnic compared to feeding the ones in Gondor." __________________ Gordon's alive!

06-28-2006, 03:29 PM	#11052
davem Illustrious Ulair Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: In the home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names,and impossible loyalties Posts: 4,256	Frodo has second thoughts about ordering from the Osgiliath branch of KFC. Delivery guy: Ok, I've plucked it & stuffed it - all you have to do is kill it & stick it in the oven...'

06-28-2006, 05:20 PM	#11053
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Many Flying Nazgul Pic ---------------------------- The lesser-known eleventh plague of Egypt.

06-28-2006, 07:29 PM	#11054
Parmastahir Wight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Green Hill Country Posts: 196	The Riddle Game Continued Frodo: "What has the head of an eel, the wings of a bat, and the legs of Tyrannosaurus rex?" Nazgul: "I give up. What? Frodo: "Don't know. But you're sitting on it!" Nazgul: "YIKES!" __________________ Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends.

06-28-2006, 08:13 PM	#11055
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,449	Nazgul: I found you!! or Nazgul: So THAT'S what happened to my life sized cut out of Frodo!! __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

06-28-2006, 11:59 PM	#11056
Valesse Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: \|Away Posts: 654	Though it was quite touching, the twenty minute long musical love scene between Frodo and the Fell Beast suffered from both the beast's inablity to form words, and Frodo's inablity to do anything but squawk and bulge his eyes a little more. __________________ "Loo, what sholde a man in thyse dayes now wryte, 'egges' or 'eyren'?" - Caxton, Eneydos

06-29-2006, 02:49 AM	#11057
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Fell Beast: I caught a Fish that was THIS Big! OR Nazgûl: I will rain down mighty Doom and terror upon this land and all shall fall into- Are you listening to me? Frodo: Eats popcorn __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-29-2006, 04:52 AM	#11059
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Nazgul: What the hell are you doing here, haven't you read the book? __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

06-29-2006, 05:45 AM	#11060
HerenIstarion Deadnight Chanter Join Date: Sep 2000 Posts: 4,301	Before taking the trip to the Continent, Frodo was told that Piazza San Marko in Venice would be full of pigeons, and it was a tradition to feed them, but he never expected to see one this big at all __________________ Egroeg Ihkhsal - Would you believe in the love at first sight? - Yes I'm certain that it happens all the time!

06-29-2006, 08:39 AM	#11061
Bêthberry Cryptic Aura Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 6,165	How hobbit kids view mum on a bad day.

06-29-2006, 09:20 AM	#11062
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,118	Once again, Frodo had forgotten his contact lenses... "Here, kitty kitty!" __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

06-29-2006, 11:22 AM	#11063
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,390	In tribute to Calvin and Hobbes Whenever Frodo opened a can of tuna it always brought around the most unwelcome guests. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

06-29-2006, 05:18 PM	#11064
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Frodo: "Pew! And I thought dogs had bad breath!" OR Frodo: "Please move aside! I want a photo of those beautiful clouds." __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

06-29-2006, 07:15 PM	#11065
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,246	Sam Vimes starts to sweat as the dragon soars closer. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

06-29-2006, 08:23 PM	#11066
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	The Fellowship soon got the hang of the "Cardboard Standee Trick" - standing up cardboard cutouts of Frodo throught Middle Earth to trick the Nazgul.

06-29-2006, 10:27 PM	#11067
The Sixth Wizard Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Stuck under a rock in Valinor with Ar-Pharazon. Posts: 495	For the previous pic once again... Nazgul: The clouds are low today, and you know what that means? Sauron: What? Nazgul: It's got a nose redder than the Eye of our mighty Lord, providing more guidance in foggy times than a bucketful of Gandalfs, and faster on the wind than even Thorondor of the Eagles, its... (all start singing) Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer, who had a very shin-ey nooose! And if you ever saw it... you would even say it glows!!!!! And for this pic... Nazgul: I mean, who needs black powers controlling a ring of great power, all we need to put Frodo out of business is a giant bat doing a striptease... Fell Beast: (slowly opening wings) Duh, duh duh duh, duh duh duh... Frodo: AAARRGGHH!!!! NOOOOO! MY EYES ARE BURNING!! Last edited by The Sixth Wizard; 06-29-2006 at 10:35 PM.

06-30-2006, 01:14 AM	#11068
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,549	A new weapon for Gondor Who would have guessed that taking down the fell beasts would have been so easy... leave them alone with a hungry hobbit for two minutes and voila! Two big bite-marks on their wings. Quite a delicacy, but really hard to find, the halflings say. __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

06-30-2006, 03:23 AM	#11069
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,814	Bill Oddie hadn't realised birdspotting could be so perilous in Middle-earth. __________________ Gordon's alive!

06-30-2006, 06:36 AM	#11070
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	The Frodo vs. Fell Beast Belching Contest was just a little one-sided.

06-30-2006, 06:40 AM	#11071
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Fell beast: Boo! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-30-2006, 06:49 AM	#11072
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	Auditions for the role of Frodo weren't easy, as the apperance of a real live Fell Beast was just one of the many surprises that PJ tried on the actors to keep them off-balance. Now you know why Elijah Wood's eyes are so big.

06-30-2006, 07:24 AM	#11073
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	Why Frodo was not an effective ring bearer Frodo: Oh I cannot bear to see anybody in so much pain. It must be killing you to have those holes in your wings. Sam, come quick and fix Mr. Fell beast's wings. or Sauron's new weapons...the fell beast....uncloaked __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

06-30-2006, 09:16 PM	#11074
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Frodo: "If you want it, come and claim it!" __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

06-30-2006, 09:51 PM	#11075
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,507	Fell Beast: "Come 'ere and give me a Great Big Hug!" __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-01-2006, 01:11 AM	#11076
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Fell Beast: This is a NEW picture of doom! Wormtong: I feel I could eat a horse. Saruman: Looks like you already did! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-01-2006, 07:12 AM	#11077
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,449	PJ: Christopher, do you have to take this so seriously? If you keep going about like this, you'll kill Ian. Chris: That's the point. PJ: __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

07-01-2006, 07:53 AM	#11078
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,679	PJ: Wow! She's a looker isn't she? Saruman: I've lived for many many years and I've never beheld such a beauty in all my days, not in any of the races. PJ: I just can't understand why everybody bad mouths Lobelia when she is so radiantly beautiful! __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke