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Visit The *EVEN NEWER* Barrow-Downs Photo Page |
09-17-2005, 06:26 PM
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#7361 |
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Psyche of Prince Immortal
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis
Posts: 4,733
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Rohirrm: are we there yet?
Legolas: no... Rohirrim: are we there yet? Legolas: NO... Rohirrim: are we there yet? Legolas: look if you say that one more time i'll stab your eyes out! Rohirrim:....have we reached our current destination? Legolas: Arrrgghh!!!
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
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09-17-2005, 07:48 PM
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#7362 |
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Maniacal Mage
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side!
Posts: 3,297
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Legolas: You have my bow
Rohan soldier: Really? Wow! I don't know what to say! Legolas: Psyke! Heh! You should have seen your face Rohan: Where's an army of orcs when I need one? Army of Orcs: *wave*
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.' |
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09-18-2005, 03:02 AM
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#7363 |
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Scion of The Faithful
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines]
Posts: 5,312
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The invasion of Mordor.
Brone: You really sure we could enter that new pub?
Legolas: Sure, all I have to do is flash my ID. . . darn, where is it?
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フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...
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09-18-2005, 08:52 AM
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#7364 |
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Energetic Essence
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew
Posts: 3,285
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This is what Legolas would do if he found 200, 000 orcs on his doorstep.
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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09-18-2005, 09:36 AM
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#7365 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Legolas: Ai! A new picture!
 Gandalf reads the Gondor Newspaper Headlines “Roasted Steward Swallows Orc” Or “Toad-faced Child Eaten By Nervous Gran” Or “’I’m Proud To Be black’ Claims Confused Orc activist” Or “’No More Dinner’ Requests Swollen Hobbit” Or “Balrog Deflates After Unexpected Piercing” Or “Unlikely Duo Become Best Friends After Owl Trauma” Or “Swollen Hobbit: ‘I’ve Had Enough’” Or ”’Dalek-esque Torturer Felt My face With Prong’ claims Frodo after night of pipe weed.”
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-18-2005, 09:40 AM
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#7366 | |
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Maniacal Mage
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side!
Posts: 3,297
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Gandalf: Here follows the account of Isildur, 3434 of the Second Age.
Quote:
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.' |
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09-18-2005, 10:11 AM
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#7367 |
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Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Gandalf: Oh it's only three hobbit feet, not four. No wonder my stew tasted so terrible.
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
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09-18-2005, 10:12 AM
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#7368 |
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Energetic Essence
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew
Posts: 3,285
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Gandalf: So Balrog's DO have wings!!!
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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09-18-2005, 10:19 AM
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#7369 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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Gandalf ponders the mystery of who sent him this Valentine; mysterious not least because it arrived in September.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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09-18-2005, 10:22 AM
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#7370 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-18-2005, 10:23 AM
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#7371 |
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Maniacal Mage
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Setting sail for Umbar, with Firefoot at my side!
Posts: 3,297
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Gandalf: Hmm...what's this?
~*~ The Life of Eru ~*~ A memoir Hmm....yes.....oh that will be good...yes...oh I did not just go there!
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'But Melkor also was there, and he came to the house of Fëanor, and there he slew Finwë King of the Noldor before his doors, and spilled the first blood in the Blessed Realm; for Finwë alone had not fled from the horror of the Dark.' |
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09-18-2005, 10:29 AM
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#7372 |
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Cryptic Aura
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 5,977
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Gandalf: "This fanfiction stuff is terrible. Shadow of the West my ring! It didn't at all happen like that. Entish Bows and Lonely Stars! Why, it's all just an ocassion for ... for... *sputters anathemas* How on earth could Tom let those wights get away with this kind of stuff on the Barrow Downs? He's been spending too much blasted time with Goldberry I'll warrent. *sputters some more deprecations too unsuitable for the site*"
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I’ll sing his roots off. I’ll sing a wind up and blow leaf and branch away. |
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09-18-2005, 11:06 AM
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#7373 |
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Auspicious Wraith
Join Date: May 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,859
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The Su Doku bug hits Middle-earth.
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Los Ingobernables de Harlond |
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09-18-2005, 11:17 AM
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#7374 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf wished now he had not offered to pay the bill for the Hobbits to eat at Minas Tirith's only 5-star resturant.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-18-2005, 12:27 PM
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#7375 |
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Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,449
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Gandalf receives a fixed-penalty notice for speeding ....
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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09-18-2005, 12:29 PM
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#7376 |
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Energetic Essence
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew
Posts: 3,285
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Gandalf just got his eviction notice. He's been kicked out... of ARDA!!!!!
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I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face! Fenris Wolf
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09-18-2005, 12:32 PM
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#7377 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Gandalf has a heart attack when he gets his room service bill.
OR Using a hidden camera, someone caught Gandalf looking at a copy of Playboy. OR Ian does not like the looks of the new script: Ian: "I DON'T come back to life! You cut me from TTT and RotK! You can't DO that!" OR Gandalf has a test tomorrow... actually today, since he's up so late studying!
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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09-18-2005, 12:35 PM
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#7378 |
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Shadow of the Past
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minas Mor-go
Posts: 1,007
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Gandalf reads Saruman's diaries.
Gandalf: *giggle*snicker* |
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09-18-2005, 12:37 PM
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#7379 | |
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Child of the West
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn
Posts: 2,132
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Quote:
or Gandalf is sick and tried of taunting letters from the hobbits. "I smell like a what?"
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"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain |
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09-18-2005, 12:39 PM
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#7380 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Gandalf tries to figure out his new Council Tax bill.
OR The new supply teacher at Hogwarts had to stay up late marking all those two-foot-long Potions essays that Snape had set. OR It was Gandalf's turn to work out who owed what on the quarterly phone bill. Gandalf: "Saruman! Have you been making long distance calls to Eru again?" Saruman: "You can blame Radagast for those Premium Rate calls! He's been trying to get on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire again!"
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Gordon's alive!
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09-18-2005, 01:00 PM
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#7381 |
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Psyche of Prince Immortal
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis
Posts: 4,733
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ha... that will probaly be my father once he gets the phone bill after me and Lily have been talking...
*Alright, now i've received another unsigned bad rep about this post! Gandalf equals my dad, THATS THE CAPTION!!!* Gil-Galad: that will probaly be my father once he gets the phone bill after me and Lily have been talking... Gandalf: Wha!!!!
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Love doesn't blow up and get killed.
Last edited by Gil-Galad; 09-19-2005 at 10:17 PM. |
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09-18-2005, 01:03 PM
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#7382 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf's tax-returns.
Gandalf *reading*: "Did your none-returnable outgoings for the first half of the year exceed your payment for quarterly V.A.T?" WHAT? What does that mean? "If you live in a council flat, by a river but are not... blind!" WHAT? This makes no sense! OR Gandalf receives a notification of lynching. "Dear Gandalf, we, the villagers, regret to inform you that you will be lynched tomorrow morning. Sorry if you're not a wolf. Love, the villagers." OR yet! Gandalf: How did they get these pictures of me uncloaked? Everyone else: *cough* yeah, it’s a mystery.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 09-18-2005 at 01:07 PM. |
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09-18-2005, 02:16 PM
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#7383 |
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Princess of Skwerlz
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles)
Posts: 7,499
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After the German election...
Gandalf: OK now, if the CDU and the FDP would cooperate with the Greens, they could form a government alliance under a new chancellor. On the other hand, if the FDP would decide to cooperate with the SPD and Greens after all, the current chancellor could remain in charge. But if only two parties ally, it would have to be the two biggest, and who would then be chancellor? Oh, these multi-party political systems are so confusing! Why is there no MapQuest for politics?!
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'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...' |
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09-18-2005, 02:48 PM
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#7384 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Parchment: "Dear Sir,
We regret to inform you that your request to enter the Wizard's Guild has been denied. Only people having a degree from Hogwarts, who have had training at the Jedi Academy, or are in connection to the Washington Wizard team are allowed to become members. We are sorry to dissapoint you, but your rules are clear. Most Sincerely, Wizard's Guild" OR Gandalf has received an eviction notice. Reason neighborhood complaints about his 'streaking tendencies'. OR Gandalf: "Yes, I did follow the directions correctly, but how did I end up here? This blasted map lead me into a basement?! Ohh! I Hate MapQuest!"
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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09-18-2005, 03:19 PM
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#7385 |
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Everlasting Whiteness
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams
Posts: 4,533
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How to get to Neverneverland:
1) Find a fairy and shake it over your head until fairy dust falls on you. 2) Think happy thoughts 3) Look for the second star on the right 4) Fly straight on til morning. Gandalf: Aha! So it was Isildur that wrote Peter Pan! I knew that J. M. Barrie story sounded familiar!
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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09-18-2005, 03:46 PM
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#7386 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: As with the flygja
Posts: 1,403
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Gandalf recieves another denied invitation addressed to a certain 'Gandoof'.
G: Wow. This 'Gandoof' has real relation problems... A bit of a brown-noser if you ask me... ~ Aesthete
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Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni? |
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09-18-2005, 04:44 PM
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#7387 |
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Laconic Loreman
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: USA
Posts: 7,507
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Gandalf: What's this, they're banning me from Valinor because I can't keep my cloak on. Inconcievable!
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Fenris Penguin
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09-18-2005, 07:36 PM
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#7388 |
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Drummer in the Deep
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Next Sunday A.D.
Posts: 2,125
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"See Arwen. See Arwen run.
See Aragorn. See Aragorn run. See Aragorn and Arwen. See Aragorn and Arwen smooch. Smooch smooch smooch. See Elrond run. See Elrond run for his bow. Run, Aragorn. Run, Arwen. Run run run." Or... Gandalf the remaining Sherriff pores over the last letter his colleague left him... Or... This Isildur fellow may have been King...but his spelling is horrendous! "Mi preshusss, lolol!!!!!" And what is this strange inscription... " (sp?) "??!?
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But all the while I sit and think of times there were before
I listen for returning feet and voices at the door |
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09-18-2005, 11:22 PM
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#7389 |
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Dead Serious
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers.
Posts: 3,309
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Gandalf reads the Obituaries:
Olorin 0, 1st Age - 3019, 3rd Age Known to his friends as Gandalf, Mithrandir, Tharkun, Incanus, the Grey Pilgrim, the Grey Wanderer, Stormcrow, and Lathspell, Olorin of Valinor passed away January 25th, 3019 T.A. in the Long Term Care Unit of the Durin IV Hospital in Khazad-dum, following a lengthy battle with Balrognoma. Olorin is survived by one brother, Curunir (Saruman), one sister, Aiwendil (Radagast), and several cousins. He was predeceased by his brothers Alatar and Pallando. Olorin's first home was in Almaren, and from there he moved to Valinor, where he continued to receive his mail until his death. There, he was employed at various times by Nienna Pity Products and Lorien Dreams Corp. At the time of his death, he was working on a secret mission for the Government in Taniquetil. Olorin was a veteran of the Melkor War I, Melkor War II, and Melkor War III, and acted as an observer during the War of Wrath. He was awarded the Grey Cloak by the Mahanaxar in 1000, 3rd Age. In Middle-Earth, he worked closely with Elrond of Rivendell and Galadriel of Lothlorien for the preservation of ancient cultures, and served a lengthy term on the White Council as Leader of the Opposition to Sauron. Olorin will be remembered for his love of wandering, his fascination with fire, and his fiery temper. Donations can be made to the Shire Breast Cancer Foundation or a charity of one's choice.
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I prefer history, true or feigned.
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09-19-2005, 12:03 AM
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#7390 |
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Maundering Mage
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,636
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Middle-earth Tabloids
Headlines:
Arwen seen vacationing with Faramir! Photos of Gandalf uncloacking at the Council of Elrond Exclusive photos of Legolas without makeup! Dwarves are alien species bent upon Middle-earth domination. Orcs: Can't we all just get along.
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When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke |
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09-19-2005, 03:00 AM
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#7391 |
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Sword of Spirit
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Oh, I'm around.
Posts: 1,401
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Gandalf reads his daily horoscope:
Horoscope: "You will discover the Ring of Power and send it on it's way to Mount Doom." Gandalf: "Wow, I never realized these things could be so specific!" OR Gandalf enjoying a tabloid: "Studies Prove Raspberries Stop Wizards!" Gandalf: "Proposterous! I love raspberries." "Aragorn, Eowyn Caught Moria's Dark. Exclusive Photos." Gandalf: "If they are in the dark, how are there pictures?" "Using Just Pencils, Orcs Capture Osgiliath." Gandalf: "Man, they must have really left those outer defenses!" OR Sometimes Gandalf just doesn't understand the Comics.
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I'm on a Mission from God. |
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09-19-2005, 06:41 AM
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#7392 |
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Mischievous Candle
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam.
Posts: 1,234
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There was a time when Gandalf knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves, Men and Orcs but this was just beyond his comprehension.
rOFl l4me arg brb afk ... rofl arg teh y0 wtH dude lol swt
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Fenris Wolf
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09-19-2005, 09:03 AM
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#7393 |
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Everlasting Whiteness
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams
Posts: 4,533
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Gandalf: Well I never, Aragorn was right! Uncloaking in public is illegal!
OR Gandalf: Now, if I just change this name here and that pronoun over there, I become Isildur's heir and heir to the throne of Gondor!
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“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.” |
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09-19-2005, 09:17 AM
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#7394 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf: The horoscopes are going down a little since Saruman started writing them. Here's mine:
"You are a foolish old man and wear a stupid hat and should be ashamed of yourself."  OR Gandalf: "King talks to tree, phew what a loony" good grief, The Times has really gone down hill recently. (Good ol' Bladder)
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-19-2005, 11:26 AM
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#7395 |
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A Mere Boggart
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: under the bed
Posts: 4,737
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Gandalf attempts to figure out how to use his new Just For Men hair dye kit. "Damn, I forgot to buy some rubber gloves!"
OR Saruman hammers on the door. "Gandalf? Are you going to be long in there? I'm crossing my legs out here."
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Gordon's alive!
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09-19-2005, 11:45 AM
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#7396 |
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Shade of Carn Dûm
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: the Shadow Gallery
Posts: 276
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Gandalf: Good grief, Denethor's phone bill is how much?!? That's it, he's got a palantir for sure.
*runs down hallway* Denethor! Get your charred butt out here! I'm sorry, that was really stupid.
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The answer to life is no longer 42. It's 4 8 15 16 23... 42. "I only lent you my body; you lent me your dream." |
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09-19-2005, 11:47 AM
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#7397 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Gandalf: Good grief! A new Picture?
 Elrond: Isildur! I thought you said you'd switched the oven off! OR This is why you never leave the cat in at night.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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09-19-2005, 11:51 AM
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#7398 |
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Ghost Prince of Cardolan
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The Party Tree
Posts: 1,042
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Elrond: I caught Gandalf reading my secret diary. Now look where he's at! Let that be a lesson to the rest of you!!
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Holby is an actual flesh-and-blood person, right? Not, say a sock-puppet of Nilp’s, by any chance? ~Nerwen, WWCIII |
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09-19-2005, 11:55 AM
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#7399 |
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Pilgrim Soul
Join Date: May 2004
Location: watching the wonga-wonga birds circle...
Posts: 9,449
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A public information announcement from the Alliance of Elf-friends
Elrond: See.. I warned you what would happen if you annoyed Mithalwen.....
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“But Finrod walks with Finarfin his father beneath the trees in Eldamar.”
Christopher Tolkien, Requiescat in pace |
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09-19-2005, 11:57 AM
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#7400 |
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Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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Elrond: So, Sauron thinks Balrogs have wings does he? *BOOM* Where are all your theories now, eh Sauron? Ha, ha, ha!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... |
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Linear Mode
