The Hobbit Survivor

[Elu Ancalime]

++Fili

Is there really anything to say about it?
Chief voters are still hoping to hang on, and dwarves still aren't the cool kids.
________
MICHIGAN MARIJUANA DISPENSARY

[Kuruharan]

++ Chief Warg

Wouldn't want to bust up this beautiful friendship with Saucepan Man.

Even though he wants William to win.

[Eonwe]

9-7 by my count. And that's the second day. Take some advice from an old proverb, ye anti-wargers:

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Eonwe

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Now where's the fun in that?

I choose to avoid succumbing to the pack mentality of the Wargish menace.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I have allways found that "If you can't join 'em, beat 'em" makes more sence.

[The Saucepan Man]

Originally Posted by Rune Son of Bjarne

I have allways found that "If you can't join 'em, beat 'em" makes more sence.

Funny, I had you down as a radical rather than a conservative, Bjarne.

[Glirdan]

The second half of the twins was to be evicted tonight. "He's pretty useless without his twin I say!" Gloin cried. I say we get rid of him, the same way we got rid of Kili!! After all, they are twins!!" With that, the eviction police came to take Fili away, but, as with Kili, he was slaughtered by them instead.

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Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took
Bert
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Girion
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bolg
Elvenking
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Beorn
Dori
Balin
Kili
Tom
Roac
Eagle Lord
Belladonna Took
Bombur
Elrond
Fili

The remaining contestants:

The Final Five
Gloin
Chief Warg
Smaug
William
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

Day 38 starts! GO!!

[Lhunardawen]

The time has come.

++CHIEF WARG

[mormegil]

*starts a chant*

bullroarer...Bullroarer...BullRoarer...BULLROARER.

Bilbo's family is over let us evict the last of the hobbits and be done with this dreadful and almost useless creatures, with the notable exception of the Gamgee clan.

++Bullroarer

Plus he doesn't like Wargs.

[Formendacil]

Rally to me, fraternal brothers- and ladies of a sympathetic nature!

Upon all that is Holy, Sacred, Divine, Solemn, and Llama-esque, I call upon you to rally around the banner I carry, the banner of the Wargs, may their likeness never fail to flap over our numbers! I charge you with the task of defending our great Lord and King, the Chief Warg, in his battle to prove to the teeming, ignorant masses his great and glorious power by victory in the game of Survivor: The Hobbit. I call upon you all to do your part in the struggle to show mankind just how much he has wronged the Noble Race of Wargs, and to join me in a massive, concerted effort to drive someone, anyone else from this contest today.

In the name of Eru Ilúvatar, calling upon Manwë and Varda as witnesses, I beseech you all to defend our illustrious leader, and to contribute to his triumph over all that is petty, all that is mundane, all that is booger-covered and dirty! I ask you all to do, as I do, and vote:

++William

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

I belive that I explained why I don't like William a long time ago, maybe I didn't but then you just will have to do with out.

++William

[dancing spawn of ungoliant]

Originally Posted by Lhunardawen

The time has come.

++CHIEF WARG

Already?


Even without sir Formendacil's inflammatory speech, I think it's

++William,

whose time is up. Really, he should have gone long ago if you ask me.

[Holbytlass]

Keep the bumbling misunderstood giant, evict the nasty cur

++Chief Warg

[Celuien]

Yes, save the poor Troll. William must not fall today!

++CHIEF WARG

[Kuruharan]

++ Chief Warg

If we don't get him now we won't get him.

[Anguirel]

Alas that I've arrived too late to lead the charge against a truly perfidious and dull enemy.

The Warg's rabble affinity will not last much longer. For now, we must rid ourselves of the greatest golfing bore Middle-earth ever saw...

++THE BOREROARER

[Tuor in Gondolin]

Delenta est + + Chief Warg

[WaynetheGoblin]

++william

[Formendacil]

Anguirel, Mormegil, tell you what...

You help us get rid of William today, and we'll help take out the Bullroarer tomorrow. Fair deal?

[mormegil]

But I kind of like William.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Smaug is the only other contestant whom the Warg can admire.

Gloin is a petty, argumentative, whiny, little git. The Bullroarer has no right to be on the island anyway (anyone actually read The Hobbit?) and William is just an oaf who can't even take an afternoon stroll without being rendered impotent.

How anyone can seriously want one of these three losers to win is very strange to me. They should all be eliminated in turn.

++WILLIAM

[Celuien]

But I kind of like William.

So do I.

If we build on the anti-Warg momentum enough today to evict him today, I'll happily vote Bullroarer tomorrow.

[mormegil]

--Bullroarer

++Chief Warg
I have your assurance then?

[Celuien]

Originally Posted by mormegil

I have your assurance then?

Absolutely. The Golfroarer is next.

[arcticstorm]

++William

[Anguirel]

Well, Celuien seems to have bought mormegil's deal...

For now, I'll happily agree to the pact.

But not morm's! My twin brother Formendacil's!

--THE BOREROARER, ++WILLIAM

Now both sides are pledged to evict Boringbras Took tomorrow...

Who were you predicting would win again, Kuru?

[Lhunardawen]

dancing spawn, we can't let the momentum of the anti-Warg campaign die. He must go, sooner not later.

Besides, I kind of like William too. Not enough to let him win, though...just enough to consider him more worthy of staying than the Warg.

My twin brother Formendacil's!

You can stop that now, Anguirel. Your twin status has been called off on account of Formendacil now being Ungoliant's twin.

No, not you dancing spawn.

[The Saucepan Man]

++ THE CHIEF WARG

Originally Posted by Kuru

If we don't get him now we won't get him.

I fear this is true.

Originally Posted by Celuin

If we build on the anti-Warg momentum enough today to evict him today, I'll happily vote Bullroarer tomorrow.

Me too.

Originally Posted by mormegil

I have your assurance then?

Indeed.

Originally Posted by Anguirel

Now both sides are pledged to evict Boringbras Took tomorrow...

Who were you predicting would win again, Kuru?

Ang, your logic fails you. Celuin and I are the only ones who have pledged to vote for Bullroarer tomorrow. And we have made clear that we will only do so if the Chief Warg is evicted today. So your best bet to be rid of him will be to vote with the anti-Wargista brigade today.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

You have my word, Milord Formendacil. If by my life or death I can protect the Warg, I will. You have my vote.

++William

Anybody surnamed Huggins is a loser in my scroll.

[Kuruharan]

Who were you predicting would win again, Kuru?

You will find evicting the final hobbit from Hobbit Survivor will be surprisingly challenging. My spreadsheets are only susceptible to .05 points of rounding error, only enough to bump the choice down one if the names and ethnicity are almost totally similar.

Ang, your logic fails you.

You say this as if it were something new. However, I'm afraid in this particular case you missed that mormegil is also part of the little group (which is not at all surprising).

[Anguirel]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

You will find evicting the final hobbit from Hobbit Survivor will be surprisingly challenging.

Such a tired argument. Sauron wasn't obliged to win LOTR Survivor, and the Silmarils didn't even get the option of winning the Silmarillion Survivor...if it's the will of the populace, the tedious Hobbit must go!

Oh, and logic is for lawyers...

[Kuruharan]

if it's the will of the populace

Aye, there's the rub. Sauron was not a sympathetic character. Bullroarer on the other hand is the sole survivor (har har) of an oppressed and exploited race.

[Glirdan]

Yay!! I can do what I've been waiting for since ever!! It's almost the end people, but I'll get to that in a minute.

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Dady 38 came to a close and an epidemic amongst the viewers occured. One of the crowd favorites, the Chief of Wargs, was to be voted out. However, he wasn't alone. William, the final troll was to be evicted as well. When the voting at tribal council was finished, the Chief Warg arose in anger and charged at the remaining contestants. However, William seeing what had happened to his brethern, decided to change his ways and he arose and stopped the Chief Warg. They battled right there in the middle of the camp. It was a fierce battle and eventually it was over, with William as the victor (he tossed the Chief into the fire). However, he was wounded to the death. The last thing he uttered was "You better save me some meat!!" and he died, passing on to who knows where. Then, there were three contestants left...

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Contestants voted out:
Bofur
Ori
Durin (The first King Under the Mountain)
Nori
Fundin
Gandalf
Nain (father of Dain)
Bungo Bagins
Chief of Guards
Thorin
Bilbo
Golfimbul
Carc
Gollum
The Master
Dwalin
Bifur
Great Goblin
Bard
Azog
Oin
Dain
Necromancer
Old Took
Bert
Galion (Elvenking's Butler)
Girion
Thror (grandsire of Thorin)
Bolg
Elvenking
Thrain (father of Thorin)
Beorn
Dori
Balin
Kili
Tom
Roac
Eagle Lord
Belladonna Took
Bombur
Elrond
Fili
Chief Warg
William

The remaining contestants:

The Final Rounders
Gloin
Smaug
Bullroarer (Bilbo's great ancestor)

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Ok, this is it, the final day. The day we see who gets crowned the Hobbit Survivor!! The voting will work like this:

~ You will vote for the person you WANT to win
~ There will be NO retractable votes. Make sure that who you vote for is the one, because once you vote, there's no turning back
~ Come up with funny reasons for why you want that person to win. You can use things from the past to use as more backup.
~Make absolutely sure that your vote is written like so:
++Gloin
If it is not bolded, I will not count the vote

In the event of a tie, I will make a complete biast decision (tossing a coin or rolling a die).

Ok, you've read the rules, you know who the finalits are, but, you still don't know what the prize is if they win. You would like to know, wouldn't you? Well, just like the contestants, you will have to wait!

The Final starts............................................ ............NOW!!!!!

Edit - I would have done this last night, but I got kicked off the computer when I was in the middle of writing the cast out and I didn't get a chance to do it until now. Sorry!! I will also be extending the Days. You now have two full days. The game will end on Tuesday at approximately 10:30pm Eastern. If I do not have it up, expect it to prolonged until Wedsnday at around that time. Thanks.

[Kuruharan]

Well, this is an interesting situation and no mistake! I’m in a complete win-win-win. I’d like to thank those of you who have been steadily trying to irritate me and bust up my predictions. Without your efforts, I would not now be in the position of being satisfied with whatever the outcome is. Truly, your efforts are appreciated, although I’m a little disappointed in some of you for how easy it was to yank on your chains. I’m very interested to see what you are going to do.

A) I’ve predicted that Bullroarer would win. However, just as I’d expected from the beginning, a bit of momentum against him was building. The obvious thing for them to do is vote for somebody else…However,

B) I’ve said a number of times that Smaug would be a strong dark-dragon candidate to win at the end…Lo and Behold, he is! So if you vote for him to win, I’ll still have been right.

C) The other thing I have said is that a dwarf will not win this. The final alternative (and the only one that would prove me “wrong”) would be to vote for him to win. Alas, this prospect alone is probably enough to cause certain people to have aneurisms. Doubly annoying to them is that I would certainly not be complaining if a dwarf did manage to win, even though it would throw my carefully crafted calculations out the window.

I suspect that they would now like to choose Smaug as the least of the three evils (so far as they are concerned, although Smaug may have been Ang’s preferred candidate from the beginning). However, that prediction should now throw some of them into a complete tizzy! What can they do now to throw off my prognostications?

Again, my thanks to you (you know who you are). This has been quite fun.

BAWH-HAWH-HAWH-HAWH!!!

[Anguirel]

Originally Posted by Kuruharan

I suspect that they would now like to choose Smaug as the least of the three evils (so far as they are concerned, although Smaug may have been Ang’s preferred candidate from the beginning).

Too right, my fine feathered firkin.

Oh viewers, the real King Under the Mountain-the one who actually made Erebor and the River Running gleam with red-gold-the Prince of the Wilderland-has come into his own.

The Warg Chief put up a splendid fight which will reverberate down the ages. But Lord Smaug the Magnificent is a contestant of still greater dimensions; yet more eloquent tongue; whose renown enthralls the imagination of mortal Men.

Think on it, my braves, think on the majesty and glory that has always belonged to the Dragon and the Dragon alone. Think of all those pious St George pictures where the wonder of the dragon makes George seem waiflike. Think on his bewitching hoard of marvels. Think on Fafnir! Consider the bane of Beowulf!

Several years ago, I attended an institution called the Dragon School. (In fact the school trip administrators were called Smaug Abroad). We had a school song, the Carmen Draconiensis, hardly ever employed, but on the rare occasions it was sung it was powerful, and I recall every word still.

Long ago there were creatures that ranged
Through the forests in hides of dark armour
But some are extinct and some changed
And the forests are tilled by the farmer.
Yet a weathertop glistens on high
And above it a Dragon is seated
And the words on that tin say "go in and win"
And the Dragon is rarely defeated.

No more is it, my braves, no more is it. For the sake of Smaug and the timeless myth he stands for, vote thus:

++SMAUG

On a less mythic and atavistic note, the Forces of Evil deserve an outright win just this once. Merry won LoTR Survivor, and Sauron was only runner up to Maglor in the Silmarillion Survivor. It's now up to the splendour of Smaug to redress the balance.

[Kuruharan]

Announcer: And Anguirel casts a vote for Smaug, the first in this Survivor final. Bob, how do you think this will influence the subsequent voting?

Color Commentator: Well, Cliff, I think it puts The Saucepan Man in a bit of a spot. It is our best guess that he would like a villain, any villain to win. With his choices reduced to Smaug that would be his natural. However, will he be able to bring himself to side with Anguirel?

Announcer: An interesting question Bob. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go see if we can't hire a sideline reporter who is at least twenty years younger than I am, who will hopefully be impressed by "The Announcer's" prestige (and salary).

Color Commentator: Good Luck, Cliff!

(Yes, I know I'm having too much fun.)

[mormegil]

Does anybody else want to annoy Ang?

I'm game and I think I know how but we will need to be certain to vote in a block as to avoid spreading our votes to thin.

All who are apathetic about this winner flock to me!

[Elu Ancalime]

++Smaug I, The Real King Under the Mountain

I will come out of my shell now. I want Smaug to win it. Lynch me, why dont ya'. Hehehe....

Obviously, Smaug is entitled to win. He is a true fighter, only a cheap shot that was staged by Bilbo, Mr Thrush, and Bard defeated him. Smaug pwnd all of Rhovanion, and took the unofficial throne of Dragon Leetness. Dwarves were no match for him, men he eat for supper. Elves were smart enough not to mess wif' him, so he chilled in his crib. Even secretly, Sauron E-mailed him a message that he would pay him to attck Lake-Town and the Woodland Realm, he didnt do it, cause' he do want he want. Nobody messes with this sucka' when he tells you to 'get in mah belleh!!!'
________
RHODE ISLAND MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSARY

[Kuruharan]

Announcer: And we're back with Middle-earth Television's (MET's) live coverage of the finals of Hobbit Survivor brought to you by Sigin-tarâg Resorts and Casinos. “We’re the cure for that pile of money burning a hole in your pocket!” That is Sigin-tarâg Resorts and Casinos, available all across Middle-earth. I’m joined here in the booth by my good buddy Bob and I’d like to welcome our new addition to the group, our sideline reporter Amanda.

Sideline Reporter: Thanks Cliff. I would give you an update on the action, but I have a feeling that none of the members of F.A.T. or R.E.A.L. F.A.T. have even noticed that I’m talking. The members of H.A.G. are probably trying to change the channel. So I’ll just toss it back up to you for the highlights.

Announcer: And what highlights they are too…oh, you mean what has been happening. Sorry. I thought you meant your highlights. What has been happening Bob?

Color Commentator: Well, for an update on that, I’ll just toss it down to Amanda, our sideline reporter.

Sideline Reporter: Cliff, I get the idea that I’m going to be providing the useful analysis and information while the two of you just sit up there and stammer and drool?

Announcer, Color Commentator: Sounds like a plan!!

Sideline Reporter: Elu Ancalime has cast the second vote for Smaug. Given prior history, this has to be one of the most predicable moves in the history of television. The audience is bored to tears and my boyfriends…I mean, the producers have had yet another series of panic attacks. However, mormegil has actually succeeded in doing something surprising and…

Announcer: That’s enough talking out of you. Don’t you realize I’m paid by the number of words I say? Bob, what do you make of this new move?

Color Commentator: What? Oh…ummm…I think the coach should have gone for it. Fourth and one in opposing territory is a makeable play and if your running game isn’t up to that you probably don’t deserve to win anyway.

Announcer punches out Color Commentator

Announcer: We’ll be right back after these commercial messages.

[Rune Son of Bjarne]

Since all my favourits have been voted of save one there really is not much of a choise. . .

The thing that really annoys me is that my favourits were voted of when ever I was to bussy or forgot to check this thread. Not that I am sure I could have saved them, exept a few.

Since you just had to vote off the magnificent Roac and the admirable Durin I will have to go with a mixture of them. . .SMAUG

++Smaug