Crazy Captions - Page 337 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Loslote · 12-06-2009, 11:55 PM

Restaurant owner: No face, no soul, no service.

OR:

*two minutes earlier* Nazgul: And for my third wish, fairy godmother, I want - Random person: That's it, I'm calling Security!

Mnemosyne · 12-07-2009, 12:09 AM

Cop: No ticket.

Hakon · 12-07-2009, 12:14 AM

Cops: Sir please come with us.

Nazgul: I would like a double cheeseburger with some of Aragorn's hair on the side.

Cops: Sir come with us now or we will have to use force.

Nazgul: Also add in some Peter Jackson brains with a side of movie elf.

The cops then drag the Nazgul away for ordering nonsense from a parked car.

FeRaL sHaDoW · 12-07-2009, 04:34 AM

Police arrest suspect over attempted jewellery store robbery.
Or
The Nazgul was sentenced to five-hundred hours of community service and fined two thousand silver pieces after pleading guilty to -Five counts of flying on a fell beast while under the influence -two counts of public indecency and -one count of misuse of a Morgul blade.
Or
Nazgul arrested after breaching a restraining order held against him by Mr. Baggins

Inziladun · 12-07-2009, 06:10 AM

Nazgûl: 'No, no! To Mordor you will take me!'
Officer: 'Nice try, pal. Everyone knows Mordor's a country club prison. You're going to Lórien to do Community Service as Groundskeeper.'

Boromir88 · 12-07-2009, 01:52 PM

The Nazgul's "black breath" is ancient speech for the breath of a really drunk Nazgul

Cop: Your BAC was 19 times the legal limit! It's a miracle you're not dead.

Nazgul: *hic* Now there's irony for you! *hic*

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-07-2009, 02:58 PM

Nazgul: Look over there!

Police1: We're not falling for that one again!

Police2: Yeah, your 8 friends might have got away with it. But, fool me seven times or whatever...

OR

Police man left: Look, your novelty watch doesn't even tell the time. And it's big and impractical!

Police man right: Awww! But's its SO COOL!

Mugwump · 12-07-2009, 04:17 PM

The winner so far is Loslote, with:

"No face, no soul, no service."

Boromir88 · 12-11-2009, 08:37 PM

Nazgul: Before you haul me off, roll the new pic!

Pippin's most important contribution to the War of the Ring...being Merry's pillow.

Loslote · 12-11-2009, 08:41 PM

Pippin: Hey, look, Merry! It's Santa!

Merry: No, silly, it's Dumbledore!

Gandalf: Who spiked the punch?!

Inziladun · 12-11-2009, 08:46 PM

Merry discreetly tried to warn Pippin of the Boa Constrictor round his neck.

narfforc · 12-12-2009, 12:34 PM

Pippin wins the Ale vs Weed Halucination Contest whilst squinting at Gandalf the Pink on his Big Pink Pig

Tuor in Gondolin · 12-12-2009, 01:36 PM

Merry to Pippin: "Wow, way to go, Pip. I see
not everything about hobbits is half man-size!"

Hookbill the Goomba · 12-12-2009, 02:01 PM

Pippin was slowly coming around to the fact that Merry wasn't, after all, a qualified doctor.

Pippin: You said you were listening to my heart beat...

Merry: Um... Hobbit hearts are in the shoulder?

Glirdan · 01-08-2010, 10:00 PM

Being under the influence helped Merry and Pippin handle the ghastly sight of Gandalf...UNCLOAKED!!

Oddwen · 01-08-2010, 10:53 PM

Merry drunkenly tries to sneak a taste of Pippin's pipe.

Eönwë · 01-09-2010, 09:09 AM

Pippin tries to do his warg impression.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 01-09-2010, 09:40 AM

We've all done it: drink, smoke, end up lost in an underground Dwarven mine. You're not young forever.

Rune Son of Bjarne · 01-09-2010, 07:01 PM

Merry and Pippin was so drunk that they did not notice "Sketchy Hand" running off with the pipe.

wilwarin538 · 01-09-2010, 07:06 PM

Merry and Pippin also attended Bostonmoot.

The Only Real Estel · 01-10-2010, 12:27 PM

There's never a wrong time for quoting The Princess Bride, & when you're half-baked it might actually be one of the best times do so...

Pippin: "Mawwaige...Mawwaige is what bwings us togethew today..."

Parmastahir · 01-10-2010, 07:23 PM

but it has to be done.

Pippin: "I don't care how much you smoke, Merry, nor how much I drink. The image of Gandalf uncloaking is burned into my mind forever."

Merry: "I think I'm going to be ill. By the way, whose hand is that?"

Loslote · 01-10-2010, 07:29 PM

Merry: I think we need a new picture.

Pippin: Oh, I don't know. I like this one. I'm in it.

Me: Too bad, Pippin.

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-10-2010, 07:32 PM

The Witch King refused to acknowledge the fact that he'd picked up a torch instead of a sword.

OR

WK: OH! ME SIR! ME SIR! I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW!!

Glirdan · 01-10-2010, 07:33 PM

Nazgul: My fire sword is better then yours!!

or

The upgraded lightsaber of fire!

or

Nazgul: The Shire's this way!!

Other Nazgul: Uh...no...that's up....

Nazgul: I knew I shouldn't have had those Brownies that were especially made in the South Farthing.....next time we order from Isengard!! Ooooo!! Look!! Butterfly!!

Loslote · 01-10-2010, 07:37 PM

Nazgul: This is demeaning!

Sauron: Nonsense! The Lady of Liberty is honored.

Nazgul: Lady?? Of Liberty??? Why me? Faramir would make much more sense...

Formendacil · 01-10-2010, 08:11 PM

The forces of Evil could never, ever create anything new, only produce pale mockeries.... even of national symbols. You knew things were bad when Sauron erected a "Statue of Liberty" in Nurnen harbour.

Mnemosyne · 01-10-2010, 08:26 PM

DM: "YOU CAN'T USE A LIGHTSABER! IT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT SYSTEM!!"

WK's player: "I see no light saber. That would be a copyright infringement. I see a psionic spear-blade."

Inziladun · 01-10-2010, 08:27 PM

His lord Sauron was jealous, so the Witch-king vowed this would be his last advertising spot for Greyhame's Goodenough Goblin-sparklers.

Hookbill the Goomba · 01-10-2010, 08:35 PM

For some reason, The Witch King's candy floss just wasn't selling.

OR

WK: What was that thing Sauron said about putting your finger in a plug socket? I think it was DO IT. So I'll just AAAAAAGH!!!

OR EVEN...

WK: Who did this to my sword? Is this your idea of a joke? These things aren't cheap, y'know!

Loslote · 01-10-2010, 08:39 PM

WK: Hey, Ben Franklin did it!

Sauron: That was with a kite. And it didn't go so well for him, either.

WK: Well, this is Middle Earth, so I'm sure it'll be --

Sauron: Even worse?

WK: Yup.

Tuor in Gondolin · 01-11-2010, 12:47 PM

Wow! These Ronson lighters are cool.
Now if someone would just invent cigarettes or cigars
instead of those hobbit pipes.

Bes · 01-12-2010, 06:58 PM

Anchorman: Today, we've switched out the Witch King of Angmar's regular decaf blend of coffee with Ork brand Red Kafeen Kristuls! Let's see if he notices.

WK: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHG!

Parmastahir · 01-17-2010, 06:17 PM

WK: "Crap!"

Tries again.

WK: "Double CRAP!!"

Tries a final time.

WK: "I GIVE UP!!! Someone make me a s'more!!!!"

Rune Son of Bjarne · 01-19-2010, 06:35 AM

Originally "Lord of the Rings" took place during the Olympics.

The Elf-warrior · 01-20-2010, 09:06 PM

The tenth Slipknot member.

Glirdan · 02-21-2010, 10:32 PM

WK: Noooooooooooooo!!!! I will burn you all before another picture is put up!!

The ORIGINAL cast of "Lost"

Inziladun · 02-21-2010, 10:48 PM

Sam: 'That's right Mr. Frodo! We'll give them singing chipmunks what for!'

Loslote · 02-22-2010, 12:04 AM

Frodo: Why didn't anyone tell me my hair looked like that??

Eönwë · 02-22-2010, 03:39 PM

To the Hobbits' dismay, Gandalf uncloaks yet again.

12-06-2009, 11:55 PM	#13441
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,032	Restaurant owner: No face, no soul, no service. OR: two minutes earlier Nazgul: And for my third wish, fairy godmother, I want - Random person: That's it, I'm calling Security! __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris

12-07-2009, 12:09 AM	#13442
Mnemosyne Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Between the past and the future Posts: 1,166	Cop: No ticket. __________________ Got corsets?

12-07-2009, 12:14 AM	#13443
Hakon Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: May 2009 Location: The Twilight Zone Posts: 747	Cops: Sir please come with us. Nazgul: I would like a double cheeseburger with some of Aragorn's hair on the side. Cops: Sir come with us now or we will have to use force. Nazgul: Also add in some Peter Jackson brains with a side of movie elf. The cops then drag the Nazgul away for ordering nonsense from a parked car. __________________ Medicine for the soul. ~Inscription over the door of the Library at Thebes

12-07-2009, 04:34 AM	#13444
FeRaL sHaDoW Wight Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: New Zealand Posts: 234	Police arrest suspect over attempted jewellery store robbery. Or The Nazgul was sentenced to five-hundred hours of community service and fined two thousand silver pieces after pleading guilty to -Five counts of flying on a fell beast while under the influence -two counts of public indecency and -one count of misuse of a Morgul blade. Or Nazgul arrested after breaching a restraining order held against him by Mr. Baggins __________________ God created night, but man created darkness....

12-07-2009, 06:10 AM	#13445
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,058	Nazgûl: 'No, no! To Mordor you will take me!' Officer: 'Nice try, pal. Everyone knows Mordor's a country club prison. You're going to Lórien to do Community Service as Groundskeeper.' __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

12-07-2009, 01:52 PM	#13446
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,559	The Nazgul's "black breath" is ancient speech for the breath of a really drunk Nazgul Cop: Your BAC was 19 times the legal limit! It's a miracle you're not dead. Nazgul: hic Now there's irony for you! hic __________________ Fenris Penguin

12-07-2009, 02:58 PM	#13447
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Nazgul: Look over there! Police1: We're not falling for that one again! Police2: Yeah, your 8 friends might have got away with it. But, fool me seven times or whatever... OR Police man left: Look, your novelty watch doesn't even tell the time. And it's big and impractical! Police man right: Awww! But's its SO COOL! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

12-07-2009, 04:17 PM	#13448
Mugwump Wight Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Taconic Mountains Posts: 111	The winner so far is *Loslote, with: "No face, no soul, no service."*

12-11-2009, 08:37 PM	#13449
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,559	Nazgul: Before you haul me off, roll the new pic! Pippin's most important contribution to the War of the Ring...being Merry's pillow. __________________ Fenris Penguin

12-11-2009, 08:41 PM	#13450
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,032	Pippin: Hey, look, Merry! It's Santa! Merry: No, silly, it's Dumbledore! Gandalf: Who spiked the punch?! __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris

12-11-2009, 08:46 PM	#13451
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,058	Merry discreetly tried to warn Pippin of the Boa Constrictor round his neck. __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

12-12-2009, 12:34 PM	#13452
narfforc Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Muddy-earth Posts: 1,307	Pippin wins the Ale vs Weed Halucination Contest whilst squinting at Gandalf the Pink on his Big Pink Pig __________________ [B]THE LORD OF THE GRINS:THE ONE PARODY....A PARODY BETTER THAN THE RINGS OF POWER.

12-12-2009, 01:36 PM	#13453
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Merry to Pippin: "Wow, way to go, Pip. I see not everything about hobbits is half man-size!" __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

12-12-2009, 02:01 PM	#13454
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	Pippin was slowly coming around to the fact that Merry wasn't, after all, a qualified doctor. Pippin: You said you were listening to my heart beat... Merry: Um... Hobbit hearts are in the shoulder? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

01-08-2010, 10:00 PM	#13455
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,449	Ahhhh, it's been too long :D Being under the influence helped Merry and Pippin handle the ghastly sight of Gandalf...UNCLOAKED!! __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

01-08-2010, 10:53 PM	#13456
Oddwen Drummer in the Deep Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Next Sunday A.D. Posts: 2,246	Merry drunkenly tries to sneak a taste of Pippin's pipe. __________________ But all the while I sit and think of times there were before I listen for returning feet and voices at the door

01-09-2010, 09:09 AM	#13457
Eönwë Flame Imperishable Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Right here Posts: 3,995	Pippin tries to do his warg impression.

01-09-2010, 09:40 AM	#13458
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,992	We've all done it: drink, smoke, end up lost in an underground Dwarven mine. You're not young forever. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

01-09-2010, 07:06 PM	#13460
wilwarin538 Fluttering Enchantment Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 2,661	Merry and Pippin also attended Bostonmoot. __________________ Comme une étoile amarante Comme un papillon de nuit C'est la lumière qui m'attire La flamme qui m'éblouit Fenris Muffin

01-10-2010, 12:27 PM	#13461
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 3,025	There's never a wrong time for quoting The Princess Bride, & when you're half-baked it might actually be one of the best times do so... Pippin: "Mawwaige...Mawwaige is what bwings us togethew today..."

01-10-2010, 07:23 PM	#13462
Parmastahir Wight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Green Hill Country Posts: 196	Sorry . . . but it has to be done. Pippin: "I don't care how much you smoke, Merry, nor how much I drink. The image of Gandalf uncloaking is burned into my mind forever." Merry: "I think I'm going to be ill. By the way, whose hand is that?" __________________ Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends.

01-10-2010, 07:29 PM	#13463
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,032	Merry: I think we need a new picture. Pippin: Oh, I don't know. I like this one. I'm in it. Me: Too bad, Pippin. __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris

01-10-2010, 07:32 PM	#13464
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	The Witch King refused to acknowledge the fact that he'd picked up a torch instead of a sword. OR WK: OH! ME SIR! ME SIR! I KNOW! I KNOW! *I KNOW!!* __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 01-10-2010 at 08:30 PM.

01-10-2010, 07:33 PM	#13465
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,449	Nazgul: My fire sword is better then yours!! or The upgraded lightsaber of fire! or Nazgul: The Shire's this way!! Other Nazgul: Uh...no...that's up.... Nazgul: I knew I shouldn't have had those Brownies that were especially made in the South Farthing.....next time we order from Isengard!! Ooooo!! Look!! Butterfly!! __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf

01-10-2010, 07:37 PM	#13466
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,032	Nazgul: This is demeaning! Sauron: Nonsense! The Lady of Liberty is honored. Nazgul: Lady?? Of Liberty??? Why me? Faramir would make much more sense... __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris

01-10-2010, 08:11 PM	#13467
Formendacil Dead Serious Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Perched on Thangorodrim's towers. Posts: 3,347	The forces of Evil could never, ever create anything new, only produce pale mockeries.... even of national symbols. You knew things were bad when Sauron erected a "Statue of Liberty" in Nurnen harbour. __________________ I prefer history, true or feigned.

01-10-2010, 08:26 PM	#13468
Mnemosyne Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Between the past and the future Posts: 1,166	DM: "YOU CAN'T USE A LIGHTSABER! IT'S NOT EVEN THE RIGHT SYSTEM!!" WK's player: "I see no light saber. That would be a copyright infringement. I see a psionic spear-blade." __________________ Got corsets?

01-10-2010, 08:27 PM	#13469
Inziladun Gruesome Spectre Join Date: Dec 2000 Location: Heaven's doorstep Posts: 8,058	His lord Sauron was jealous, so the Witch-king vowed this would be his last advertising spot for Greyhame's Goodenough Goblin-sparklers. __________________ Music alone proves the existence of God.

01-10-2010, 08:35 PM	#13470
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 6,153	For some reason, The Witch King's candy floss just wasn't selling. OR WK: What was that thing Sauron said about putting your finger in a plug socket? I think it was DO IT. So I'll just AAAAAAGH!!! OR EVEN... WK: Who did this to my sword? Is this your idea of a joke? These things aren't cheap, y'know! __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket... Last edited by Hookbill the Goomba; 01-10-2010 at 08:40 PM.

01-10-2010, 08:39 PM	#13471
Loslote The Werewolf's Companion Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Moon Posts: 3,032	WK: Hey, Ben Franklin did it! Sauron: That was with a kite. And it didn't go so well for him, either. WK: Well, this is Middle Earth, so I'm sure it'll be -- Sauron: Even worse? WK: Yup. __________________ I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night. Double Fenris

01-11-2010, 12:47 PM	#13472
Tuor in Gondolin Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Southeast Pennsylvania Posts: 3,651	Wow! These Ronson lighters are cool. Now if someone would just invent cigarettes or cigars instead of those hobbit pipes. __________________ The poster formerly known as Tuor of Gondolin. Walking To Rivendell and beyond 12,555 miles passed Nt./Day 5: Pass the beacon on Nardol, the 'Fire Hill.'

01-12-2010, 06:58 PM	#13473
Bes Animated Skeleton Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Virginia Posts: 42	Anchorman: Today, we've switched out the Witch King of Angmar's regular decaf blend of coffee with Ork brand Red Kafeen Kristuls! Let's see if he notices. WK: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUHG!

01-17-2010, 06:17 PM	#13474
Parmastahir Wight Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Green Hill Country Posts: 196	Camping out on Mt. Doom WK: "Crap!" Tries again. WK: "Double CRAP!!" Tries a final time. WK: "I GIVE UP!!! Someone make me a s'more!!!!" __________________ Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement. For even the very wise can not see all ends.

01-20-2010, 09:06 PM	#13476
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	The tenth Slipknot member. __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

02-21-2010, 10:32 PM	#13477
Glirdan Energetic Essence Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Where Lark Nor Eagle Ever Flew Posts: 3,449	WK: Noooooooooooooo!!!! I will burn you all before another picture is put up!! The ORIGINAL cast of "Lost" __________________ *I'm going to buy you a kitty, I'm going to let you fall in love with the kitty, and one cold, winter night, I'm going to steal into your house and punch you in the face!* Fenris Wolf