Crazy Captions - Page 146 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

Kitanna · 06-30-2005, 09:36 AM

Gandalf went to Isengard expecting a pipeweed party at Saruman's, instead he found an intervention.

Gil-Galad · 06-30-2005, 09:44 AM

Gandalf: yes, i'm here for the job of...supreme over-lord wizard!

Saruman: what? thats my job! oh you make me amgry! i'm going to go screw myself over and become evil so you can take my job! grrrrr

Gandalf:...do i still get weekends off?

mormegil · 06-30-2005, 09:48 AM

Saruman: Now, do you know why you've been brought to my office young man?
Gandalf: Yes sir, I've been picking too much on that Pippin Took.
Saruman: That's right now I expect you in my office every night for one week. We will be doing lines.

Lalwendë · 06-30-2005, 12:08 PM

Gandalf: "Hmm, Saruman has a lot to learn about the art of holding a soiree. Ribena instead of ale, no cheesy pineapple things, and I'm the only guest."

TomBrady12 · 06-30-2005, 01:08 PM

After successfully completing his quest to defeat Sauron, Gandalf was tasked with an even tougher assignment: The re-decoration of Orthanc.

TB12

Gil-Galad · 06-30-2005, 01:11 PM

Saruman: Badgers! we aint got no stinking badgers!

Boromir88 · 06-30-2005, 02:06 PM

Gandalf is in awe at the lifelike wax display of Saruman in his office at Isengard's Arts and Sciences museum.

Kath · 06-30-2005, 03:07 PM

Gandalf watches in horror as Saruman's newly severed and skeletonised arm begins to move towards the candelabra.

Hookbill the Goomba · 06-30-2005, 03:14 PM

Gandalf: Why are you on your knees, Saruman?

Saruman: To catch a Hobbit, I must think like a Hobbit... hum... I'm hungry.

Estelyn Telcontar · 06-30-2005, 03:24 PM

Principal Saruman: Gandalf, your punishment for smoking at school will be an hour of therapy with Dr. Sauron Freud.

The Elf-warrior · 06-30-2005, 04:31 PM

Saruman: "Glugnazgh, it's time to feed the Uruk-Hai."

Lalwendë · 06-30-2005, 04:37 PM

Gandalf: "It's elementary. It was Colonel Mustard, with a candlestick, in the library."

Saruman: "Can you please give the Sherlock Holmes routine a rest next time we play Cleudo?"

Lhunardawen · 07-01-2005, 05:47 AM

Gandalf looks over at the disembodied hand waving at him.

The Only Real Estel · 07-01-2005, 06:07 AM

Gandalf stares in disbelief at the sight he sees in front of Saruman. Someone has beaten him to that new Frodo action figure, with cape!

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-01-2005, 06:29 AM

Gandalf is getting slowly drunk as the severed hand keeps refilling his glass.

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 07-01-2005, 06:48 AM

Saruman's gonna make Gandalf an offer he can't refuse.

The Only Real Estel · 07-01-2005, 09:28 AM

Gandalf: "But, why is the weed gone!?"

Saruman: "Because you smoked it all, idiot! Five barrels in one night? Come on!"

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 07-01-2005, 10:07 AM

Gandalf: "Know what we need? We need some babes in this place!"

Saruman: "That's your answer to everything......"

Boromir88 · 07-01-2005, 11:22 AM

Gandalf spots the same slug of doom that attacked him on Caradhras...

Lalwendë · 07-01-2005, 11:41 AM

Saruman: "Why oh why does he always turn up to borrow a cup of sugar just when I've got a bottle of the Chateau Neuf Du Pape open? Scrounging Stormcrow. Tch."

Meela · 07-01-2005, 11:54 AM

Gandalf prepares a hasty exit as he learns that the last guest who smoked all the pipe-weed was turned into an attractive set of paperweights.

The Only Real Estel · 07-01-2005, 01:32 PM

Gandalf: "I see you've been busy. Galadriel's pitcher. Numerous stolen literary works. Anakin's mechanical arm. Wait a second - what the heck is that doing here!?"

Meneltarmacil · 07-01-2005, 02:10 PM

SARUMAN: No, Gandalf, you may NOT go to the bathroom now, we're in the middle of a test. Get back to your seat. And for the last time, no smoking in class!

Gurthang · 07-01-2005, 04:18 PM

Gandalf tries to make a smoke screen to escape from Isengard. It didn't work so well.

OR

Somebody was playing with a lazer pointer on set that day. Look at the cup Gandalf's holding.

OR

Gandalf forgot why he came into the study.

OR

Here's a switch: Gandalf is appalled to see Saruman... uncloaked!

Ainaserkewen · 07-01-2005, 04:41 PM

The voice of James Earl Jones:

"Mild, calm, suave. Longbottom Leaf, for today's intellectual."

The Only Real Estel · 07-01-2005, 07:03 PM

Saruman: "Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Hey, you don't seem to worried to me!"

Gandalf: "Oh, sorry about that. I'm having a bit of trouble caring about the world's fate right now - this is excellent pipe weed, though! By the way, I love what you've done to your study, walls painted neon & all. And the disco ball strobe light effect, brilliant!

Saruman: ???

Gil-Galad · 07-01-2005, 07:07 PM

Gandalf: Calvin Klein for Wizards

Lalwendë · 07-02-2005, 08:06 AM

Gandalf: "I think I'll just have another smoke and a snifter of this wine before I get back to those tax returns. I just hope I've still got my receipt for those white robes I had to buy."

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 07-02-2005, 12:03 PM

Gandalf could hardly believe that Saruman had not yet noticed the spy-with-camera that he had smuggled into Orthanc, despite him standing a mere 2 feet away.

The Only Real Estel · 07-02-2005, 01:04 PM

Gandalf's suspicions first began to arise when he saw the orc mask lieing on top of a stack of books by the window in plain view.

dancing spawn of ungoliant · 07-02-2005, 01:08 PM

Only the moonlight showed Saruman's den for what it really was: dusty.

THE Ka · 07-02-2005, 08:51 PM

I really don't know where I'm going with this... Something from an indie movie for sure...

Gandalf: Anyways, I tell the guy: "Hey! That's an awsome horse, and I think I can have it." So, he starts giving me this whole 'grey pilgrim' speech when -
Is that my old pipe?

Saruman: What old pipe? I don't smoke, especially that foul crud you inhale. I gave up smoking a century ago.

Gandalf: No, look! I swear, that's my old pipe, with the signature first-edition 'G' stamp custom hobbitton red-clay craft. Why is it here?

Saruman: No, it isn't! I told you I don't smoke -

Gandalf: All you had to do is ask if you wanted to use my pipe to smoke, we both know how addicting that weed is... Damn hobbits are crafty enough to control us, might as well indulge before the market caves in...

Saruman: Yeah, you are right. Could you pass me your pipe?

Ha... That was horrible... Sorry. I have too much self-esteem and not enough humor today.

~ In bad taste Ka

Lhunardawen · 07-03-2005, 03:39 AM

Gandalf contemplates offering his pipe to the disembodied hand.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-03-2005, 04:05 AM

Gandalf fixates on the cockroach slowly climbing up Saruman's beard.

Hookbill the Goomba · 07-03-2005, 07:21 AM

Saruman: So, if I accelerate the mutation of the Uruks so that they have to come to me to use these transportation devises, then I can remove all senses and feelings and make them into killing machines that will exterminate the world.

Gandalf: You've been watching Doctor Who again haven’t you?

Bêthberry · 07-03-2005, 08:08 AM

Fans throughout Middle earth gasped at Peter Jackson's scandalous depiction of Tolkien's academic life style.

Gurthang · 07-03-2005, 05:54 PM

The real reason for the Wizard's Duel: Saruman tells a 'grey' version of a blonde joke to Gandalf.

Nilpaurion Felagund · 07-03-2005, 09:42 PM

Saruman: Concealed within his fortress, the Lord of Mordor sees all--his gaze pierces cloud, shadow, earth and flesh.

Gandalf: Good! I won't have to go to the hospital to have my chest X-rays. This pipeweed might be slowly killing my lungs.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 07-04-2005, 05:46 AM

Saruman's council was 99% admin.

Eomer of the Rohirrim · 07-04-2005, 05:47 AM

Gandalf: "I hope they post a new caption soon, my legs are killing me!"

06-30-2005, 09:36 AM	#5801
Kitanna Child of the West Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Watching President Fillmore ride a unicorn Posts: 2,132	Gandalf went to Isengard expecting a pipeweed party at Saruman's, instead he found an intervention. __________________ "Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." - Mark Twain

06-30-2005, 09:44 AM	#5802
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,733	Gandalf: yes, i'm here for the job of...supreme over-lord wizard! Saruman: what? thats my job! oh you make me amgry! i'm going to go screw myself over and become evil so you can take my job! grrrrr Gandalf:...do i still get weekends off? __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

06-30-2005, 09:48 AM	#5803
mormegil Maundering Mage Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 4,636	Saruman: Now, do you know why you've been brought to my office young man? Gandalf: Yes sir, I've been picking too much on that Pippin Took. Saruman: That's right now I expect you in my office every night for one week. We will be doing lines. __________________ When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. -- P. J. O'Rourke

06-30-2005, 12:08 PM	#5804
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gandalf: "Hmm, Saruman has a lot to learn about the art of holding a soiree. Ribena instead of ale, no cheesy pineapple things, and I'm the only guest." __________________ Gordon's alive!

06-30-2005, 01:11 PM	#5806
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,733	Saruman: Badgers! we aint got no stinking badgers! __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

06-30-2005, 01:08 PM	#5805
TomBrady12 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Red Sox Nation Posts: 69	After successfully completing his quest to defeat Sauron, Gandalf was tasked with an even tougher assignment: The re-decoration of Orthanc. TB12

06-30-2005, 02:06 PM	#5807
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,507	Gandalf is in awe at the lifelike wax display of Saruman in his office at Isengard's Arts and Sciences museum. __________________ Fenris Penguin

06-30-2005, 03:07 PM	#5808
Kath Everlasting Whiteness Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Perusing the laminated book of dreams Posts: 4,533	Gandalf watches in horror as Saruman's newly severed and skeletonised arm begins to move towards the candelabra. __________________ “If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

06-30-2005, 03:14 PM	#5809
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	To revive a very old one.. Gandalf: Why are you on your knees, Saruman? Saruman: To catch a Hobbit, I must think like a Hobbit... hum... I'm hungry. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

06-30-2005, 03:24 PM	#5810
Estelyn Telcontar Princess of Skwerlz Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: where the Sea is eastwards (WtR: 6060 miles) Posts: 7,499	Principal Saruman: Gandalf, your punishment for smoking at school will be an hour of therapy with Dr. Sauron Freud. __________________ 'Mercy!' cried Gandalf. 'If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?' 'The whole history of Middle-earth...'

06-30-2005, 04:31 PM	#5811
The Elf-warrior Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Virginia. Posts: 952	Saruman: "Glugnazgh, it's time to feed the Uruk-Hai." __________________ Fenris Wolf: WW LXXX.

06-30-2005, 04:37 PM	#5812
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gandalf: "It's elementary. It was Colonel Mustard, with a candlestick, in the library." Saruman: "Can you please give the Sherlock Holmes routine a rest next time we play Cleudo?" __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-01-2005, 05:47 AM	#5813
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	<-- Too much pipeweed Gandalf looks over at the disembodied hand waving at him.

07-01-2005, 06:07 AM	#5814
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Gandalf stares in disbelief at the sight he sees in front of Saruman. Someone has beaten him to that new Frodo action figure, with cape!

07-01-2005, 06:29 AM	#5815
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Gandalf is getting slowly drunk as the severed hand keeps refilling his glass. __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

07-01-2005, 06:48 AM	#5816
dancing spawn of ungoliant Mischievous Candle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam. Posts: 1,234	Saruman's gonna make Gandalf an offer he can't refuse. __________________ Fenris Wolf

07-01-2005, 09:28 AM	#5817
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Lord of the Caribbean? Gandalf: "But, why is the weed gone!?" Saruman: "Because you smoked it all, idiot! Five barrels in one night? Come on!"

07-01-2005, 10:07 AM	#5818
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Gandalf: "Know what we need? We need some babes in this place!" Saruman: "That's your answer to everything......" __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

07-01-2005, 11:22 AM	#5819
Boromir88 Laconic Loreman Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: USA Posts: 7,507	Gandalf spots the same slug of doom that attacked him on Caradhras... __________________ Fenris Penguin

07-01-2005, 11:41 AM	#5820
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Saruman: "Why oh why does he always turn up to borrow a cup of sugar just when I've got a bottle of the Chateau Neuf Du Pape open? Scrounging Stormcrow. Tch." __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-01-2005, 11:54 AM	#5821
Meela Denethor's True Love Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Mirkwood. With Thranduil... swoon Posts: 2,049	Gandalf prepares a hasty exit as he learns that the last guest who smoked all the pipe-weed was turned into an attractive set of paperweights. __________________ 'The Hobbit' 1st impressions: 1. Thorin is hot... Oh god, I fancy a dwarf. 2. Thranduil is hotter. 3. Is that... Figwit! 4. Does Elijah Wood never age? 2nd: It's all about Fili & Kili, really. 3rd: BARD! OMG, Bard.

07-01-2005, 01:32 PM	#5822
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	Gandalf: "I see you've been busy. Galadriel's pitcher. Numerous stolen literary works. Anakin's mechanical arm. Wait a second - what the heck is that doing here!?"

07-01-2005, 02:10 PM	#5823
Meneltarmacil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: The bottom of the ocean, discussing philosophy with a giant squid Posts: 2,254	SARUMAN: No, Gandalf, you may NOT go to the bathroom now, we're in the middle of a test. Get back to your seat. And for the last time, no smoking in class! __________________ I ♣ baby seals.

07-01-2005, 04:18 PM	#5824
Gurthang Sword of Spirit Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Oh, I'm around. Posts: 1,401	Gandalf tries to make a smoke screen to escape from Isengard. It didn't work so well. OR Somebody was playing with a lazer pointer on set that day. Look at the cup Gandalf's holding. OR Gandalf forgot why he came into the study. OR Here's a switch: Gandalf is appalled to see Saruman... uncloaked! __________________ I'm on a Mission from God.

07-01-2005, 04:41 PM	#5825
Ainaserkewen Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A cosmic waiting room Posts: 651	The voice of James Earl Jones: "Mild, calm, suave. Longbottom Leaf, for today's intellectual." __________________ Solus... I'm eating chicken again. I ate chicken yesterday and the day before... will I be eating chicken again tomorrow? Why am I always eating chicken?

07-01-2005, 07:03 PM	#5826
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	when enough is enough Saruman: "Sauron has regained much of his former strength. He cannot yet take physical form, but his spirit has lost none of its potency. Hey, you don't seem to worried to me!" Gandalf: "Oh, sorry about that. I'm having a bit of trouble caring about the world's fate right now - this is excellent pipe weed, though! By the way, I love what you've done to your study, walls painted neon & all. And the disco ball strobe light effect, brilliant! Saruman: ???

07-01-2005, 07:07 PM	#5827
Gil-Galad Psyche of Prince Immortal Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Above a Parapet Obvious exits are: North, South, and Dennis Posts: 4,733	Gandalf: Calvin Klein for Wizards __________________ Love doesn't blow up and get killed.

07-02-2005, 08:06 AM	#5828
Lalwendë A Mere Boggart Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under the bed Posts: 4,737	Gandalf: "I think I'll just have another smoke and a snifter of this wine before I get back to those tax returns. I just hope I've still got my receipt for those white robes I had to buy." __________________ Gordon's alive!

07-02-2005, 12:03 PM	#5829
Eomer of the Rohirrim Auspicious Wraith Join Date: May 2002 Location: The Netherlands Posts: 4,859	Gandalf could hardly believe that Saruman had not yet noticed the spy-with-camera that he had smuggled into Orthanc, despite him standing a mere 2 feet away. __________________ Los Ingobernables de Harlond

07-02-2005, 01:04 PM	#5830
The Only Real Estel Raffish Rapscallion Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Far from the 'Downs, it seems :-( Posts: 2,835	it's not halloween... Gandalf's suspicions first began to arise when he saw the orc mask lieing on top of a stack of books by the window in plain view.

07-02-2005, 01:08 PM	#5831
dancing spawn of ungoliant Mischievous Candle Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: So near to Russia, so far from Japan, quite a long way from Cairo, lots of miles from Vietnam. Posts: 1,234	Only the moonlight showed Saruman's den for what it really was: dusty. __________________ Fenris Wolf

07-02-2005, 08:51 PM	#5832
THE Ka Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: As with the flygja Posts: 1,403	I really don't know where I'm going with this... Something from an indie movie for sure... Gandalf: Anyways, I tell the guy: "Hey! That's an awsome horse, and I think I can have it." So, he starts giving me this whole 'grey pilgrim' speech when - Is that my old pipe? Saruman: What old pipe? I don't smoke, especially that foul crud you inhale. I gave up smoking a century ago. Gandalf: No, look! I swear, that's my old pipe, with the signature first-edition 'G' stamp custom hobbitton red-clay craft. Why is it here? Saruman: No, it isn't! I told you I don't smoke - Gandalf: All you had to do is ask if you wanted to use my pipe to smoke, we both know how addicting that weed is... Damn hobbits are crafty enough to control us, might as well indulge before the market caves in... Saruman: Yeah, you are right. Could you pass me your pipe? Ha... That was horrible... Sorry. I have too much self-esteem and not enough humor today. ~ In bad taste Ka __________________ Vinur, vinur skilur tú meg? Veitst tú ongan loyniveg? Hevur tú reikað líka sum eg, í endaleysu tokuni?

07-03-2005, 03:39 AM	#5833
Lhunardawen Hauntress of the Havens Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IN it, but not OF it Posts: 2,538	<-- Too much pipeweed, yet again Gandalf contemplates offering his pipe to the disembodied hand. Last edited by Lhunardawen; 07-03-2005 at 03:44 AM.

07-03-2005, 04:05 AM	#5834
Nilpaurion Felagund Scion of The Faithful Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The brink, where hope and despair are akin. [The Philippines] Posts: 5,312	Orthanc needs a fumigation. Gandalf fixates on the cockroach slowly climbing up Saruman's beard. __________________ フェンリス鴨 (Fenrisu Kamo) The plot, cut, defeated. I intend to copy this sig forever - so far so good...

07-03-2005, 07:21 AM	#5835
Hookbill the Goomba Alive without breath Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla Posts: 5,912	Saruman: So, if I accelerate the mutation of the Uruks so that they have to come to me to use these transportation devises, then I can remove all senses and feelings and make them into killing machines that will exterminate the world. Gandalf: You've been watching Doctor Who again haven’t you? __________________ I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once. THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...