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Old 02-27-2011, 06:02 PM   #2841
Hookbill the Goomba
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Bring out your dead! Bring them out so they can read the Downer!



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING


If your head is still able to read after that series of craziness and stomach cramp inducing news, then you'll be happy to read the following words;
Grumbling. Shoes.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 02-28-2011, 02:32 PM   #2842
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The Poor Children!!!!!!
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Old 02-28-2011, 04:17 PM   #2843
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Eye

DEAR DOWNER
THIS WEEK’S GUEST COLUMNIST- Urwen


Nerwen writes- Who is better- Maedhros, Glaurung, Eru, or Beren?
Urwen answers- Well Maedhros is totally out, since he’s the one that made Melkor mad enough to make the plague that killed Lalaith. Plus everyone knows Melkor used Maedhros’s severed hand as source material. Glaurung was very very mean to Lalaith’s family, and he probably even laughed when she died. And Eru didn’t spare her somehow, even though her brother was. What, was she unworthy?! Big jerk. And Beren wouldn’t give the Silmaril to Feanor’s sons, so they got mad, and that’s why Doriath didn’t help Maedhros’s alliance, and if they had maybe they would’ve been strong enough to move quicker ahead of the plague or maybe Melian could’ve healed Lalaith or something. So no- they’re all bad!

Rikae writes- Would you be so kind as to come up with a scenario in which Lalaith marries Aragorn?
Urwen answers- Ha, I thought of that years ago!
Maedhros: “Never mind Morgoth. We give up. Let’s talk.”
Morgoth: “Okay, so, you surrender now?”
Maedhros: *stalls* “Um….”
Morgoth: “So….?”
Maedhros: “Ha ha, I was kidding! Just giving time for all children to be evacuated! Now we fight!
Thingol: “Yes, we will take care of Turin and Lalaith for you, Hurin.”
Melian: “And I will send Lalaith to Beren and Luthien and have them put her into enchanted sleep, because I had a dream that said Turin would marry his sister!”
Hurin: “Thanks, you guys are great.”
Luthien: “Hi, Lalaith. We’re taking you up to a cave in Ered Luin to sleep.”
**Many years pass**
Cirdan: “I’ve lived around here a long time, but never noticed this cave before.”
Lalaith: “I’m awake now!”
Cirdan: “I will send you to Elrond to grow up. He can tell you all the history you missed.”
Elrond: “Good job Lalaith. You’re completely smart now, and a good fighter and everything.”
Lalaith: “Who’s that?”
Elrond: “That’s my adopted son, Aragorn. He just got back from a long trip.”
Aragorn: “You’re really pretty and funny and stuff. I like you.”
Lalaith: “Yay!”

Galadriel55 writes- I think that the next logical step after obsession with a fictional toddler would be obsession with a real life toddler. What do you say to that?
Urwen answers- I'm kinda there already. I killed my parents so I could have my little sister, and I made her to answer to “Lalaith”. When she started looking too old to be Lalaith, I killed her and had her stuffed. Now she can always be my Lalaith! I love going on walks with her (I pull her in a wagon).

Phantom writes- Who’s your favorite Tolkien character?
Urwen answers- Oh, ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Sally writes- I heard a rumor that you’re secretly Nog, and he created your account just to have a bit of fun with us.
Urwen answers- Oh my! Perhaps we can have a private chat about this?
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Old 02-28-2011, 04:23 PM   #2844
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That last one totally happened, except the chat had nothing to do with Nog being Urwen.
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Old 02-28-2011, 04:50 PM   #2845
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Hahaha! Really? Urwen, you'd really kill Lalaith because you're upsest with her?


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Who’s your favorite Tolkien character?
What a question!
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Old 03-02-2011, 01:31 PM   #2846
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Did you do anything with Greenie's eyes on that pic, Hookbill, or is that a light effect? She looks so blissfully zombified!
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Old 03-02-2011, 06:52 PM   #2847
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Did you do anything with Greenie's eyes on that pic, Hookbill, or is that a light effect? She looks so blissfully zombified!
No, but I wish I had.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 03-06-2011, 06:01 PM   #2848
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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A magnificent round of lies and slander! Also, this weeks' Downer.

Thanks to Blind Guardian for this weeks second story!



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING


There's a joke I meant to do in P&A around here but I completely forgot about it. I'll have to do it later. It was very funny.
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Old 03-06-2011, 06:32 PM   #2849
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Anyway you look at it , the world is really really realy, real.
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Old 03-09-2011, 09:04 PM   #2850
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I just want to say: I have no grudge against De Phantom. And the horses look cool!

Oh, and that child freaks me out. Look at his eyes!
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Old 03-13-2011, 06:28 PM   #2851
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
When lies just aren't enough, there's always The Downer!



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING


Yes, I'm lazy and like to re-use old art whenever it suites me. Thanks for noticing.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 03-17-2011, 03:43 PM   #2852
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Check it out! My brother (of Volume 3 fame) did a neat little picture of Evilos the evil killer of death!

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Old 03-17-2011, 05:00 PM   #2853
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Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.Oddwen is a guest of Elrond in Rivendell.
I like his little vest.
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Old 03-18-2011, 11:23 AM   #2854
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That child still freaks me out. *shivers*
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Old 03-18-2011, 03:19 PM   #2855
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
I like the 3-D effect!

What's that blue thing on the right?
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Old 03-18-2011, 03:26 PM   #2856
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Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.Pitchwife is a guest of Galadriel in Lothlórien.
Looks like a spacetime singularity that has been misused as a voodoo doll to me.
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Old 03-20-2011, 06:00 PM   #2857
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Grab hold of your shirts and wriggle about in your chair! It's time for some news!



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING


Ho hum.
Alien and mayonnaise. They always end up together. If you're wodering why Alien isn't being burned by the mayo, you should remember that the mayo that burns him is clearly of the fat-free variety. Full fat mayo is okay with him.
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

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Old 03-21-2011, 02:05 PM   #2858
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Whoa...that was a wicked day dream of awesomness and terror and mayhem and......*slips back into day dream*
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Old 03-27-2011, 06:18 PM   #2859
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Eeep! The lost hour made this late. Sorry...



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING


It's all coming to a head. A BIG HEAD! WITH A BIG NOSE.
Yeah, sorry, no idea what I'm talking about here. But isn't that what the Downer is all about?
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Old 03-27-2011, 07:14 PM   #2860
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Quick! Bann B-W before he destroys the whole world!

Errr...

Oh.




PS: is it the delicious grass that made his face so powerful?
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Old 03-28-2011, 12:25 PM   #2861
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skip spence is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.skip spence is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
That article is grossly misleading. First of all, I DID NOT drink Rune's immortal soul. Okay, I tried to once, but it turned out he doesn't have one any longer. Sold it to the devil for beef and lager, apparently. Secondly, I DO NOT drink human souls. Well, there's some of it in my distillate, but there are many other ingredients as well...
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Old 03-30-2011, 06:37 PM   #2862
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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That article is grossly misleading. First of all, I DID NOT drink Rune's immortal soul. Okay, I tried to once, but it turned out he doesn't have one any longer. Sold it to the devil for beef and lager, apparently.
Next week there'll be a follow-up article - Truth About Rune Finally Revealed!
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Old 03-30-2011, 09:20 PM   #2863
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TGEW tried to drown herself in a pot of tea.
I see my reputation precedes me, Galadriel55.

Also, the lovely stories written by the guest writers these past three weeks is random and ridiculous, just how the Downer should be. Superb.
Hook, your writing is funny as always.
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Old 03-31-2011, 05:14 AM   #2864
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Quote:
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I see my reputation precedes me, Galadriel55.
I got the idea from this. It was a few weeks back:

"Police discover plot to destroy Tea Pot. TGEW called in to assist."

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Old 04-03-2011, 05:06 PM   #2865
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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Keeping YOU informed and ignorant at the same time! It's the Barrow Downs' third best Newspaper!



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING


Wahay! These prison scenarios are a lot of fun to write. I hope you find them mildly entertaining. Isn't it nice to see the phantom and Alien interacting properly for once? That's not happened for AGES! I've missed it.
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 04-04-2011, 12:32 PM   #2866
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The Phantom reminds me of Raven from Teen Titans.
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Old 04-04-2011, 05:28 PM   #2867
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
"...is good for the digestive system."

Of course a hobbit would say that!
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Old 04-10-2011, 05:12 PM   #2868
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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News trousers at the ready... It's time for the Downer



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
COMIC ARCHIVE THING


Loved by ents and Tom Bombadil! Well, they liked it when I drugged them anyway.
All this talk of prison reminds me too much of my home life. I hope the phantom and alien escape soon.
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Old 04-10-2011, 05:56 PM   #2869
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Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Galadriel55 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
"Soapy biscuits!"

I'm going to use this some day!
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Old 04-10-2011, 07:01 PM   #2870
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satansaloser2005 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.satansaloser2005 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.satansaloser2005 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.satansaloser2005 is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
Another example of shoddy journalism. I can personally assure you all that the phantom does not like blonde wigs. He greatly prefers brunettes.
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Old 04-17-2011, 05:04 PM   #2871
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Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.Hookbill the Goomba is lost in the dark paths of Moria.
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And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

PHANTOM AND ALIEN
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Squatter's hat is very important to him. NEVER INSULT IT!
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 04-24-2011, 05:04 PM   #2872
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Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

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That duck painting is evil! I wish I'd never drawn it!
Anyway... It's dawned on me that I'll probably have difficulty in making and posting the Newspaper when the Downer Finland moot takes place. Hmmm. I can make some in advance, I suppose, and hire a lackey to post them for me - like I did when I was in hospital a few years back. Any other ideas, loyal readers?
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I think that if you want facts, then The Downer Newspaper is probably the place to go. I know! I read it once.
THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...

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Old 04-25-2011, 04:12 AM   #2873
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I tried to open the door but it was Deadlock Sealed, so I opened the window instead. But there was just a face, and not a nice face at all. Perhaps Aulë was right...

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Old 04-27-2011, 12:38 PM   #2874
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No, no, no. That's the wrong door. The right one has "police box" on it. And it's bigger on the inside.

Also: Wigs are not cool. Baskets are cool. As are Stetsons. Fezes, no. Just no.
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:13 PM   #2875
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No, no, no. That's the wrong door. The right one has "police box" on it. And it's bigger on the inside.
Somebody clearly has a grip on how to get into Hookbill's good books!

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Also: Wigs are not cool. Baskets are cool. As are Stetsons. Fezes, no. Just no.
Everything the phantom wears is ipso facto cool. (With the possible exception of that silly green cap in the comic.)
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:32 PM   #2876
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Somebody clearly has a grip on how to get into Hookbill's good books!
It's a shame I threw my good books into a black hole, isn't it?

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Everything the phantom wears is ipso facto cool. (With the possible exception of that silly green cap in the comic.)
Hey, that hat is top of the line! State of the art! Crisp of the cusp! Good stuff!
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THE PHANTOM AND ALIEN: The Legend of the Golden Bus Ticket...
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Old 04-27-2011, 02:39 PM   #2877
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It's a shame I threw my good books into a black hole, isn't it?
Quite the contrary. One can never do too much to promote literacy among singularities! Why, rumour has it some of the poor things are so uncivilized they still go naked!
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Old 04-28-2011, 12:04 PM   #2878
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Everything the phantom wears is ipso facto cool. (With the possible exception of that silly green cap in the comic.)
True. But does it remain cool once he takes it off? Or does an insufficient quantity of coolness rub off onto it to make the item itself remain cool?

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Quite the contrary. One can never do too much to promote literacy among singularities! Why, rumour has it some of the poor things are so uncivilized they still go naked!
Really?

Best throw a few copies of the Downer in there, too; how else would they know what really (doesn't - er, does! Does! Don't hurt me Mr. Hookbill . . .) goes on in the world?
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Old 04-28-2011, 01:18 PM   #2879
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True. But does it remain cool once he takes it off? Or does an insufficient quantity of coolness rub off onto it to make the item itself remain cool?
Hmm. This is hard to answer without extensive experimental testing, but my working hypothesis would be that taking it off would be equivalent to taking it out of the fridge; the rest is entropy.
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Old 05-08-2011, 09:04 AM   #2880
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YOU GUYS!

Sorry! I completely forgot to post last week's paper and P&A... Eeeek!



And now for your regularly scheduled Phalian.


Don't forget that if you've lost track of The Phantom and Alien, you can look back though the...

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COMIC ARCHIVE THING


Right, so you get another instalment in a few hours.
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