101 Things LOTR Characters Would Never Say - Page 5 - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

03-28-2002, 10:00 AM

okay, i'm not really good at this, but i'm gonna try...

Frodo: The name is Baggins, Frodo Baggins. (pulls his little hobbitsword)

Frodo: (after he saw the eye) Wow, Sauron! I just looooove that mascara! Where did you get it?

Any Ork: look at this cute little Hobbits! Can I keep them, Sauron, please??????

Legolas: Oh rats, I broke another nail!

Gandalf: does this beard make me look old?

Arwen: (after she saw Aragorn) Is that my date? Ewwww... does he never wash his hair?

That' s all I could do, sorry! Hope ya like it!

Lush · 03-28-2002, 05:31 PM

Gimli (upon beholding Galadriel): "Heh, guess you could say she took a nose-dive off the ugly tree and hit every branch coming down."

Shadowfax: "That's it, I'm knackered, and your wizardry butt is walkin' to Gondor as far as I'm concerned, be you Gandalf the White, the Grey, or the Red Hot Pink."

Saruman: "Mwahahaha!!! Betcha didn't know I had flood insurance!"

Birdland · 03-28-2002, 10:46 PM

Arwen to Aragorn: "Swagger it, swagger it, my little cock-o-whoop."

(Hey, it's canon!)

non_conformist13 · 03-28-2002, 11:26 PM

Saruman: I shall fart in your general direction! now go, or i shall taunt you a second time!

Selob: I'm claustraphobic!

Sam to Gollum or Frod to Shelob: Bite Me.

Aragorn to the Witchking: You son of a mother less goat!

Witchking to Eowyn: Can I get your number? We should go out sometime. I know this real nice place between the dead and the living, real romantic and all. I think you'd like it...

Sauron: I never meant to hurt anyone, honest.

Gandalf ( in purple, with plungers on his head): There are no orcs in this valley! I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I need to go to the bathroom. This cloak is very constricting, I'm coming home now.
Radaghast: but the fate of Middle Earth rests in your... wizard staff.

mom: What do you want to be when you grow up sam?
Sam: a Sheriff.

Samwise · 03-29-2002, 04:21 PM

non_conformist13, hullo and welcome to the 'downs! Be sure an' pos lots!

Quote:

"There was a lot more," said Sam, "all about Mordor. I didn't learn that part, it gave me the shivers. "

Samwise · 03-29-2002, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Be sure an' pos lots!

Agh....I meant, "POST" lots!

Quote:

Sam refused to leave his master. He came and sat, curled up at Frodo's feet, where at last he nodded and closed his eyes.

Lush · 03-29-2002, 06:15 PM

Frodo to the Eye of Sauron: "You lookin' at me? There ain't nobody else here, you must be lookin' at me."

Niere-Teleliniel · 03-30-2002, 12:30 PM

Celeborn to Galadriel: "That's it! I've had it with you, woman! Get back into the kitchen where you belong and take your stupid bowl with you!"

(hehe, we might be over 101 by now [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] )

Samwise · 03-30-2002, 02:44 PM

We may be.

Gaffer to Sam:
"Elves and Dragons? Boy, howdy, son, I wish I could go see them with you. I've got these boring cabbages and taters t' tend to, though.....

Quote:

LOTR (Movie) Moment (III) (Second Breakfast)
Pippin stops to cook
Aragorn says there's no time
Apple hits a head.

Copyright 2002 S. Uffelman

03-30-2002, 02:54 PM

quote-Legolas: Oh, a mirror!! Can I keep it, Auntie Galadriel, please!!!

nothing wrong with Legolas...he is perfecton!lol
could i just point somthing out...legolas does not carry a hair brush or anyting...right? then how come his hair is always perfect????

Eärendil · 03-30-2002, 03:37 PM

He´s an ELF, that explains it all! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

non_conformist13 · 03-30-2002, 09:55 PM

well...thanks, i guess, i've actually been here for a while, but that's okay. you guys all have awesome names, especially Samwise, cause he's the best! and your right, Legolas's hair is always perfect, it's creepy.

and hello to everyone! espically people who know Mrs. Thrasher. (ha, now do you know who it is) anyway...

Gimili: "I feel a...love connection"

Gandalf: Oh! Ouch, that darned white flame burned my hand again... ooh that smarts!

Pippin: "oh, what's that? a pint, don't you think you should hold off a little, merry, no one likes a drunk you know..."

Aragorn: flowers are for wusses

[img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

Samwise · 03-30-2002, 10:15 PM

Stacey: (Samwise's alter-ego) Oooh. Don't tell him that, he might get a swelled head...
WHAT AM I SAYING!?!?! I'm talking about SAM...

Quote:

Sam: "What's the time? Is it today or tomorrow?"
(LOL! This sounds an awful lot like me when in my "human" form!!)

Iaragarwen · 03-30-2002, 11:16 PM

Frodo is in the lair of Shelbob as he's holding Galadriel's phial: Ahhh! is that a dead fly? (he drops the phial) [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img]

Birdland · 03-31-2002, 12:00 AM

Quote:

I'm talking about SAM...

And we can dig it. [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]

ElanorGamgee · 03-31-2002, 09:43 PM

Faramir: "Gimmi that ring, halfling!" *pushes Frodo over*

Frodo: "Bilbo, you know I hate poetry."

Gimli (to Legolas): "Oooh, goody, an elf! I've always wanted to meet one! What's your name? I just love your hair!"

Eowyn of Ithilien · 04-01-2002, 12:02 AM

Eowyn to Witchking-GURLPOWERRRRRRRRRR!
Aragorn to Gandalf-may the pipeweed be with you
in sleep he sang to me
in dreams he came
that Eye that calls to me
and speaks my name

*I'm lame...and you Princess Bride people worry me!!! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]*

non_conformist13 · 04-01-2002, 12:52 AM

princess bride, monty python:search for the holy grail, and the three amigos rock!

Bilbo: on second thought, maybe i shouldn't have given frodo the ring, thereby bestowing the most horrible fate immaginale on him...

Legolas: shut-up you nitwits! i'm trying to listen to my MUSIC! drat, the batteries on my walkman ran out...

Sam: hey, mister frodo, when was the last time you washed your clothes? i'm afraid there's a bit of a stench, and it isn't my doing!

Gimili: oh! darn it! stubbed my toe on a stupid rock. who put this here anyway, it's quite dangerous, might as well just shoot me with an arrow than leave all these stones lying about!

Aragorn: i'm sorry gandalf, but could you take the lead for a while, i believe my allergies are starting to get at me.

Pippin: oh, no, gandalf! what an awful creature you are dealing with, that filthy balrog. wish i could do something, but i think we'll all just stand around in shock and watch you fall into the abyss.

gollum: sssssay PLEASSSSE SSSSSSSam, forss crying out loud, i'll gladly ssssshare with you, but we musssstn't forgetsssssss our mannerssssss, isssn't that rightsssss prescousssssssssssssss?

Altariel · 04-01-2002, 01:59 AM

All you people are funnier than me... but...

Sam: Bah... we don't need to see the elves. Elves are losers.

Sauron (to Saruman, through the Palantir): Saruman, have you found the halfling? And... do you think I'm ugly? How come no one comes to visit me anymore? I feel like I have no friends. You're my friend, aren't you, Saruman?

Nazgul: You know, I'm getting tired of all this black... we should all go out and get tie-dyed t-shirts!

Witch-king: Eowyn, do you think we could ever be more than just friends?

Polly Sandybanks · 04-01-2002, 03:45 AM

LOL [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

These are all great!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Sam: These pots and pans are way too heavy.. I think I'll just leave them here.

Sam (to Frodo): Come with you to Mordor?? No way!! *runs off in other direction*

Vinyaampawen · 04-01-2002, 06:04 AM

Aragorn: Legolas, you are too pretty to go with us to Mordor. You will miss your hair appointment and your hair will frizz up on the journey. Did you pack your hair dryer? Remember I want to use it too!

Legolas: Aragorn, you are probably right. I should not go on the trip to Mordor. I can not miss another hair appointment...my hair is such a fright as it is...and have you noticed? My roots are starting to show.

Frodo: But Legolas I was counting on you bringing your hair dryer so that I could blow dry my hair straight. You know it gets so curly in the mountain mist in the morning and I never know what to do with it. I never have a good hair day on the road.

Gandalf: Legolas, I was expecting you to bring your scissors so you could trim my hair and beard...and don't forget we have a hair appointment to color my hair and beard purple for next month's rock concert in Lothlorien. You promised....

Legolas: Yes Gandalf I know. But my roots are starting to show and I will miss another hair appointment if I go on the trip with you, Frodo, Aragorn and everyone else. If I don't keep this appointment, Sauron is going to think I became one of his soldiers and then where will we be? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Vinyaampawen · 04-01-2002, 06:05 AM

Aragorn: Legolas, you are too pretty to go with us to Mordor. You will miss your hair appointment and your hair will frizz up on the journey. Did you pack your hair dryer? Remember I want to use it too!

Legolas: Aragorn, you are probably right. I should not go on the trip to Mordor. I can not miss another hair appointment...my hair is such a fright as it is...and have you noticed? My roots are starting to show.

Frodo: But Legolas I was counting on you bringing your hair dryer so that I could blow dry my hair straight. You know it gets so curly in the mountain mist in the morning and I never know what to do with it. I never have a good hair day on the road.

Gandalf: Legolas, I was expecting you to bring your scissors so you could trim my hair and beard...and don't forget we have a hair appointment to color my hair and beard purple for next month's rock concert in Lothlorien. You promised....

Legolas: Yes Gandalf I know. But my roots are starting to show and I will miss another hair appointment if I go on the trip with you, Frodo, Aragorn and everyone else. If I don't keep this appointment, Sauron is going to think I became one of his soldiers and then where will we be? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Nevfeniel · 04-01-2002, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Gandalf to Frodo: I'm not going to lie to you frodo every Man and Dwarf who fought a Nazgul has died. I've seen them punch through mithril. Elves have emptied entire quivers at them and hit nothing but air. Where they have failed you will succeed. There strength is based on wraith-world and because of that they will never be as strong or as fast as you can be.
Frodo: Are you saying I can dodge arrows?

Gandalf: I'm saying when the time comes you won't have to.

(this is only funny if you've seen The Matrix)

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] LOL that was probably the funniest one I've seen yet.

Samwise · 04-01-2002, 04:03 PM

Altariel, welcome from Bagshot Row! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]
~your fireindly neighborhood gardener.

Quote:

'Yes, I am with you, Master,' said Sam...'And you're with me. And the journey's finished. But after coming all that way I don't want to give up yet. It's not like me, somehow, if you understand.'"
Sam Gamgee

Nevfeniel · 04-01-2002, 04:21 PM

Ooh, just thought of something!

Saruman(to Treebeard after looking @ Orthanc) I love what you've done to the place! Will you be my interior decorator full-time?

Rosa Underhill · 04-01-2002, 07:08 PM

Aragorn: Mankind's outta gas, we're just circlin' the drain... (Sorry, was watching Titan A.E.)

Beorn to Gwaihir: So where's the wizard?

Gwaihir: Eh, that's where we hit a bit of a gray area...

Beorn *grabs Gwaihir's eye feathers*: You didn't get the wizard?!

Gwairhir: It wasn't my fault! There was this moth!... (Eh, saw Quest for Camelot recently, too.)

Samwise · 04-01-2002, 07:54 PM

Rosa??? Is that YOU??? [img]smilies/eek.gif[/img]
(Sorry, I'm in sort of a wierd mood today...)

Quote:

"Bill, my lad, you ought'nt to have took up with us. You could have stayed here and et the best hay till the new grass comes. "
~Sam Gamgee

Samwise · 04-01-2002, 08:02 PM

(Back to the topic)
Sam (about Bill) That old nag?? What'n blazes do we wanna take HIM for?? What? ME lead 'im? No way, I ain't touchin' the flea-bitten beast."
(And I KNOW Sam wouldn't say this, 'cause I recently read what happened at the entrance to the Mines of Moria....*sniffle* [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] --Why don't they have one of these little faces that's bawling!?!? )

Quote:

It was Sam who had insisted on choosing him, declaring that Bill (as he called him) would pine if he did not come.
"That animal can nearly talk," he said, "and would talk, if he stayed here much longer. He gave me a look as plain as Mr. Pippin could speak it: if you don't let me go with you, Sam, I'll follow on my own. "

[img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Samwise · 04-01-2002, 08:04 PM

(Back to the topic)
Sam (about Bill) That old nag?? What'n blazes do we wanna take HIM for?? What? ME lead 'im? No way, I ain't touchin' the flea-bitten beast."
(And I KNOW Sam wouldn't say this, 'cause I recently read what happened at the entrance to the Mines of Moria....*sniffle* [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] --Why don't they have one of these little faces that's bawling!?!? )

Quote:

It was Sam who had insisted on choosing him, declaring that Bill (as he called him) would pine if he did not come.
"That animal can nearly talk," he said, "and would talk, if he stayed here much longer. He gave me a look as plain as Mr. Pippin could speak it: if you don't let me go with you, Sam, I'll follow on my own. "

[img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Samwise · 04-01-2002, 08:06 PM

(Back to the topic)
Sam (about Bill) That old nag?? What'n blazes do we wanna take HIM for?? What? ME lead 'im? No way, I ain't touchin' the flea-bitten beast."
(And I KNOW Sam wouldn't say this, 'cause I recently read what happened at the entrance to the Mines of Moria....*sniffle* [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] --Why don't they have one of these little faces that's bawling!?!? )

Quote:

It was Sam who had insisted on choosing him, declaring that Bill (as he called him) would pine if he did not come.
"That animal can nearly talk," he said, "and would talk, if he stayed here much longer. He gave me a look as plain as Mr. Pippin could speak it: if you don't let me go with you, Sam, I'll follow on my own. "

[img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img] [img]smilies/frown.gif[/img]

Elenya · 04-01-2002, 09:43 PM

The crew at Helm's Deep (in unison):
War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! War! Huh! Sing it again!

The Fellowship:
We are Men! We're Men in Tights! (Tight Tights!)

Frodo turns to Sam at the top of the mountain at the end of the fellowship:
"Just the two of us! We can make it if we try! Just the two of us! You and I!"

The little French midget (from The Man with The Golden Gun) to Saruman:
The Ring! The Ring, Boss! The Ring!

Gandalf on Orthanc: Where's my Nimbus 2000 when I need it? All the other wizards have them! Except for Saruman, the lucky jerk; he got a Firebolt!

It's late and I'm tired, so I understand if you don't get them!

Kalimac · 04-01-2002, 10:38 PM

Hello, Rosa! Where on earth did you come from?

Elrond: Do you hear that sound, Mr. Witchking? It is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound of...your death.

The Ringwraiths: We are the Ringwraiths who don't do anything/We just stay at home and lie around! (Apologies to anyone who hasn't seen Veggie Tales at some point).

Sam: Mr. Frodo, you're so wrong it's not even funny.

Any Hobbit: Yes, I know exactly where we are! Geography was always my favorite class!

Arwen: Estel, I've decided to move back to Lothlorien. No, it's not like that at all! I had a great job offer there and, well, we'll be all right! We'll talk over the palantir every evening. You see, we both need the space.

Bilbo: Frankly, Frodo my lad, the best thing I ever did was bequeathing you that Ring. Pretty narrow shave for me there, huh?

Denethor: Whanne that Aprille with sweete shoures soote.

Nevtalathiel · 04-02-2002, 09:27 AM

LOL everyone, they're really funny nad I coulndn't resist having a go myself, though they're probably not as good

Aragorn:Why do I have to have this old broken sword? I want a new one! *stamps foot, scowls nad goes off in a sulk*

Aragorn to frodo at the Prancing Pony:I really loved that disappearing trick, will you teach me how to do it?

Treebeard:We were quite glad to be rid of those ent-wives, they were SO annoying!

Galadriel at the hairdresser:Cut it off, cut it all off!

Gwaihir to Gandalf:No I don't want to carry you, you've got feet use them!

pippin_took0 · 04-02-2002, 09:49 AM

Aragorn (to Arwen): You can't give me this
Arwen: It is mine to give to- hey, you're right, it would be totally wasted on you

Legolas: Child of the 60s! Peace and love is the answer!

saruman: I give up. I'm going to get a REAL job.

pippin_took0 · 04-02-2002, 09:58 AM

Oooh I thought of more:

Aragorn (at Dimrill Dale): Well, Frodo and Sam have gone to Mordor, there's not much more we can do. I call it a day. Let's go home.

Gimli (about the mountain): Over it, under it, makes no difference to me!

Galadriel: will you look into my birdbath?

Galadriel: INSTEAD OF A DARK LORD YOU SHALL HAVE- Oh, actually, I don't think so. Green's not really my colour

Haldir: How did you creep up on us like that?

Galadriel (when offered the Ring): Rings of power? They are SO last age!

frodo: Sam, Gandalf said I should take someone I trust with me to Mordor. Come on Boromir, are you realy yet?

Perethil · 04-02-2002, 10:28 AM

legolas: keep that doobie going!

nazgul: i come in peace

aragorn: No time for the old in-out, love. I've just come to read the meter.

thorin oakenshield: u know, sometimes i think, what is all this gold truly FOR?

sam: master frodo, you know i love you very much, but im just... not into that kind of thing.

sauron: ring, shming, im tired of all this.

gandalf: (after being offered some pipe weed) no thanks! ill go without!

bilbo: u know, sometimes i remember that whole lonely mountain thing, and i just think: what an utter waste of time!

Manwe: the elves and men are suffering for nothing! let us help them!

frodo: strider, take a BATH!!

pippin_took0 · 04-03-2002, 02:54 AM

Here's another one I thought of last night while I was falling asleep, so if you don't get it, I'm not really surprised; insomnia doesn't make for the best sense of humour.

Saruman in the scouring of the Shire: Welcome home my dear halfling friends, I hope your journey was good. I've taken every care to ensure that the Shire is just as you left it, if not better!

Menewilwarin of Mirkwood · 04-03-2002, 04:01 AM

These are so very very good - here is my humble attempt...

Bill, Tom or Bert (the trolls): say, why don't we let these dwarves go, i mean i'm really really full now... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Samwise · 04-03-2002, 11:34 AM

Menewilwarin an' Perithil, hullo!
~your friendly neighborhood gardener.

Quote:

"You'd better be hidden, Mr. Frodo." said Sam. "We'll send this rider to the rightabouts! "

Nuranar · 04-03-2002, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Gandalf ( in purple, with plungers on his head): There are no orcs in this valley! I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I need to go to the bathroom. This cloak is very constricting, I'm coming home now.
Radaghast: but the fate of Middle Earth rests in your... wizard staff.

Quote:

The Ringwraiths: We are the Ringwraiths who don't do anything/We just stay at home and lie around! (Apologies to anyone who hasn't seen Veggie Tales at some point).

non_conformist13 and Kalimac, you rock! VeggieTales is the greatest!!

03-28-2002, 05:31 PM	#162
Lush Fair and Cold Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: the big onion Posts: 1,803	Gimli (upon beholding Galadriel): "Heh, guess you could say she took a nose-dive off the ugly tree and hit every branch coming down." Shadowfax: "That's it, I'm knackered, and your wizardry butt is walkin' to Gondor as far as I'm concerned, be you Gandalf the White, the Grey, or the Red Hot Pink." Saruman: "Mwahahaha!!! Betcha didn't know I had flood insurance!" __________________ ~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~

03-28-2002, 11:26 PM	#164
non_conformist13 Pile O'Bones Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: mars Posts: 12	Saruman: I shall fart in your general direction! now go, or i shall taunt you a second time! Selob: I'm claustraphobic! Sam to Gollum or Frod to Shelob: Bite Me. Aragorn to the Witchking: You son of a mother less goat! Witchking to Eowyn: Can I get your number? We should go out sometime. I know this real nice place between the dead and the living, real romantic and all. I think you'd like it... Sauron: I never meant to hurt anyone, honest. Gandalf ( in purple, with plungers on his head): There are no orcs in this valley! I'm tired, I'm hungry, and I need to go to the bathroom. This cloak is very constricting, I'm coming home now. Radaghast: but the fate of Middle Earth rests in your... wizard staff. mom: What do you want to be when you grow up sam? Sam: a Sheriff. __________________ "I can add some more if you like it, calling your Chief names, wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and thinking you Sheriffs look a lot of Tom-fools!" Samwise Gamgee Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed, by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

03-29-2002, 06:15 PM	#167
Lush Fair and Cold Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: the big onion Posts: 1,803	Frodo to the Eye of Sauron: "You lookin' at me? There ain't nobody else here, you must be lookin' at me." __________________ ~The beginning is the word and the end is silence. And in between are all the stories. This is one of mine~

03-30-2002, 12:30 PM	#168
Niere-Teleliniel Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: In a messy room on the third floor. Posts: 67	Celeborn to Galadriel: "That's it! I've had it with you, woman! Get back into the kitchen where you belong and take your stupid bowl with you!" (hehe, we might be over 101 by now [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] ) __________________ He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.... ~Douglas Adams

03-30-2002, 03:37 PM	#171
Eärendil Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Valinor (RtL: 1220 miles) Posts: 562	He´s an ELF, that explains it all! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] __________________ Jag ska aldrig göra dig illa. Inte igen. Åtminstone inte mycket, åtminstone inte hårt. Kommer du ihåg? Då vi fortfarande kunde skratta, le på ett äkta vis. Jag tänker på det ibland. Det smärtar. För aldrig har du väl varit. Längre bort. Från mig.

03-28-2002, 10:00 AM	#161
Haebrethiliel Guest Posts: n/a	okay, i'm not really good at this, but i'm gonna try... Frodo: The name is Baggins, Frodo Baggins. (pulls his little hobbitsword) Frodo: (after he saw the eye) Wow, Sauron! I just looooove that mascara! Where did you get it? Any Ork: look at this cute little Hobbits! Can I keep them, Sauron, please?????? Legolas: Oh rats, I broke another nail! Gandalf: does this beard make me look old? Arwen: (after she saw Aragorn) Is that my date? Ewwww... does he never wash his hair? That' s all I could do, sorry! Hope ya like it!

03-28-2002, 10:46 PM	#163
Birdland Ghastly Neekerbreeker Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: the banks of the mighty Scioto Posts: 1,757	Arwen to Aragorn: "Swagger it, swagger it, my little cock-o-whoop." (Hey, it's canon!)

03-30-2002, 02:54 PM	#170
Dolenthangiel Guest Posts: n/a	quote-Legolas: Oh, a mirror!! Can I keep it, Auntie Galadriel, please!!! nothing wrong with Legolas...he is perfecton!lol could i just point somthing out...legolas does not carry a hair brush or anyting...right? then how come his hair is always perfect????

03-30-2002, 09:55 PM	#172
non_conformist13 Pile O'Bones Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: mars Posts: 12	well...thanks, i guess, i've actually been here for a while, but that's okay. you guys all have awesome names, especially Samwise, cause he's the best! and your right, Legolas's hair is always perfect, it's creepy. and hello to everyone! espically people who know Mrs. Thrasher. (ha, now do you know who it is) anyway... Gimili: "I feel a...love connection" Gandalf: Oh! Ouch, that darned white flame burned my hand again... ooh that smarts! Pippin: "oh, what's that? a pint, don't you think you should hold off a little, merry, no one likes a drunk you know..." Aragorn: flowers are for wusses [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img] __________________ "I can add some more if you like it, calling your Chief names, wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and thinking you Sheriffs look a lot of Tom-fools!" Samwise Gamgee Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed, by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

03-30-2002, 11:16 PM	#174
Iaragarwen Pile O'Bones Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 16	Frodo is in the lair of Shelbob as he's holding Galadriel's phial: Ahhh! is that a dead fly? (he drops the phial) [img]smilies/tongue.gif[/img] __________________ 'elen sila lumenn omentielvo' 'a star shines on the hour of our meeting'

03-31-2002, 09:43 PM	#176
ElanorGamgee Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 314	Faramir: "Gimmi that ring, halfling!" pushes Frodo over Frodo: "Bilbo, you know I hate poetry." Gimli (to Legolas): "Oooh, goody, an elf! I've always wanted to meet one! What's your name? I just love your hair!" __________________ Soli Deo Gloria

04-01-2002, 12:02 AM	#177
Eowyn of Ithilien Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Australia Posts: 277	Eowyn to Witchking-GURLPOWERRRRRRRRRR! Aragorn to Gandalf-may the pipeweed be with you in sleep he sang to me in dreams he came that Eye that calls to me and speaks my name I'm lame...and you Princess Bride people worry me!!! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] __________________ But of bliss and glad life there is little to be said, before it ends; as works fair and wonderful, while still they endure for eyes to see, are their own record, and only when they are in peril or broken for ever do they pass into song.

04-01-2002, 12:52 AM	#178
non_conformist13 Pile O'Bones Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: mars Posts: 12	princess bride, monty python:search for the holy grail, and the three amigos rock! Bilbo: on second thought, maybe i shouldn't have given frodo the ring, thereby bestowing the most horrible fate immaginale on him... Legolas: shut-up you nitwits! i'm trying to listen to my MUSIC! drat, the batteries on my walkman ran out... Sam: hey, mister frodo, when was the last time you washed your clothes? i'm afraid there's a bit of a stench, and it isn't my doing! Gimili: oh! darn it! stubbed my toe on a stupid rock. who put this here anyway, it's quite dangerous, might as well just shoot me with an arrow than leave all these stones lying about! Aragorn: i'm sorry gandalf, but could you take the lead for a while, i believe my allergies are starting to get at me. Pippin: oh, no, gandalf! what an awful creature you are dealing with, that filthy balrog. wish i could do something, but i think we'll all just stand around in shock and watch you fall into the abyss. gollum: sssssay PLEASSSSE SSSSSSSam, forss crying out loud, i'll gladly ssssshare with you, but we musssstn't forgetsssssss our mannerssssss, isssn't that rightsssss prescousssssssssssssss? __________________ "I can add some more if you like it, calling your Chief names, wishing to punch his Pimply Face, and thinking you Sheriffs look a lot of Tom-fools!" Samwise Gamgee Be not conformed to this world, but be transformed, by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2

04-01-2002, 01:59 AM	#179
Altariel Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Angband (a small region in northern BC) Posts: 50	All you people are funnier than me... but... Sam: Bah... we don't need to see the elves. Elves are losers. Sauron (to Saruman, through the Palantir): Saruman, have you found the halfling? And... do you think I'm ugly? How come no one comes to visit me anymore? I feel like I have no friends. You're my friend, aren't you, Saruman? Nazgul: You know, I'm getting tired of all this black... we should all go out and get tie-dyed t-shirts! Witch-king: Eowyn, do you think we could ever be more than just friends? __________________ "Candy: tastes like chicken, if chicken was a candy."

04-01-2002, 03:45 AM	#180
Polly Sandybanks Pile O'Bones Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Sweden Posts: 12	LOL [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] These are all great!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] Sam: These pots and pans are way too heavy.. I think I'll just leave them here. Sam (to Frodo): Come with you to Mordor?? No way!! runs off in other direction __________________ In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

04-01-2002, 06:04 AM	#181
Vinyaampawen Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Rivendell, Middle Earth Posts: 30	Aragorn: Legolas, you are too pretty to go with us to Mordor. You will miss your hair appointment and your hair will frizz up on the journey. Did you pack your hair dryer? Remember I want to use it too! Legolas: Aragorn, you are probably right. I should not go on the trip to Mordor. I can not miss another hair appointment...my hair is such a fright as it is...and have you noticed? My roots are starting to show. Frodo: But Legolas I was counting on you bringing your hair dryer so that I could blow dry my hair straight. You know it gets so curly in the mountain mist in the morning and I never know what to do with it. I never have a good hair day on the road. Gandalf: Legolas, I was expecting you to bring your scissors so you could trim my hair and beard...and don't forget we have a hair appointment to color my hair and beard purple for next month's rock concert in Lothlorien. You promised.... Legolas: Yes Gandalf I know. But my roots are starting to show and I will miss another hair appointment if I go on the trip with you, Frodo, Aragorn and everyone else. If I don't keep this appointment, Sauron is going to think I became one of his soldiers and then where will we be? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] __________________ Vinyaampawen

04-01-2002, 06:05 AM	#182
Vinyaampawen Animated Skeleton Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Rivendell, Middle Earth Posts: 30	Aragorn: Legolas, you are too pretty to go with us to Mordor. You will miss your hair appointment and your hair will frizz up on the journey. Did you pack your hair dryer? Remember I want to use it too! Legolas: Aragorn, you are probably right. I should not go on the trip to Mordor. I can not miss another hair appointment...my hair is such a fright as it is...and have you noticed? My roots are starting to show. Frodo: But Legolas I was counting on you bringing your hair dryer so that I could blow dry my hair straight. You know it gets so curly in the mountain mist in the morning and I never know what to do with it. I never have a good hair day on the road. Gandalf: Legolas, I was expecting you to bring your scissors so you could trim my hair and beard...and don't forget we have a hair appointment to color my hair and beard purple for next month's rock concert in Lothlorien. You promised.... Legolas: Yes Gandalf I know. But my roots are starting to show and I will miss another hair appointment if I go on the trip with you, Frodo, Aragorn and everyone else. If I don't keep this appointment, Sauron is going to think I became one of his soldiers and then where will we be? [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img] __________________ Vinyaampawen

04-01-2002, 04:21 PM	#185
Nevfeniel Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Mithlond Posts: 783	Ooh, just thought of something! Saruman(to Treebeard after looking @ Orthanc) I love what you've done to the place! Will you be my interior decorator full-time? __________________ Consider the purr a variety of audible tranquilizer. [. . .] For a few of us, there is one more purr, a secret purr. When we combine our secret purrs, we produce the Purr of Power. And that is simply the amplified amity we feel as furred and purred beings.

04-01-2002, 07:08 PM	#186
Rosa Underhill Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Waymeet, the Shire Posts: 297	Aragorn: Mankind's outta gas, we're just circlin' the drain... (Sorry, was watching Titan A.E.) Beorn to Gwaihir: So where's the wizard? Gwaihir: Eh, that's where we hit a bit of a gray area... Beorn grabs Gwaihir's eye feathers: You didn't get the wizard?! Gwairhir: It wasn't my fault! There was this moth!... (Eh, saw Quest for Camelot recently, too.) __________________ WWAHD? (What would a Hobbit do?)

04-01-2002, 09:43 PM	#191
Elenya Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: See that mound of earth? No, no, the one to the left.....There you go Posts: 96	The crew at Helm's Deep (in unison): War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! War! Huh! Sing it again! The Fellowship: We are Men! We're Men in Tights! (Tight Tights!) Frodo turns to Sam at the top of the mountain at the end of the fellowship: "Just the two of us! We can make it if we try! Just the two of us! You and I!" The little French midget (from The Man with The Golden Gun) to Saruman: The Ring! The Ring, Boss! The Ring! Gandalf on Orthanc: Where's my Nimbus 2000 when I need it? All the other wizards have them! Except for Saruman, the lucky jerk; he got a Firebolt! It's late and I'm tired, so I understand if you don't get them! __________________ "And at night, I cruise the streets of Gotham City in my Davemobile" -Dave Nelson

04-01-2002, 10:38 PM	#192
Kalimac Candle of the Marshes Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Flyover Country Posts: 780	Hello, Rosa! Where on earth did you come from? Elrond: Do you hear that sound, Mr. Witchking? It is the sound of inevitability. It is the sound of...your death. The Ringwraiths: We are the Ringwraiths who don't do anything/We just stay at home and lie around! (Apologies to anyone who hasn't seen Veggie Tales at some point). Sam: Mr. Frodo, you're so wrong it's not even funny. Any Hobbit: Yes, I know exactly where we are! Geography was always my favorite class! Arwen: Estel, I've decided to move back to Lothlorien. No, it's not like that at all! I had a great job offer there and, well, we'll be all right! We'll talk over the palantir every evening. You see, we both need the space. Bilbo: Frankly, Frodo my lad, the best thing I ever did was bequeathing you that Ring. Pretty narrow shave for me there, huh? Denethor: Whanne that Aprille with sweete shoures soote. __________________ Father, dear Father, if you see fit, We'll send my love to college for one year yet Tie blue ribbons all about his head, To let the ladies know that he's married.

04-02-2002, 09:27 AM	#193
Nevtalathiel Shade of Carn Dûm Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: The depths of delusion Posts: 374	LOL everyone, they're really funny nad I coulndn't resist having a go myself, though they're probably not as good Aragorn:Why do I have to have this old broken sword? I want a new one! stamps foot, scowls nad goes off in a sulk Aragorn to frodo at the Prancing Pony:I really loved that disappearing trick, will you teach me how to do it? Treebeard:We were quite glad to be rid of those ent-wives, they were SO annoying! Galadriel at the hairdresser:Cut it off, cut it all off! Gwaihir to Gandalf:No I don't want to carry you, you've got feet use them! __________________ "You can go a long way with a smile. You can go even further with a smile and a gun." - Al Capone

04-02-2002, 09:49 AM	#194
pippin_took0 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 82	Aragorn (to Arwen): You can't give me this Arwen: It is mine to give to- hey, you're right, it would be totally wasted on you Legolas: Child of the 60s! Peace and love is the answer! saruman: I give up. I'm going to get a REAL job.

04-02-2002, 09:58 AM	#195
pippin_took0 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 82	Oooh I thought of more: Aragorn (at Dimrill Dale): Well, Frodo and Sam have gone to Mordor, there's not much more we can do. I call it a day. Let's go home. Gimli (about the mountain): Over it, under it, makes no difference to me! Galadriel: will you look into my birdbath? Galadriel: INSTEAD OF A DARK LORD YOU SHALL HAVE- Oh, actually, I don't think so. Green's not really my colour Haldir: How did you creep up on us like that? Galadriel (when offered the Ring): Rings of power? They are SO last age! frodo: Sam, Gandalf said I should take someone I trust with me to Mordor. Come on Boromir, are you realy yet?

04-02-2002, 10:28 AM	#196
Perethil Pile O'Bones Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Istanbul, Turkey Posts: 21	legolas: keep that doobie going! nazgul: i come in peace aragorn: No time for the old in-out, love. I've just come to read the meter. thorin oakenshield: u know, sometimes i think, what is all this gold truly FOR? sam: master frodo, you know i love you very much, but im just... not into that kind of thing. sauron: ring, shming, im tired of all this. gandalf: (after being offered some pipe weed) no thanks! ill go without! bilbo: u know, sometimes i remember that whole lonely mountain thing, and i just think: what an utter waste of time! Manwe: the elves and men are suffering for nothing! let us help them! frodo: strider, take a BATH!!

04-03-2002, 02:54 AM	#197
pippin_took0 Haunting Spirit Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Middle Earth Posts: 82	Here's another one I thought of last night while I was falling asleep, so if you don't get it, I'm not really surprised; insomnia doesn't make for the best sense of humour. Saruman in the scouring of the Shire: Welcome home my dear halfling friends, I hope your journey was good. I've taken every care to ensure that the Shire is just as you left it, if not better!

04-03-2002, 04:01 AM	#198
Menewilwarin of Mirkwood Pile O'Bones Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: England (Earth) / Mirkwood (Middle Earth) Posts: 12	These are so very very good - here is my humble attempt... Bill, Tom or Bert (the trolls): say, why don't we let these dwarves go, i mean i'm really really full now... [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] __________________ A Elbereth Gilthoniel o menel palan-diriel, le nallon si di'nguruthos! A tiro nin, Fanuilos!

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