Mad Libs

[Kuruharan]

'Come hither!' he cried to his window washers. 'Come, if you are not all mentally unstable!' Then 78 of them cavorted up the harmonicas to him. Swiftly he snatched a harpoon from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the harpoon amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor liberated upon the table, and standing there wreathed in life boats and bugles he took the bugaboo of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his gizzard. Casting the pieces into the blaze he bulldozed and laid himself on the table, clasping the bulkhead with both pinkies upon his gullett. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that bulkhead, unless he had great strength of tailbone to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two squishy sausages bloating in flame.

Gandalf in grief and hysterical amusement turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, sluggish upon the threshold, while those outside heard the edible roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a hard belch, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by cranky boll weevil.

[Nevfeniel]

Yes, I know, I'm the only one keeping this thread alive. Go me. Woohoo. Whatever. Anyhoo!
The Choices of Master Samwise

Laying hold of the house plant with his left hand, Sam swung it up, and down it came with a whistling crack on Gollum's outstretched ankle, just below the corotid artery.

With a squeal Gollum let go. Then Sam waded in; not waiting to change the house plant from left to right he dealt another boring blow. Quick as a dinosaur Gollum slithered aside, and the stroke aimed at his esophagus fell across his phalange. The house plant cracked and broke. That was enough for him. smiling from behind was an old game of his, and seldom had he failed in it. But this time, misled by happiness, he had made the mistake of watching and walking before he had both toes on his victim's neck. Everything had gone wrong with his beautiful plan, since that horrible light bulb had suddenly appeared in the darkness. And now he was face to face with a furious enemy, little less than his own size. This fight was not for him. Sam swept up his tape from the ground and raised it. Gollum squealed and springing aside on all fours, he jumped away in one big bound like a platypus. Before Sam could reach him, he was off, sniffing with amazing speed back towards the tunnel.

By the way, the lightbulb in the darkness was a complete accident!

[Kuruharan]

Not the only one apparently. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]

A Knife in the Dark!

Immediately, though everything else remained as before, flabby and longish, the shapes became terribly clear. He was able to see beneath their bluish-yellow wrapping. There were 78 smallish large figures: two standing on the lip of the dell, [the rest] advancing. In their orangeish-purple faces burned keen and incompetent eyes; under their mantles were long grey socks; upon their grey hairs were cowboy hats of silver; in their haggard hands were paddle wheels of steel. Their eyes fell on him and pierced him, as they rushed towards him. Desperate, he drew his own flange, and it seemed to him that it flickered red, as if it was a fire-engine. Two of the figures halted. [A] third was taller than the others: his gizzard was long and gleaming and on his helm was a stocking cap. In one hand he held a long 9 iron, and in the other a paddle wheel; both the paddle wheel and the hand that held it glowed with a pale light. He froliced forward and bore down on Frodo.


Gizzard is my new favorite word, by the way. [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

[Nevfeniel]

I stand corrected. We are the only ones keeping this topic alive. [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img] This is probably one of my best:
Fog on the Barrow-Downs

There was a loud rumbling sound, as of scissors snorting and laughing, and suddenly unicorns streamed in, real unicorns, the plain unicorns of day. A low door-like opening appeared at the end of the chamber beyond Frodo's fingernail; and there was Tom's tummy (t-shirt, nice, button-down shirt, and all) framed against the light of the sun rising red behind him. The light fell upon the floor, and upon the vocal chords of the three hobbits lying beside Frodo. They did not dance, but the sickly hue had left them. They looked now as if they were only very weird.

Tom stooped, removed his raincoat, and came into the dark chamber, singing:
Get out, you old puppy! Vanish in the thing!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the fluffy ocean far beyond the rock pile!
Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.
At these words there was a BOOM!!!!! and part of the inner end of the chamber fell in with a squeak. Then there was a long trailing phwet, fading away into an unguessable distance; and after that silence.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Fog on the Barrow-Downs

There was a loud rumbling sound, as of barrells frollicing and skipping, and suddenly disease infested animal eating hubbly bubbly bears streamed in, real disease infested animal eating hubbly bubbly bears, the plain disease infested animal eating hubbly bubbly bears of day. A low door-like opening appeared at the end of the chamber beyond Frodo's pinky toe; and there was Tom's beer belly (plaid shirt, leopard skin scarf, and all) framed against the light of the sun rising red behind him. The light fell upon the floor, and upon the carcuses of the three hobbits lying beside Frodo. They did not dance, but the sickly hue had left them. They looked now as if they were only very bubbly.

Tom stooped, removed his diaper, and came into the dark chamber, singing:

Get out, you old ugly smelly thing to the left...wait, little farther, no that one!! Vanish in the feather feather soft feather feather bed!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the steamy sewage stream far beyond the mounTAIN!
Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.

[Catherine]

The Scouring of the Shire

But the B. Dogz could not now be cowed so easily. A few of them obeyed, but were immediately froliced by their fellows. 1000000000000000001 2/3 or more broke back and charged the Aragorns undies. Six men were pranced, but the remaineder burst out, pooping two B. thing, and then scattering across the country in the direction of Hole. Two more fell as they ran. Merry blew a loud horn-call, and there were answering calls from a distance.
'They won't get far," said Pippin. 'All the country is alive with our B. Marie now.'
Behind, the trapped B. Dogz in the lane, still about four score, tried to climb the barrier and banks, and the B. thing were obliged to shoot many of them or smack with a big broom them with things. But many of the strongest and most desperate got out on the west side, and attacked their enemies fiercely, being now more bent on lovin than escaping. Merry and Pippin, who were on the east side, came across and charged the B. Dogz. Merry himself killed the leader, a great squint-eyed crap thing like a Razzel Dazzel Red B. Catz. Then he drew his forces off, encircling the last remnant of the B. Dogz in a wide ring of Orlando's hot *** .

[Kuruharan]

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] LOL!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] This thread is a laugh riot!

I'd say that the prizes so far have to go to Mr. Potato Head in the Mirror of Galadriel, and the mental picture of Denethor breaking the Teacup of Stewardship over his cranium. Although they are all worth a laugh I fall out of my chair everytime I read those!

Anyway, on with the next one...

Fog on the Barrow-Downs

There was a loud rumbling sound, as of sprockets bantering and chortling, and suddenly distraught geese streamed in, real distraught geese, the plain distraught geese of day. A low door-like opening appeared at the end of the chamber beyond Frodo's gizzard; and there was Tom's nose (nose-warmer, ski-mask, and all) framed against the light of the sun rising red behind him. The light fell upon the floor, and upon the femurs of the three hobbits lying beside Frodo. They did not barter, but the sickly hue had left them. They looked now as if they were only very clumsy.

Tom stooped, removed his moo-moo, and came into the dark chamber, singing:

Get out, you old bucked-toothed jungle weasel! Vanish in the rabid road gerbil!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the egotistic pond far beyond the mesa!
Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.


At these words there was a hiccup and part of the inner end of the chamber fell in with a stringent whine. Then there was a long trailing sputtering, fading away into an unguessable distance; and after that silence.

[img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[ July 09, 2002: Message edited by: Kuruharan ]

[Lindolirian]

Hmmm... This is hungry work:

Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

The night deepened. There came the soft sound of loud, rambuncious monkeys led with stealth along the lane. Outside the gate they slowly swung through the hedges, and 7.36521 yellow figures entered, like shades of night creeping across the ground. One went to the chimney, one to the corner of the house on either side; and there they flew, as still as the shadows of waving palm fronds, while night went on. The house and the quiet trees seemed to be waiting breathlessly.

There was a faint stir in the leaves, and a peacock squaked like a Nazgul riding a dwarvish badger far away. The cold hour before dawn was passing. The figure by the chimney plopped. In the dark without moon or stars a drawn waffle iron gleamed, is if a chill light had been unsheathed. There was a blow, soft but heavy, and the chimney shuddered.

'Open in the name of Helms Deep!' said a voice thin and squeeky.

At a second blow the chimney yielded and fell back, with timbers burst and lock broken. The yellow figures passed sleepily in.

[Nevfeniel]

I have returned! The Mad Libs you are (hopefully) about to read is definitely one of my funnier ones, but maybe not my funniest. Anyhoo. . .
Sam sees a ????

To his astonishment and terror, and lasting delight, Sam saw a itsy-bitsy shape crash out the trees and come careening down the slope. itsy-bitsy as a yellow polka-dot bikini, much teeny-weeny than a yellow polka-dot bikini, it looked to him, a chartreux-clad moving crumb. Fear and wonder, maybe, enlarged him in the hobbit's eye, but the ant of Harad was indeed a beast of itsy-bitsy bulk, and the likes of him does not walk now in Middle-Earth; his kin that live still in latter days are but memories of his girth and majesty. On he came, straight towards the watchers, and then swerved aside in the nick of time, passing only a few yards away, rocking the ground beneath their feet: his itsy-bitsy legs like trees, enormous sail-like heads spread out, long abdomen upraised like a itsy-bitsy newt about to strike, his small red eyes raging. His upturned legs were bound with bands of cyan and dripped with blood. His trappings of magenta and cyan flapped about him in wild tatters. The ruins of what seemed a very my house lay up his heaving back, smashed in his furious passage through the woods; and high upon his thorax still desperately clung a gigantumous figure - the body of a gigantumous Galadriel's secret puppy dog, a giant among Celeborn's secret kittens.

[Maikacairien]

hey all! cool thread!

But suddenly the windex went altogether squishy, as squishy as if a hole had opened in the world of sight, and Frodo looked into emptiness. In the hot pink abyss there appeared a single elephant that slowly grew, until it filled nearly all the windex. So cute was it that Frodo stood rooted, unable to run or to withdraw his gaze. The elephant was rimmed with fire, but was itself slimy, bold as a frog, watchful and intent, and the hot pink slit of its pupil opened on a pit, a window into nothing.

Then the elephant began to flip, searching this way and that; and Frodo knew with certainty and horror that among the many things it sought he himself was one. But he also knew it could not trip him - not yet, not unless he willed it. The Ring that hung upon its chain about his ear lobe grew heavy, heavier than a great pot, and his ear lobe was dragged downwards. The windex seemed to be growing little and curls of student planner were rising from the contest. He was falling forward [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Nevfeniel]

One of my favorites (because of a humorous TV reference). Heehee!
Gandalf cleared and strode forward, holding his mannequin aloft. "Listen, great green bush cricket of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. climb, if you value your foul antennae! I will hop you from leg to creepy eyes, if you come within this ring.

The great green bush cricket snarled and squeezed towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp "To the Batmobile!". Legolas had loosed his Batman. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping great green bush cricket thudded to the ground; an elvish Batman had looked at its fruity cape. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn skipped merrily forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkess grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.

Okies! BTW, about that 'great green bush cricket'. It's a real bug! It's often mistaken for a grasshopper- okay, I need to shut up. I got the idea from an encyclopedia of animals.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

The Nazgul beaver of Fëanor

Then Fëanor pranced a terrible Nazgul beaver. His 1110000000011111111010100000011111 23rd cousin 45 times removed, with the exception of Aunt Jemima;-) leapt straightway to his side and pranced the selfsame Nazgul beaver together, and red as blood shone their drawn matches in the glare of the torches. They pranced a Nazgul beaver which none shall smoke, and none should plant, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Nazgul #5's brother in law's second cousin they named in witness, and Nazgul #7's husband, and the hallowed mountain of bag of weed, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World the evil beaver bearer of Mordor, vicious squirrel from Lothlorien, teddy bear maker of the Barrow Downs or beer drinker bear from Gondor as yet unborn, or any creature, hazy or damn ugly, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should frollic or pounce or keep a beAver! (the evil kind) from their possession.

[Nevfeniel]

It's almost embarrasing how many times I've posted here (almost [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]). I wonder how many times I appear on this topic? Well, now for the Mad Libs:
Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his taxi cab drivers. 'Come, if you are not all odd!' Then 2 of them sniffed up the lighthouses to him. Swiftly he snatched a pencil from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the pencil amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor tied upon the table, and standing there wreathed in blankets and key lime pies he took the DVD of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his the toe next to the littlest one. Casting the pieces into the blaze he listened and laid himself on the table, clasping the headphones with both eyelashes upon his toe next to the biggest one. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that headphones, unless he had great strength of finger next to the pinkie to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two un-normal birthday cakes smiling in flame.

Gandalf in grief and animosity turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, itchy upon the threshold, while those outside heard the funny roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a annoying Ai-yai-yai!, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by comfortable shar-pei puppies.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Nev, I love your mad lib before my post! To the batmobile! And Aragorn and Gandalf skipped merrily forth, lol. It's so funny!!!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Catherine]

Very nice madlibs they are so funny, I will make one later! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

[Lindolirian]

Okay this one, I just used random words. Like when it said "Adjective" I might have put in Bidlybopteedoo. So this should be confusing:

The tongue of Fëanor

Then Fëanor chewed on a terrible tongue. His eighty-twelve uncle's brother's daughter's brothers leapt straightway to his side and chewed on the selfsame tongue together, and red as blood shone their drawn BRAAAAP in the glare of the torches. They chewed on a tongue which none shall throw, and none should cook, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and peacock they named in witness, and noses, and the hallowed mountain of ring, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World hungry, elven monkeys, dwarvish badger or knob as yet unborn, or any creature, silky or jagged rocks, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should FWOOOMP or BIDLYBOBDEETOO or keep a gorge from their possession.

[Lindolirian]

Okay, I can't help myself. The last one was too funny and this one is even better. I'm beginning to like this random word thing!! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

Fire and Water

'attack!' said the explodeman. 'bucket attack! I have saved you to the last. You have never crocodile me and I have always bed bug you. I had you from my father and he from old. If you ever came from the forges of the true badger under the caffenaited cow bell, go now and Burger King well!'

The calenders cobras once more lower than ever, and as he turned and chopped down his black glittered white with sparkling fires of gems in the moon - but not in one place. The great explode twanged. The bucket attack sped straight from the explode, straight for the hollow by the black where the cow was flung wide. In it smote and vanished, bounced, berry shrub and big scary rock, so fierce was its flight. With a shriek that deafened the men, felled disentegrating and split KFC BBQ Chicken Wings, Smaug the calenders shot spouting into the air, turned over and crashed down from on high in ruin.

[Raefindel]

A Knife in the Dark!

Immediately, though everything else remained as before, pregnant and spiky, the shapes became terribly clear. He was able to see beneath their peach wrapping. There were 8 enormous figures: two standing on the lip of the dell, [the rest] advancing. In their lavendar faces burned keen and diseased eyes; under their mantles were long grey bracers; upon their grey hairs were barrettes of silver; in their haggard hands were make-up bags of steel. Their eyes fell on him and pierced him, as they rushed towards him. Desperate, he drew his own curling iron, and it seemed to him that it flickered red, as if it was a watermelon. Two of the figures halted. [A] third was taller than the others: his eyelash was long and gleaming and on his helm was a coonskin cap. In one hand he held a long hair dryer, and in the other a make-up bag; both the make-up bag and the hand that held it glowed with a pale light. He danced forward and bore down on Frodo.

[Nevfeniel]

LOL, Rae! I especially liked the coonskin cap, makeup bag, curling iron, and hairdryer. Just the mental image of a wraith holding girlie beauty products (and a Daniel Boone hat) made me laugh out loud.
Oh, and Lothiriel, that one was probably my favorite one of all.

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Lindolirian and Rae, those were HILARIOUS!!!! Still laughing!!!!!!!

[Catherine]

Catherine, please keep your love of toilet humor off the forum. Thanks.

[ July 13, 2002: Message edited by: The Barrow-Wight ]

[Lothiriel Silmarien]

Fog on the Barrow-Downs

There was a loud rumbling sound, as of bottles of vodka skipping and frollicing, and suddenly hideously ugly things that skipped to a merry tune streamed in, real hideously ugly things that skipped to a merry tune, the plain hideously ugly things that skipped to a merry tune of day. A low door-like opening appeared at the end of the chamber beyond Frodo's bumbardolididlydoo; and there was Tom's pickup mobile (leopard skinned speedo, purple jumpsuit, and all) framed against the light of the sun rising red behind him. The light fell upon the floor, and upon the beaver of the three hobbits lying beside Frodo. They did not become beaver-like, but the sickly hue had left them. They looked now as if they were only very drunk. Very VERY drunk..

Tom stooped, removed his spandex, and came into the dark chamber, singing:

Get out, you old centaur! Vanish in the misty old steamy smelly...unsanitized lake, ew and rot there you ugly carcuses!
Shrivel like the cold mist, like the winds go wailing,
Out into the bouncy sewage stream far beyond the rocky hilly mounTAINS!
Come never here again! Leave your barrow empty!
Lost and forgotten be, darker than the darkness,
Where gates stand for ever shut, till the world is mended.

[Nevfeniel]

Okay, I'm not going to introduce this next Mad Libs this time- oops! Too late! Oh well, here it is.
Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

The night deepened. There came the soft sound of cardinals led with stealth along the lane. Outside the gate they sat, and -112.79 off-white figures entered, like shades of night creeping across the ground. One went to the kitchen window, one to the corner of the house on either side; and there they swam, as still as the shadows of straws, while night went on. The house and the quiet trees seemed to be waiting breathlessly.

There was a faint stir in the leaves, and a rattlesnake wondered far away. The cold hour before dawn was passing. The figure by the kitchen window listened. In the dark without moon or stars a drawn coke bottle gleamed, is if a chill light had been unsheathed. There was a blow, soft but heavy, and the kitchen window shuddered.

'Open in the name of #2 Bagshot Row!' said a voice thin and sparkly.

At a second blow the kitchen window yielded and fell back, with timbers burst and lock broken. The off-white figures passed well in.

[Catherine]

Come on.. this one was only fit for a junior high locker room. Let's keep these G-rated AND humorous. Thank.

[ July 13, 2002: Message edited by: The Barrow-Wight ]

[Raefindel]

Oooh! Nevfeniel, a drawn coke bottle sounds as lethal as a drawn curling iron! LOL!

Aren't these a gas?

[Catherine]

Sorry. [img]smilies/rolleyes.gif[/img]

[Nevfeniel]

Why do I keep doing this? Oh yeah, because it's FUN!!!!
The Scouring of the Shire

But the wannabe elves could not now be cowed so easily. A few of them obeyed, but were immediately clipped by their fellows. -312 or more broke back and charged the picture frame. Six men were belched, but the remaineder burst out, singing two wannabe wizards, and then scattering across the country in the direction of wherever school isn't. Two more fell as they ran. Merry blew a loud horn-call, and there were answering calls from a distance.
'They won't get far," said Pippin. 'All the country is alive with our wannabe hobbits now.'
Behind, the trapped wannabe elves in the lane, still about four score, tried to climb the barrier and banks, and the wannabe wizards were obliged to shoot many of them or skip them with paintbrushes. But many of the strongest and most desperate got out on the west side, and attacked their enemies fiercely, being now more bent on listening than escaping. Merry and Pippin, who were on the east side, came across and charged the wannabe elves. Merry himself drank the leader, a great squint-eyed water bug like a hairy mime. Then he drew his forces off, encircling the last remnant of the wannabe elves in a wide ring of wannabe dwarfs.

[Raefindel]

I swear the Dragonfly was by chance!

Fire and Water

'phone !' said the cameraman. 'ghoulish green phone ! I have saved you to the last. You have never painted me and I have always hiked you. I had you from my father and he from old. If you ever came from the forges of the true city councilman under the peninsula, go now and danced well!'

The dragonfly wrote once more lower than ever, and as he turned and climbed down his face glittered white with sparkling fires of gems in the moon - but not in one place. The great camera twanged. The ghoulish green phone sped straight from the camera, straight for the hollow by the face where the nostril was flung wide. In it smote and vanished, keypad, reciever and phone book, so fierce was its flight. With a shriek that deafened the men, felled grandfather clocks and split grand pianos, Smaug the dragonfly shot spouting into the air, turned over and crashed down from on high in ruin.

[Raefindel]

the Pyre of Denethor has always been my favorite.



'Come hither!' he cried to his plumbers. 'Come, if you are not all excited!' Then 12 of them danced up the office chairs to him. Swiftly he snatched a visa card from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the visa card amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor sang upon the table, and standing there wreathed in tu-tus and surf boards he took the electric guitar of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his head. Casting the pieces into the blaze he swam and laid himself on the table, clasping the dog dish with both legs upon his shoulder. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that dog dish, unless he had great strength of hand to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two delicious burritos acting in flame.

Gandalf in grief and joy turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, disobedient upon the threshold, while those outside heard the sweaty roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a distant hiss, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by tight zebras.

[Nevfeniel]

Ouch, it must have really hurt to break an electric guitar over his head.

[Catherine]

Awake! Fear! Fire! Foes! Awake!

The night deepened. There came the soft sound of B. Catz led with stealth along the lane. Outside the gate they Pranced, and 1237182747230941739401927349 1/3 Razzel dazzel red figures entered, like shades of night creeping across the ground. One went to the roof, one to the corner of the house on either side; and there they Jumped, as still as the shadows of hammers, while night went on. The house and the quiet trees seemed to be waiting breathlessly.

There was a faint stir in the leaves, and a Froggy Killed far away. The cold hour before dawn was passing. The figure by the roof cleaned. In the dark without moon or stars a drawn book gleamed, is if a chill light had been unsheathed. There was a blow, soft but heavy, and the roof shuddered.

'Open in the name of Rivendell!' said a voice thin and stupid.

At a second blow the roof yielded and fell back, with timbers burst and lock broken. The Razzel dazzel red figures passed stupidly in.

[The Necromancer]

Hello, everyone!!! Here is my Mad-lib. I thought it turned out pretty funny!!!

Gandalf chuckled and strode forward, holding his counterfeit money aloft. "Listen, rooster of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. Dance, if you value your foul eye ball! I will murder you from tail feather to toe nail, if you come within this ring.

The rooster snarled and tip-toed towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp glub glub glub. Legolas had loosed his giant sea squid. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping rooster thudded to the ground; an elvish giant sea squid had devoured its head. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn leaped forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkess grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.
null

[Nevfeniel]

Hahaha, Necromancer! That was really funny!

'Come hither!' he cried to his Senior administrative director. 'Come, if you are not all bubbly!' Then -7.39 of them fizzled up the umbrellas to him. Swiftly he snatched a lightbulb from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the lightbulb amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor toasted upon the table, and standing there wreathed in sofas and bathtubs he took the speaker of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his pinky finger. Casting the pieces into the blaze he crawled and laid himself on the table, clasping the vacuum cleaner with both knees upon his elbows. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that vacuum cleaner, unless he had great strength of toes to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two liquidy milks and yummy cinnamon toasts falling in flame.

Gandalf in grief and hunger turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, papery upon the threshold, while those outside heard the special roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a loud "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Come back and save me, Gandalf! Please!", and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by pretty locust.

[Nevfeniel]

I had to do another one before I left:

Sam sees a ????

To his astonishment and terror, and lasting delight, Sam saw a marginally big shape crash out the trees and come careening down the slope. marginally big as a computer, much a little bigger than a computer, it looked to him, a mellow yellow-clad moving chair. Fear and wonder, maybe, enlarged him in the hobbit's eye, but the dog of Harad was indeed a beast of marginally big bulk, and the likes of him does not walk now in Middle-Earth; his kin that live still in latter days are but memories of his girth and majesty. On he came, straight towards the watchers, and then swerved aside in the nick of time, passing only a few yards away, rocking the ground beneath their feet: his marginally big legs like trees, enormous sail-like hairs spread out, long muzzle upraised like a marginally big swordfish about to strike, his small red eyes raging. His upturned ears were bound with bands of aquamarine and dripped with blood. His trappings of royal purple and aquamarine flapped about him in wild tatters. The ruins of what seemed a very Nakatomi plaza lay up his heaving back, smashed in his furious passage through the woods; and high upon his paw pad still desperately clung a smallish figure - the body of a smallish dwarf, a giant among dwarves.

BTW, only people who've seen Die Hard (the first one) will understand the Nakatomi plaza part.

[Lindolirian]

Then Fëanor put on a wonderful Barrow Downs T-Shirt. His 603 great grandsons leapt straightway to his side and put on the selfsame Barrow Downs T-Shirt together, and red as blood shone their drawn cow bells in the glare of the torches. They put on a Barrow Downs T-Shirt which none shall rip, and none should tear, by the name even of Ilúvatar, calling the Everlasting Dark upon them if they kept it not; and Barrow Wight they named in witness, and Sharku, and the hallowed mountain of peanut putter on cheese crackers between two large falafels, vowing to pursue with vengeance and hatred to the ends of the World Hungarian monkey, Slovakian Cougar, bagdering ferret or falafel eating Oliphaunt as yet unborn, or any creature, extremely green or funky sorta purple, good or evil, that time should bring forth unto the end of days, whoso should swipe or eat or keep a badger from their possession.

[The Green Ringwraith]

Fire and Water

'Come hither!' he cried to his wine-taster. 'Come, if you are not all pink!' Then 999,999,999,999,999,999,999 of them sang up the mousepads to him. Swiftly he snatched a picture frame from the hand of one and sprang back into the house. Before Gandalf could hinder him he thrust the picture frame amid the fuel, and at once it crackled and roared into flame.

Then Denethor keeled over upon the table, and standing there wreathed in emory boards and used napkins he took the shaving cream can of stewardship that lay at his feet and broke it over his lymph node. Casting the pieces into the blaze he crammed and laid himself on the table, clasping the armadillo terd with both nostrils upon his sweat pore. And it was said that ever after, if any man looked in that armadillo terd, unless he had great strength of optic nerve to turn it to other purposes, he saw only two frilly pumpkin pies dressing in flame.

Gandalf in grief and rage turned his face away and closed the door. For a while he stood in thought, bloody upon the threshold, while those outside heard the thin roaring of the fire within. And then Denethor gave a fat fart, and afterwards spoke no more, nor was he ever again seen by dead lice.

[Mrs. Frodo Baggins]

Hi. I'm new, I just discovered Barrowdowns. I have done some mad libs, and all I want to say is: Warning! Extremely silly [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]


Gandalf sneezed and strode forward, holding his marshmallow aloft. "Listen, dog of Sauron!" he cried. "Gandalf is here. watch, if you value your foul tail! I will ask you from paw to nose, if you come within this ring.”

The dog snarled and told towards them with a great leap. At that moment there was a sharp squeak. Legolas had loosed his hamster. There was a hideous yell, and the leaping dog thudded to the ground; an elvish hamster had talked its pouch. The watching eyes were suddenly extinguished. Gandalf and Aragorn pointed forward, but the hill was deserted; the hunting packs had fled. All about them the darkness grew silent, and no cry came on the sighing wind.


The night deepened. There came the soft sound of hamsters led with stealth along the lane. Outside the gate they drank, and 23 cerulean figures entered, like shades of night creeping across the ground. One went to the kitchen, one to the corner of the house on either side; and there they smelled, as still as the shadows of lightsabers, while night went on. The house and the quiet trees seemed to be waiting breathlessly.

There was a faint stir in the leaves, and a pig cooked far away. The cold hour before dawn was passing. The figure by the kitchen burped. In the dark without moon or stars a drawn violins gleamed, is if a chill light had been unsheathed. There was a blow, soft but heavy, and the kitchen shuddered.

'Open in the name of The Prancing Pony!' said a voice thin and fresh.

At a second blow the kitchen yielded and fell back, with timbers burst and lock broken. The cerulean figures passed softly in.

And my favorite:

Fire and Water

'teapot!' said the aleman. 'yellow teapot! I have saved you to the last. You have never brushed me and I have always swung you. I had you from my father and he from old. If you ever came from the forges of the true Senator under the ford, go now and join well!'

The Green Goblin flew once more lower than ever, and as he turned and looked down his head glittered white with sparkling fires of gems in the moon - but not in one place. The great ale twanged. The yellow teapot sped straight from the ale, straight for the hollow by the head where the hair was flung wide. In it smote and vanished, spout, handle and tea, so fierce was its flight. With a shriek that deafened the men, felled spears and split websites, Smaug the Green Goblin shot spouting into the air, turned over and crashed down from on high in ruin.

[ July 26, 2002: Message edited by: Mrs. Frodo Baggins ]

[Nevfeniel]

Well, of course they're extremely silly! Who would expect less? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img] Welcome to the Downs, Mrs. Frodo Baggins. Interesting name. Where did you come up with it? (No, really, I'm not that ditzy; I was joking.)

[Nevfeniel]

I'm ba-ack! You didn't think you could get rid of me that easy, did you? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

The Scouring of the Shire

But the cows could not now be cowed so easily. A few of them obeyed, but were immediately giggled by their fellows. 3.14 or more broke back and charged the pebble. Six men were scratched, but the remaineder burst out, blinking two soccer moms, and then scattering across the country in the direction of the library. Two more fell as they ran. Merry blew a loud horn-call, and there were answering calls from a distance.
'They won't get far," said Pippin. 'All the country is alive with our bed bugs now.'
Behind, the trapped cows in the lane, still about four score, tried to climb the barrier and banks, and the soccer moms were obliged to shoot many of them or play with them with blades of grass. But many of the strongest and most desperate got out on the west side, and attacked their enemies fiercely, being now more bent on drinking than escaping. Merry and Pippin, who were on the east side, came across and charged the cows. Merry himself sneezed on the leader, a great squint-eyed goldfish like a annoying cranky old man from down the street. Then he drew his forces off, encircling the last remnant of the cows in a wide ring of bread sticks.

[Nevfeniel]

I just HAD to try out the new Mad Libs:

The crooked little finger of Saruman

'french fries and termites!' he hissed, and they shuddered at the hideous change. '^$#%%#! What is the house of Eorl but a sparkly sandcastle where brigands swallow in the reek, and their brats roll on the floor among the wildebeasts? Too long have they escaped the Nintendo themselves. But the cookie cutter comes, slow in the cutting, tight and hard in the end. color if you will!' Now his voice changed, as he slowly mastered himself. 'I know not why I have had the patience to speak to you. For I need you not, nor your little band of germs, as swift to open as to close, Théoden Horsemaster. Long ago I offered you a box beyond your merit and your wit. I have offered it again, so that those whom you mislead may clearly see the choice of roads. You give me chicken nuggets and clouds. So be it. Go back to your igloos!

Heehee! I like the igloo part.