The Future of the Downs

[Hookbill the Goomba]

In the year 2130, I will change my Avatar back to the unanimated one!

PLUS

The Reputation titles will soon descend into the obscure. Soon people will have titles like “steals taters from confused gaffers” *shock horror*

[Gil-Galad]

A mischevious Gremlin will emerge on the Downs, and give everyone bad reps, mostly the downers with 6 or more boxes, and everyone will blame Gil-Galad for this, and give him bad reps, thus ruining his reputation in the downs

[The Only Real Estel]

Encaitare will eventually step forward and proclaim that all this time she has, in fact, been Brad Dourif. How else do you explain 'her' unwavering support of Grima?

Eventually someone will have a rep box hovering title that reads "_____ has more rep points than Lalwende". But I wouldn't count on that one.

[The Saucepan Man]

Perhaps one day the "Who has the best ..." threads will cease functioning as ad hoc chat-rooms ...

... nah, pure fantasy!

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Never have I heard such a far-fetched suggestion Sauce.

[the guy who be short]

A link to the FAQ will be put up, in huge characters and bright colours, reading "READ THIS FIRST!!" at the top of the forum page.

An alliance of Farming Folk will exact vengeance upon poor Lalwende.

TGWBS will translate everybody's Quenya usernames into English for fun, and proceed to call people by them.

[Boromir88]

I'll come back to CbC and make good posts.~Nilpaurion

Umm...ya, same for me...

On some others, Mithalwen will some day learn how to manage the avatar feature.

Peter Jackson will join this forum the day Rodney Dangerfield gets some darn respect.

Umm...some more later.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

One day a real warg will appear and have his say on the "Warg and Warg rider appreciation thread" then all will be laid to rest.
Likewise, a real Balrog will make a deal with the Barrow Wighty to hold a press conference on the downs to tell everyone about his bad experience of small people chasing him and trying to see if he had wings. He will, of course, break down into tears as he tells this story. I think it will go something like this;

Balrog: They chased me down the street, and then, they beat me up. *sobs*

B-W: Who beat you up?

Balrog: All those little people from your web site. They came and grabbed my face. One of them screamed in my ear! *weeps*

Also, one day Gil-gallads ego will grow and become one of the few man made objects viewable from space.

One day, Crazy captions will explode, killing me *and there was much rejoicing*.

[The Only Real Estel]

Also, one day Gil-gallads ego will grow and become one of the few man made objects viewable from space.

Only even in that moment of glory he will be overshadowed by the phantom's ego, which will look nearly the size of a new planet from space.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

davem will join a Werewolves game.

Due to his remarkable powers of insight, despite being an ordinary villager, he will predict the roles of all the players after seeing just one post from each.

Unfortunately, nobody will believe him, and davem will be lynched. Quite horribly.

Meanwhile, Lalwendë will think of joining the next game.

You will go to sleep.

[Encaitare]

The guy who be short will moderate a game of Werewolf conducted entirely in his dreams.

[Gil-Galad]

My ego and TP's Arrogance can become mighty allies...

[Lhunardawen]

There would be so much Werewolf games that a BDer unfortunate enough to be a Seer so many times will eventually have real life dreams regarding the players' roles.

Nilp shall have an actual role.

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

the phantom will realise that this:

You will curse the day you did not do
All that the phantom asked of you.

fits him well, and will turn it into his sig.

He will thank me, and I will become an special member of The Phantom Fan Club International.

Or is it The Phantom Sidekick Club International?

[Oddwen]

...Oddwen will write, record, and somehow upload a song extolling the virtues of the Barrowdowns. She will be offered a contract, and go on tour opening for the likes of Howard Shore's symphony and oddly, KISS.
She will recruit Nilp as a backup choir, TorEstel on accordion, The Barrow Wight and Saucepan Man as dancers, and The Phantom as the face of the band.
It will flop. Miserably.

[the phantom]

Good prediction on my siggy, Nilp.

I actually spent part of my vacation looking for new sigs, and that one was near the top of my list- though I have actually had it before (maybe a year ago or so).

And since I'm here I'll make a prediction.

Not in the next game, but the one after that- the phantom will return to the world of werewolves.

*TORE, Fea, Spawn, Eomer, and many other WW players cheer*

*SPM, Fordim, and BW groan*

[the guy who be short]

Somebody will produce "Is this the way to Alcarillo?" to raise money for the Downs. It will be a relative success.

The Barrow Wight will start posting again, other than to close threads.

Once we reach 3000 members, I believe B-W will go on a deleting spree and cut us down to perhaps 500 (possibly closer to 1000).

People will take TGWBS seriously despite his new avatar.

TGWBS will do his utmost to be "stalked by petty dwarves" and will then attempt to maintain his rep.

Fordim Hedgethistle will create more polls. Please? They're ever so good! Perhaps a Balrog Wing thread...

[Encaitare]

Poll: Do Balrogs Have Wings?

[mark12_30]

The canonicity thread will be closed and placed in Haudh-En-Ndengin.

But somebody will resurrect it, according to the directions, and it will go for another very long stretch.

[Eomer of the Rohirrim]

Esty has been mentioned, but I for one am eager to see Lal and davem join a game of Werewolf! As well as Formendacil, Bethberry and HerenIstarion.

Future moderators of Werewolf games include: the phantom (hopefully), SamwiseGamgee (though the game will be deleted due to obscenity) and the combination of my beautiful and wondrous cousins Nilpaurion and Lhuna.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

One day, there will be a Barrow wide Werewolf game, including every single Downer, three of whom will be Wolves. The game will last three days. Nilp will be a wolf and will be lynched in the first day.

Also, the Barrow Wight will ban all people from the Books Forum unless they have a high-ranking degree in Tolkienology.

[Durelin]

The collective ego of male Downers will exceed the legal limit.

[Alcarillo]

Originally Posted by the guy who be short

Somebody will produce "Is this the way to Alcarillo?" to raise money for the Downs. It will be a relative success.

That gives me some ideas for a personal title for myself: Fervent Fundraiser, Desperate House-Wight, Shameless Scourge . . .

[Lhunardawen]

Originally Posted by Eomer

Future moderators of Werewolf games include: the phantom (hopefully), SamwiseGamgee (though the game will be deleted due to obscenity) and the combination of my beautiful and wondrous cousins Nilpaurion and Lhuna.

Nilp is indeed considering modding a game, but count me out. I'd much rather play and go after specific people to get them lynched.

Or maybe not. What say you, Nilp?

Wait...cousin??? *narrows eyes contemptuously*

[The Elf-warrior]

Someday soon The Barrow-Wight will be a wolf. The Fortunately/Unfortunately thread will fall into a plot hole while Kath and yours truly fight over it. This plot hole will also mysteriously erase my reputation points and take a few non-posting members with it. The Balrog wings question will be resolved as much as humanly possible here first when one of our members discovers a letter from J. R. R. Tolkien himself resolving the question once and for all, except for canonicity issues. Someday The Barrow-Wight (May his arm always stay green.) will close the Crazy Captions thread and eventually the Canonicity and the Reader thread will be larger than the Crazy Captions thread.

[Gurthang]

Someday...

...Crazy Captions will have to be closed, deleted, but then replaced because it was so huge it couldn't be kept up anymore.

...no one will remeber or understand why everyone has eleven green boxes placed underneath their names.

...smilies will include complex motion and even sound.

...the Balrog Wings debate will become its own sub-forum.

...the phantom's fanclub will have more than 2,000,000 official members.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

...the phantom's fanclub will have more than 2,000,000 official members

All of who will be the Phantom with different moustaches and beards as disguises.

When the Balrogian theory is finally solved to the Winged or none winged camp, the whole Forum (and indeed, the world) will collapse in on itself, for no universe can exist where Balrog defiantly do or do not have wings.

[Lhunardawen]

The Create Poll function will be revealed to have been deviously concocted and added to the forum by Fordim Hedgethistle, and its nature only he himself knows.

Except for the Wise...like the phantom, I would suppose.

[The Only Real Estel]

The 'Downs will have its place in history for creating widespread playing of "The Werewolf Game" (no more Mafia ).

One day very far into the future a conversation between a schoolteacher & a young student will probably go something like this:

Teacher: "Now, who can tell me who the most infamous traitor of all time is? Yes, Johnny?"

Johnny: "Benedict Arnold, for switching sides during the Revolutionary War?"

Teacher: "No I'm sorry, that's a good answer but he wasn't nearly the most infamous. Anyone else? All right. A long time ago, during Tol-In-Gaurhoth (Isle of Werewolves) Seven--"

Class: "Seven!? That was a long time ago!!"

Teacher: "--yes, it was. Now in Tol-In-Gaurhoth Seven the village was betrayed by a villager named 'The Only Real Estel,' who pretended to be innocent & helpful until the last - when he revealed that he was the Cobbler & handed victory to the wolves."

Class: "BOOO!!!"

Serves me right, I suppose.

[Gurthang]

In the future of the Downs, posts will no longer be typed/printed. They will be recorded voice messages left by each individual and then listened to by the others when they have time.

Ironic note: Using voice messages will make editing very difficult!

[HerenIstarion]

Originally Posted by Gurthang

In the future of the Downs, posts will no longer be typed/printed. They will be recorded voice messages left by each individual and then listened to by the others when they have time

How do you know we foreigners have comprehensible accents? Or, on the other hand, what we poor foreigners should make out of some some native speaker who's wpm (word-per-minute) rate exceeds 300? Unless, of course, there would be video files and subtitles provided...

[Hookbill the Goomba]

One day, The New Silmarillion Forum will publish their work!

There will also be a book realised called "My life as a Dead man" by The Barrow Wight. It will be a best seller for three years until a scandal arises about the Barrow Wight not actually being dead.

[Gurthang]

Originally posted by HerenIstarion
How do you know we foreigners have comprehensible accents? Or, on the other hand, what we poor foreigners should make out of some some native speaker who's wpm (word-per-minute) rate exceeds 300? Unless, of course, there would be video files and subtitles provided...

Hmmm. I hadn't thought of that. It might be rather difficult since this forum has members from around the globe. The video would help a bunch; although the subtitles would somewhat defeat the purpose, since we'd most likely have to type them up ourselves.

[the guy who be short]

Very soon, a new thread will be created in N&N entitled "What do you un-assign to Mordor?" Most replies will centre on Johnny Depp.

The B-W will decide we're all idiots and tell us how he made the new reps!

or

The phantom will take one look at the reps thread and figure it out.

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Make sure you buy Mr Wight's Book!

Buy it from Amaz.co.uk!

Or you shall be cast out of the Downs!

[Child of the 7th Age]

Much to my delight, the copyright covering the Professor's works will finally expire. Those posters composing fanfiction and rpg's will be able to publish their awe-inspiring tales and collect the monetary rewards they so richly deserve.

Piosenniel , in particular, will be fabulously wealthy, having figured out a way to syndicate the Shire's rpg's to a burgeoning number of cable channels. Estelyn Telcontar will follow close on her heels, acclaimed for her ten-volume "History of the Hobbit Folco" and her personal reminiscences "My Life as a Tolkien Fan," which was actually a download of her blog. Mark12_30 will be represented in a number of newspapers with a syndicated comic strip on the continuing adventures of Bolco. B-W will be living in a fortress that resembles Minas Tirith. This is the result of having struck a deal that all literary works with their origins on the Downs must kick back at least 25% of publishing profits if the respective authors wish to maintain their BD accounts.

After much arm twisting, Ms. Bethberry and Master Fordhim will have persuaded Harold Bloom to publish their seminal literary study The Death of the Author When Viewed in Light of Contemporary Tolkien Emulators (a.k.a. "rip-off artists") as part of the Modern Critical Interpretations Series. But even their fame will pale in comparison with that of Mithadan. His Tales from Tol Eressea topped the best seller charts for over seventy weeks with yet no sign of letting up! He has purchased a large sailing ship, renamed it the "Lonely Star II", and retired from the legal profession.

And let us nor forget that Mr. Underhill finally made the long-awaited and fabulously lucrative Hobbit pre-quel--the one that PJ filched on--of which he is the scriptwriter, director, and plays the role of Bilbo as well as filling in occasionally for Smaug.

Alas, others have fared more poorly! Master Davem had a hissy fit when he learned that a flood of Middle-earth 'wanna-bes' would soon hit the market. After a series of spirited and doggedly stubborn appeals in the BD books forum that pointed out the dangers of this heretical approach, he was locked out of his own account (no one is saying by whom) and has taken up life as an itinerant "preacher", accompanied by his spouse. The pair travel the backroads of rural England and warn readers against the danger of adulterating the purity of the author's original text.

P.S. It is sadly acknowledged that Child the Hobbit, who is threating to challenge Bilbo's record for longevity, is being temporarily detained at a holding facility, euphemistically termed a rest and retirement home. This followed closely on the publication of her life's work: It's All True! HoMe as the Real History of Our Planet . Unfortunately, she can not be reached for further comment.....

P.P.S. Only Child would be silly enough to make a post this long in mirth!

[the phantom]

Here's an idea for this thread- how about a few people write their posts like an online article from the future? Something like this-

THE BARROW-DOWNS NEWS
Date: 9/17/07

"This has really gotten out of hand!"

Those were the frustrated words of The Barrow-Wight following today's press conference.

"Those two seem to enjoy putting on this sort of circus act."

"Those two", of course, refers to Feanor of the Peredhil and the phantom, two longtime Barrow-Downs members who have, over the years, been both a blessing and a curse to the famous website.

For those of you that did not keep up with the news over the weekend, it was reported on Saturday that Fea had given birth to a baby boy. One of our photographers managed to get a few shots of the child, and that is when the mayhem began.

Everyone who saw the pictures immediately noticed the child's glowing eyes and preference for black cloaks. Then, our lead reporter on the story did some digging and discovered that Fea and the phantom had secretly met face to face for the first time almost exactly nine months before the birth. Understandably, rumors began to circulate throughout the online community, and in response to the rumors Fea and the phantom announced that they would hold a joint press conference the next day in The Barrow-Downs chat room.

The conference was held at 10:00 AM this morning, but it did nothing to answer the questions surrounding the story.

Fea opened up the conference by saying "My baby does indeed look exactly like the phantom, and yes it is true that phantom has obtained joint custody of the child." Then the phantom added "Everything she has told you is correct, and we have decided to name him either Phantom Junior or The Phantom Who Be Short."

But then, perplexingly, the phantom denied any involvement in the child's birth, and to further complicate things, Fea then announced that she was not the mother of the child, and then they both hastily exited the chat room.

There was an immediate outcry of annoyed confusion amongst other Downers. An outraged Saucepan Man proclaimed "Those two should never be allowed in the same conference ever again!"

Another prominent member, Eomer of the Rohirrim, gave his thoughts on the matter. "I'm not sure what to think. I don't know if they're working together or not. Perhaps this is all a clever bluff?"

But mormegil disagreed, saying he thought it was a double bluff.

"Either way," said Evisse, "This is definitely werewolfish behavior."

Fordim Hedgethistle's only response was "+ + Fea & phantom".

We here at Barrow-Downs News will post further updates as the story develops.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

9/19/07

Rumors abound that the baby belongs to neither famous 'Downer but is actually a hoax. The child, whose eyes shine like fabled crystals, seems to have a purely evil heart, if any of the rumors are actually true. Feanor of the Peredhil was unavailable for comment, but an anonymous 'Downer close to her has given us some new food for thought. "The child could not possibly belong to Fea as she has spent the last 12 months in a Junior Year Abroad program aboard my pirate vessel The Great Warg, conquering the seas and adding benevolance to my dictatorship."

9/20/07

Photos have been deemed to be the work of Adobe Photoshop 9.3. A search has been activated to discover whose sense of humor this could possibly be.

9/21/07

It has been proven by an in depth experiment with the Barrow Downs Name Genercombineator that The Phantom Who Be Short was simply a joke. Conclusive proof can be obtained when one combines the names "the phantom" and "the guy who be short". One hundred rep points are being offered to the first to discover the identity of the joker.

'Downers are outraged that they were taken in and immediately withdraw their blessings and good will. Burrahobbit responds concisely that "this is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen." Fordim creates a poll to find out once and for all whether this joke was tasteless or hilarious. Bethberry and davem respond that it was neither and there should be an option C) for those who were never taken in at all. Esty submits that the child should have been named Falco. Lush's baby names thread is over-run with spoof submissions along the lines of "Wilwaberry" and "Burrobloquy". The Barrow-Wight issues the following statement: "The joke ends now or Inktomi's Phial of Galadriel will be resurrected faster than Gil-Galad (TTM) in Tol-in-Gaurhoth."

[the guy who be short]

Originally Posted by TGWBS

I predict: The phantom edits the above post to stop it looking like a list thread.

Sort of. It half came true, then!

Originally Posted by Lhuna

We'll see page after page of eleven green boxes in the Member List.

We already have one whole page, so half true.

Originally Posted by Lhuna

As for the near future...HI will be back, along with Mrs. Istarion.

One more point for Lhuna.

Originally Posted by TGWBS

I predict people will click the link in my siggy and decide they want to learn Quenya to better understand Tolkien.

And one for me... see a pattern emerging?

Originally Posted by Eomer of the Rohirrim

Over the next four years SamwiseGamgee and myself will slowly drag The Warg and Warg Rider Appreciation Thread onto an 11th page.

New blood.

Originally Posted by TGWBS

Some men will volunteer to learn Quenya.

I'm winning...

Originally Posted by Fea

Eventually, there will come a time that Eomer of the Rohirrim shall live until the end of a game of WW

And he was a wolf... grr...

Originally Posted by Estel

I better add a prediction onto this: Some day I will play in another WW game.

As a cobbler... sigh.

Originally Posted by Lhuna

I predict that in some future Werewolf game, Eomer will no longer be an ordinary villager.

Lhuna catching up!

Originally Posted by TGWBS

Tgwbs's BDer dreams will start coming back...

The werewolf ones are scary...

Originally Posted by spawn

Werewolvers will start using "Werewolf" as a verb.

Strange how most of the predictions that came true are Werewolf-related.

Originally Posted by Lhuna

There would be so much Werewolf games that a BDer unfortunate enough to be a Seer so many times will eventually have real life dreams regarding the players' roles.

You forgot the Mods, though.

Originally Posted by Nilp

the phantom will realise that this:

You will curse the day you did not do
All that the phantom asked of you.

fits him well, and will turn it into his sig.

Perhaps Sight runs in the family?

Originally Posted by TGWBS

Fordim Hedgethistle will create more polls.

Well, alrgiht, that one was obvious. I won't give myself points for that.

Originally Posted by TGWBS

The phantom will take one look at the reps thread and figure it out.

TGWBS - 4.5 predictions.
Lhuna - 3.5 predictions.
Eomer, Fea, Estel, spawn, Nilp - 1 each.

I hereby appoint myself High Seer of the Downs. Lhuna shall be my UnderSeer, the other five shall be our apprentices...

[Nilpaurion Felagund]

mr. short, could I decline the role of apprentice? My "Sight" just came from a really creepy eye technique and its ability to hypnotise.