Confess your crimes here...

[Valesse]

-Heinous, unyeilding parody. Using the entire Ainulindale as my muse.

In my defense it was not originally all of my idea.

There are other things, however.

-An RPG game - just one - (my first) where as an orc was "magically" changed into an elf and then forced to marry Legolas. However fitting it was to Movie-Leggyboppers, it's still cringe worthy.

-My Tolkien-trivia bot has around 300 questions, but somewhere, in that amazing mass, two of them have remained wrong for over a year!

-"Mount Doom, Cafe and Bristo" : I was extremely serious about openning/running one. The napkin rings would have been... well... obviously full of very powersful dark magic

-Gollum + Swedish Chef = "Lets put de moosies in de bo'lerr, bork bork bork" (If I could only get it on audio...)

-I've called Denethor "Spanky", and I am ashamed.

Theres probably more, but goodness!

[Hookbill the Goomba]

Originally Posted by Glirdan

I am actually in more treason for the Middle Earth Idol than all of the contestants: It was me and Sleepy Cowell who came up with this idea.

So, should I be cast to the wolves for the Moving of Mountains?

That really is the big crime that I should probably be banned from the forum for.

My Barrow Downs crimes (apart from MZC)... Hmmm...

Giving away my identity accidentally on my first (and only) werewolf game. Yes, I had received a PM from a normal player who said something like 'can't wait for the start of the WW game'. Later on, I was PMing the other WWs and accidentally included this individual.
Shame on me!

Oh, and the continuation of the Uncloaking gag really has to stop! (I think Nilp should own up to being the first crazy captioner to use it. Although I don’t think I helped by carrying it on most of the time).

[Farael]

I guess I have two big crimes... almost sins against Tolkienity.

First of all, I have to admit that I don't care much for Tolkien's poetry. I find it boring, but then I've never liked poetry.

That's not so bad, you say? well how about this

I've never read either Lord Of The Rings, The Hobbit or The Silmarillion in English entirely. I've read some parts of LoTR in English, but I have only read it from start to end in Spanish.

*Runs away before the angry mob gets their pitchforks and torches*

[symestreem]

Well, when I first read Fellowship of the Ring, I thought it was boring and didn't finish it. This was way back when I was eleven or twelve.

Then when I read it again, and saw the movies, I created a horrible fanfic. The main character:

• is Half-elven (in my defense, I created her before I knew about the prohibition. Which I still don't completely agree with).
• is the daughter of Galadriel's AU second daughter
• had both parents die tragically, killed by orcs
• can talk to animals, to some extent
• ends up with the Fellowship, but not as a Tenth Walker-- I think. Is that where the character leaves Rivendell with the Fellowship?

And the worst part?

I'm writing it down. And publishing it.

... It's not so heinous a crime as it sounds. I'm using it as a challenge on how not to write a Sue despite given potential.

*runs away from the canonicity police*

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by Lalwendë

I want to know just how many of us have drawn pictures of "The Death of Boromir"?

I confess that one. Even though I never finished it and I think it's horrible, except that I like Aragorn's hair.

I think making a ww game in which Maeglin is Idril's lover is uncanonical enough, not to mention other stuff that happened in that game (balrogs having bling, singing Disney songs and being kidnapped by ufos, just to mention a few).

What else? I'm currently painting Túrin and Gwindor at Lake Ivrin and I'm pretty sure the landscape is quite uncanon because I didn't bother to check how it is described and my Nargothrond doesn't look very hidden... (but that's purely for artistic reasons, I needed to show that the city was there...) *flees the Allmighty Groundhog Who Sees Through Feeble Excuses*

[Galadriel55]

Originally Posted by Estelyn Telcontar

...and a half-Halfling (Quarterling, for you math buffs)

Wouldn't it be a three-quater-ling?

Anyways...

My crime is... or crimes are...

- forgetting to use a Gandalf Uncloaking joke a few times when I could have used it.

- Questioning Balrog's unexistent wings.

- We is a good girl, my preciousss!

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

- forgetting to use a Gandalf Uncloaking joke a few times when I could have used it.

I thought that the crime was to remember to use the Uncloaking joke.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

I have told a lot of people to skip reading the books and just watch the movies.

I've also offered up a revised 'good parts version' of The Fellowship that didn't include the Prologue or the Council of Elrond, among other things. I have expounded amongst the literati that Tolkien may have been a cunning linguist, but he undoubtedly failed when the quiz was on the topic of pacing or brevity.

I unflinchingly referred to Tolkien as "a pretentious elitist white boy" and wrote a long and elaborate (and, admittedly, uncouth) essay about how 'pervading culture' may explain but does not excuse latent racism and misogyny.

These crimes against Tolkienty I do confess without shame.

[Nerwen]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

I thought that the crime was to remember to use the Uncloaking joke.

Absolutely. I am currently *puts on mad scientist hat* working on a device that will seek out and zap any internet user who mentions "Gandalf" and "uncloaking" in the same sentence. Works on broadband and wireless!

And Fea, now you're just trying to stir people.

[Morthoron]

My crime is to read Lord of the Rings without taking into account any Catholicity or religious symbology whatsoever. I don't see martyrs or messiah figures or invocations of the virgin. Middle-earth is a wonderfully pagan place where folks are more concerned about the here-and-now than the hereafter. Except for the Elves, of course, who are a decadent monarchical stereotype, ever bemoaning the loss of their conservative wonderland to the upstart and oafish proletariat.

[mark12_30]

Tra la la la la la la lally
Here down in the valley (Yee-hee!)
O Tra la la la la la lally
The Valley is Jolly!

[Thinlómien]

Well then, my yet unannounced crimes in the world of RPGing include at least:

- Dwarf women without beards (although this of course can be disputed, but it looks like the beards would be slightly more canonical)
- D&D style magic in Middle-Earth (in a rather limited scale, but still!) & fairytale style magic too
- Elves' special sleep habits ignored
- Rohirrim with rather literal culture
- and some stuff I unfortunately cannot write here because one of the players might be reading this


Crimes when it comes to reading Tolkien's works:

- I get mixed up with Tolkien's geography and place names
- sometimes (seldom though) I hope Tolkien had written some things differently
- despite everything I'm still unhappy with Tolkien's female characters
- sometimes I come up with complicated theories about the characters' psychological motives and I'm sure the Professor himself would not approve of all of them (eg. Beleg being gay and being in love with Túrin)
- I'm surprised whenever Tolkien's thoughts seem liberal

[Nerwen]

And your very latest, Lommy my dear, will be found on the "King's Players" thread.

[Durelin]

Wow I really wasn't being very honest here.

Anyone who's put up with me in RPing here on the Downs knows I'm not the most faithful to canon... I not only played an evil Elf a long time ago (but I will proudly say that my first character was not a typical Mary Sue but rather a very stereotypical Hobbit...but I still think in a rather nice way), but I have played with canon characters. I am the ultimate hypocrite who complains about people who always want to write canon characters...but then have done it a couple times. On another site, a long time ago, a friend and I started an RPG in which I played Denethor. That was really fun...I think he's a very interesting character.

Emo elves!

Being more heavily influenced by other fantasy writers...

And...I've only read The Lord of the Rings once through...only read bits of the Sil. (Don't ask me how many times I watched the movies when they came out.) Oh and I BSed a paper in high school that suggested allegory in a piece of the Sil.

Lommy -- My one(?) moment of thinking canonicity sounds excellent, bearded dwarf women! I do appreciate dwarves so much more now...thank you for that.

[Galadriel55]

- Watching PJ's movies (half the world should go to jail for that )

More seriously:

- Mixing up Hurin and Huor
- Mixing up Huor and Tuor
- Mixing up Tuor and Turin
- Mixing up Celeborn, Celebrimbor, and Celegorm
- Not having yet read UT and most of HOME
- Skipping pages of CT's commentary in the two HOME books that I've read (Treason of Isengard and End of the 3rd Age)

[Thinlómien]

Originally Posted by Nerwen

And your very latest, Lommy my dear, will be found on the "King's Players" thread.

I'm glad you liked it.

[Mithalwen]

No the correct answer Kashish is "I am a vile spammer and thoroughly deserve the thunderbolt that will hit this post shortly" after which later readers will think I have gone off my trolley. So no change there....

[narfforc]

I am the author of The Lord of the Grins......no person in Middle-earth has escaped my parody. Five years in the writing, it is massive. Having said that, I don't think it's a real crime, I did it out of love. If anyone who is on Facebook wants to read some join The Lord of the Grins or read on The Barrow-Downs The Name of the Game....

[narfforc]

Originally Posted by Morthoron

My crime is to read Lord of the Rings without taking into account any Catholicity or religious symbology whatsoever. I don't see martyrs or messiah figures or invocations of the virgin. Middle-earth is a wonderfully pagan place where folks are more concerned about the here-and-now than the hereafter. Except for the Elves, of course, who are a decadent monarchical stereotype, ever bemoaning the loss of their conservative wonderland to the upstart and oafish proletariat.

Absolutely Marvellous......ditto.

[Galadriel55]

Combining Tolkien and math.

[Thinlómien]

Combining Tolkien and politics.

[Feanor of the Peredhil]

Combining Tolkien and science.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Combining Tolkien and theology!

I hope none of my professors will/have realised that...
(although, if so, it's their problem, not mine...)

[Mnemosyne]

Combining Tolkien and liquor.

[mark12_30]

Your ponies need shoing, the daylight is dying

hee hee HEE hee hee ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[TheGreatElvenWarrior]

Originally Posted by Galadriel55

- Skipping pages of CT's commentary in the two HOME books that I've read (Treason of Isengard and End of the 3rd Age)

But really, who has read all of CTs commentary? In any book.

[Legate of Amon Lanc]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

But really, who has read all of CTs commentary? In any book.

I usually do read them. All of them. Or, at most, on e.g. second reading of the book, but I do (I used to do it like that when I was much younger, though, nowadays I do it usually on first reading).

[Mithalwen]

Originally Posted by TheGreatElvenWarrior

But really, who has read all of CTs commentary? In any book.

I do. I need to go back to the earlier volumes but with the History of LOTR ones I found the commentaries fascinating and read them cover to cover. There are some wonderful gems of dry humour - my favourite perhaps being on the Bingoes. UT is possibly my favourite single volume.