How many.....? - The Barrow-Downs Discussion Forum

littlemanpoet · 01-30-2007, 04:33 PM

Okay, tell me if this is a bad idea or just ignore it, but there's a certain thread on Books that got me thinking this way.

You know how there are all those jokes about how many ________ does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, why not do a thread with "how many" jokes based on Tolkien's writings? In other words, why not see how many times we can make the poor old Beren roll over in his grave?

You can change the creature, and you can change what gets changed. Uh, get it?

I'm not very good at jokes, but I'm sure bunches of you are, so feel free to improve on my poorish attempt, or come up with one of your own, or answer my ridiculous question with an clever, clownish, humorous answer of your own. (See? I'm so bad at this I'm leaving it to the rest of you to come up with an answer 'cause I can't think of one.....)

How many Huorns does it take to change a Palantir?

Bêthberry · 01-30-2007, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by littlemanpoet

How many Huorns does it take to change a Palantir?

None, because Huorns wouldn't desecrate a cotton tree to make cloth nappies and Middle-earth doesn't have disposable ones.

Is that the idea?

littlemanpoet · 01-30-2007, 09:26 PM

Great start!

Thanks!

Anybody else?

And feel free to add your own wrinkle. Such as.....

....how many hobbits does it take to trick a dragon?

... or whatever....

Farael · 01-30-2007, 10:29 PM

I think I've been too much on the 'downs... the threads are getting all mixed up and running together in my mind

How many free peoples of ME does it take to annoy Sauron?

Nine men, who above all else, desire a quick cheap laugh, like a dwarf burping
Seven dwarves, great miners but even better pranksters
Three elves, fairest and most witty of all beings

But they were all deceived because one more kind of free people would do the trick.

One hobbit to destroy the ring and ruin it all

Rikae · 01-31-2007, 10:43 AM

How many Uruks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Roll pop?

Morai · 01-31-2007, 04:51 PM

Quote:

How many Uruks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Roll pop?

None, for all the Uruks had a deadly brawl over the candy.

How many Bder's does it take to win ME Idol?

01-30-2007, 04:33 PM	#1
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,072	How many.....? Okay, tell me if this is a bad idea or just ignore it, but there's a certain thread on Books that got me thinking this way. You know how there are all those jokes about how many ________ does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well, why not do a thread with "how many" jokes based on Tolkien's writings? In other words, why not see how many times we can make the poor old Beren roll over in his grave? You can change the creature, and you can change what gets changed. Uh, get it? I'm not very good at jokes, but I'm sure bunches of you are, so feel free to improve on my poorish attempt, or come up with one of your own, or answer my ridiculous question with an clever, clownish, humorous answer of your own. (See? I'm so bad at this I'm leaving it to the rest of you to come up with an answer 'cause I can't think of one.....) How many Huorns does it take to change a Palantir?

01-30-2007, 10:29 PM	#4
Farael Ghost Prince of Cardolan Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: In hospitals, call rooms and (rarely) my apartment. Posts: 1,549	I think I've been too much on the 'downs... the threads are getting all mixed up and running together in my mind How many free peoples of ME does it take to annoy Sauron? Nine men, who above all else, desire a quick cheap laugh, like a dwarf burping Seven dwarves, great miners but even better pranksters Three elves, fairest and most witty of all beings But they were all deceived because one more kind of free people would do the trick. One hobbit to destroy the ring and ruin it all __________________ I prepared Explosive Runes this morning.

01-30-2007, 09:26 PM	#3
littlemanpoet Itinerant Songster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Edge of Faerie Posts: 7,072	Great start! Thanks! Anybody else? And feel free to add your own wrinkle. Such as..... ....how many hobbits does it take to trick a dragon? ... or whatever....

01-31-2007, 10:43 AM	#5
Rikae Mellifluous Maia Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: A glade open to the stars, deep in Nan Elmoth Posts: 3,533	How many Uruks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie-Roll pop?