The Name of the game

[narfforc]

Having spent the last two years of my life wasting time, I'd like to give you an opportunity to join me. I'd like you to see if you can come up with any ALTERNATIVE names for characters or places. As I have almost finished a book, I won't rip off your ideas (much). Here are some off my pathetic attempts


The Followship of the Ring.

The Grand Alf (stage name)
Paragon son of Paramount, Alesser Heir of Everdulls son Evenduller.
Legless Greenteeth son King Thatfool lord of The Silly Elves
Grimy son of Grubby cousin of The King Under the Influence
Borrowit son of Denizen son of Egalitarian Stalwart of Gondour
Fido son of Doggo nephew of Bilious Braggins
Stan Gamble son of Hamble Gamble or Hamfist the Grafter.
Meretricious Brandishmuck or Messy
Peregrinate Talk or Pipsqueak.

Tom Bombastic and Goldigger, The Glibber Womans Daughter
Elbow Halfman of Riverdwell
Barman Butterball of The Prattling Parrot
Olwen Undomesticated

The Two Townies.

Sourman the Irate of Oldcrank in the circle of Eyesonguard.
Grimly Worntwang son of Gammy
Theocrat son of Thegnguy
Earmore son of Earnaught, and brother of Lady Earwax
Harmer the Doorman of Milkingshed
Shirkingbad of Worstfold

The Retinue of the King

Sourone The Dank Lord of Bad-Odour.
The Witchy-King of Wagner Lord of The Ring Cyclists.
Faraway brother of Borrowit, Defender of Ohgivusalaugh
Himhadrill son of Dadhadrill, Lord of The Dolt Amlost Shipyards
The Sons of Elbow, Elovaman and Elovabovva.


Well thers a few, see if you can come up with any(of your own).

[AbercrombieOfRohan]

While talking to my friends via Gmail, I casually mentioned Eärwen but I spelled it without the accent. One of my (ex...) friends said to me, and I quote, "Hehe Earwen. Arwen is so close to Armwen, which sounds way cooler. Then we can have a Footwen, an Eyewen, a Handwen, and so on. hehe the Shoulderwen's connected to the Armwen. The Armwen's connected to the Elbowen. The Elbowen's connected to the Handwen....*sings*"

[Galadriel55]

Gil-galad ate a Dill Salad.

Moria had an epidemic of Malaria.

If the sun can't shine through Nen Uial's dimmness, Nothing Will.

[narfforc]

Giddy-lad was The Slightly High-king of the No-older.

King Thingy Greatmangled, Elude Singular Lord of a Thousand Cafe's, Manygrowth of Doorhehath.

[Bêthberry]

The Cottage of Tossed Hay

Alalcreamery of the Dairy Realms

Lor! Teary-on

[narfforc]

Chewin Chewinbar Glaring-a-Daggerin

There were once brothers Hewin and Hewer, their sons were Chewin and Chewer....... they had vastly different luck in life, Chewer married Idiot Cerebellum daughter of King Turgid whilst Chewin was cursed by Mortcough and his father Hewin Fallen was held prisoner in Hangbad beneath Thatgotridofhim which is told in the story of The Harm-i-Kin Hewin.

The Sword that Chewin used to kill the dragon Glaring, was called Gorefang but it was reforged from Anglehell which had been made by Hellhol the dark elf of Nab Elfmutha.

[narfforc]

To the battle at Minus Thrifty came....

Forgon the Flat Lord of Lostdeknack

The men of Ringlow Dial and their lord's son Defonnin

The men of Morefood and Blacktooth Male their lord Droolman and his sons Droolin and Devourin

from Fallonass, The Landslang came Gollygosh and his scantilly clad men

from Lamexcuse came a few Ill-men with a sick note from their captain.

[Pitchwife]

Nice. How about the Valar?

Manfred, god of romantic tragedy
Varta*, goddess of electricity
Awly the Shoemaker, god of footwear
Iwanna, goddess of desire
Norman Lord of Bondage, god of obsession
Gearman Lord of Lorryvan, god of transport
Vienna, goddess of Art Nouveau
Osramy*, god of enlightenment
Pulmo the Breather, god of air
Polkas, god of dance
Milka*, god of sweet temptation

(* these are brandnames of batteries, lightbulbs and chocolate, respectively, which may or may not be known outside Germany)

As for the fellowship:

Randolph the Rare (renowned for his unforgettable barbecues)
Oregon son of Marathon
Borrowme son of Debtor
Fido Doggins, heir of Doghouse (yeah, narfforc's already been there, but I can't do better)
Slam Banshee
Sherry Brandybottle
Terpentine Pook, nicknamed Tintin
Glimmery son of Glowing
Lacklustre son of Treadmill

Also, let's not forget the Lady Allegriel and her consort, Lord Celibidachë.

[Galadriel55]

There was a man named Hurryin' Eatsfast, who married Floorhen Inpigpen. They had three children. Tworings was the oldest. The first daughter was Urn, nicknmed Lowlife. The youngest was Neithernor, later called Ninnyface.

Some of Tworings' other names:

Theywin
Normstokill
Aguyinhell
'Gearwin
Tour-behind-the-bars
Donein Glorydung

[narfforc]

Some really good ones there...love them.

[narfforc]

In the history of The Dulledain there were once Kings of men who built mighty floating barges...they were called The Six Sea-kings or VI Kings. Their names were Tar-Anonymous I, Erik I, Kilohertz and Kilocycle.......of the last two little is known apart from their names which were Pop I and Tugboat Will I.

[narfforc]

In the litle town of Free, in The Prattling Parrot he was known simply as Stupor by the owner, a one Barman Butterball, this was due to the blank expression. That was caused by too many botox injections at the hands of Rubbermask Brown at Razscalpel. Secretly though he was none other than The Chief Stranger of the North, descendant of Kings. It was in the time of Halfashoe great grandson of Halfaleg that The Witchy-king of Wagner chased the Dulledain from their city of Forlorn and they wandered their broken realm with their chieftain Halfanhearth...............

[narfforc]

'The Seven Phones are The PAL.HAND.T.V's of The Kings of Neomanor. Their name mean That With Which To Communicate from Afar and The Seeing-Phone of Oldcrank is but one of them' said The Grand Alf, as he then sang:-

Big screens and loud rings
With polytones three
How good it is to have at hand
A thing with which to see
Seven styles of seven phones
With one it's tariff free......

[Eönwë]

I posted this before but:

Originally Posted by Eönwë

At school, we had a project in which we had to design a video game.
For mine, my first thought was of a LOTR parody that went something like this:

The LOTR Dance-Off

Scenario: You have been trapped by the evil side and they have decided to allow one of you to escape. This is decided by a dance-off for their amusement.

Contestants:
G-Wizz (the dance-floor wizard)
Leggy-lass (the beautiful female)
Argon (the noble air)
And last but not least, Boromir the Disco King (It was by this time that I realised that I would be posting on this thread)

Judges:
Sour-One
Sourer-Man
Mr G'lum

And then I realised that no-one in my school would get all of the references (A depressing thought really), so I changes my idea to something more serious.

[Galadriel55]

Selling-bill had two sons: I-say-rule and Eyes-narrowing. They founded two kingdoms after escaping Want-no-more: All-yours in the north and Gone-duh in the south. I-say-rule lived in Minus-sit-still and Eyes-narrowing lived in Mine-is-better.

Yeah, lame.

[narfforc]

No! that is quite good, I like it.