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Old 10-27-2005, 03:07 PM   #1
piosenniel
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The Eye Assigned to Mordor Planning/Discussion Thread

This Discussion thread is being set up for the purposes of finalizing the game proposal for littlemanpoet’s game.

Only these people may post to this thread at present: (Any other posts will be deleted)
  • littlemanpoet – game manager

  • Celuien
  • Durelin
  • Encaitare
  • Feanor of the Peredhil
  • Kath
  • the guy who be short
  • the phantom

  • Bêthberry
  • Shire mods – piosenniel & Child of the 7th Age

~*~

For now please read the game proposal carefully & then PM littlemanpoet as he requests with your application and any questions.

~*~

Last edited by piosenniel; 11-06-2005 at 02:50 AM.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:08 PM   #2
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Assigned to Mordor


Historical Background:

~*~

Please Note: All anachronisms (from here on out spelled "anakronisms" after the Greek) shall be rendered in italics.

~*~

It is Fourth Age 650. Gondor has become an empire both powerful and corrupt. It is bordered on the east by the farthest extents of the Iron Hills, Rhûn, and Mordor; on the south by an inexact boundary shy of Far Harad; on the north by Ered Mithrin; on the west by the Sea. The king on the throne is the heir of Elessar, but a mere shadow of his forebear.

It is said that in 450, two sorcerers, rumored to be centuries old, came from the east, and attracted to the height of glory of the Gondorian Empire, sought places of power and influence in the king's court. Not willing to share his power, the king refused their request, subtly made though it was. In their anger, they cast an ensorcelment upon the entire empire. The spell became known as the Anakronism Dweomer. Since then, as the two sorcerers warned, all kinds of hateful things from the future have found their way into the minds and speech of the inhabitants of the empire, such that these Anakronisms come to the lips of the unwary in everyday conversation. The king has laid down law that these things are not to be spoken. If anyone does, any citizen is empowered to accuse and bring the trespassers to justice. A minority of the citizenry have begun to complain (amongst themselves) that this law is being used by petty folk as a way to get rid of people they do not like. But there has been no groundswell of support for reform, since all the citizenry are afraid that if they speak up, they might be accused of speaking an Anakronism. The speakers of the Anakronisms are Assigned to Mordor. For in Mordor the Anakronisms are not only in the minds and speech of the people, but have taken shape and form. Most of the citizens of the empire keep silence. But enough speak the Anakronisms so that Mordor is constantly populated, and filling ever fuller. All kinds of hateful things can be found there, such as final exams; strange, hard, shiny monstrosities painted in garish colours (with orcs for brains) that race at breakneck speed down the flats of Mordor; worse yet, there is a bureaucracy the purpose of which is to (horrors!) improve the citizenry that has been Assigned to Mordor. Many other horrible Anakronisms have found there way there as well.

Last edited by piosenniel; 10-30-2005 at 03:07 PM.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:08 PM   #3
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Basic Storyline:

A few characters (four to seven) have the chance to undergo a series of trials, tests, and challenges presented to them by the Anakronism Dweomer. They work together to overcome these obstacles.

Last edited by piosenniel; 10-30-2005 at 03:09 PM.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:09 PM   #4
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The purpose of the story is: for the group of characters to successfully pass the Anakronism tests/challenges and so escape from Mordor.

This means we will know the story is over when: all the characters in the group make it out of Mordor with the blessing of the Grand Anakronist.

Starting Location: The sea of Nurn, in the Mordorian province of Nurnia.

Likely destination: Ithilien.

Last edited by piosenniel; 10-30-2005 at 03:11 PM.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:10 PM   #5
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Timeframes:

This game takes place in the Fourth Age at around year 650.

The storyline itself or plot covers three days (although I'm willing to consider five, seven, or ten days).

This game requires a time commitment of three weeks from me, the game owner and from the major players (consideration for 5, 7, or 10 weeks is optional).
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:11 PM   #6
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Characters needed:

Four to seven characters from any race among the free peoples of the Fourth Age, either gender -- ALL ROLES FILLED

~*~

Character types which would not belong: high elves; dunedain.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Player/Character List
  • littlemanpoet -- Anakron Istkon Vayor (The Grand Anakronist)
  • Feanor of the Peredhil -- Alumìne Umfuìl (aka: Alli)
  • Celuien -- Panakeia
  • Encaitare -- Wilhelmina Brochenbach
  • the guy who be short -- Fléin son of Fréin
  • Kath -- Sai Onara

  • Durelin -- Valde Delego --- 1st post needed
  • the phantom -- Mardil II --- 1st post needed

Last edited by piosenniel; 11-13-2005 at 06:30 PM.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:11 PM   #7
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Dedicated Characters:

In general - any that have been "Assigned to Mordor" on the What do you Assign to Mordor thread found in the Novices and Newcomers forum (subject to approval by the Game Owner).

Barrowdowns members should submit their "proofs", listing all the ways they have been assigned to Mordor, as well as things they have assigned to Mordor.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:16 PM   #8
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First posts for the submitted character descriptions:

Must include an account of where the character comes from, and how they were assigned to Mordor, and should end with their inclusion in the crowd gathered as mentioned in the Owner's first post.

The first four to seven characters approved will play; others will have to wait for a later chance, if it develops.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:17 PM   #9
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The game owner will play The Grand Anakronist character.


littlemanpoet’s character

NAME: Anakron Istkon Vayor

AGE: 50

RACE: Umbarian

GENDER: male

WEAPONS : none other than the Anakron Staff

APPEARANCE: Tall, black robed, austere, high forehead, a black wide-brimmed hat, long white hair, narrow, beardless face. Holds the Anakron Staff, which is made of black metal, and bears the insignia of the Grand Anakronist, a stylized representation of a Siamese Cat.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Austere, authoritative, rhetorical expert, formal. Given the right circumstances, will break out into a doggerel chattering, dancing buffoon in vaudeville style (part of the Anakronism Dweomer).

HISTORY: Elempi of Umbar grew up as a model child in a wealthy (but not ruling) family, was trained from early as a scholar in history, language, and philosophy. He taught in the Academy of Umbar for twenty years until he was handpicked by the retiring Grand Anakronist to replace him. He was given the Anakron Staff, which creates nothing, but directs the latent effects of the Anakronism Dweomer, setting up the tests, tasks, and challenges the characters must pass, complete, and achieve in order to escape from Mordor.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


FIRST POST FOR THE GAME

A crowd had gathered in the early overcast morning in the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks, the major port on the Nurnien Sea, from which two great docks stretched into the waters of the sea. The people stood in eager anticipation, for from their number would be chosen that day a small group of people who would be given the chance to escape from Mordor ... on condition that they could pass the tests set by the Grand Anakronist .

The land of Mordor held only the memory of the Dark Lord who had once ruled there with a cruel, iron will. The cataclysm that had come hard upon the heels of the Ring's destruction had changed Udûn and the Plateau of Gorgoroth into a string of deep chasms. Roads snaked from chasm to chasm for the sake of the king, who's Assigned Prisoners worked the gravel pits of old Udûn and Gorgoroth, from which stone was quarried for the buildings and roads of the empire. Luckier ones worked in the grain fields and cattle farms of the Nurnien plains, or the fisheries of the sea. The least fortunate worked the mines of the mountains, where it was said nameless evil things still crawled.

At long last, flugel horns flaired, and out from Caer Pairadocks strode the personage they had all been waiting for. Every last member of the crowd strained their necks to catch a glimpse of the august figure in whose staff was held the mystery of the Anakronism Dweomer. His black, wide brimmed hat hid his features, and his black robe shrouded his lanky frame. He came to a stop at the centermost point of the platform. Behind him rose the pinnacles of the Caer; to one side spread the sea, to the other, the town and fields beyond. The man's name was Anakron Istkon Vayor. All knew him by sight. He surveyed the crowd, and addressed them in his austere manner.

"On this auspicious day, a lucky few of you shall be given the chance to overcome the Anakronism Dweomer, to escape from Mordor, and to receive the clemency of the king, may he live forever. As you know, the Anakronism Dweomer has rendered the empire, but especially Mordor, a land cursed with all manner of evils from a terrible future time. It is most distressing to know that a future age of Middle Earth will have fallen to such depths as to be filled with so many degradations as we have seen in this land; but such is the fate of Middle Earth.

"The lucky few shall be known as the Offending Party. Their task, should they choose to accept it, is to confront three/five/seven/ten anakronisms as tests to be passed, trials to endure, or challenges to be overcome ... or all three at once, depending upon the nature of the anakronism. Should the Offending Party succeed, they shall be free to go wherever they will in Middle Earth, perhaps even to Rohan, with the king's and moderators' blessings.

"And now to choose the Offending Party."

At this, Anakron raised the Anakronist Staff, which issued what sounded like a shrill meow followed by a feline hiss, and before the eyes of all gathered, a shiny, many-coloured box rose from the ground, accompanied by oohs and aahs from the crowd. When it had stopped rising, it stood as tall as Anakron himself, and seemed to look out at the crowd with its single, dark, square eye. It was an Anakronism Transaction Mechanism, otherwise known as ATM. Anakron spoke.

"I shall now insert the king's writ, which I hold in my hand, into the slot on the right, and out of the other to the left, will come the names of the Offending Party."

Anakron inserted the card. Runes appeared in white on the dark screen, in a language and lettering formerly unknown, and by some held to be worse than the Black Speech of the Orcs, but which had now become all too familiar in Mordor: Modern English. The screen said: Deposit, Withdrawal, or Transfer? Anakron pressed the button to the right of transfer. The screen produced new runes: Please wait while your transaction is processed. The crowd groaned as one with impatience; they had become familiar with ATMs during their tenure in Mordor. An "aah" went up from the crowd as a card came out of the left hand slot, accompanied by a new message on the screen: Please take the record of your transfer. Anakron took the slip from the slot, after which the screen's message changed to Thank you. Please come again. Anakron read off the names of the soon to be Offending Party: "Alumìn-E Umfuìl." The following transactions in turn produced the following names: "Panakeia of Harad; Fléin son of Fréin of the Ironfists; Wilhelmina Brochenbach; Mardil II; Sai Onara; Valde Delego".

Last edited by piosenniel; 11-28-2005 at 01:52 PM.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:18 PM   #10
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Other information of special interest that the game owner includes for prospective players:


Inexhaustive List of Things Assigned to Mordor (to be augmented by the inclusions of the players)

Other information of special interest that you would like to include:
Inexhaustive List of Things Assigned to Mordor, to be augmented by the inclusions of the players.

ATMs
Bad Lawyers
Bureaucratic Orcs who Think They're Using Correct Grammar
Cat Litter
Cigarette Smokers (and their Litter)
Comic Sans Font
Dangling Prepositions
Dentists
Double Negatives
Early Classes
Easily Offended People
Final Exams
Food Poisoning
Fume and Stench
Ground Spitters
Guys Who Thing Pretty Girls are Always Stupid
Heavy Traffic
Inconsiderate Drivers
Loud cellphone (aka mobilephone) users
Mary-Sues
Mosquitoes
"My Bad"
Nightmares
Oversalted Popc orn
People Always in a Rush
People Who Say "It's Not Rocket Science"
Professorial Trolls who speak overwrought Jamesian English
Queue Cutters
Road Rage
Siamese Cats
Shrieking Early Birds
Snotty "Better Than Thous"
Small yapping dogs
Spat Out Chewing Gum Covering Pavement
Spreaders of Bad News
Stupid People
Ticks
Unfriendly Computers
Yankees Announcers

Last edited by piosenniel; 10-30-2005 at 03:21 PM.
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Old 10-27-2005, 03:19 PM   #11
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Character Description Form:


1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – YES/NO - Which one?

2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in?

List them, please:

Please note you may play in only 2 (TWO) Shire games at one time. Exceptions to this may be made for this on a case by case basis by the Shire Moderators. (The Green Dragon Inn DOES NOT count as a game for this.)


3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon or The White Horse Inn – YES/NO

_______________________________________


For your character please include:

NAME:

AGE:

RACE:

GENDER:

WEAPONS (No magical, super-hero, mithril weapons. Just good solid Middle-earth weapons and armor only that is appropriate to the race of the character and the time period.):

APPEARANCE:

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: (No half-Elven characters. No mixed-type characters. No super-heroes. No assassins. No one all powerful, martial arts proficient, or having any magical traits. Just regular characters with normal abilities for their races only):

HISTORY:

__________________________________


First post:


This is a requirement for this game. Character Descriptions without a First Post attached will be sent back to the writer. They may be submitted again, once there is a First Post to go with them.

Please see lmp's previous recommendation for your character's first post.

Last edited by piosenniel; 10-28-2005 at 12:00 PM.
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Old 10-28-2005, 09:11 AM   #12
littlemanpoet
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littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Just registering my presence. I don't have anything to add just yet. I'm going to make a general announcement on the What do you Assign to Mordor thread regarding this rpg, and "take applications". We'll see how it goes.
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Old 10-28-2005, 09:45 AM   #13
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I'm also here. I'm getting together a list of all the ways I've been Assigned to create my character. I just had a fantastic idea. We'll see what comes of it.
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Old 10-28-2005, 10:28 AM   #14
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Ideas of things to be found in the game, based on comments on the thread:

"Human tongues flopping around, finding the easiest way to say words." LMP

"A large party of female 'Downers hammering on the Black Gate pleading to be let in." ~Lal

Wingèd Balrogs with no Gandalf to fight them ~Form and LMP

Nerve-wracking phone calls and pretentious pronunciations. Eomer of the Rohirrim and the phantom.

Also, my "proofs":

The phantom assigned me for walking in the street instead of on sidewalks. Saucie assigned me for assigning minor irritations without second thought. Eomer assigned people in general. Lathriel's got me because I say "zee" to pronounce this letter: z. LMP sent me, whether he knew it or not, for pretentious pronunciation. TGWBS sent me as a Balrog Winger. Saucie sent me because I'm a teenager [one] that doesn't understand parental worry [two]. TORE sent the unsigned positive reps that (yes, I'm coming clean) I sent him. Gothmog's got me as an American. Mormegil's got me for complaining about not being able to find a pair of size 7 1/2 clogs. TORE's got me because of art projects involving negative space: if I'm not sent for having assigned them to students under my watch, I'm there trying to retrieve them. And Gothmog sent me for being an impossible-to-understand girl.

The things I've assigned (wow, I've been busy and disgruntled!):

Lima beans
Britney Spears
rumor-mongorers
deadlines
chapped lips
vomit
nurses that don't understand that asthma attacks are bad
guys who think that attractive girls are _____
computer viruses
spyware
REGENTS exams
all standardized tests
"nuc-ular"
Mice
People who look at me with a horrified look as they see the habit I've developed of dipping Troops' curly fries into chocolate ice cream.
And I'll send my own inability to turn down food-dares.
hot weather that makes me not want to eat.
when henna fades so it looks like you're dirty, instead of decorated
spider bites.
political correctness
sunburns
pretentious use of silent letters.
water that accidentally gets inhaled when you're messing around in the pool.
allergies and all of their varied symptoms
migraines
criticism about me instead of to me
Psychics.
college placement tests.
having to wait until LMP says so to watch that madly fun sounding RP unfold.
acute paranoia.
skinned knees.
Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones.
slivers.
stubbed toes.
people who pronounce it Ray-min noodles. It's Rah-men.
Multiple lynchings
medication tolerance
Level 81 in the Pit of 100 Trials in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door.
nagging parents.
being too sick to flirt
business attire
canonicity
forgetting how to draw
New computers that won't let me pirate music.
idiotic Phys. Ed. teachers
work in a hundred degree greenhouse
hovering parents.
Axe-murderes
adults who think that moody teenagers are going to care about the difficulties of being a parent.
"You are judged by the company you keep."
people who think that a Straight Edge lifestyle means you've got a gang mentality
when my parents brag about me
paranoia of law enforcement officers.
procrastination
bad habits
text books that cost over a hundred bucks a piece and that they have no used versions of
Saturday morning classes.
Idiotic bees.
Collegiate insomnia.
college dorm parties
blisters
such a huge workload that one does not even know where to begin
Mac computers
I assign classes that I couldn't stand but that I still did really well in.
crystal clear memories you'd like not to have
telephones
SAVEs
all of the pop drinkers
there not being a single open washing machine
And interpretation besides the author’s
10th grade
computer-monitor induced headaches,
friends being sick,
Psych tests,
trying to decipher Shakespeare when there are so many fantastic distractions
not being able to find a shoe in your size
pushy extroverts
people that forget about the "grey area" in between what's black and white
pulled
inability to hold a standard

I'll have a character bio and first post some time soon. But as has been said... no rush.
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Old 10-28-2005, 11:08 AM   #15
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1420!

Quote:
Originally Posted by piosenniel
Dedicated Characters:

In general - any that have been "Assigned to Mordor" on the What do you Assign to Mordor thread found in the Novices and Newcomers forum (subject to approval by the Game Owner).

Barrowdowns members should submit their "proofs", listing all the ways they have been assigned to Mordor, as well as things they have assigned to Mordor.

Just to clarify this point: if a Barrow Downer has not himself or herself already been 'assigned' to Mordor by a fellow Downer, does that mean he or she cannot apply?

I love the the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks. Nurnia?
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Old 10-28-2005, 03:15 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bêthberry
Just to clarify this point: if a Barrow Downer has not himself or herself already been 'assigned' to Mordor by a fellow Downer, does that mean he or she cannot apply?

I love the the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks. Nurnia?
That is correct. You need to assign something to Mordor, and find something that has already been assigned to Mordor. That, of course, forces you to read at least some of my thread (very selfish of me, I know ). But do not let that intimidate you! So much has been assigned to Mordor over the last few months that something is bound to apply to you. And all you have to do is rant about something that you don't like on What Do You Assign to Mordor, using the proper form: "I assign to Mordor:_______" and there you go.

Edit: Just to clarify: you don't have to be assigned by name to Mordor on the What Do You Assign to Mordor; rather, if some attribute of which you are - ahem - "guilty" gets assigned, then you may consider yourself assigned. Hence, if you speak modern English, you have been assigned to Mordor, by default of being a member at BD.

Last edited by littlemanpoet; 10-29-2005 at 12:18 PM.
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Old 10-28-2005, 03:42 PM   #17
Feanor of the Peredhil
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Feanor of the Peredhil's character


NAME: Alumìne Umfuìl (though the ‘e’ is silent, her name is often pretentiously pronounced by others as “Ah-loom-IN-ee Um-FOY-ul” when it’s actually pronounced “Al-oo-MIN Um-FOY-l”. She calls herself Alli.)

AGE: 18

RACE: Human

GENDER: Female

WEAPONS (No magical, super-hero, mithril weapons. Just good solid Middle-earth weapons and armor only that is appropriate to the race of the character and the time period.): piercing tongue is just about it, though when she’s in Mordor, she learns to use paper as a weapon, cutting her enemies with the razor sharp edges. Also in Mordor, she carries several small bottles containing angry bees and mosquitoes to sic on people.

APPEARANCE: Alli is 5’7” and thin, having grown from 5’3” and less thin in a very short time span. She has not yet grown accustomed to her lengthened frame and often trips over her own feet, stubbing her toes painfully. Her walk is very suited to her, as a sort of mix between sauntering and shuffling. She is working tirelessly to regain the grace she once had. Her hair is black as night and she tends to wear it braided tightly and bound away from her face. Her delightfully piercing eyes are an interesting blend of colors that lazy people oft term “grey”, though they are mostly blue, containing flecks of gold, brown, and many other tones of that variety. She far prefers to wear casual clothing, but listens when her mother tells her that she must always dress appropriately for the circumstance.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Alumìne hates her name, but can’t for her own life convince people to either say it correctly or simply call her Alli, as she prefers. They insist on over-pronouncing the superfluous letter. She often mispronounces others’ names as retribution. Once they begin to call her Alli, she begins to say their names right. Alli’s strength is in her clever tongue: she needs little time to tease easily and can talk her way into or out of nearly anything. Most people laugh off her sarcasm, but it has been known to get her into spots of a bother with people who take things too seriously. When battling, she often resorts to tactics such as speaking in depth about whatever subject springs to mind to divert the attention of the enemy. In Gondor, she tries hard to limit her speech, but once in Mordor, she goes off onto whichever Anakronism springs to mind. Alli is very out-spoken and has interesting quirks that often annoy other people, or at least make her impossible for them to understand.

HISTORY: Alli was born in FA 632 to a moderately happy and very loving family living several miles outside of the city of Minas Tirith. She was the youngest of the children by many years, and her brothers and parents were very fond of her, though all but one of her siblings no longer lived at home. Terrified of the Anakronisms that had taken over the world and ensnared several family members already, the Umfuìl family kept their infant daughter hidden, afraid that her first word would be something hideous like “loyer” or “chav,” and that it would be uttered in the hearing of a stranger. As Alumìne grew to speak, her parents’ fears were proven well-founded. Her first words were “my bad”, uttered adorably from her cherubic lips. Her parents gasped. Her mother fell weeping into her father’s arms, as he shook with repressed emotion. Even Alli’s stubborn brother Enaichel, who had been sitting moodily in a corner for quite some time, was encouraged to action. He cried out, waving his “L” shaped walking stick, and took his beloved sister into his arms, looking into her glowing eyes with pity.

“We must never let her be heard until she learns not to speak these things.” He murmured, looking worriedly to his parents.

"Literary theory.” The baby gurgled. Her mother sobbed. With much regret, the family made the decision to keep Alumìne a secret until she was older. They could not bear for her to be taken from them.

As Alli grew into a child, she was educated at home in all manner of things. She learned her letters and she could think algebraically. She was most interested, however, in her government. She learned at a young age that the King of Gondor was not on par with his fathers of old. As she grew into a lovely teenager, she ignored her parents’ desires for her safety and became rather outspoken about her view on the politics of Gondor. By this time, she had learned not to speak when an Anakronism would invade her thoughts. Her family had moved into Minas Tirith, and Alli was loved by her neighbors as an enthusiastic, if a little odd, young woman, who never shirked her duties and was a joy to be with.

However Alli’s luck turned one cold morning when she was walking to the market to purchase milk for her family. She glimpsed a piece of parchment nailed to a door. The theses written thereon contained nearly one hundred points. She read each swiftly, becoming more and more dissatisfied with the King’s political agenda. “Even a Yankees announcer would make a better leader than him.” She muttered rebelliously and without thought. Suddenly she was seized from behind by a pair of large and angry looking guards. “She spoke an Anakronism.” one said. “She has assigned herself to Mordor.” agreed the other. Without further ado, Alumìne Umfuìl was transported to the most desolate part of Middle Earth. She never even got to say goodbye to her parents, annoying and preachy though they were, or even to watch Enaichel play his sports again.

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Feanor of the Peredhil's post


Alli stood moping in the back of the crowd gathered at Caer Pairadocks and glared moodily at all those who jostled her. It was not nearly late enough in the morning for this sort of thing, and the fact that she had been all but ordered to attend this... this... this ceremony, as it were... it boiled the blood in her veins. At least she wasn't at work, she thought with disgruntlement. The job of affixing wings to balrogs was a difficult one, trying to work in shadow, and the worst was, all balrog-wingers tended to get burned on a regular basis by the foolish beasts that refused to adopt the reality of the situation with grace. She grimaced at the raw blisters on her hands. They would heal quickly... if the mostly inept physicians that populated Mordor had one thing going for them, it was that they were excellent at treating burns. Suddenly the very flugellic sound of horns met Alli's ears.

It had to be horns, she thought. No hope for any creativity... She glared with renewed passion at the men that shoved past her to reach the front of the crowd. Suddenly there was a hush. An austere voice split the air like lightening, leaving the crowd tingling with anticipation. Even Alli perked up, morning though it was. A chance to get out of Mordor? she thought. An inconsiderate smoker lit up in front of her just as the wind decided to caress Alli's face. She forgot the ceremony as she choked, her eyes beginning to water. Gasping for breath, she was grabbed by a nearby nurse.

"On a scale of one to ten," the woman said, "how much does it hurt?"

Alli ignored her, stumbling her way through the crowd and away from the smoke that burned her lungs. Suddenly she realized that she was standing right beside a tall man, clad entirely in black. As she fell forward, catching herself just before she skinned her knees, the man turned to her with an aristocratic sneer. She gasped as she noticed the Anakronism Dweomer in his grasp. He turned from her, caring little for the antics of a girl barely into womanhood, and addressed the ATM before him. Alli whispered to the kindly looking old woman next to her.

"What are you in for?" she asked, curiously.

"Me? Well, my word. How that's any of your business, I'll never know." Alli looked incredulously at the easily offended woman and turned away from her, looking for an understanding face. She found one in the form of a very good looking young man. He seemed to be stifling laughter.

"Are you laughing at me?" she asked as the ATM took an absurdly long time to continue its processing.

"Sure I am. Are you going to get offended?" he responded. She looked at him in momentary shock and then laughed. "I'll bet you're wondering what this whole ceremony is for."

"How did you know!?" she gasped.

"I'm am a Seer... in the distant future, I will be called "psychic". I tried to explain my foresight and was put here by the King's writ. But this..." he gestured toward the crowd, the man... the ATM. "There's been news. A certain number of Assignees are being given a chance to leave Mordor."

"Wha-" she began, suddenly remembering the voice that had reached even over the bustling crowd. "Oh, yes... I heard that part. How are they chosen?"

He responded with an ironic smile. "The ATM. The ATM handles all transactions in these parts."

"I should have known."

Suddenly the crowd went silent as the proverbial grave. The ATM had spat out a piece of paper. Anakron took it with his abnormally long fingers and glanced at it for a moment.

"The first member of the Offending Party is..." he began. Alli recognized the look in his eye. It was the look that never failed to accompany a mis-pronunciation of her name. She hoped and prayed, and then, remembering that hoping for proper speech had never worked before, merely prayed. She could not bring herself to be excited... she simply murmered over and over the right way... He continued finally. "Alumin--" Don't say it! she thought annoyedly. The letter is superfluous. It's not supposed to go there! You don't need to say it! "Alumìn-E Umfuìl." he finished at last.

"Alli!" she cried, stepping forward. "My name is Alli. If you can't say Alumine Umfoil properly, just," she now paused between words for effect, "say," she paused again, "Alli." Suddenly it struck her properly. "Wait..." she murmered, incredulous. "I can go home? I can see Enaichel play his games again? I can tell my parents that now that I've had a real job, I actually appreciate how well I had it before?"

Anakron looked at her with disdain. "If the ATM says it is true, then it is." He turned from her with a cold swish of his cloak as another name was expelled from the machine.

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10/29 Note: Set up for easy transfer to the RPG Thread ~*~ Pio
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Last edited by Feanor of the Peredhil; 10-30-2005 at 03:43 PM.
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Old 10-29-2005, 12:22 PM   #18
littlemanpoet
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littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.littlemanpoet is battling Black Riders on Weathertop.
Clarification on being 'assigned to Mordor'

Just in case you missed my edit regarding being assigned to Mordor: you don't have to be assigned by name to Mordor on the What Do You Assign to Mordor thread; rather, if some attribute of which you are - ahem - "guilty" gets assigned, then you may consider yourself assigned. Hence, if you speak modern English, you have been assigned to Mordor, by default of being a member at BD.
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Old 10-29-2005, 01:12 PM   #19
Feanor of the Peredhil
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Also, don't forget that people in general (Eomer) and teenagers (Saucie)... as well as I think parents... have been assigned. So pretty much, if you've ever been a teenager, a parent, or a person (I think that pretty well covers everyone ), you're welcome to submit.
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Old 10-29-2005, 01:24 PM   #20
littlemanpoet
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Feanor of the Peredhil
Also, don't forget that people in general (Eomer) and teenagers (Saucie)... as well as I think parents... have been assigned. So pretty much, if you've ever been a teenager, a parent, or a person (I think that pretty well covers everyone ), you're welcome to submit.
Well, yeah. But for a really creative experience, it's best to read through what's assinged; take Feanor's first post, for example.

Oh, and I hope to see spoof on other fantasy as well, such as what I tried to do with C.S. Lewis's Chronicles of Narnia; attempted to be done well, of course.
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Old 10-29-2005, 01:24 PM   #21
piosenniel
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From the "What do you assign to Mordor" thread in Novices and Newcomers:

littlemanpoet posted this:

Quote:
The Assigned To Mordor (ATM for short) rpg is now in the planning phase. If you are interested, check [the planning thread] out.

If you want to "apply", so to speak, look through this thread and make a list of all the ways you've been "assigned to Mordor", and also make a list of all the things you've assigned to Mordor. Pick from these two lists what you want to have be part of your story. For more information, I direct you to the thread listed above. Hope to see you there!

Send a PM to me with your "application". First 4 to 7 approved, and we begin.

For now please continue PM littlemanpoet as he requests with your application and any questions.

Once you and he have discussed your submission, then he will put your name on this thread and you can then post here.



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For any interested players new to gaming in the Shire

Please note that in order to play in this game, you will need to have read the rules for posting in the Shire (The Red Book of Westmarch sticky topic in the Shire forum) and you will need to make at least one post in The Green Dragon Inn if you've not done so already - or have been a poster in The White Horse Inn in Rohan.

Also - once you have discussed your character idea with littlemanpoet, you will need to start working it up using the Character Description form found on post #11 of this thread. That's the form in which you will eventually submit it to this thread.


Thanks!

~*~ Pio
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Old 10-30-2005, 12:22 PM   #22
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Celuien's character description

This is my most humble application for the ATM RPG. Here's hoping that the slots haven't all been filled already.

Things I assigned:

Ads for phony health care products
Drug company ads
Weight loss/exercise machine ads
Rap
Telemarketers
Bad translations
Warranties that expire too soon
Computer programs that can’t be uninstalled
Flight (travel) delays
28 hour shifts


How I’ve been assigned:

Speeding
Cell phone use
Watching reality TV shows
Dialect/annoying accent (My Philly background is pretty obvious when I speak, although it's far more on the accent side than poor grammar or non-standard words.)
And some of the same as Fea's:
People in general
"Zee"
Balrogs have wings
American
Impossible to understand girl


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Thanks for joining, Celuien! ATM would not feel right without you.

We still need a first post from you.

-----

EDIT: 10/30 Character Bio placed with post below ~*~ Pio

Last edited by piosenniel; 10-30-2005 at 10:22 PM.
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Old 10-30-2005, 01:55 PM   #23
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1420!

Celuien

Welcome aboard this fine game! & to the Shire.

I've put your name on the list of posters for the thread - so, please post your First Post for the game here. No need to pm it to lmp.

~*~ Pio, game moderator
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Old 10-30-2005, 02:39 PM   #24
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anakronistically italicized post

ALL ORIGINALLY POSTED HERE TRANSFERRED TO PROPOSAL ABOVE. LEAVING BIO AND POST HERE IN CASE YOU WANT TO MAKE AND CHANGES.

Let me know in a separate post to the thread if you have done an edit here.

Thanks! ~*~ Pio


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littlemanpoet's character

The game owner will play The Grand Anakronist character.

Character Description Form for owner’s character:

NAME: Anakron Istkon Vayor

AGE: 50

RACE: Umbarian

GENDER: male

WEAPONS : none other than the Anakron Staff

APPEARANCE: Tall, black robed, austere, high forehead, a black wide-brimmed hat, long white hair, narrow, beardless face. Holds the Anakron Staff, which is made of black metal, and bears the insignia of the Grand Anakronist, a stylized representation of a Siamese Cat.

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Austere, authoritative, rhetorical expert, formal. Given the right circumstances, will break out into a doggerel chattering, dancing buffoon in vaudeville style (part of the Anakronism Dweomer).

HISTORY: Elempi of Umbar grew up as a model child in a wealthy (but not ruling) family, was trained from early as a scholar in history, language, and philosophy. He taught in the Academy of Umbar for twenty years until he was handpicked by the retiring Grand Anakronist to replace him. He was given the Anakron Staff, which creates nothing, but directs the latent effects of the Anakronism Dweomer, setting up the tests, tasks, and challenges the characters must pass, complete, and achieve in order to escape from Mordor.


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FIRST POST FOR THE GAME

A crowd had gathered in the early overcast morning in the courtyard of Caer Pairadocks, the major port on the Nurnien Sea, from which two great docks stretched into the waters of the sea. The people stood in eager anticipation, for from their number would be chosen that day a small group of people who would be given the chance to escape from Mordor ... on condition that they could pass the tests set by the Grand Anakronist .

The land of Mordor held only the memory of the Dark Lord who had once ruled there with a cruel, iron will. The cataclysm that had come hard upon the heels of the Ring's destruction had changed Udûn and the Plateau of Gorgoroth into a string of deep chasms. Roads snaked from chasm to chasm for the sake of the king, who's Assigned Prisoners worked the gravel pits of old Udûn and Gorgoroth, from which stone was quarried for the buildings and roads of the empire. Luckier ones worked in the grain fields and cattle farms of the Nurnien plains, or the fisheries of the sea. The least fortunate worked the mines of the mountains, where it was said nameless evil things still crawled.

At long last, flugel horns flaired, and out from Caer Pairadocks strode the personage they had all been waiting for. Every last member of the crowd strained their necks to catch a glimpse of the august figure in whose staff was held the mystery of the Anakronism Dweomer. His black, wide brimmed hat hid his features, and his black robe shrouded his lanky frame. He came to a stop at the centermost point of the platform. Behind him rose the pinnacles of the Caer; to one side spread the sea, to the other, the town and fields beyond. The man's name was Anakron Istkon Vayor. All knew him by sight. He surveyed the crowd, and addressed them in his austere manner.

"On this auspicious day, a lucky few of you shall be given the chance to overcome the Anakronism Dweomer, to escape from Mordor, and to receive the clemency of the king, may he live forever. As you know, the Anakronism Dweomer has rendered the empire, but especially Mordor, a land cursed with all manner of evils from a terrible future time. It is most distressing to know that a future age of Middle Earth will have fallen to such depths as to be filled with so many degradations as we have seen in this land; but such is the fate of Middle Earth.

"The lucky few shall be known as the Offending Party. Their task, should they choose to accept it, is to confront three/five/seven/ten anakronisms as tests to be passed, trials to endure, or challenges to be overcome ... or all three at once, depending upon the nature of the anakronism. Should the Offending Party succeed, they shall be free to go wherever they will in Middle Earth, perhaps even to Rohan, with the king's and moderators' blessings.

"And now to choose the Offending Party."

At this, Anakron raised the Anakronist Staff, which issued what sounded like a shrill meow followed by a feline hiss, and before the eyes of all gathered, a shiny, many-coloured box rose from the ground, accompanied by oohs and aahs from the crowd. When it had stopped rising, it stood as tall as Anakron himself, and seemed to look out at the crowd with its single, dark, square eye. It was an Anakronism Transaction Mechanism, otherwise known as ATM. Anakron spoke.

"I shall now insert the king's writ, which I hold in my hand, into the slot on the right, and out of the other to the left, will come the names of the Offending Party."

Anakron inserted the card. Runes appeared in white on the dark screen, in a language and lettering formerly unknown, and by some held to be worse than the Black Speech of the Orcs, but which had now become all too familiar in Mordor: Modern English. The screen said: Deposit, Withdrawal, or Transfer? Anakron pressed the button to the right of transfer. The screen produced new runes: Please wait while your transaction is processed. The crowd groaned as one with impatience; they had become familiar with ATMs during their tenure in Mordor. An "aah" went up from the crowd as a card came out of the left hand slot, accompanied by a new message on the screen: Please take the record of your transfer. Anakron took the slip from the slot, after which the screen's message changed to Thank you. Please come again. Anakron read off the names of the soon to be Offending Party: "Alumìn-E Umfuìl." The following transactions in turn produced the following names: "Panakeia of Harad;" ______________.

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Last edited by piosenniel; 10-30-2005 at 03:44 PM.
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Old 10-30-2005, 04:25 PM   #25
Celuien
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Thanks! I'm delighted to be here.

NOTE: Edit by Pio 10/30 -- I placed your Character Bio here with your First Post.

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Character Description Form:


1.) Have you ever played in an RPG at the Barrow Downs? – Not sure if this counts, but YES, Bethberry’s Unforbidden open invitational
2.) How many RPG’s on the Barrow Downs are you currently involved in? none
3.) Have you posted in The Green Dragon or The White Horse Inn – NO, working on a post for the Green Dragon now.

____________________


Celuien’s character


NAME: Panakeia

AGE: 49

RACE: human

GENDER: female

WEAPONS: Just a smooth talking sales pitch and the ability to be persuasive. If pressed, she can modulate her voice into a shrill, high-pitched whine causing those with sensitive hearing to step back in horror. The more toxic contents of her product case (described below) could also double as weaponry if needed.

APPEARANCE: Panakeia is of average height and has long blonde hair of questionable origin. It is rumored that her tresses were a dull, mousy brown shade until she used a bottle of Pearie Ockcide Potion, although she vehemently denies this charge. She tends to be over-dressed and prefers a palette of bright oranges, greens and purple that borders on garishness. She always wears at least three substantial gold necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and has a minimum of two rings on each finger. She has dark blue eyes, but insists that they are “violet.” Panakeia is concerned with her approaching 50th birthday, and will admit to no more than 29 years in Middle-earth. She carries a large lime green bag with her at all times, emblazoned with the phrase “Panakeia’s Cure-Alls” and the picture of a fountain surrounded by smiling, cheerful picnickers. This satchel contains her line of products, since as she says, “You never know when you’ll have a chance to make a sale.”

PERSONALITY/STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: Ahem. Vanity. Big time. Pushiness. Being loud and obnoxious. Greed.

HISTORY: Panakeia was born to a poor family from the borders of Harad upon whom the curse of the Anakronism Dweomer sat heavily, like a lump of gravy on a slice of day-old turkey. Fortunately for them, this particular corner of Middle-earth was far from the ears and eyes of those who enforced the Laws of Gondor which outlawed the use of Anakronisms (or any laws at all, for that matter), so it made little difference to the young Panakeia, who grew up discussing Britney Spears and marketing tactics with her two siblings as if such terms were completely normal for Middle-earth in the Fourth Age.

By Panakeia’s 10th birthday, her family’s fortunes mysteriously changed and they found themselves in possession of a large estate. She grew into a surprisingly attractive young woman with high principles, and by 18 she was the belle of the Harad area. It was also about this time that she discovered the reason for her family’s rags-to-riches story: in a locked attic, Panakeia stumbled on a box of pamphlets advertising cheap garden spot lots. Unfortunately, a quick glance at the map included with the ads would have told anyone who had even a passing acquaintance with geography that the so-called garden spot was located smack in the middle of the Dead Marshes. Worse yet, there was evidence for many other schemes run by her family over the years. Panakeia was horrified and vowed never to join the family business, insisting that there was no offer that they could possibly make her that she would not be able to refuse.

But Fate was working against Panakeia. Shortly afterwards, retribution came upon her family in the form of disgruntled investors from the land scheme. These investors burned her home to the ground, forcing her to flee into the wilderness. In the confusion, she became separated from her relatives, none of whom she would see again. Poor Panakeia wandered in the wild for days, lost and starving. Finally, she located an old potato field, clawed a raw tuber from the earth with her fingernails and devoured it. With a cry to the setting sun of “I’ll never be hungry again,” Panakeia decided to wreak her revenge on those who had ended her fairy-tale existence by restarting her family’s old schemes. After all, if people were foolish enough to fall for her scams, they deserved whatever came to them, didn’t they? She then headed out on the road, selling various health and beauty potions of dubious quality from a roadside stand. Over the years, she became accustomed to her lifestyle and completely forgot her early idealism.

In time, her travels took her to the heart of Gondor itself. Unaware of (or perhaps indifferent to) the banning of Anakronisms, she set up her stand on the road to Minas Tirith and called out “Panakeia’s Beauty Cream! Guaranteed to give you J Lo’s youthful glow, or your money back!” She only had time to make two sales before being whisked off to Mordor by the Anakronism Police.


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Celuien's post

Near the back of the crowd gathered on Caer Pairadocks, a small disturbance was growing around Panakeia of Harad, Seller of Health and Beauty Products. Her shrill voice rang out over the crowd “Wrinkle-Away Skin Firming Solution! Take ten years off your face instantly! Only two silver pennies. Two silver pennies! Step right up.” A few purchasers hurried up to her stand, but a pair of stern guards swiftly chased them off. There would be no selling on Caer Pairadocks today. At least, not without a properly sanctioned license, sealed in triplicate with official red tape.

Panakeia glared at the officials, a look of annoyance on her face. Coming here was such a misuse of valuable time. There was work to be done, and now she couldn’t even take advantage of the presence of the many assembled Mordor assignees to hawk her wares. But the day hadn’t been a total waste. A smile flitted over Panakeia’s lips as she thought of the Westron to Black Speech dictionaries she managed to sell on the journey to the meeting. Ordinarily, she would never have thought of selling something so far out of her usual line, but being factory rejects for gross mistranslations, she had picked them up for a pittance. And with all of the new people sent to Mordor recently, there had been a large demand for dictionaries in the Black Speech. She made a tidy profit from that transaction, but she hoped that no one would have the opportunity to use the dictionaries until she was safely on her way back to her own hut.

Panakeia closed up her product case and headed over to a bench to sit down. Her feet were killing her. Several people near Panakeia ostentatiously shielded their eyes as she walked past. She was wearing her trademark tangerine and chartreuse robes with plentiful gold jewelry. Panakeia noted the gesture and swept past in her grandest fashion, clinking her bracelets as she strode along. A titter rose in her wake.

“Idiots! Simpletons!” she thought. These people who laughed at her were the same ones she knew would flock to her stand the instant she was able to open for business. She would show them all, selling them potions and poultices as ineffectual as a posted speed limit. But even though she knew the Wrinkle-Away Skin Firming Solution, like most of her other creams, was nothing more than a variation on sawdust mixed with potato starch and a bit of beet juice (just for color), as her 50th birthday approached, Panakeia had started to use the creams too. Despite flattering herself that she really did look the 29 year old she claimed to be, deep down she knew that this was not the truth. Was she really all that different from the customers she despised in her despairing struggle to hold on to her vanishing (some would say vanished) youth?

Fortunately for her composure, Panakeia’s introspective mood vanished as quickly as it had arrived. She turned her attention to the proceedings at hand. She had only been giving half of her attention to Anakron’s grand speeches, and his use of the ATM barely registered on her mind. She tapped her high-heeled foot impatiently. Would this day ever end?

“Alumìn-E Umfuìl,” droned Anakron’s voice. Panakeia watched in amusement as the young girl stepped up to the ATM and corrected The Grand Anakronist’s pronunciation of her name. Then she sighed. It was always the young, pretty ones who were chosen. Panakeia kicked a stray pebble aside. Why would she want to leave anyway? Business was good in Mordor. “There’s a sucker born every minute, and it seems that they’ve all been sent here,” she mused. But somehow, a yearning for freedom to wander Middle-earth was growing in Panakeia’s mind, despite the favorable sales prospects she had found since arriving.

The ATM whirred again. Anakron announced the next name. “Panakeia of Harad.”

Panakeia blinked in astonishment. Here was her chance to leave! At the thought of freedom, the vision of a new sales empire reaching from Harad to the Grey Havens danced in her head. Quickly recovering her usual brashness, she strode up to the ATM and stood beside Alumìne Umfuìl. “Here, Anakron. Glad to see you’ve come to your senses at last and decided to let some of us out of here. All of this fuss and bother over Anakronisms was nonsense in the first place. When’s the first flight out of here?”

Anakron shook his head at the Anakronism in Panakeia’s speech. Without a word, he returned to the ATM screen to select the next member of the Offending Party.

Last edited by piosenniel; 10-30-2005 at 10:19 PM. Reason: Adding first post...
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Old 10-30-2005, 08:44 PM   #26
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Great first post, Celuien.

I hadn't considered the possibility that any Mordor assignee would actually get to do what they wanted, such as sell useless wears, but I guess that was just outside the scope of my imagination. I think it should work fine; after all, the bureacracy is so far behind in all of it's red tape that it probably hadn't gotten to Panakeia yet!
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Old 10-31-2005, 02:44 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemanpoet
Great first post, Celuien.

I hadn't considered the possibility that any Mordor assignee would actually get to do what they wanted, such as sell useless wears, but I guess that was just outside the scope of my imagination. I think it should work fine; after all, the bureacracy is so far behind in all of it's red tape that it probably hadn't gotten to Panakeia yet!
Thanks! I'm glad the concept works in the story. It made sense to me to have Panakeia sell Mordor assigned merchandise since that was her business in the first place.

I guess the slowly turning wheels of bureaucratic machinery haven't quite come around to giving Panakeia her comeuppance for operating without a proper license, but there's always the possibility that they will...
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Old 10-31-2005, 03:45 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celuien
I guess the slowly turning wheels of bureaucratic machinery haven't quite come around to giving Panakeia her comeuppance for operating without a proper license, but there's always the possibility that they will...
Oh heavens no... not beureaucratic machinery! *shivers happily* I like it.
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Old 11-01-2005, 02:41 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Celuien
I guess the slowly turning wheels of bureaucratic machinery haven't quite come around to giving Panakeia her comeuppance for operating without a proper license, but there's always the possibility that they will...
Ah, but there's a short-cut in your case, having become a member of the Offending Party.

*LMP rubs hands relishing his evil plans*
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Old 11-03-2005, 03:26 PM   #30
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1420!

Durelin has expressed an interest in joining this game. I've put her name on the list of posters for this thread.

She'll be introducing herself . . . shortly.

~*~ Pio
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Old 11-03-2005, 04:21 PM   #31
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Excellent. Welcome, Durelin! Can't wait to see what fun you devise.
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Old 11-03-2005, 04:51 PM   #32
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*coughs* Shortly, yes...erm... *coughs*

Well, I am guilty for not having ever posted to your lovely thread, though I have certainly gained amusement from it. I just found that people assigned most of what I would have assigned myself. And thus, I have naught left but a confession.

And it follows thusly...

I do so bitterly and unenthusiastically admit that I am a helplessly fallible human soul, guilty as sin to the following things/being related to the following things, and thus have been assigned time and time again to Mordor, which albeit is supposed a condemnation and is certainly where all the cheap hotels are during any time of year, is actually not half bad:

Hypocrites (when one argument doesn't work, I use another...just so I stay sounding 'smart')
Siamese Cats/All cats (I love them dearly…)
People who try and speak in Old English but can’t (only sometimes, okay...besides, no one's ever told me I can't)
Users of non-standard words (depends on the day, but I try...)
Nightmares (*coughs*...maybe a bit too full of myself and my ghastly demeanor today?)
American Spelling (usually I am more accustomed to grey, but sometimes I slip up)
British Spelling (you remember how 'hypocrites' were first on my list...?)
People who are constantly worried about offending people (I say sorry a lot...believe it or not... I think most people I've RPed with know that pretty well )
Cold viruses (I'm a constant sniffler...and I'm pretty sure I carry some sort of virus in me pretty much all the time that's just waiting for me to sneeze on someone...)
Dangling prepositions (I can never avoid them, even though I know every time I write a sentence with a preposition at the end I am doing a great evil...)
Yoda speak (Is too cute for words, Yoda is...)
The improper switching of "your" and "you're" (I deplore this, but do it often when I am typing much to quickly...)
Black licorice haters (*makes nasty face #27*)
Red food coloring (It's a must in certain Christmas cookies)
Lack of Quenya (I promised I would learn! But alas...)
Off topic posts
Boredom (I've been known to regularly give it hugs...)
Rabbits (I always say hello to them when I see them...)
Acute paranoia (Sometimes...)
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Gene Wilder version (Love that movie...)
Men who unintelligently assign a woman's bad mood to hormones (What about women who do...?)
Offspring who don't fully understand the difficulties of being a parent (I'm a 16 year old...)
Captain of Despair (because I'd be going after him)
Procrastination (It's the only way to get things done...)
Bad habits (I have many...)
Going to bed when it's light out (I do it to take a nap so I can stay up when it's dark out)
Collegiate insomnia (Related to the previous...I already do it, and I'm still in high school)
Being introverted

And I hope that is a long enough list...with sufficient proof that I know, at least to some extent, what I am doing...

And finally...I have a character idea, and if you don't mind, I'd like to PM you about it, lmp. *stretches hands in anticipation of more typing*

-Durelin

P.S. - I think I should assign the overuse of ellipses (the punctuation kind) to Mordor...
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Old 11-03-2005, 08:49 PM   #33
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I've read your PM and your post, Durelin, and eagerly await your character descrip and first post. Cool! Making my very happy! Eager eager eager!

(can you tell I'm glad you're in?)
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Old 11-04-2005, 11:16 AM   #34
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The Settings for the Tests

These ideas will get further development, but I thought I'd give you an appetizer of what's ahead.

The Bureaucracy

This will feature hairsplitting bureacratic orcs who think they speak good English. Everybody's papers will be checked and rechecked. Orcs will, of course, say things like "nuculer", and "myself and _______", and will get easily offended causing the paper trail and red tape to take that much longer, government trying to improve people, queue cutters,
et cetera


The Road

Gridlock, road rage, flat tires, PT Cruisers, people are transformed into orcs merely by sitting behind the wheel, tailgaters, mobile/cellphone wielding orc-drivers, bad weather, fume and stench, heavy traffic, rising gas prices,
people always in a rush,
et cetera

The Town

Dogs wearing dog clothes and relieving themselves wherever, litter, cigarette smokers, cigarette butts, spit on the sidewalk, spitters, guys who proposition random girls, people who are easily offended, bad weather, chewing gum spat out & covering pavement, drivers who ignore pedestrians, fume and stench, guys who think pretty girls are always dumb, people always in a rush, the list is endless.....

The Hospital & Dentistry

Know nothing Mary Sue nurses, bureaucratic emergency rooms (with orc clerks), dentists, dogs who excrete wherever they like, et cetera

The University of Mordor

pretentious troll professors who speak Jamesian English, alarm clocks, early classes, frat parties, guys who think pretty girls are always dumb, people who say 'it's not rocket science',
final exams, and more.

Oh, and each test will have a deadline.
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Old 11-04-2005, 11:35 AM   #35
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Welcome to Mordor, Durelin!

The terrors ahead look...delightful, lmp.
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Old 11-04-2005, 12:01 PM   #36
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Will we have no official battles, LMP? I'd rather fancied the concept of the group getting caught up in an all out war between teenagers and parents, with strife amongst the group (go tension!) as a result to be dealt with. Perhaps an obligatory bit of deus ex machina to get the group back on with the journey... obviously not eagles, but perhaps... skwerls. Telling them that if they don't get back on task, they'll be forced to remain in Mordor. Or something equally fun.

Thoughts?
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Old 11-04-2005, 07:18 PM   #37
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Your responses are the reason I posted up. I want a cross pollination of ideas BEFORE we get started with the actual game. I'm sure you guys can think up plenty of stuff to improve upon, or replace my half baked ideas.

How about a parents versus teens street battle outside the University of Mordor? And don't worry, just because it's called a university doesn't mean teens can't go. It's the bureaucratic hub for all so-called education in Mordor.

And with all the various furry critters that have been assigned to Mordor, we have plenty of deus ex machina possibilities to choose from.
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Old 11-04-2005, 08:47 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by littlemanpoet
How about a parents versus teens street battle outside the University of Mordor? And don't worry, just because it's called a university doesn't mean teens can't go. It's the bureaucratic hub for all so-called education in Mordor.
Sounds great.

Quote:
And with all the various furry critters that have been assigned to Mordor, we have plenty of deus ex machina possibilities to choose from.
And just to make sure...
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Old 11-04-2005, 11:19 PM   #39
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Dark-Eye Two more players

We have our fourth player, Encaitare. Cool!

Our fifth player has yet to provide the lists and information, but has promised them to me soon. This player is the phantom. Kickin'!

Here are her two lists. Character descrip and first post are forthcoming. Pio, please add Enca and the phantom to the list of persons who can post here. Thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Encaitare
Greetings! I'd like to play in this game; here are my lists:

Things I have assigned:
- AP exams
- empty tubes of chapstick
- the chapstick company, which thinks it can sell a tube of solidified petroleum jelly for about $1.50
- door-to-door salespeople
- every author who wrote some depressing allegory or other kind of fiction about the dangers of communism/fascism/socialism/totalitarianism/other bad isms
- people who spit on the ground for no apparent reason
- cigarettes
- computers that randomly decide to rebel against you and break when they were working just fine a minute before.
- summer reading books
- standardized tests
- news reports, when they interview someone but only provide a snippet of what they're saying.
- Adware, and pop-up ads, and all those nasty things that don't belong on my computer
- mispronunciations, especially those of the name "Bach"
- misused homophones
- unnecessary plot points
- the concept that doing things like college applications is more important than wreaking Orkish havoc in an RPG. I also assign the concept that attempting to accomplish said Orkish havoc is "doing nothing".
- The blisters that come from wearing huge boots... and bus drills in gym class where they make you jump off the back of the bus in said huge boots.
- apathetic English teachers who don't care enough to really listen to what you have to say about the literature the class is reading
- The disappointment of actually having asked him out only to learn that he does not feel the same way
- When the really great cartoons are on too late to watch on a school night
- the Presidential Fitness Test
- having multiple assignments due on the same day
- evil bowling alleys

How I have been assigned:
- Thinking everyone should get out and vote
- Saying "My Bad".
- snoring
- wearing corsets
- having a cell phone
- using American spelling
- liking licorice
- reading and writing fanfiction
- speaking English
- enjoying furry animals
- enjoying the German language
- hating white chocolate
- digging Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (with Johnny Depp)
- being in love with The Deppster himself
- reading Roald Dahl's books
- multiple lynching
- being a teenager
- posting SAVEs
- saying “soda” instead of “pop” or “coke”
- moaning about taking a test and saying: "Let's not do it today, let's do it next time"
- dedicating large portions of my life to Werewolf games
- eating light Mayonnaise
- babysitting
- loving textbooks

Thanks for getting this game together. I expect awesomeness.

Enca
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Old 11-04-2005, 11:36 PM   #40
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Welcome Encai and tp! Can't wait to see what I know will be fantastically clever and amusing posts and bios.
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