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Old 07-24-2018, 09:20 AM   #1
ArcusCalion
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Silmaril The New Shadow

This is the first draft of the work The New Shadow.

This work uses the text of The New Shadow given in HoME 12 as its base text. Because it is so short, and the final text was given in full, there is very little editing to do to update it for reading.

The markings are:
NS-SL-xx for all expansions and changes to the narrative.

Some conventions of my writing:

Bold Text = source information, comments and remarks
{example} = text that should be deleted
[example] = normalized text, normally only used for general changes, as well as changes which are a part of replacement that is not grammatical.
Underlined Text = text changed for grammatical reasons in the process of combining and inserting and removing.
<source example> = additions with source information
...... = This section of the paragraph is unchanged from the source.

Quote:
THE NEW SHADOW

This tale begins in the days of Eldarion, son of that Elessar of whom the histories have much to tell. NS-SL-01 {One hundred and five years}[Two hundred and twenty years(?)] had passed since the fall of the Dark Tower, .... with his lord from the City to the Emyn Arnen.

'Deep indeed run the roots of Evil,' ... axe be hung up on the wall!'
'Plainly you think you are speaking .... In your own garden?'
Borlas looked up, and as he .... with a sharp nail-knife.
The two were sitting .... he said thoughtfully.
'Then why are you so .... others must look to the weeds.'
Borlas sighed, but he did .... house and talked to me.
'I remember it well. ‘Orcs' .... to do such a thing, lad?’
'Orcs' work! I was angered .... I may show you some!’
'It was a mistake, Master .... Saelon ended with a smile.
Borlas was startled. He was now .... his own thoughts to him.
'Alas!' he said, 'we all .... was the way of Orcs.'
'And is the way of Men ..... on their juices than blights?'
'A man,' said Borlas, 'who tends ..... the continuing of its kind.'
'Let him eat the fruit then, ..... do such things to trees.'
'You did not. You spoke of the ..... wantonness, but with reverence.
'If the smallest child of ...... pleasure in axe-play. That is orcish.
'But it is even as I said: ..... have spoken enough of this.'
'Why!' said Saelon. 'We have ..... he formed it. 'Of Herumor?'
Borlas looked at him with ..... but no sound came from it.
'I see that you have,' said ..... secret as cunning could contrive.'
'Whose cunning?' said Borlas, ...... blazed now with anger.
'Why, those who have ..... and fewer now are afraid.'
'So I have guessed,' said Borlas, ..... hand on the young man's knee.
'I will ask you a question first ...... heard the whispers of this name?'
Borlas looked down on ..... who have listened to the call?'
A strange smile flickered about the young ...... who have listened, or no?'
'How can you think it?' cried Borlas.
'And how can you think it?' asked Saelon.
'As for me,' said Borlas, 'do not all my words give you the answer?'
'But as for me, you would say,' ..... Well, who shall answer first?'
'The younger it would have been ..... was first asked. You are both.'
Saelon smiled. 'Very well,' ..... make the whispers clearer to you.'
He stood up. The sun had set ...... over the moon tonight.'
'Well, what of it?' said Borlas, ...... and laid a hand on his arm.
'I warn you rather to clothe ...... yourself while the light lasts.'
With that Saelon bowed and turned ..... still echoing in Borlas's ears.

For some while after Saelon ..... which burdened him less than his loneliness. NS-SL-02 <Note on C For he lived now with only two old servants, retired from the Prince's guard, in which he himself had once held office. Long ago his daughter had married and now lived in distant parts of the realm, and then ten years ago his wife had died. Time had softened his grief, while Berelach his son was still near home. He was his youngest child and only son, and was in the King's ships; for several years he had been stationed at the Harlond within easy reach by water, and spent much time with his father. But it was three years now since he had been given a high command, and was often long at sea, and when on land duty still held him at Pelargir far away. His visits had been few and brief. Saelon, who formerly came only when Berelach NS-SL-03 who had been his old friend was with Borlas, but had been most attentive when he was in Emyn Arnen. {Always in to talk or bring news, or run any service he could}> {Since his son, Berelach, had gone away again in April - he was in the Ships, and now lived mostly near Pelargir where his duty was - Saelon had been most attentive, whenever he was at home.} He went much about the lands of late. Borlas ..... though they seemed seldom to meet nowadays.
'Yes, that was it,' Borlas said to .... Nothing much, according to Berelach.
'‘Peace makes things slack,’ ..... are not safe for the unskilled.’
'That was all. But I spoke ..... off the coasts for a long time.
As he heard Saelon say this, ..... aloud about the Dark Tree.
He uncovered his eyes ...... spoke again, as if to the tree.
'Well, what is to be done now? ..... I should be better out of the way.'
With that a cold thought touched ..... And he had declared his hostility.
This thought decided Borlas, ...... good years, if I lose the throw.'
He straightened his back ..... Evil, and know it for what it is.'

The door under the porch was open; .... he smelt the old Evil and knew it for what it was.
NS-SL-01: This needs changing, because Elessar reigned for 120 years, meaning this event could hardly be said to be 'during the reign of Eldarion' and the sense of the story is that Elessar has been dead for some time. The only other date given in the texts is 220 years, which, although it seems very long, is the only other option we have, and I think we should use it instead.

NS-SL-02: This version was much longer and more detailed, so I thought we should give it instead.

NS-SL-03: This was a simple grammatical change needed to keep the flow.

This is the last draft for the entirety of Volume II, as well as for the continuous narrative history of Arda. It was very very straightforward to make a draft of it, and my gut tells me it was too easy, so I am sure Fin will have more comments about the story than I did.

Last edited by ArcusCalion; 07-24-2018 at 05:28 PM.
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Old 07-24-2018, 02:54 PM   #2
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NS-SL-02: I agree to this edit, but I would keep one bit form the original text:
Quote:
... His visits had been few and brief. NS-SL-02.5 <moved from below{Since his son, Berelach,}After his last vist he had gone away again in April. >Saelon, who formerly came only when Berelach NS-SL-03 who had been his old friend was with Borlas, ...
Posted by ArcusCalion:
Quote:
... so I am sure Fin will have more comments about the story than I did.
Well yes, you are rigth, but not overmuch in the text itself, as seem above. But you cannot have thoght realy, that we would end the story in that way. So here is my edit of it:
Quote:
... he smelt the old Evil and knew it for what it was.

NS-SL-05 <End Comment of The New Shadow Here{, both in A and B, The New Shadow}the source we have ends, and it will never be known what Borlas found in his dark and silent house, nor what part Saelon was playing and what his intentions were.> NS-SL-06 <Letter 256{I did begin a story placed about 100 years after the Downfall [of Mordor], but it}[b]But the story[/u] proved both sinister and depressing. Since we are dealing with Men it is inevitable that we should be concerned with the most regrettable feature of their nature: their quick satiety with good. So that the people of Gondor in times of peace, justice and prosperity, would become discontented and restless – while the dynasts descended from Aragorn would become just kings and governors – like Denethor or worse. {I found that even}Even so early there was an outcrop of revolutionary plots, about a centre of secret Satanistic religion; while Gondorian boys were playing at being Orcs and going round doing damage. {I could have written}The story was a 'thriller' about the plot and its discovery and overthrow.{ – but it would be just that. Not worth doing.}
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Old 07-24-2018, 03:14 PM   #3
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NS-SL-02.5: Agreed.

As for the final paragraph, I agree that we should include it, but I would edit it differently:
Quote:
NS-SL-05 <End Comment of The New Shadow Here {, both in A and B, The New Shadow}the source we have ends, and it will never be known what Borlas found in his dark and silent house, nor what part Saelon was playing and what his intentions were.> NS-SL-06 <Letter 256 {I did begin a story placed about 100 years after the Downfall [of Mordor], but it}But we know that the tale proved both sinister and depressing. Since we are dealing with Men it is inevitable that we should be concerned with the most regrettable feature of their nature: their quick satiety with good. So that the people of Gondor in times of peace, justice and prosperity, would become discontented and restless – while the dynasts descended from Aragorn would become just kings and governors – like Denethor or worse. {I found that even}Even so early there was an outcrop of revolutionary plots, about a center of secret NS-SL-07 {Satanistic}[Melkorist] religion; while Gondorian boys were playing at being Orcs and going round doing damage. {I could have written a 'thriller'}We only know that the tale was about the plot and its discovery and overthrow.{ – but it would be just that. Not worth doing.}
I changed the transition into 06 a bit to sound more natural and to convey a transition between the two thoughts. 07 I think is necessary, because we cannot say the religion is Satanic if there is no Satan in Arda! We have used the term 'Melkorism' before in our drafts, so I think 'Melkorist' is a good replacement. I also changed the final transition into the last sentence, to remove the 'thriller' comment, which seemed far too meta for the writing.
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Old 07-25-2018, 11:41 AM   #4
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NS-SL-07: Okay ‘Satanistic’ might not be good, but I would rather look for Letter 338 for a replacement. Anyhow we should give as well the information that this story would mark the end of Eldarions regin:
Quote:
… {I found that even}Even so early there was an outcrop of revolutionary plots, about a centre of secret NS-SL-07b{Satanistic religion}<Letter 338 societies practising dark cults>; while Gondorian boys were playing at being Orcs and going round doing damage. {I could have written a 'thriller'}We only know that the tale was about the plot and its discovery and overthrow{ – but it would be just that. Not worth doing.} NS-SL-08 <Letter 338{Except the beginning of a tale}and that it was supposed to refer to the end of the reign of Eldarion{ about 100 years after the death of Aragorn}.>
NS-SL-01: I think we have to do something about the dating of this tale. If we take the dating of Letter 338, Borlas would be about 230 years old. As Aragorn is called an exception being 210 when he died, this is unbelievable. We may consider that we have only the beginning of the tale, maybe Borlas and Saelon were just to start the story and at least Borlas would be soon out of it, long being dead befor the cumulation of the staory with the over through of the plot and the end of the regin of Eldarion in the year FA 220. In Note 7 we have the years given in all the manuscripts and typosscripts of the The New Shaodow, I give them in chronological order of writing:
Original draft: ‘less than one hundered and twenty years since the fall of the Dark Tower’ => FA 108 => 8 years after Elessars Death
Mansuscript A and B: ‘’Nearly one hundered and ten years had passed since the fall of the Dark Tower’ => FA 118 => 18 years after Elessars Death
Letter 256 from 1964: ‘about 100 years after the Downfall‘ => FA 98 => 2 years before Elessars death
Typoasscipt C1 is the same as A & B. => FA 118 => 2 years before Elessars Death
Typosscript C2: ‘One hundred and five years had passed since the fall of the Dark Tower’ => FA 103 => 17 years before Elessars Death
Letter 338 from 1972: ‘about 100 years after the death of Aragorn’ => FA 220

Up to the second edition of the LotR published in 1966 Aragorns death was in FA 100, then it was changed FA 120, That means we have to discard FA 98 and FA 103 as being to early since in both circumstances Elessar would still be alive. If we calculate rather with the death of Aragorn, then the Fall of Barad-dûr I would go with the 18 years and would place the conversation between Borlas and Saelon in FA 138. Borlas would then be about 148 years old. Which I find a good age for a retired Númenorean. And when we take Letter 338 serious that Eldarion regin up to FA 220, we would have a story line covering about 82 years. Long, but not impossible I think.
But I think all that is too much specific and to introduce it would take to much liberty with the text. So I suppose we take an unspecific ‘Many years’ instead of any number.

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Old 07-25-2018, 12:20 PM   #5
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Agreed to both, and nice layout of all the textual difficulties.
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Old 02-09-2019, 10:37 AM   #6
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I agree with the ambiguous "Many years" instead of specifically dating the text, since Tolkien never seemed to come to a satisfactory date which makes sense. I only have a few comments:

1) I am currently taking "Intro to Anglo Saxon" from Signum University, so grammar has been on the brain lately. NS-SL-02.5 and NS-SL-03 do not form a complete sentence with subject and predicate; instead, it has a subject and then several dependent clauses.

Quote:
NS-SL-02.5 <moved from below {Since his son, Berelach,}After his last visit he had gone away again in April.> Saelon, who formerly came only when Berelach NS-SL-03 [who had] been his old friend was with Borlas, but had been most attentive when he was in Emyn Arnen. {Always in to talk or bring news, or run any service he could}>
"Saelon" being the subject and the three bits starting with "who" and "but" being dependent clauses. I think we have to remove the "but". I also think we should keep the next sentence since Tolkien never rejected it:

Quote:
NS-SL-02.5 <moved from below {Since his son, Berelach,}After his last visit he had gone away again in April.> Saelon, who formerly came only when Berelach NS-SL-03 [who had] been his old friend was with Borlas, {but} had been most attentive when he was in Emyn Arnen. He was {A}always in to talk or bring news, or run any service he could.> >
2) In the end we talk about the source "we have". I'm not sure if we have used "we" or "us" to refer to a modern audience like this, but I actually like it, especially when used at the very end of the narrative. I also think it works nicely with the ending Arcus had suggested for the last chapter (which contains "us"); I think we should use it at the very end here, after a line break:

Quote:
NS-SL-09 <Appendix A Here ends this tale, as it has come to us {from the South}; and {with the passing of Evenstar} no more is said in this book of the days of old.>
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Old 02-09-2019, 11:03 AM   #7
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1) I agree to remove the but, but I removed that later sentence because the same info is repeated in the return to the original text later on:
Quote:
He went much about the lands of late. Borlas was not sure of his business, though he understood that, among other interests, he dealt in timber. He brought news from all over the kingdom to his old friend. Or to his friend's old father; for Berelach had been his constant companion at one time, though they seemed seldom to meet nowadays.
To keep the smaller sentence in thus seems redundant to me.

2) I agree this works nicely here.
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Old 02-09-2019, 11:31 AM   #8
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1) Ahh, got it, I missed the fact that it was repeated.
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Old 02-10-2019, 07:10 AM   #9
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1) I don’t think that the info is quiet the same, so I would let that last sentence stand as gandalf85 edited it.

2) Agreed. But I would like to a bit more, found in a quiet different place:
Quote:
NS-SL-05 <End Comment of The New Shadow Here{, both in A and B, The New Shadow}the source we have ends, and it will never be known what Borlas found in his dark and silent house, nor what part Saelon was playing and what his intentions were.> NS-SL-05.5 <UT, Istari It is said that in {later}these days (when again a shadow of evil arose in the Kingdom) it was believed by many of the "Faithful" of that time that "Gandalf" was the last appearance of Manwë himself, before his final withdrawal to the watchtower of Taniquetil. (That Gandalf said that his name "in the West" had been Olórin was, according to this belief, the adoption of an incognito, a mere by-name.) {I}We do not (of course) know the truth of the matter, and if {I}we did it would be a mistake to be more explicit than Gandalf was. But {I think}probably it was not so. Manwë will not descend from the Mountain until Dagor Dagorath, and the coming of the End, when Melkor returns. To the overthrow of Morgoth he sent his herald Eönwë. To the defeat of Sauron would he not then send some lesser (but mighty) spirit of the angelic people, one coëval and equal, doubtless, with Sauron in their beginnings, but not more? Olórin was his name. But of Olórin we shall never know more than he revealed in Gandalf.> NS-SL-06b <Letter 256{I did begin a story placed about 100 years after the Downfall [of Mordor], but it}[b]But we know that this tale[/u] proved both sinister and depressing. Since we are dealing with Men it is inevitable that we should be concerned with the most regrettable feature of their nature: their quick satiety with good. So that the people of Gondor in times of peace, justice and prosperity, would become discontented and restless – while the dynasts descended from Aragorn would become just kings and governors – like Denethor or worse. {I found that even}Even so early there was an outcrop of revolutionary plots, about a centre of secret NS-SL-07b{Satanistic religion}<Letter 338 societies practising dark cults>; while Gondorian boys were playing at being Orcs and going round doing damage. {I could have written a 'thriller'}We only know that the tale was about the plot and its discovery and overthrow{ – but it would be just that. Not worth doing.} NS-SL-08 <Letter 338{Except the beginning of a tale}and that it was supposed to refer to the end of the reign of Eldarion{ about 100 years after the death of Aragorn}.>ETA-SL-26<Appendix A

Here ends this tale, as it has come to us{ from the South}; and{ with the passing of Evenstar} no more is said in this book of the days of old.>
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Old 02-10-2019, 04:14 PM   #10
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I like the addition of the bit about Gandalf. If my username doesn't give it away, he's my favorite character from any work of fiction, so I'm absolutely on board with ending the entire mythology with a discussion of Gandalf. But I think Fin's placement of it breaks the flow of the discussion about the ending of the New Shadow. I would place it after the discussion, like so:

Quote:
NS-SL-05 <End Comment of The New Shadow Here{, both in A and B, The New Shadow}the source we have ends...the end of the reign of Eldarion{ about 100 years after the death of Aragorn}.>
NS-SL-05.5 <UT, Istari It is said that in {later}these days ...But of Olórin we shall never know more than he revealed in Gandalf.>
NS-SL-08 <Appendix A Here ends this tale, as it has come to us {from the South}; and {with the passing of Evenstar} no more is said in this book of the days of old.>
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Old 02-11-2019, 09:23 AM   #11
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I agree with gandalf's placement much more. it flows better.
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Old 02-11-2019, 06:17 PM   #12
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Okay, I agree to the placement. My placement was based only on the one important statement that I wanted to include, that there was again a fraction of the people calle “Faithful”. And that would have fit probabaly better before the end of Eldarions regin is mentioned. But it is okay at the end as well, since I agree that the part about Gandalf feels out of sequence at the earlier placement.

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Old 09-04-2023, 04:13 AM   #13
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I have severe reservations about the 200+ year old Borlas, and I think this thread is giving way too much weight to the statement of Borlas' presence at the time of the fall of Barad-dur.

Not only is there no indication that Borlas or Beregond were of "pure" Numenorean ancestry, but even if they were, it would still make Borlas older than Aragorn! And Aragorn's longevity was in itself an exception to the rule (as Findegil has already mentioned), given that in Aragorn a bit of old Dunadan majesty was restored.

So why would some (frankly) random Gondorian have a lifespan longer than Aragorn (or even Eldarion)? Nothing about this makes a lick of sense - not to mention that in the 1972 letter in which the c. FO 220 date appears, nothing whatsoever is said about Borlas or any character in the story for that matter.


Which makes me think that we should remove the statement about Borlas being Beregond's son, as well as the mention of Borlas being alive during the fall of Barad-dur.

Perhaps we could say that he was a descendant of Beregond?

He could (and should) still be very old - old enough to at least be a child during the final years of Aragorn's reign.
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Old 09-08-2023, 04:38 PM   #14
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Also, what do you think about the possible inclusion of a c. 2,700 year Fourth Age?

I posted this in another forum, but here it is again:

Quote:
Of Eldarion son of Elessar it was foretold that he should rule a great realm, and that it should endure for a hundred generations of Men after him, that is until a new age brought in again new things; and from him should come the kings of many realms in long days after. But if this foretelling spoke truly, none now can say, for Gondor and Arnor are no more; and even the chronicles of the House of Elessar and all their deeds and glory are lost.
- The Peoples of Middle-earth, 'The Tale of Years of the Third Age', pp. 244-5

So, if we take a normal human 'generation' to mean something like, say, 25 years - that would equate to c. 2,500 years.

And if we take Eldarion's death to be c. FO 200, that means that the Fourth Age lasted for about 2,700 years - which checks out with Tolkien's hastening Ages.
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Old 09-11-2023, 02:30 AM   #15
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See my posting from 07-25-2018: Our working assuomptiun was that Borlas is 148 years old when he speaks to Saelon in FA 138. Thus our interpretation of the text was an intro that links it back to LotR many years before the 'real action' would start. Some what like The Long expected Party in LotR, but with a much longer time gap to come.

About the 2,700 year Fourth Age: we actually used the qoute you provided from TY 4 in the chapter The End of the Third Age. But clearly the project will not give the assumption that these means the Fourth Age was 2,700 years long. At least not here. And I think even in the proposed 'Tale of the Years'-like part, one of the biggest issues will be such caclulations based un assumptions. In this special case you assume a generation would in average last 25 years. But we know that Tolkien was more familiar with the tarditional 30 years per generation, and that at least the first view generations would be longlasting Númenoreans. With such uncertainties fixing any date would mean to create a fact in Middle-earth. And that is exactly the one thing this project tries to avoid.

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Old 09-12-2023, 05:24 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by Findegil View Post
See my posting from 07-25-2018: Our working assuomptiun was that Borlas is 148 years old when he speaks to Saelon in FA 138. Thus our interpretation of the text was an intro that links it back to LotR many years before the 'real action' would start. Some what like The Long expected Party in LotR, but with a much longer time gap to come.

About the 2,700 year Fourth Age: we actually used the qoute you provided from TY 4 in the chapter The End of the Third Age. But clearly the project will not give the assumption that these means the Fourth Age was 2,700 years long. At least not here. And I think even in the proposed 'Tale of the Years'-like part, one of the biggest issues will be such caclulations based un assumptions. In this special case you assume a generation would in average last 25 years. But we know that Tolkien was more familiar with the tarditional 30 years per generation, and that at least the first view generations would be longlasting Númenoreans. With such uncertainties fixing any date would mean to create a fact in Middle-earth. And that is exactly the one thing this project tries to avoid.

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1) As to Borlas: even 'only' 148 years is still too much (since not even the Stewards, who were also descendants of Anarion, lived to such an age since the days of Hador, the 7th ruling Steward - who was also the last Gondorian to live to the age of 150, until Aragorn and his descendants).

Not only that, but do we actually have any strong evidence that your idea of a 'prologue Borlas' was ever Tolkien's intention?

IMO, the most probable interpretation of the 1972 letter was Tolkien misremembering what he wrote more than 15 years prior to his writing the letter, and conflated 'c. 100 years after the fall of Barad-dur' with 'c. 100 years after Aragorn's death'.

However, IF we're going to keep the far later date of FoA 220 (as per the above letter), the most logical and painless choice would be to simply change 'Borlas, son of Beregond' to 'Borlas, a descendant of Beregond' - and remove any reference to Borlas being alive during the end of the Third Age, as stated in my previous reply.


2) As to the 'c. 2,700 long Fourth Age': I agree - it's too speculative, especially since we already have the 'hundred generations of Men after Eldarion' included in the 'End of the Third Age' text. No need to make explicit what can (and should) be up to the reader's interpretation.

I would like to point out one thing, though - the '30 years per generation' doesn't work, since that would make the Fourth Age last c. 3,200 years (i.e. it would be longer than the Third Age); and since Tolkien decided that each successive Age should be shorter (as was already evident before: First Age lasted c. 4,900 years, the Second lasted 3,441 years, and the Third lasted 3,021 years), I still think the c. 2,700 years is the most likely duration.

But that's neither here nor there, and should belong to some other forum discussions.
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Old 09-12-2023, 07:37 AM   #17
Findegil
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1) Borlas: I don't think it is that simple, as mentioned before. Borlas memory of the old Evil is a part of the story that can't be taken away. Without it the story line as far as it goes at all falls apart, for me at least.

Anyhow, who is to say that it is a greater change to interprete the Borlas-Saelon-discussion as kind of prelude than to change Borals from a son of Beregond, who has memories of the end of the Third Age and War of the Ring, to a descendant of Beregond that aquiered that knowledge of the old Evil by what ever other means?

I would even be willing to put the story to an even earlier time by changing the allusion to the death of Aragorn in the begining just to keep Beregond able to 'remember the Evil of old'. In addition I would like to add that this thought of Borals - 'Perhaps I have been preserved so long for this purpose: that one should still live, hale in mind, who remembers what went before the Great Peace. Scent has a long memory. I think I could still smell the old Evil, and know it for what it is.' - confirms that he is old even for an Gondorian of Numenorian blood of his time.

Respevtfully
Findegil
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