Downsaholic Anonymous

[The Perky Ent]

Well, i didn't see any thread like it....so i'm starting it! Have a story to tell? Need help? This is the place!

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Hi.....my name is.....The Per....ky Ent....and....um....i'm.....i'm a.....downsaholic At first it was just healthy posting. I mean, i balanced my posting equally. A little Books here, and Novices here, and occasionally, movies. I was a prominent poster in the Shire. I had a regular character in the Green Dragon. But then i saw it. It was there in plain sight, but i never saw it until....until now. The Quiz Room. Millions of threads on the move. Every minute, a new responce. I was overwhealmed! I picked a nice thread. Family Ties (with no shoelases). That was my first. It was founded my Nilpaurion Felagond. He changed my life. Immediatly, I was drawn in! I couldn't stop. Then i saw them! 20 Questions on ME, A to Z of Middle Earth, First Age Trivia! i couldn't stop. Pretty soon, there was a collum containing just Perky Ent. But i couldn't stop there! I needed more! I started bumping threads every five seconds! I revived threads from 2 years ago. It was taking over. But then i said, 500 posts and i'll quit. Well, now i'm at around 550 posts and i can't quit. I've tried. I really have. But every time i scroll down to The Shire, i see them. The questions are always there. No one there but he. I just can't stop! I used to be hooked on Quotable Quotes, but i quit. I wish i could do the same for The Quiz Room, but there's too many threads! HEEELLLPPP! *exhales* glad to get that off my chest. Whoooo. It feels good to let it all out. It's nice to share the pain. *exhales* Deep breath.

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That was an example of a typical session. Now, who will be next?

[Pyroclastic]

Hi, my name is Pyroclastic, but please call me Pyro. I'm a Downsaholic. It all started last August, when I became lonely for some fellow LOTR freaks. It was nice, I felt so comforted to find such friends as you people. Then I noticed the time I spent on here begin to increase. I spent three days writing a story for the Eowyn Challenge Walk to Rivendell House Cup. I spent three weeks finding, editing, and uploading an avatar. Isn't it beautiful? You see my problem? As time went on, I began to work Downs related things into all of my conversations. "Yeah, yesterday on the Barrows we were talking about something like that..." Everthing began to fade to black, as all I ever viewed was the black Barrowdowns page. Friends tried to pull me back to the light, and I resisted. Is there any hope for me? I'll check back in a few hours...

[Eowyn Skywalker]

Hope fades... into the world of night...

I am sorry, Pyro, but you have all the signs of a dread Downaholic... perhaps you could try to go on other sites instead... like fanfiction.net... or mine... which appears to be replacing the barrowdowns at the time... http://ennaani.proboards3.com

Maybe there is hope for you... but you are fading fast... I doubt that one could call you back now...

Your only hope is to go with the flow, and fall completely into the Downs... maybe it will spit you back out.

But, until then, downaholic, have fun. Don't let the Downs get to you, it's fun to be dead, here, with other LOTR fanatics. At least you will have others stuck, forever wandering the mindless voids of the Barrowdowns.

You are not alone... can I get free from this trap...? I think not.

Slowly, you will die, slip into the dread ranks of over 100 posts. And it will happen.
All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given you.

Welcome to the ranks of Downaholic.

But do not despair. Others face the same doom... and others have faced it, and defeated it. You may be faced with the same evil, and you might defeat it...

At the moment, I suggest a new help site. Lotraholics, for we suffer even more... doomed to spend all our days quoting Tolkien's works... HELP!

-Eowyn Skywalker

[Thorongil]

Hello, my name is Thorongil, and I too, fear that I may have become a Downsaholic. A friend of mine first showed me this site, and solved quizzes, found an elvish name, read fictions and stuff like that. Then, I started posting in the forums. It started with N&N, i asked some questions about things I wondered about, and then I suffered the same fate as Perky: the quiz room! That and quotable quotes has taken over. It is too late for me, but maybe I can help others.

[Duncariel]

Few, I have not been here in a long time. I once was one of those downsaholics, on the internet every five minutes, able to name off a couple hundred 'downers without even trying. Those were the days. Carefree and happy I was then, until I was sucked into that dark void called High School. Six tests a day, speeches to memorize, monologues to write, friends to catch up with. Needless to say, I started to fall behind. Soon, I had been making maybe one post a week, then one a month, and then....well, you get the picture.

Then, one fateful day in mid-March, I returned. My eyes opened to the world as I once saw it. Tolkienites sharing in the love and joys of being among those who understood them. How beautiful it all truly is. Needless to say, much has changed. I have changed........

And that was really long and drawn out, sorry....

[Kransha]

Oh, I am sorely in need of such a thread. I feel rather honored to even be a downsaholic, since I still consider myself a newcomer. Technically, I have a lot of posting and forum experience, but I fear I am still immature in the ways of the wonderful Barrow-Downs. It pains me, gnawing at me like a warg pup, that I do not have the full scope of being dead enveloped into my countenance yet.

Well, I should get going then. To be blunt, you can call me Kransha. I used to be a good, law-abiding, self-respecting boy, who read all day, listened to classical music, and preached zelously about Tolkein as the fanatical psychotic within me requested. Now, I find that I am still a fanatic, but no longer a good, saintly, white wizard, oh no. I have descended with the Balrog to the very depths of darkness. I found this site many months ago and was primarily fascinated by it's name generators and games. Then, I found that it had a bustling forum. It was too perfect. I could have fun Tolkein-ly, I could exercise my meager writing skills in the RPG Section, I could relate my love of Tolkein's work, everything...

Now, I am boldly not ashamed to say that I spend most of my liesure hours here, since there always seems to be something I can read on the forums even if I'm not posting. In only a short month-and-a-half, I have become a hopeless downsaholic. HELP ME! I fear, though the road goes ever on an on, I'm very literally stuck on this one, and it shows no sign of ending anyway.

[Maeggaladiel]

You may laugh, but my name is Maeggaladiel, and I am a Downaholic.

Yes, my rank is currently "Newly Deceased," but let me explain;

Last year, the poster known as Maegaladiel would visit the Green Dragon and Middle Earth Mirth (Then known as Middle Earth Mayhem) twice a day. I was trapped in the hazy void of black and green every time I had a break at school. I had a regular character in the Dragon (Nahai, of the Skin Changers) and I had my own game column in MMMayhem. (That was the good old Round-About Game.) Then, I finally broke off. I experienced a horrid bout of withdrawal symptoms, but I managed to stay off for a year. When I returned, (will power broke. what can I say?) my entire account had been erased. Maegaladiel was gone. I had to add a G to my name in order to get a new account and start from scratch. Hence the MAEGGALADIEL name and the wicked NEWLY DECEASED. Now I'm back to my old habits, albeit I no longer have my own game or character, but I have been labeled as.. *sniff sniff* NEWLY DECEASED!!! I've died TWICE! The humanity, the horror! What's more, the extra g changes the meaning of my name from well-radiant to piercing radience. Hmm... That's not so bad, actually...

Horrified not as much at my lack of will then at my lowly rank,
MAEGGALADIEL of the TWO G's!

[Sirithheruwen]

To Add To Perky's List...

ForumStalkeritis

Symptoms: Excessive use of the "Who's Online?" page.

Problem: Stalking fellow BDer's around the 'Downs.

Cure: The only way to prevent ForumStalkeritis from completely consuming you is repeating this everytime you feel the urge to click on the "Who's Online?" page: "I will not click here...I am not a stalker...I am a leader, not a follower." Repeat 10 times for the best results.

[Mad Baggins]

Hello...my name is Mad Baggins, and I am a Downsaholic.

It began when I was innocently surfing the Internet, looking for an Elvish name translator. I happened upon the Barrow Downs, and was impressed with all the names that came up. I noticed that the site had a forum and that was it. I made a username and began posting. I posted all the time. I couldn't stop. It was an epidemic. I noticed the Shire and entered. Again I was sucked in. When my computer broke down for three days I had conniptions every time I walked past it. When it was finally restored I attacked the forum with renewed vigour. I decided to get a new username. So I did. I began posting again, but with less ferocity. Soon it was no longer a feeding frenzy of posts every day, but more like a relaxed buffet. Still, I am hooked. Happily.

[The Perky Ent]

Updated List of Diseases:

Symptoms: Worn out Tolkien Books, millions of page markers in books, spams

Problem: It appears that you are suffering from Bookiosis. Bookisos is a rare disease that occurs to serious posters on the Downs and newbies who post in the first Forum they see.

Cure: Unfortunatly, the only cure for Bookiosis so far will not cure you of being a downsaholic. The only known cure for Bookiosis is to either commit to Nov and New, Quiz Room, Middle Earth Mirth, or join an RPG.

Symptoms: Making fun of Newbies, constantly posting things without much though, bordom induced posting

Problem: You are suffering from Novia-et-Newia, a rare disease found in people who have been posting on the downs for a long time. Very rare, yet easily to cure.


Cure: There is one cure. Get a life. Stop tormenting yourself with the pointlessness. It will only make you more of an addict. Just get a life and move on.

Symptoms: Fried eyes, Broken movies and DVD's. Quoting Spasms.

Problem: Yep! It's a textbook case! You are suffering from Movioma. The actual word would be virus, not disease. It starts to consume you as you constantly post in the movies. Constantly checking the EE appendicies looking for comments.

Cure: A easy cury for Movioma is to watch other movies. A lot of other movies. Hopefully, the dranage effect should reduce your urge. If it doesn't, consider watching a really bad movie. It helps to clear your mind.

Symptoms: Obsessive posting, refreshing the forum every 2 seconds, pestering people about missed posts, constantly bumping threads, having ongoing conversations throughout a thread

Problem: Yes, you have it. The most fatal and popular disease currently spreading through the barrow downs faster then any other. You have Quiz Roomitis!

Cure: Sorry, there is no current cure for Quiz Roomitis. Just live the rest of you life to the fullest!

Symptoms: millions of page markers in books, constant search engines running for quotes, friends searching through multible books

Problem: You are Quotaphobic. Not as powerful as Quiz Room-itis, but still powerful.

Cure:If you get someone to hide your books, and let the threads go bye, it should cure the urge.

Symptoms: Knowing too much about the Sil, being too smart

Problem: You suffer from Silmariliapox

Cure The cure for Silmariliapox is simply to stop being such a nerd. Just don't be a nerd. Ya nerd! God, you're such a nerd!

Symptoms: Forgotten homework assignments, spending all your time on the downs reading, spending weeks on a 5 paragraph post

Problem: You have RPGemia. It is common in a lot of downers and is not easy to cure, as you make a commitment by joining a RPG.

Cure: One cure for RPGemia is going on Hiatus. Taking a break. Saying you'll be out even though you won't. this cure wooks for some, but not others, as they will be caught posting in other forums but not the RPGs. Another harder cure is to balance your time, by placing convient saves and filling them in when you have time. Don't place a save when you know you can't fill it the next day. Also, make a chart of how many day's you have until they kick you out.

Symptoms: Being funny, having humor, having a good time.

Problems: There is nothing wrong with you. By posting in Middle Earth Mirth you prove you're not crazy.

Cure: posting in Middle Earth Mirth is the cure!

ForumStalkeritis

Symptoms: Excessive use of the "Who's Online?" page.

Problem: Someone has been abusing their power. You are suffering from Forum Stalkeritis, a drive-bye disease found during excessive posts.

Cure: The only way to prevent ForumStalkeritis from completely consuming you is repeating this everytime you feel the urge to click on the "Who's Online?" page: "I will not click here...I am not a stalker...I am a leader, not a follower." Repeat 10 times for the best results.


ANY MORE?!?

[Kransha]

There are, I believe, another one or two diseases.

Problem: The first is similar, in theory, to Silmarilopox, bit not quite. It stems from being too smart, but is more dangeroud to others. Though my name for is not necessarily the best one, I've dubbed it Hyperpostitis.

Symptoms: Primarily having long, sometimes massively off topic, almost entirely unreadable posts that are filled with stuff from LotR but are just too long and bizarre to even attempt reading. I myself have done this and, without offending anyone else, can honestly say I have seen posts like this from others (won't say who *whistles innocently*).

(Note: In truth, I love posts like this, but I'm sure they're not entirely heplful to some newcomers who might be utterly befuddled by a tremendous epic post)

Cure: Probably a simple toning it down. Long, thought-out posts are always encouraged, but after you've written such an epic monstrousity, take moment to read it over and make sure it is comprehendable.

The second problem, plausibly more dire.

Symptoms: You have become so attached to the Downs and its members that you are terrified of being shunned, even though the fact is unlikely, and thus never post anything controversial, interesting, argumentative, or even as far as your own views because you're afriad someone will disagree.

Problem: Barrowostriphobia (ooh, that's quite a name) is what I decided to dub this, since I believe it is a deep rooted fear of earning dislike from any member of the Downs in the form of 'cold-shoulder giving' or ostricism.

Cure: Just take a deep breath, wait for the oppurtunity to rise, and post as any person would. Don't be afriad if you're wrong or if someone doesn't agree. Unless you do something really stupid, you're on the right track (if you have done something really stupid, be afraid...be very, very afraid).

[ElenCala Isil]

Alas, I am ElenCala Isil (call me Mip) and I'm afraid I am a downsoholic. I, fell to the power of the downs when a friend discreetly handed me a url in a back alley. I.. I took it without thinking, and my life has never been the same. I even hallucinate, thinking there are barrow-wights in every corner, I spend days trying to perfect posts, and I feel powerless without it. Mirth, in particular, has become my happy drug. It would seem I'm proving I'm not crazy, I just have a good time, but I feel that I may have acute RPGemia! I have often thought in math class Eep! I forgot to do my homework! But I know those extra hours of perfecting my RPG post will have paid off. When's the next time I can get to a computer? I have to check if someone has replied!!I know I used to have quotophobia, but I seem to have broken the disease sucessfully. Some might say I suffer from Silmariliopox, but if I'm led to believe it might be Hyperpostitis. *hangs head* I know I have Forum Stalkeritis. I've suffered from it since I can remember, and I don't think I have it in me to stop. And the one disease that I suffer from severely, is Movioma. The quote spasms seem to grow daily, more and more until I get to the point that when given a sheet of paper, I begin to write out a movie script! But with your professional examinations of said diseases, I shall try to recover from my symptoms. Perhaps there is hope for me yet!